Thursday, March 19, 2009

Edward Scissorhands

Day 31 - 1/31/09 - Movie #32

BEFORE: Since I was out sick this week, I went in to the office again on Saturday, and brought another film on the popular VHS format. Probably the only Tim Burton film I haven't seen yet - another one I probably should have watched years ago, considering its reputation.

THE PLOT: An uncommonly gentle young man, who happens to have scissors for hands, falls in love with a beautiful teenage girl.

AFTER: I didn't get this film either. It seemed to be based on one sketchy premise, and was ultimately pointless. How about explaining WHY he had scissors for hands? Why did anything happen the way it did in this film? Plus the stereotypes about suburbia were dumb, degrading, and also pointless.

RATING: 2 out of 10 topiaries

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Day 30 - 1/30/09 - Movie #31

BEFORE: I'm feeling a little better, I slept most of the day, so it's easier to stay up late and watch a movie. Since I'm in the Wes Anderson groove already - this is another great example of a film I've been TRYING to watch for years. And isn't Bill Murray always great?

THE PLOT: With a plan to exact revenge on a mythical shark that killed his partner, an oceanographer rallies a crew that includes his estranged wife, a journalist, and a man who may or may not be his son.

AFTER: Well, Bill Murray was good, and I get the premise - What if Jacques Cousteau were a big jerk? - but I just DIDN'T GET this movie. Not quite a comedy, not quite a drama or action film, like a lot of elements were thrown in a blender. Didn't add up to a coherent whole for me.

RATING: 4 out of 10 jellyfish

The Muse

Day 29 - 1/29/09 - Movie #30

BEFORE: I'm home sick with some kind of food poisoning or stomach flu - I barely made it home last night. So, it's a good chance to watch a film (or two). And I'm a big Albert Brooks fan.

THE PLOT: A comedy about a neurotic screenwriter and his modern-day muse.

AFTER: I guess I'd seen parts of this before, but not the whole film. Brooks and Jeff Bridges were great. Liking Brooks' deadpan, self-deprecating humor helps a lot with this film.

RATING: 6 out of 10 cookies

The King of Kong

Day 28 - 1/28/09 - Movie #29

BEFORE: I heard a lot about this documentary, but I guess I didn't know the whole story behind it. Late last year I watched a doc called "Chasing Ghosts: Beyond the Arcade", which told the back-story of some of the people who hold world-record scores on arcade games. Looks like some of the same people are featured in this film...

THE PLOT: Diehard video game fans compete to break World Records on classic arcade games.

AFTER: Since I watched the other film, I guess I DID know a few things about Billy Mitchell, Walter Day, Steve Sanders, etc. This movie is edited in such a way that you end up rooting for the upstart/underdog, and Billy Mitchell is seen as a slick manipulator who won't defend his title. It goes on all the time in the boxing world - why should the champ agree to a rematch? That said, the video of Mitchell's "Donkey Kong" high-score sure looked faked to me, I'm shocked the judges accepted it. I was also shocked to find out that someone actually has to watch hours and hours of video-game footage, and relieved to find some people geekier than myself.

RATING: 7 out of 10 rolling barrels.

Bottle Rocket

Day 27 - 1/27/09 - Movie #28

BEFORE: I loved "Darjeeling" so much, I thought I'd watch Wes Anderson's first film, starring Luke and Owen Wilson. I remember hearing good things about it...

THE PLOT: A trio of friends have an elaborate plan to pull off a simple robbery and go on the run.

AFTER: Well, it didn't have the same heart behind it that "Darjeeling" did, just the same quirkiness and dialogue style. It's hard sometimes to connect with criminal characters on an emotional level, even quirky careless ones. There's not a lot of point to this film, it feels like someone's first film, but it also feels like a good Sundance-style film.

RATING: 4 out of 10 firecrackers

The Darjeeling Limited

Day 26 - 1/26/09 - Movie #27

BEFORE: Staying up late again, but it's a short movie. I dug "Rushmore", so I'll give this a spin. Too bad the cable channel didn't run "Hotel Chevalier", the short film that played in the theatres before this feature, starring Natalie Portman as Jason Schwartzman's ex!

