Day 151 - 5/31/09 - Movie #151
BEFORE: Enough negativity - let's try the comedic side of world destruction. Can't the end of the world be funny too? Morgan Freeman reprises his role as God in this sequel to "Bruce Almighty".
THE PLOT: God contacts Congressman Evan Baxter and tells him to build an ark in preparation for a great flood.
AFTER: There's a lot of comedy talent here, in addition to Steve Carell - the smaller roles played by Wanda Sykes, John Michael Higgins, Jonah Hill, Molly Shannon and Ed Helms. Maybe it doesn't really fit with my theme this week, but I'm glad I watched it, if only to brighten things up a bit.
It's really a "message" film, even though the exact message may be open to individual interpretation. Pick your favorite: "God works in mysterious ways", or "Random acts of kindness can change the world", "Spend more time with your family" or "Be kind to animals". They'll all work, and they'll all make you feel good. Special effects provide the action, but the special message will provide a smile.
RATING: 7 out of 10 cubits
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Children of Men
Day 150 - 5/30/09 - Movie #150
BEFORE: Tonight I watch my big sesquicentennial film - one that features another dystopian future (hmm...that word-a-day calendar is really paying off...) This movie takes place in 2027, and everyone in the world is infertile - there hasn't been a birth since 2009. Ironically, we're up in Massachusetts this weekend, visiting my parents' house to see Abby and Jack, our 6-month old niece and nephew.
THE PLOT: In a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea.
AFTER: A world with no children has no future - so all of human culture has a maximum lifespan of 100 years. Everyone therefore starts to act in their own best interest, and the world quickly spirals into riots and chaos - makes sense, I suppose. There's a bunch of terrorists/rebels led by Julianne Moore's character, but I never really understood what their motives were or where all these "foogies" (short for refugees?) came from - presumably they came to the UK from countries that were in worse shape?
The big question becomes - will the possibility of the first human birth in 18 years unite the world, or finish tearing it apart? Like the last movie, this film also mentions a flu epidemic, but places it in the year 2008 - ooh, so close, thanks for playing. They never really explain why no one can give birth any more - whether it's genetic or viral or linked to the flu outbreak - I guess it's not that important, but you could say it's a plothole that needs filling in.
The future is apparently very violent, noisy, and filled with last-second escapes.
RATING: 5 out of 10 safe-houses
STATUS UPDATE: I started this project on Jan. 1 with a list of 438 movies to watch - but in addition to crossing movies off the list as I watch them, I've also been adding movies to my want list as I think of them, and recording new movies off cable as before. So even though I've watched 150 films, my list has only decreased to about 385 instead of 288 - so it's been like two steps forward, one back all along. I'm going to try to stay the course for the summer and then re-assess the goal.
BEFORE: Tonight I watch my big sesquicentennial film - one that features another dystopian future (hmm...that word-a-day calendar is really paying off...) This movie takes place in 2027, and everyone in the world is infertile - there hasn't been a birth since 2009. Ironically, we're up in Massachusetts this weekend, visiting my parents' house to see Abby and Jack, our 6-month old niece and nephew.
THE PLOT: In a chaotic world in which humans can no longer procreate, a former activist agrees to help transport a miraculously pregnant woman to a sanctuary at sea.
AFTER: A world with no children has no future - so all of human culture has a maximum lifespan of 100 years. Everyone therefore starts to act in their own best interest, and the world quickly spirals into riots and chaos - makes sense, I suppose. There's a bunch of terrorists/rebels led by Julianne Moore's character, but I never really understood what their motives were or where all these "foogies" (short for refugees?) came from - presumably they came to the UK from countries that were in worse shape?
The big question becomes - will the possibility of the first human birth in 18 years unite the world, or finish tearing it apart? Like the last movie, this film also mentions a flu epidemic, but places it in the year 2008 - ooh, so close, thanks for playing. They never really explain why no one can give birth any more - whether it's genetic or viral or linked to the flu outbreak - I guess it's not that important, but you could say it's a plothole that needs filling in.
The future is apparently very violent, noisy, and filled with last-second escapes.
RATING: 5 out of 10 safe-houses
STATUS UPDATE: I started this project on Jan. 1 with a list of 438 movies to watch - but in addition to crossing movies off the list as I watch them, I've also been adding movies to my want list as I think of them, and recording new movies off cable as before. So even though I've watched 150 films, my list has only decreased to about 385 instead of 288 - so it's been like two steps forward, one back all along. I'm going to try to stay the course for the summer and then re-assess the goal.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I Am Legend
Day 149 - 5/29/09 - Movie 149
BEFORE: Will Smith takes over for Charlton Heston in this possibly more faithful (?) adaptation of the same book -
THE PLOT: Years after a plague kills most of humanity and transforms the rest into monsters, the sole survivor in New York City struggles valiantly to find a cure.
