Michael

Year 2, Day 190 - 7/9/10 - Movie #558

BEFORE: Time to test my theory on John Travolta - that he tends to play the only character in a movie with a proper moral compass. Since he plays an angel in this film, I'd say that the chances are good.

THE PLOT: Tabloid reporters checking out a report of the Archangel Michael living with an old woman find that it's true.

AFTER: Which is the greater sin - being a bad movie, or being a pointless one? Because I've seen plenty of movies that are "bad" in some way, yet managed to entertain or have a message. So I'd say that being pointless is the greater offense.

Three reporters (technically two reporters and one wannabe) travel from Chicago to Iowa, where they find an authentic angel. They seem to sort of skip over questions like "Is this angel real?" and "Are we being scammed?" and go straight to "Can he fly?" and "What's his wing-span?"

They drive him back to Chicago (because putting him on a plane would end the movie too quickly...) and he wants to see the sights along the way, like the world's biggest frying pan and the world's largest whatever...but the angel has another plan in mind.

Yes, once again Travolta is the "man with the plan", but the problem is that it's never really revealed to the audience. We can presume that his real agenda is to bring two heartbroken people together, but is this really the kind of thing that needs divine help? Shouldn't these affairs of the heart occur naturally, as part of the human condition? Doesn't God have more important things to do?

Angels just sort of seem like a religious compromise, between believing that God set the universe in motion and then let it develop, and believing that God takes an active role in the day-to-day affairs of humanity. You know, like stopping wars and making sure that your favorite sports team wins. (Problem is, some people are praying for the war to continue, and for the other team to beat yours...) So we have angels - God doesn't take an active role in humanity's affairs, but his staffers do. What a copout.

The only way I'll accept this film would be to imagine that the two people that Michael the angel brings together produce a child who is actually the Second Coming of Jesus, who will rise up against the AntiChrist at the End of Days, following the Rapture. Now THERE'S your movie... What's the matter, Nora Ephron? Too controversial a subject? Or do you just not know how to follow through on an idea?

You may notice that I don't dwell too much on religious issues - for the record I was raised Catholic, but now mostly identify as agnostic. I'd like to believe that there's some order to the universe, some controlling force, but I don't see any direct evidence that wasn't thought up by ancient humans as a replacement for the modern science they didn't have. Anyway, I'm certainly not arrogant enough to say that I am able to understand how the universe works (and I probably side more with science than religion - in the same way I favor astronomy over astrology). In essence, I believe that the smartest man admits that he knows nothing on the topic - how can one know the unknowable, anyway? I treat religious people the same way I treat sharks - I stay out of their ocean, and they stay out of my living room. It seems to work. But when zealots ring my doorbell, or start preaching on the subway train, well, now we've got a problem. You want to debate me, bring it on - I guarantee, you'll be sorry. (And it's always fun when I go back home for Christmas...)

Also starring William Hurt (last seen in "The Incredible Hulk"), Andie MacDowell (last seen in "The Muse"), Bob Hoskins (last seen in "Mrs. Henderson Presents"), Robert Pastorelli, Jean Stapleton, with cameos from Joey Lauren Adams, Teri Garr (last seen in "The Sting II"), Wallace Langham and Richard Schiff (last seen in "Last Chance Harvey")

RATING: 3 out of 10 slices of pie

A Civil Action

Year 2, Day 189 - 7/8/10 - Movie #557

BEFORE: In addition to my movies, I've been trying to catch up on TV shows, and I'm about 4 months behind. Usually the summer would be a good time to catch up (remember the good old days when the networks shut down for the summer?) by watching what I call "smart TV" - shows like "Law & Order", "CSI", "Mythbusters" - leftover from March and April, but I keep getting bogged down in "stupid TV" - like "Wipeout", early auditions on "Last Comic Standing", and trying to determine if America does, indeed, have talent. Plus a number of shows I enjoy, like "Rescue Me", "Top Chef", and "Futurama" have just STARTED their seasons, but I'm going to have to just tape those shows and watch them in September - so, essentially, I'll never really catch up.