THE PLOT: Three brothers who have not spoken in a year set off on a train voyage across India with a plan to find themselves and bond with each other. Their "spiritual quest", however, veers rapidly off-course.

AFTER: Well, again I found a film that's a little short on story, but I think the appeal lies in the way the three brothers talked and interacted, and formed a family unit. It's weird to see Owen Wilson as the oldest brother, the one in charge. But it worked well as a road movie, a type of cathartic spiritual journey. I found myself thinking about this movie the next day, finding more meaning in some of the small details, so it affected me in a good way. Though it's a slice-of-life sort of situation, I think there are some larger issues about family and death that really made an impact.

RATING: 8 out of 10 sweet limes

Heaven Can Wait

Day 25 - 1/25/09 - Movie #26

BEFORE: I've got to stay ahead, and not fall behind. One week until the Super Bowl, so it's a fine time to watch a football film. This is one of those cases where I sort of know the plot from reading the Mad magazine parody, but I've never seen the actual film.

THE PLOT: An L.A. Rams quarterback, accidentally taken away from his body before he was supposed to die, comes back to life in the body of a recently-murdered millionaire.

AFTER: I usually don't care for Warren Beatty (or Julie Christie), but his character was so sincere and believable. I do like Buck Henry and Charles Grodin, though. It's too bad that I knew everything that was going to happen, thanks to Mad magazine, but that's OK.

RATING: 7 out of 10 footballs

Tommy Boy

Day 24 - 1/24/09 - Movie #25

BEFORE: Racked up an extra movie while at the office today. One of Michele's favorites, I think. I now get some of her joke references, like saying "Fat Guy in a Little Coat!"

THE PLOT: An incompetent, immature, and dimwitted heir to an auto parts factory must save the business to keep it out of the hands of his new, con-artist relatives.

AFTER: A little heavy on the slapstick for my tastes, but it was still a comedy with heart. Chris Farley was capable of more than just acting like an ass. Solid performances from Brian Dennehy and Dan Aykroyd as well.

RATING: 5 out of 10 brake pads

The Wedding Singer

Day 24 - 1/24/09 - Movie #24

BEFORE: It's Saturday, and I have to go into the office. It looked like I wouldn't have time for a movie, but then Shell reminded me I could take movies to watch at the office! VHS, anyway, since the office DVD player broke down. So I picked 2 movies on tape - will try to watch them both, since I've got the New York Comic-Con coming up...

THE PLOT: Robbie, the wedding singer and Julia, the waitress, are both engaged to be married but to the wrong people. Fortune intervenes to help them discover each other.

AFTER: Well, there were a few too many romantic confusions/complications, and the inevitable pairing of the 2 leads was blatant, but it was still an entertaining poke at the 1980's. And the film took advantage of Sandler's singing "ability" on the 80's songs.

RATING: 6 out of 10 wedding cakes

Open Season

Day 23 - 1/23/09 - Movie #23

BEFORE: I put this on a DVD with "Over the Hedge", so I'll get this one out of the way so I can re-file the disc. But I fell asleep about half-way through, so I had to finish it later in the evening.

THE PLOT: Boog, a domesticated bear and Elliot, a fast-talking mule deer, form an unlikely friendship and must rally other forest animals if they are to form a rag-tag army against the hunters.

AFTER: Though the voices were very well-cast, Ashton Kutcher, Martin Lawrence and especially Gary Sinise, there's not much to the story. Obviously not enough to keep me awake, at least. And it's still more of that "clumsy animals fall down" animation - do kids enjoy this stuff? It all seems to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

RATING: 5 out of 10 antlers

The Cable Guy

Day 22 - 1/22/09 - Movie #22

BEFORE: Same as yesterday, I'm watching a film while dubbing it to DVD. Seems short enough for a weeknight.

THE PLOT: A lonely and disturbed cable guy raised on television just wants a new friend, but his target rejects him, with bad consequences.