AFTER: Well, the special FX are better, and the vampire/mole people are a lot scarier. In "Omega Man" they just had white skin, blank irises and were light-sensitive, but otherwise talked and acted pretty human. Here they seem to be full-on, first-person shooter vampires. The other major change is that the disaster that killed most of the population has changed from a nucular fallout to a virus, one that was intended to cure cancer, but mutated.
The scenes of an almost deserted NYC were very vivid, especially (for me) the scenes around Grand Central Station, since I work in that neighborhood 3 days a week. And with the swine flu - sorry, H1N1 virus - closing NYC schools, it seems particularly timely. The movie does refer to 2009 as the start of the virus, after all.
I still hate Bob Marley music, though. And all these visions of disaster are starting to wear on me. I've got to find a way to lighten this process up.
RATING: 7 out of 10 blood vials
BEFORE: Will Smith takes over for Charlton Heston in this possibly more faithful (?) adaptation of the same book -
THE PLOT: Years after a plague kills most of humanity and transforms the rest into monsters, the sole survivor in New York City struggles valiantly to find a cure.
AFTER: Well, the special FX are better, and the vampire/mole people are a lot scarier. In "Omega Man" they just had white skin, blank irises and were light-sensitive, but otherwise talked and acted pretty human. Here they seem to be full-on, first-person shooter vampires. The other major change is that the disaster that killed most of the population has changed from a nucular fallout to a virus, one that was intended to cure cancer, but mutated.
The scenes of an almost deserted NYC were very vivid, especially (for me) the scenes around Grand Central Station, since I work in that neighborhood 3 days a week. And with the swine flu - sorry, H1N1 virus - closing NYC schools, it seems particularly timely. The movie does refer to 2009 as the start of the virus, after all.
I still hate Bob Marley music, though. And all these visions of disaster are starting to wear on me. I've got to find a way to lighten this process up.
RATING: 7 out of 10 blood vials
The Omega Man
Day 148 - 5/28/09 - Movie #148
BEFORE: Considering the way yesterday's movie ended, I should re-watch "Soylent Green" - except that it's a film with a notable surprise in the plot, and once you know it, there's little point in watching it again. I won't spoil it, but if you haven't seen it and you hunger to know more, I suggest you feast your eyes on it, maybe while you're having some friends over for dinner - even though the film may be an acquired taste.
Instead I'll watch this other Charlton Heston film - I've now got to amend my rule about previously-seen movies, since I'm breaking it for the 4th time. It's OK for me to watch a film I've seen before if I last watched it as a kid (18 or under), and if I don't remember One Darned Thing about it. The other reason to watch "The Omega Man" is to compare it to tomorrow night's film, which is based on the same book - "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson.
THE PLOT: Robert Neville, a doctor, due to an experimental vaccine, is the only survivor of an apocalyptic war waged with biological weapons. The plague caused by the war has killed everyone else except for a few hundred deformed, nocturnal people.
AFTER: Ever wonder what it would be like to be the last person on Earth? Sure, it sounds great at first - you'd never have to do laundry, or hold down a job, and you could watch movies all day, and listen to your 8-tracks (that's right, 8-track tapes, since this movie is set in the dystopian future of 1977...) Of course, there's a downside - food would eventually be scarce, you'd probably end up talking to yourself, and oh, yeah, at night the irradiated mole men run rampant.
It's funny, people tend to remember Charlton Heston from his roles in "Ben-Hur" and "The Planet of the Apes", but in this film we see a shirtless, glistening Heston driving around L.A. in a red convertible, firing an automatic rifle. I'm guessing that's probably closer to what he was like in real life.
RATING: 6 out of 10 bonfires
BEFORE: Considering the way yesterday's movie ended, I should re-watch "Soylent Green" - except that it's a film with a notable surprise in the plot, and once you know it, there's little point in watching it again. I won't spoil it, but if you haven't seen it and you hunger to know more, I suggest you feast your eyes on it, maybe while you're having some friends over for dinner - even though the film may be an acquired taste.