Next week, I'll start a chain of "cops & robbers" movies that will take me clear through to mid-August - so I'll be watching cop movies and cop TV shows all summer long. Let's hope tonight's film is more like "Law & Order" than "Wipeout".

THE PLOT: The families of children who died sue two companies for dumping toxic waste: a tort so expensive to prove, the case could bankrupt their lawyer.

AFTER: From the world of small-time filmmaking to the inner workings of a small-time Boston law film. The theory I've formed on John Travolta, based solely on the last 6 films I've watched, is that he tends to play a character trying to do the right thing - and often the ONLY character in the film who seems to know what the right thing is. From investigating the murder in "General's Daughter" to the earwitness in "Blow Out", even the imprisoned cop disguised as a master criminal in "Face/Off" (OK, I guess that only counts for half, since for half that film he was playing the criminal disguised as a cop...) Maybe "Broken Arrow" doesn't fit the pattern, either...

But here he plays Jan Schlichtmann, a personal-injury lawyer who leading a civil suit/crusade against companies that have histories of dumping their waste and contaminating the wells of Woburn, MA. But he's fighting outside his weight class, since one of the defendants has an experienced lawyer (Robert Duvall) who's probably forgotten more about the law than he knows to begin with.

I kept waiting for the scene where he wins the case by inviting the opposing council to a sit-down meeting, then he serves them the water from the contaminated wells as refreshment - but that never happened. I think that famous scene appeared in a different film...

The movie progresses at a snail's pace (see, it's called a MOVIE, it's supposed to, you know, MOVE...), but in its defense, I'm guessing a lot of trials move pretty slowly. Still, it's the filmmakers' job to keep it interesting. But the film seems to run out of steam, at about the same time that the case does.

And as a theme during the closing credits, someone chose "Take Me To the River" by the Talking Heads. Really? Who thought that was appropriate for a movie about contaminated water?

Also starring John Lithgow (last seen in "Blowout" with Travolta), Tony Shalhoub (last seen in "Primary Colors" with Travolta), William H. Macy (last heard in "Everyone's Hero"), Zeljko Ivanek (last seen as Bobby Kennedy in "The Rat Pack"), Kathleen Quinlan (last seen in "Airport '77"), Dan Hedaya (last seen in "A Night at the Roxbury"), James Gandolfini (last seen in "The Last Castle"), Stephen Fry, and look, it's Daniel Von Bargen again (3rd time this week!) Also, cameos from Sydney Pollack and Kathy Bates (last seen in "The Day the Earth Stood Still").

RATING: 5 out of 10 hostile witnesses

Blow Out

Year 2, Day 188 - 7/7/10 - Movie #556

BEFORE: Travolta-Thon continues, and you might have noticed the absence of such films as "Saturday Night Fever", "Grease" and "Urban Cowboy"...and if so, my response is that you are indeed a keen noticer of exactly this sort of thing. Again, the goal here is not to watch every John Travolta film ever made, but to watch the ones that are already in my movie collection. Anyway, my personal ban on "Saturday Night Fever" and "Grease", imposed back in 1978, remains in effect, to the best of my knowledge.

After watching 4 or 5 Travolta movies in a row, I'm working on a theory...which is the main reason for watching them consecutively, for comparative purposes. I want to watch a couple more before I post my theory, though.

THE PLOT: A sound-man accidentally records the evidence that proves a car "accident" was murder, and consequently finds himself in danger.

AFTER: From John Woo to Brian DePalma, another director with a signature style (and both directed films in the "Mission: Impossible" series). The DePalma film I'm most familiar with is probably "Body Double", and there are some obvious similarities - riffs on horror movies, women who are all either b-grade actresses or prostitutes (or both), and a lot of loose ends that don't get tied up.