AFTER: A weird character study by Jim Carrey, but I didn't really see the point. Why am I wasting my time with odd black comedies - aren't there some Oscar winners I could be watching?

RATING: 4 out of 10 karaoke songs

Be Kind Rewind

Day 21 - 1/21/09 - Movie #21

BEFORE: Dubbing this movie to DVD, so I figured I'd watch it at the same time. Seems relatively short, and I heard it was funny.

THE PLOT: A man whose brain becomes magnetized unintentionally destroys every tape in his friend's video store. In order to satisfy the store's most loyal renters, the two men set out to remake the lost films.

AFTER: Wow, what a disappointment. Jack Black just acted like an ass the whole time, and I just HATE Mos Def. He's got zero acting presence, and his diction is horrible, I could barely understand him. How does he keep getting work? I also didn't like the portrayal of the city people, who for some reason liked the low-rent knock-off versions of the films better. Were they too stupid to recognize bad acting and cheap effects? The only part I liked was when they rallied at the end to save the video-store.

RATING: 2 out of 10 erased tapes.

Over the Hedge

Day 20 - 1/20/09 - Movie #20

BEFORE: I was out playing trivia tonight, so it's back to shorter animated films. Even so, I managed to fall asleep during viewing.

THE PLOT: A scheming raccoon fools forest creatures into helping him repay a debt of food, by invading the new suburban sprawl that popped up while they were hibernating.

AFTER: What a great voice cast - Bruce Willis, Steve Carell, Nick Nolte, Garry Shandling and Thomas Haden Church! The story was good, but the action was a little too hyper. A lot of those "animals fall down" moments - still, exciting and enjoyable.

RATING: 8 out of 10 Spuddie Chips

Sahara

Day 19 - 1/19/09 - Movie #19

BEFORE: Let's continue the theme of treasure hunt movies, starring meathead actors as scientific geniuses and would-be supermen. Here's another in the same vein, but as a bonus, this one has Penelope Cruz in it. As a doctor. No, really, she plays a doctor. Matthew McConnaughey plays the resident genius/hunk who's obsessed with finding a lost historical MacGuffin.

THE PLOT: Explorer Dirk Pitt goes on an adventure seeking out a lost Civil War battleship in the deserts of West Africa while helping a UN doctor being hounded by a ruthless dictator.

AFTER: Completely implausible, to the point of being ridiculous - but yet somehow also an enjoyable thrill-ride. I got caught up in the action and had a good time.

RATING: 7 out of 10 gold coins.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Day 18 - 1/18/09 - Movie #18

BEFORE: Might as well, with the 1st movie fresh in my brain.

THE PLOT: Treasure hunter Benjamin Gates looks to prove his ancestor's innocence, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

AFTER: Well, it doesn't QUITE measure up to the first movie, the puzzles were a little less defined, there wasn't as much story or action, and the stakes weren't quite as high.

RATING: 5 out of 10 gold bricks.

National Treasure

Day 17 - 1/17/09 - Movie #17

BEFORE: Another movie that really prompted me to start this project. It seems like a slam-dunk movie for me - I love puzzles, heist movies and historical trivia. I'm just not a big fan of Nicolas Cage - though he was pretty good as "Ghost Rider", this seems a little out of his weight-class.

THE PLOT: A treasure hunter is in hot pursuit of a mythical treasure that has been passed down for centuries, while his employer-turned-enemy is onto the same path.

AFTER: Despite being far-fetched and almost completely unbelievable, I rather enjoyed this one. Though I still wish they had cast a better actor as the lead smart-guy. The puzzles were well thought-out, and the reversals were well-planned.

RATING: 8 out of 10 Masonic symbols.

Heist

Day 16 - 1/16/09 - Movie #16

BEFORE: It's funny, sometimes you put a movie on tape or DVD just to fill up space - and it turns out to be a great film. I put this on a disc after "Ocean's Thirteen" and it looks like a winner - a heist movie with Gene Hackman and Sam Rockwell - and also Ricky Jay and Rebecca Pigeon, which means David Mamet probably wrote it. Good signs.