Instead I'll watch this other Charlton Heston film - I've now got to amend my rule about previously-seen movies, since I'm breaking it for the 4th time. It's OK for me to watch a film I've seen before if I last watched it as a kid (18 or under), and if I don't remember One Darned Thing about it. The other reason to watch "The Omega Man" is to compare it to tomorrow night's film, which is based on the same book - "I Am Legend" by Richard Matheson.
THE PLOT: Robert Neville, a doctor, due to an experimental vaccine, is the only survivor of an apocalyptic war waged with biological weapons. The plague caused by the war has killed everyone else except for a few hundred deformed, nocturnal people.
AFTER: Ever wonder what it would be like to be the last person on Earth? Sure, it sounds great at first - you'd never have to do laundry, or hold down a job, and you could watch movies all day, and listen to your 8-tracks (that's right, 8-track tapes, since this movie is set in the dystopian future of 1977...) Of course, there's a downside - food would eventually be scarce, you'd probably end up talking to yourself, and oh, yeah, at night the irradiated mole men run rampant.
It's funny, people tend to remember Charlton Heston from his roles in "Ben-Hur" and "The Planet of the Apes", but in this film we see a shirtless, glistening Heston driving around L.A. in a red convertible, firing an automatic rifle. I'm guessing that's probably closer to what he was like in real life.
RATING: 6 out of 10 bonfires
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Boy and His Dog
Day 147 - 5/27/09 - Movie #147
BEFORE: OK, the bombs have (cinematically) fallen, and now I can deal with the aftermath. I tried to watch this movie when I was a kid, but I think it was a bit over my head - I'm willing to give it another shot now. Since I was a fan of the original "Miami Vice", and I went through my pastel t-shirt (with white sport jacket, of course) phase in the 80's, it's possible I just wanted to see the film because Don Johnson was in it. It's a post-WW4 story, based on a novel by Harlan Ellison, about a man roaming the wasteland with his telepathic dog, looking for women.
THE PLOT: A boy communicates telepathically with his dog as they scavenge for food and sex, and they stumble into an underground society where the old ways are preserved.
AFTER: It's a real challenge for an actor to interact with an animal, especially when the dog is supposed to be the brains of the team. However, what made "Mad Max" and "The Road Warrior" such good films is lacking here - namely, a strong goal (revenge, delivering a tanker truck). Searching the wasteland for chicks isn't as much of a purpose.
Things get creepy when Vic goes underground - literally - and finds a bunch of people in heavy make-up, living in a mock version of Topeka, Kansas, complete with state fairs and marching bands. There's a twist ending that I didn't pick up on when I was a kid, which shows how far a real dog lover would go for his pet (or master, in this case...) This is why a woman should never say to a man, "It's me or the dog..." because she might not like the answer!
RATING: 5 out of 10 cans of beets
BEFORE: OK, the bombs have (cinematically) fallen, and now I can deal with the aftermath. I tried to watch this movie when I was a kid, but I think it was a bit over my head - I'm willing to give it another shot now. Since I was a fan of the original "Miami Vice", and I went through my pastel t-shirt (with white sport jacket, of course) phase in the 80's, it's possible I just wanted to see the film because Don Johnson was in it. It's a post-WW4 story, based on a novel by Harlan Ellison, about a man roaming the wasteland with his telepathic dog, looking for women.
THE PLOT: A boy communicates telepathically with his dog as they scavenge for food and sex, and they stumble into an underground society where the old ways are preserved.
AFTER: It's a real challenge for an actor to interact with an animal, especially when the dog is supposed to be the brains of the team. However, what made "Mad Max" and "The Road Warrior" such good films is lacking here - namely, a strong goal (revenge, delivering a tanker truck). Searching the wasteland for chicks isn't as much of a purpose.
Things get creepy when Vic goes underground - literally - and finds a bunch of people in heavy make-up, living in a mock version of Topeka, Kansas, complete with state fairs and marching bands. There's a twist ending that I didn't pick up on when I was a kid, which shows how far a real dog lover would go for his pet (or master, in this case...) This is why a woman should never say to a man, "It's me or the dog..." because she might not like the answer!
RATING: 5 out of 10 cans of beets
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Fail-Safe
Day 146 - 5/26/09 - Movie #146
BEFORE: Since "Armageddon" made reference to it (with Steve Buscemi jumping on the warhead and yelling "Yippie-Ki-Yay!"), I could have watched "Dr. Strangelove" next, but I have seen it before, and I've already bent my own rules on watching previously-viewed films twice so far. Instead I'll watch this dramatized account of how America's nuclear defense system worked (or could fail to work) in 1964. This movie had the bad fortune to be released just a few months after Kubrick's dark comedy, so audiences tended to not take it seriously.