This film is set in the world of low-budget filmmaking, a world I know all too well (since I spend a couple days a week in it) - who knew they made slasher films in Philadelphia? Travolta plays Jack, a sound-FX engineer, and there's some great footage of him working with those old reel-to-reel tape recorders, and Steenbeck flatbed editing machines - and a synchronizer! I tell my co-workers about working with Bolex cameras and Nagras, and film splicers where you actually had to cut the film with a blade, and they look at me like I'm talking about Victrolas, and phones that you had to crank. No, I used all these now-outdated things at NYU film school in the late 80's (OK, I never could get the hang of that synchronizer...) and then I rode home on my pet dinosaur... You kids today with your crazy scanners, and your FinalCut software, and your pixel-based CGI!

Anyway, Travolta's character is out recording sound effects in a park one night, and he accidentally records the sound of a gunshot, followed by a car crash. He rescues a girl from a car that's driven into a lake, but is later told by the cops and the media to forget the whole thing - but Jack is sure that he's heard an assassination. Try telling the police that you're an "ear-witness" to a murder, good luck with that.

Jack puts the moves on the girl from the car, and they exchange back-stories, while he sets out to prove what he heard. Apparently someone also filmed the crash, and Jack syncs up his sound with still frames cut out of a magazine - nice trick, but wouldn't it just be easier to get a copy of the film? Oh, yeah, this was back in the days when you had to bring film to a lab, then wait three days to pick it up... (that was how it worked, and we LIKED IT!) Jack then scans the film for the shot from the grassy knoll that killed ArchDuke Ferdinand...wait, that can't be right. Anyway, the accident more closely resembles Chappaquiddick than Dealey Plaza.

So, if it's an assassination, who's behind it? And what's the connection to a serial killer targeting loose women in the Philadelphia area? And why does Jack need to drive his car straight through the middle of a parade? Jeez, I wish I'd known that the film's climax takes place during a parade and fireworks, I would have watched this film on July 4, instead of "The General's Daughter"!

The ending was disappointing to me, since nothing really got explained, and the movie has a very callous disregard for its main characters, as well as for the audience. The movie pretty much falls apart near the end, the main character makes some very bad decisions, and just seems to lose his interest in bringing the truth to light. And if he's not interested, you can guess how I felt.

Also starring Nancy Allen, Dennis Franz, and John Lithgow (last seen in "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers"), one of my fave actors, but he's very underused here.

RATING: 4 out of 10 boom mikes

Face/Off

Year 2, Day 187 - 7/6/10 - Movie #555

BEFORE: Tonight I want to address our government leaders, or whoever might be in charge of maintaining this facade known as Daylight Saving Time. (That's right - "Saving", not "Savings", but I digress...) Why we spend 7 months of the year fooling ourselves into thinking it's 1 hour later than it's actually supposed to be is beyond me. My first problem is, I've been heading home from work at 7 or 8 pm, and it's still light out. That shouldn't be normal, not this far south of the Arctic Circle, anyway. Second problem, we're in the middle of a heatwave and IT TAKES ONE MORE HOUR FOR THE CITY TO COOL OFF, YOU MORONS! But you don't think about that during the winter, now do you?

Some people say it's "for the farmers". Well, I say screw the farmers. Don't they have roosters that can wake them up at sunrise, to water their crops or whatever it is they have to do? Then some people say it's for the safety of the schoolkids. Again, screw them too. Anyone who wants to wake up an hour earlier to get to work or school is free to do so - all I know is, I lose an hour of sleep in the spring, and I never seem to get it back, so I'm constantly playing catch-up. Why are we "saving" all this daylight, anyway? When do we get to spend some of it, damn it?

I'll say it plainly - anyone running for office at the federal, state or local level who's willing to work toward eliminating DST will get my vote. I don't care if they're a Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Green Party, Tea Party, Green Tea Party, Black Panther Party, or the Whigs. Who's with me? If you want stronger government, vote for the people that will stand up to the Farmer's Lobby. If you want smaller government, vote for the people who will reduce staff, starting with the guys who have to change all of your city's and state's clocks twice a year. Put them to work doing something else, and we've just saved a few million dollars in salaries (you're welcome...).