THE PLOT: A jewel thief's nephew is sent along on a heist to ensure a longtime partner in crime stays honest about the division of the loot.

AFTER: Really, really smart flick. Maybe TOO smart. I love a good double-cross movie, but this has triple- and even quadruple-crosses. A little hard to keep track of it all. Reminds me of other Mamet movies I like such as "House of Games" - but with Sam Rockwell, one of my fave actors.

RATING: 7 out of 10 gold bars.

Valiant

Day 15 - 1/15/09 - Movie #15

BEFORE: Short on time, thanks to ANOTHER 2 hours of "Idol" - and this disc was out of the case, since I put it on the DVD after "Madagascar". I'm good at identifying voices, so I picked out Ewan MacGregor, John Cleese, Ricky Gervais and (I think) Jim Broadbent fairly quickly - but I'll have to check the credits to be sure.

THE PLOT: This animated comedy tells the story of a lowly pigeon named Valiant, who overcomes his small size to become a hero in Great Britain's Royal Air Force Homing Pigeon Service during World War II.

AFTER: It's short and fairly simplistic, but it does show a small bird overcoming the odds and becoming a war hero, so it's got a positive message.

RATING: 6 out of 10 medals.

Madagascar

Day 14 - 1/14/09 - Movie #14

BEFORE: I'm a little short on time again, since tonight was the 2-hour premiere of "American Idol", which I just HAD to watch. (love those trainwreck auditions...) I've got a bunch of these (relatively) short animated features to watch, so let's start with this one.

THE PLOT: Four animals from New York Central Zoo escape, unwittingly assisted by four penguins, and find themselves in Madagascar, among a bunch of merry lemurs.

AFTER: Well, it was a little simplistic, and had a few too many of those watch "animal falls down" slapsticky moments, but it was still entertaining. Good voices and a good initial story idea, but the plot seemed unresolved, like half of a complete story. Guess that's what sequels are for...

RATING: 7 out of 10 merry lemurs.

Ocean's Thirteen

Day 13 - 1/13/09 - Movie #13

BEFORE: Well, it's GOTTA be better than Ocean's 12... and Al Pacino makes movies better, right?

THE PLOT: Danny Ocean rounds up the boys for a third heist, after casino owner Willy Bank double-crosses one of the original eleven.

AFTER: Yep. Definitely better. And good cameos from Julian Sands, David Paymer, and Super Dave Osborne! This one actually had a plot, and some motivations. But where were Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones? Sorry, I don't accept Ellen Barkin as a substitute.

RATING: 6 out of 10 loaded dice.

Ocean's Twelve

Day 12 - 1/12/09 - Movie #12

BEFORE: Might as well - while the first movie is fresh in my mind.

THE PLOT: Daniel Ocean recruits one more team member so he can pull off three major European heists.

AFTER: Ugh. Incomprehensible, almost unwatchable. There were zero motivations, no character development, and the switcheroo came as too much of a surprise. I heard they made "Ocean's 13" to apologize for this one. I agree that this one was bad, but is making ANOTHER sequel the solution? Guess I'll find out tomorrow...

RATING: 3 out of 10 poker chips.

Ocean's Eleven

Day 11 - 1/11/09 - Movie #11

BEFORE: I love a good "heist" movie, one with double-crosses and triple-crosses, scams and such. It only took my 8 years to get around to watching this one, but that's what this project is all about.

THE PLOT: Danny Ocean and his ten accomplices plan to rob three Las Vegas casinos simultaneously.

AFTER: Yeah, like I hoped, a top-notch heist film. Even with all the planning they showed, I still didn't see the switcheroo coming - nice! Some clever writing and editing, plus a bunch of colorful characters.

RATING: 8 out of 10 (or is it 11?)

Starsky & Hutch

Day 10 - 1/10/09 - Movie #10

BEFORE: Another film I taped and put on DVD about 2 years ago, and just never found the time to watch. I loved "Dodgeball" and "Night at the Museum", so I have high hopes for another film with Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.