Even though it's a very serious subject, there are a number of "comic" actors who appear in small roles, including Walter Matthau, Larry Hagman, Sorrell Booke (the original Boss Hogg) and even our old pal, Dom DeLuise. Plus Henry Fonda plays the President (as he did in "Meteor") - Henry Fonda should always play the President.
THE PLOT: American planes are sent to deliver a nuclear attack on Moscow, but it's a mistake due to an electrical malfunction. Can all-out war be averted?
AFTER: While not entertaining per se, this film is very informative as a snapshot of what the military procedures and prevailing attitudes were during the Cold War. We see the policy of mutually assured destruction, and the perception of the USSR as the "Evil Empire", but the film also humanizes the Soviets, and portrays them as cautious in response to a possible attack. I'm surprised that the fictional Russians give the U.S. every possible benefit of the doubt.
RATING: 4 out of 10 warheads
Stay tuned this week, I've got a front-row seat for the End of the World...
BEFORE: Since "Armageddon" made reference to it (with Steve Buscemi jumping on the warhead and yelling "Yippie-Ki-Yay!"), I could have watched "Dr. Strangelove" next, but I have seen it before, and I've already bent my own rules on watching previously-viewed films twice so far. Instead I'll watch this dramatized account of how America's nuclear defense system worked (or could fail to work) in 1964. This movie had the bad fortune to be released just a few months after Kubrick's dark comedy, so audiences tended to not take it seriously.
Even though it's a very serious subject, there are a number of "comic" actors who appear in small roles, including Walter Matthau, Larry Hagman, Sorrell Booke (the original Boss Hogg) and even our old pal, Dom DeLuise. Plus Henry Fonda plays the President (as he did in "Meteor") - Henry Fonda should always play the President.
THE PLOT: American planes are sent to deliver a nuclear attack on Moscow, but it's a mistake due to an electrical malfunction. Can all-out war be averted?
AFTER: While not entertaining per se, this film is very informative as a snapshot of what the military procedures and prevailing attitudes were during the Cold War. We see the policy of mutually assured destruction, and the perception of the USSR as the "Evil Empire", but the film also humanizes the Soviets, and portrays them as cautious in response to a possible attack. I'm surprised that the fictional Russians give the U.S. every possible benefit of the doubt.
RATING: 4 out of 10 warheads
Stay tuned this week, I've got a front-row seat for the End of the World...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Armageddon
Day 145 - 5/25/09 - Movie #145
BEFORE: Today is Memorial Day, so it's a good time to pause and reflect on those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service of others - protecting us from giant asteroids. Yes, the alien invasion may be over, but our planet is still in cinematic jeopardy. I got lucky with this one, I just put it on my want list last week after watching "Meteor", and one of the pay channels happened to be running it.
THE PLOT: When an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for Earth, the world's best deep-core drilling team is sent to nuke the rock from the inside.
AFTER: It often happens that two Hollywood studios put out similar films around the same time - "Antz" and "A Bug's Life", "Red Planet" and "Mission to Mars", "Volcano" and "Dante's Peak". In 1998 we had 2 giant asteroid films, "Armageddon" and "Deep Impact" in theatres, and I opted for "Deep Impact". "Armageddon" seemed like the flashier, noisier, more hyped-up, star-studded and melodromatic (and less scientifically-accurate) of the two, so I avoided it.
The film is all those things and more, but it's also action-packed and very entertaining, like a roller-coaster that knocks you around, but also gives you the adrenaline rush. Each of the ragtag misfits, from Steve Buscemi to William Fichtner to Michael Clarke Duncan, gets a chance to be heroic, and it comes down to a testosterone match between Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis to see who can be more macho in the end. I wish they had given Liv Tyler something to do besides sit in the control room and be weepy, though.
That Michael Bay sure loves to blow stuff up, don't he? I do wonder if the space shuttle could actually travel to the moon, though - I'm guessing that's a Hollywood invention.
RATING: 8 out of 10 drill-bits
BEFORE: Today is Memorial Day, so it's a good time to pause and reflect on those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service of others - protecting us from giant asteroids. Yes, the alien invasion may be over, but our planet is still in cinematic jeopardy. I got lucky with this one, I just put it on my want list last week after watching "Meteor", and one of the pay channels happened to be running it.
THE PLOT: When an asteroid the size of Texas is headed for Earth, the world's best deep-core drilling team is sent to nuke the rock from the inside.