Anyway, it's hot as all heck this week, and I've been told that people like to watch these big, loud, stupid action movies during the summer - of course, that's usually in an air-conditioned theater... Tonight, another Travolta action film directed by John Woo.

THE PLOT: A revolutionary medical technique allows an undercover agent to take the physical appearance of a major criminal and infiltrate his organization.

AFTER: Ah, the title is a play on words...not usually a good sign.

This movie goes way beyond those "false faces" seen in those "Mission: Impossible" films, one of which was also directed by John Woo. This guy likes people in disguise as much as he likes people shooting two guns at once, or scenes filled with pigeons and/or doves.

I could say this is an exercise in good vs. evil, or an examination of appearance vs. inner realities, or a treatise on the "masks" that people wear in their jobs. Or, I can be honest and say I just want to see how and why two guys switch their faces...

John Travolta plays Sean Archer, the head of the FBI anti-terrorism unit, and Nicolas Cage plays Castor Troy, noted criminal and prospective mad bomber. Archer undergoes an innovative surgery (NOTE: this film pre-dated actual face transplants...) to get Troy's face, in order to go undercover and learn the location of the bomb from Castor's brother, who is named Pollux (of course he is...).

Technology makes Archer look and sound just like Troy, temporarily - and the only way this could go wrong would be if Troy woke up from his coma, and got his own face transplant to look like Archer, and really, what are the chances of that happening?

So, the actors essentially switch roles - Cage gets to play the hero disguised as the villain, and Travolta gets to play the villain, hiding in plain sight as an FBI agent, in an FBI agent's house, with an FBI agent's wife. Similar to the mental duels seen in "The Prestige", both men have to learn everything about the other one's life, in order to get the upper hand. But when the villain decides to act like a straight arrow as his cover, and the hero is forced to act like a villain, the lines become somewhat blurred. One has to wonder if the characters (and the actors...) had trouble keeping track of things.

It's a unique acting challenge - aided by some fancy ADR work where Travolta's voice seems to be coming from Nicolas Cage's mouth during the transition. And both actors had to let just a little of their "inner" character through, so the audience can follow along with who's really who. Which is about as much character depth you can expect to find in an action movie.

And that's what this film is - a loud, action-packed thrill ride, with an incalcuable number of bullets fired, and a high body count - was it necessary for so many FBI agents, prison inmates, and innocent bystanders to die, just so these 2 enemies could get inside each other's heads? Er...faces? And how is it OK to injure prison guards, just so you can escape and clear your name? I must have missed that FBI memo - there had to be a better way. At least the other agents let these 2 dick-wanks battle it out in the finale without killing more people around them...

However, for a movie that starts out as far-fetched and speeds directly toward ludicrous, I did find it very exciting and entertaining. And that's the bottom line. (and didn't Scorcese later riff off this same idea, minus the facial surgery, for "The Departed", and win a Best Picture Oscar? I'm just sayin'...)

Also starring Joan Allen (last seen in "Pleasantville"), Gina Gershon (last seen in "The Insider"), Margaret Cho, James Denton, John Carroll Lynch (from the "Drew Carey Show"), CCH Pounder, with Thomas Jane (who faced off against Travolta in "The Punisher") as a prison inmate, and Danny Masterson (Hyde from "That 70's Show") as Karl, the boyfriend with the grabby hands. Also character actor Harve Presnell ("Fargo") as the head of the agency - and I could have sworn that was Michael Gross from "Family Ties" as the facial surgeon - nope, it was someone named Colm Feore.