THE PLOT: Two streetwise cops bust criminals in their red-and-white Ford Torino with the help of a snitch named Huggy Bear.

AFTER: Y'know, I rather enjoyed it, even though I never watched the original TV series. This was pretty funny, even though the TV show wasn't (intended as) a comedy. I liked all the jokes that poked fun at the 1970's, and cop shows from the 70's. Stiller + Wilson made a good pair, with good cameos by Patton Oswalt and Will Ferrell.

RATING: 8 out of 10 little white packets.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle

Day 9 - 1/9/09 - Movie #9

BEFORE: Geez, how long have I put off watching this film? Feels like years...

THE PLOT: Harold and Kumar are two stoners who end up getting the munchies. What they crave the most after seeing a TV advertisement is a trip to White Castle.

AFTER: I have to say, I wasn't all that impressed. People seem to think this is funny, at least in a cult-movie kind of way. But it just seemed really forced to me, watching 2 guys drive around New Jersey, acting dumb, meeting other dumb people, I just don't see the appeal - it was just dumb. Why didn't they just go straight to the restaurant?

RATING: 2 out of 10 dimebags.

Wordplay

Day 8 - 1/8/09 - Movie #8

BEFORE: Yeah, I needed to watch another shorter film tonight - but I'm not cheating! I really did want to watch this documentary about competitive and famous crossword puzzle solvers.

THE PLOT: An in-depth look at The New York Times' long-time crossword puzzle editor Will Shortz and his loyal fan base.

AFTER: I thought it was pretty well put together, despite the dry subject matter. I do love puzzles myself, so this was right up my alley.

RATING: 7 out of 10-across.

Shrek the Third

Day 7 - 1/7/09 - Movie #7

BEFORE: Michele joined me for this one, we watched the first 2 Shrek films together, the first one repeatedly on our honeymoon cruise.

THE PLOT: When his new father-in-law, King Harold falls ill, Shrek is looked at as the heir to the land of Far, Far Away. Shrek recruits his friends Donkey and Puss in Boots to install the rebellious Artie as the new king.

AFTER: I really don't have much to say - they managed to advance the Shrek story without messing with it very much, bring in another bazillion dollars, and entertain America - I guess. But haven't we modernized the old fairy tales enough yet?

RATING: 6 out of 10 ogre-babies.

Surf's Up

Day 6 - 1/6/09 - Movie #6

BEFORE: I'm tight for time tonight - played Team Trivia, and I haven't moved my comic-book night yet. So a relatively short animated film will have to do, if I'm going to get any sleep. I did watch "Happy Feet" last year, without following up with this "other" animated penguin film.

THE PLOT: Into the world of the Emperor Penguins, who find their soul mates through song, a penguin is born who cannot sing. But he can tap dance something fierce!

AFTER: 10 minutes in, I picked out the voices of James Woods, Brian Poseman, and Diedrich Bader - cool! (I have a knack for that...) For a "copycat" movie about penguins, that was very good. The characterizations and message about humility and friendship was inspiring. The voice work of Jeff "The Dude" Bridges really made it special. Now bedtime.

RATING: 8 out of 10 longboards.

Heavy Metal

Day 5 - 1/5/09 - Movie #5

BEFORE: This animated feature is like the "Casablanca" of animation - meaning every time I start to watch it, I lose interest. But yet I respect it, and realize how important a film it is. Plus 1/2 of the voices were done by the cast of SCTV, so let's see if I can make it through this time. I just taped "Heavy Metal 2000" off cable, and I'd like to say I watched this one first.

THE PLOT: A glowing orb terrorizes a young girl with a collection of stories of dark fantasy, eroticism and horror.

AFTER: I made it through the film! Finally! My geek cred goes up! Though there is a unifying element to the stories, it's still very disjointed. And that last tale was a bit too close to torture-porn for me. None of the stories seemed to have a point or a payoff, like, say, an episode of the "Twilight Zone". Still, I'm happy to finally "get" this movie, whatever there was to get, I don't think there was much.