AFTER: It often happens that two Hollywood studios put out similar films around the same time - "Antz" and "A Bug's Life", "Red Planet" and "Mission to Mars", "Volcano" and "Dante's Peak". In 1998 we had 2 giant asteroid films, "Armageddon" and "Deep Impact" in theatres, and I opted for "Deep Impact". "Armageddon" seemed like the flashier, noisier, more hyped-up, star-studded and melodromatic (and less scientifically-accurate) of the two, so I avoided it.
The film is all those things and more, but it's also action-packed and very entertaining, like a roller-coaster that knocks you around, but also gives you the adrenaline rush. Each of the ragtag misfits, from Steve Buscemi to William Fichtner to Michael Clarke Duncan, gets a chance to be heroic, and it comes down to a testosterone match between Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis to see who can be more macho in the end. I wish they had given Liv Tyler something to do besides sit in the control room and be weepy, though.
That Michael Bay sure loves to blow stuff up, don't he? I do wonder if the space shuttle could actually travel to the moon, though - I'm guessing that's a Hollywood invention.
RATING: 8 out of 10 drill-bits
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai
Day 144 - 5/24/09 - Movie 144
BEFORE: I have a strange vendetta against this film - I've never watched it, but I read the comic-book adaptation when I was a teen, and I found it so weird and so hard to understand, I never got around to seeing the actual film. So I want to find out if it's as inaccessible as I think, then I can cross it off my list and never speak of it again.
THE PLOT: Buckaroo Banzai has perfected the oscillation overthruster, which allows him to travel through solid matter by using the eighth dimension. The Red Lectroids from Planet 10 are after this device for their own evil ends, and it's up to Buckaroo and his band and crime-fighting team The Hong Kong Cavaliers to stop them.
AFTER: Nope, it's as bad as I thought. The storyline is ridiculous, even by sci-fi standards. (Can a movie make negative sense?) This film should appear on the list of the worst films ever made.
The point I want to stress, though, is that it's impossible to MAKE the public like a movie, or a TV, or a recording artist (as the producers of American Idol recently found out...). All you can do is make the best movie, or TV show, or CD you can, and hope for the best.
They tried way too hard to make this Buckaroo Banzai character cool, and it just doesn't work that way. The best sci-fi characters are very simple, even in complex stories. Han Solo is a rogue smuggler, Mr. Spock is a logical science officer. But a brain surgeon/rock star/stunt driver/experimental physicist who can see disguised aliens? You lost me already...
Weird coincidence - this movie makes an internal reference to my last movie "The War of the Worlds", or at least to the 1938 Orson Welles radio broadcast of that story.
RATING: 1 out of 10 Johns
That's it for the "Alien Invasion" films - since I'm not watching "Battlefield Earth" again...I hope our future alien overlords will feel that I gave them a fair judgment, and all I ask is that they offer me the same.
BEFORE: I have a strange vendetta against this film - I've never watched it, but I read the comic-book adaptation when I was a teen, and I found it so weird and so hard to understand, I never got around to seeing the actual film. So I want to find out if it's as inaccessible as I think, then I can cross it off my list and never speak of it again.
THE PLOT: Buckaroo Banzai has perfected the oscillation overthruster, which allows him to travel through solid matter by using the eighth dimension. The Red Lectroids from Planet 10 are after this device for their own evil ends, and it's up to Buckaroo and his band and crime-fighting team The Hong Kong Cavaliers to stop them.
AFTER: Nope, it's as bad as I thought. The storyline is ridiculous, even by sci-fi standards. (Can a movie make negative sense?) This film should appear on the list of the worst films ever made.
The point I want to stress, though, is that it's impossible to MAKE the public like a movie, or a TV, or a recording artist (as the producers of American Idol recently found out...). All you can do is make the best movie, or TV show, or CD you can, and hope for the best.
They tried way too hard to make this Buckaroo Banzai character cool, and it just doesn't work that way. The best sci-fi characters are very simple, even in complex stories. Han Solo is a rogue smuggler, Mr. Spock is a logical science officer. But a brain surgeon/rock star/stunt driver/experimental physicist who can see disguised aliens? You lost me already...
Weird coincidence - this movie makes an internal reference to my last movie "The War of the Worlds", or at least to the 1938 Orson Welles radio broadcast of that story.
RATING: 1 out of 10 Johns
That's it for the "Alien Invasion" films - since I'm not watching "Battlefield Earth" again...I hope our future alien overlords will feel that I gave them a fair judgment, and all I ask is that they offer me the same.
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