RATING: 7 out of 10 speedboats (may the Movie Gods forgive me)

Broken Arrow

Year 2, Day 186 - 7/5/10 - Movie #554

BEFORE: Wrapping up the holiday weekend with another John Travolta military film. We had my father-in-law, brother-in-law and future sister-in-law over for some backyard grilling today - I think it's a law, you have to grill outside at least once on the July 4th weekend. Although I won't leave the house on July 4 itself, going out in the backyard on the 5th is fine.

THE PLOT: Terrorists steal nuclear warheads from the US military but don't count on a pilot and park ranger spoiling their plans.

AFTER: According to this film, "Broken Arrow" is a military code for a lost nuclear missile. The best line of the film is a military character saying: "I don't know what's scarier, losing nuclear weapons, or that it happens so often there's actually a term for it."

Travolta plays Major Vic Deakins, a trained stealth-bomber pilot who's been passed over for promotions so many times that he goes off the deep end, and tries to steal two nuclear missiles, and hold them (or a major U.S. city) for ransom from the government. Could it happen? Beats me, I'm no expert.

But this is a John Woo film, which means that there are plenty of spectacular stunts, some of which riff off of recurring images from his films - like that move where someone runs down a corridor with a gun in each hand, getting double the usual number of shots off. Or two people holding guns on each other at close range, in a classic "Mexican Standoff" pose...

But then we have stunts that are just too spectacular, and ridiculous, to be believed. Like someone taking down a helicopter with a handgun? Possible, but very very unlikely. Or setting off grenades while deep inside a copper mine - yeah, that's probably not recommended. And what about escaping said mine by following the current of an underground river? That could easily head down into the bowels of the earth - now me, I'd follow that river upstream, since if you're underground already, you'd probably want to go higher and get back above ground. Again, I'm no expert.

But why, oh why, would a person holding a gun put that gun down, and give up their tactical advantage, just because he's challenged to a fist-fight? Personal pride? You have him in your sights, dummy, just shoot him!

There are a ton of other plotholes and continuity errors, most of which I'm willing to overlook - since this is a movie, and movies are supposed to (mainly) entertain, when all is said and done. And this was entertaining, for the most part. The action-movie genre isn't usually my first choice, but I've been managing.

And at least Travolta showed a little depth here - as a military man who's gone a little crackers and power-crazy, a villain who thinks he's a hero is acceptably interesting.

The whole movie is set in the Utah desert, and I have to say that the unbearable heat here in NYC today really added to the atmosphere. I'd write more, but I have to be up in just a couple hours - back to work, the holiday weekend is over...

Also starring Christian Slater (last seen in "Young Guns II"), Delroy Lindo (last seen...er, heard in "Up"), Howie Long, Samantha Mathis, Frank Whaley (last seen in "World Trade Center"), and character actors Bob Gunton (last seen in "Fracture", but most famous as the warden in "Shawshank Redemption"), Kurtwood Smith (Red from "That 70's Show"), and Daniel Von Bargen (what did I say - last night he was a sheriff, tonight he's a general...)

RATING: 6 out of 10 parachutes

The General's Daughter

Year 2, Day 185 - 7/4/10 - Movie #553

BEFORE: July 4 is one of those holidays that for me is a "non-social" one - meaning that I would prefer not to leave the house. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day - these are very social days to spend with family and loved ones. But I'll be staying in on New Year's Day (too many crazy drunks), Independence Day (too many random fireworks), and Halloween (too many psycho-vandals). My Travolta-thon continues with something (hopefully) patriotic.

THE PLOT: When the daughter of a well-known and well-respected base commander is murdered, an undercover detective is summoned to look into the matter and finds a slew of cover-ups at West Point.

AFTER: Well, I wouldn't exactly call this patriotic, though it's got a military setting and takes place on an army base. So many soldiers with something to hide - including the title character, who is murdered and found tied to the ground, naked and violated. (Happy Fourth of July, everyone!)