RATING: 4 out of 10 Loc-Nars, and I'm being generous.

Clerks II

Day 4 - 1/4/09 - Movie #4

BEFORE: The final piece of the Kevin Smith "Askewniverse", the only one I haven't seen. Huge fan of "Jay & Silent Bob Strikes Back", for all the Star Wars references. But part of what made "Clerks" successful was the indie, made-on-a-shoestring attitude. Can a big-budget, color sequel capture the same magic?

THE PLOT: A calamity at Dante and Randall's shops sends them looking for new horizons - but they ultimately settle at Mooby's, a fictional Disney-McDonald's-style fast-food empire.

AFTER: OK, so it was no "Jay & Silent Bob", but it had some charm. Like "Juno", it had the lingo down, and the romantic developments were incredibly obvious, but at least it had more story structure than "Clerks" did. It's so hard for Kevin Smith to rise above, isn't it? Like Dante, he seems to have found his skill level, and that's that. Funny and offensive, but not outrageously so on either point.

RATING: 6 out of 10 milk jugs.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Day 3 - 1/3/09 - Movie #3

BEFORE: My sleeping schedule's all screwed up, due to a swelled-up foot. So since I'm wide awake at 2 am, let's cross another movie off the list. I've been enjoying the "Clone Wars" series on Cartoon Network, so it makes sense to watch the lead-in feature.

THE PLOT: As the Clone Wars sweep through the galaxy, the heroic Jedi Knights struggle to maintain order and restore peace...

AFTER: Not bad, a little tedious watching clones getting shot over and over, but hey, that's war... It might have worked better as 3 or 4 episodes of the show, in terms of pacing. In fact, I think that's the way it was originally planned, before they decided to release it theatrically.

RATING: 7 out of 10 Clone Troopers

Juno

Day 2 - 1/2/09 - Movie #2

BEFORE: I had to transfer this movie to DVD anyway, so I figured I'd watch it and make sure it's a good copy - also I just met my new niece and nephew at Christmastime, so matters of babies and pregnancy were sort of at the forefront.

THE PLOT: Faced with an unplanned pregnancy, an offbeat young woman makes an unusual decision regarding her unborn child.

AFTER: I thought it was an interesting character study, but that's about it. The story was pretty obvious, and the dialogue very "hip" - at least an approximation of how adults THINK hip teens talk.

RATING: 5 out of 10 pregnancy tests.

Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Day 1 - 1/1/09 - Movie #1

BEFORE: For me, this is the no-brainiest of the no-brainers. Perhaps the film that forced my hand in declaring 2009 a movie year. For the first time, Mr. Lucas + Mr. Spielberg (+ Mr. Ford) collaborated on a film, and rather than increase their box office, I chose to send them my money by purchasing a DVD. Sorry about that guys, I know you were worried about me.

THE PLOT: Famed archaeologist/adventurer Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones is called back into action when he becomes entangled in a Soviet plot to uncover the secret behind mysterious artifacts known as the Crystal Skulls.

OK, first sequence down, and we've got all the Cold War / 1950's references - Commies are the new Nazis, aliens landed in Roswell, Elvis, nuclear testing, Howdy Doody - tune in next time when Indy battles hippies at Woodstock on his "Quest for the Silver Bong". And hey, nice cameo by the janitor from "Scrubs"!

AFTER: Well, that was certainly thrilling - I can't wait to play the video-game version! I don't really see why the "South Park" creators had such a problem with the film, saying that Lucas and Spielberg "raped" Indy's legacy - what was that all about? Good to see Karen Allen again, but Cate Blanchett was so much hotter as a Russian spy!

Today, I set out on a quest of my own - to seek out new entertainment and appreciation for films - 1 down, 364 to go!

RATING: 8 out of 10 fire-ants.

The Rules

As mentioned, I have created a list of over 400 movies, either store-bought on DVD or burned onto DVD by my own efforts. This is NOT a copyright violation, as I'm paying for premium cable, and my DVR only holds 36 hours - I'm merely making a digital copy of each movie in order to watch it when my schedule permits. I am not duplicating films for personal gain or for distribution.

I am free to add or subtract from "THE LIST" as I see fit. No suggestions for the list will be taken, unless they come from Close Personal Friends of Honky (C.P.F.H). All films must have been released in a cinema and be considered an actual movie - TV movies ("The Bradys Go Hawaiian") will not be considered.

Ratings will be done on a 10-point scale, with 10 being equivalent to "Return of the Jedi" and 1 representing "Ishtar" (or what I perceive Ishtar to be, since I haven't seen the film). Although comments are welcomed, the judge's score is final. Offer valid in 49 states (sorry, Tennessee!)

What I like best: comedies, sci-fi, thrillers, superhero films, spoofs, movies about heists + scams, movies about time travel, character actors, animated films adults can enjoy, gratuitous female nudity (oh, heck, even non-gratuitous). But I'm willing to watch classics, Westerns, musicals, or whatever IF they're important, or I think I will enjoy them.

Movies will be watched (more or less) at random, however I'm willing to consider theme weeks, like baseball films in April, horror movies around Halloween, and so on. One movie may lead me to the next, but it may not. It's most important for me to pick a film I feel I will enjoy on any
particular night, since in the end it's all about my enjoyment of the movies.

And if I should fall asleep late at night while watching a movie, I will not blame the film first - I will make an attempt to finish the film later that day. If I fall asleep AGAIN, I'll scrap that film and move on down the list.

An introduction...

Hello and welcome to Honky's Movie Reviews and House of Waffles (OK, movie reviews for now, but just as soon as I can figure out how to post waffles - then look out!).

Honky's my nickname, my real handle is John, and I work in the film business, specifically the NYC animation scene. I moved from Park Slope to Queens, NY a few years back, bought myself a DVD recorder, subscribed to all the premium channels and started beefing up my movie collection. However, due to time constraints and other excuses, I fell really behind on actually WATCHING the movies. I was like a panicked squirrel in late autumn, storing nuts for winter, but forgetting to actually, you know, EAT once in a while.

I turned the big Four-OH! last year, and to celebrate my birthday (I assume), one of the channels ran a marathon of the "Planet of the Apes" movies. The old ones, not the Tim Burton remake. Though I had seen bits of them as a kid, I never watched them all through, in the proper order. The films made a bit more sense this way... This led to my first-ever New Year's Resolution, to make 2009 my year to catch up on watching movies that I haven't gotten around to.

I used to love movies - at least, I think I did before I got so busy... So I hope to re-ignite a love and respect for movies by making them part of my daily routine, without feeling like it's a chore. Working from a list of over 400 unwatched movies in my collection, I hope to watch 1 per day, mostly in the prime viewing hours between midnight and 2 am. I may not make it to 365 movies in a year, due to vacations, business trips and family emergencies, but I will try my best.

Since I also watch TV for work (and fun), I'll have to get creative in managing my time - if I'm short on time, I can pick a shorter movie on weeknights, and watch longer epics on the weekends. Books and videogames will have to take a back-seat for a while - since I still need to juggle two jobs, quality time with the wife, and some close approximation of a social life. Plus there's this thing called "sleep" that people keep recommending to me, I'll have to look into that one of these days. Maybe on the weekends my wife will join me for an extra film here and there...

I dedicate my efforts, and this blog, to the memory of my maternal grandfather, Edward Swist. Though we only shared a decade on Earth, he managed to turn me on to crossword puzzles, and he snuck me out to see my first PG-rated movie, "King Kong" in 1976. My mother threw a fit, since she only allowed me to see Disney films and other G-rated movies approved by the Catholic Church. Family legend says that Gramps turned down an offer to work in the film business, (something with Kodak?), and if he had, I probably wouldn't exist. Yet here I am, in NYC and living the dream because of a road not taken years ago.

Dim the lights and roll the movies...