Travolta plays Off. Paul Brenner, who has to team up with another investigator (who happens to be his ex-lover) to get to the bottom of this mysterious crime. The fact that the murder victim was herself a soldier, who worked for the Army's Psych-Ops, and was an expert in messing with the enemy's head, doesn't help. There are secrets wrapped in a cover-up, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in Army politics. As one character warns Brenner, there's the right way to investigate, the wrong way, and then there's the "Army way".

I remember that when this movie was promoted, the commercial played the scene with Travolta's character interviewing James Woods' character, who was in a cell - Brenner asks, "What's worse than rape?" and Woods' character says, "When you find that out, you'll have your answer..." Well, now I know what this movie thinks is "worse than rape", and I have to say, I think rape is actually worse. What's worse than rape? Nothing, really, especially the way it's portrayed in this film.

Still, it's a pretty tight thriller, with only a few minor goofs relating to Army regulations.

I suppose I could re-configure the Denir-O-Meter to a Travolt-O-Meter and rate these movies based on Travolta's level of performance, but I don't know, it seems like a lot of work. I'm not a huge fan, and I think his performances are pretty one-note, like, say, Schwarzenegger's. According to the internet, Michael Douglas and Bruce Willis were considered for the lead role in this film, and I think either of those actors might have made it work. There's nothing specific about Travolta that made him a shoo-in for this role. Besides, half the time he was using the same fake Southern accent he used in "Primary Colors", and the other half of the time he was talking through clenched teeth, seemingly so that his face wouldn't move, for some reason...

Also starring James Cromwell (last seen in "The Babe"), Timothy Hutton (last seen in "Ordinary People"), Madeline Stowe, James Woods (last seen in "The Way We Were"?), and Clarence Williams III. Oh, and "Hey, it's THAT guy" character actor Daniel Von Bargen (last seen in "The Postman") as the local police chief. He tends to play a lot of sheriffs ("O Brother Where Art Thou", "Super Troopers") and military men ("West Wing", "Malcolm in the Middle").

RATING: 6 out of 10 court-martials

Phenomenon

Year 2, Day 184 - 7/3/10 - Movie #552

BEFORE: Enough magic tricks - let's get back to people with "real" powers...

THE PLOT: An ordinary man sees a bright light descend from the sky, and discovers he now has super-intelligence and telekinesis.

AFTER: My original plan was to watch this film right after "Powder", and that would have been a good one - the central characters have a lot in common. Both have read a lot of books, appear to have superior intelligence, and have some kind of telekinesis based on matter/energy conversion.

Here George Malley (John Travolta) is a small-town mechanic who sees a bright light in the sky one night, then finds he has the ability to learn and process information quickly, like learning foreign languages, speed-reading, and coming up with ideas for new sources of energy. But though he is filled with new ideas, he encounters difficulties that include people avoiding him, and encounters with the government.

It's an interesting idea, but it's rife with little plotholes. If he's so super-smart, why didn't he realize that answering encrypted military messages might be a bad idea? Or why not predict that people would shun and fear his powers? For a smart guy, he makes a lot of mistakes...

And once again, it seems like a movie character is granted powers, without a clear idea of what he should be doing with them. The plot takes a sudden turn, and when the source of Malley's power is revealed, it seems like all other concerns, including the best way for him to accomplish things, get put aside. Perhaps with good reason, but still...

The implication seems to be that if only we could all tap into our brain's potential, we'd have all kinds of great ways to solve our energy problems, predict earthquakes, and make medical miracles - sounds great on paper, but it still seems like a stretch. Am I just being cynical?

Also starring Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker, Robert Duvall (last seen in "Kicking & Screaming"), and Brent Spiner (last seen in "Superhero Movie", playing the same sort of wacky scientist)

RATING: 4 out of 10 carburetors

With this film, I kick off a week of Travolta films - though I already watched "Hairspray" and "Primary Colors", I can at least bundle the rest of them together. Travolta becomes the 6th actor I'm building a theme week around, after Schwarzenegger, Eastwood, DeNiro, Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell.