All the Right Moves

Year 2, Day 352 - 12/18/10 - Movie #717

BEFORE: Another office Christmas party last night, so I got home late again, and quite a bit tipsy again. Well, it is the merriest season of all... but I think I can kick off my football chain before turning in.

THE PLOT: A high school footballer desperate for a scholarship and his headstrong coach clash in a dying Pennsylvania steel town.

AFTER: I didn't really understand the mechanics of the jet-flying in "Top Gun", and unfortunately I'm just as clueless about the mechanics of the game of football. So I wasn't sure about the big game seen in this film - did Tom Cruise's character fail to listen to his coach, or did the coach make a crucial error in judgment? Something about not converting a safety - is that a thing? There seems to be a lot of debate online about this - taking the pass interference penalty, which caused a repeat of the first down, but it's mostly Greek to me.

What is important is what comes after the game, when Cruise's character sees his college prospects dwindle after he's cut from the team. And he starts to learn that life becomes a combination of getting what you want, and learning to want what you get.

But, thanks to Hollywood's patented 6-act structure, things always look darkest right before the dawn, which comes in Act 6. So, what's the take-away here, besides the fact that people who can throw and catch a football well have an easier time getting into college? The fact that you can mouth off to your coach, throw garbage at his house, mouth off to him AGAIN, and everything will still be OK at the end of the day?

This kid's attitude sucked - and it would be nice if his negative actions had lasting consequences. But nope! Give that boy a scholarship! He's obviously entitled...

Also starring Lea Thompson, Craig T. Nelson (last seen in "Where the Buffalo Roam"), Gary Graham (last seen in "Man Trouble", but more famous for "Alien Nation" and "Star Trek: Enterprise"), and Christopher Penn (last seen in "Mobsters")

RATING: 4 out of 10 jockstraps

Top Gun

Year 2, Day 351 - 12/17/10 - Movie #716

BEFORE: I went to a Christmas party at an editorial company last night - something I did a lot of when I was in my 20's. I'd get myself on the guest list for a company having a promotional event - free food, free booze - and that would be a night where I didn't have to cook or buy dinner. So last night I drank like a freelancer -

BUT I was working so much in the late 80's and early 90's, I missed films like this one - how the heck did I go 25 years without seeing this film? Hasn't everyone in the world seen this movie?

THE PLOT: The macho students of an elite US Flying school for advanced fighter pilots compete to be best in the class, and one romances the teacher.

AFTER: Tom Cruise, of course, carries over from last night's film - and this wraps up the war/soldiers chain. I suppose this was a viable experience - but I didn't understand half of the stuff that took place in the air, the dogfights (and mock dogfights) between the jets flying around.

Also, I was confused - why do navy pilots need to go BACK to flight school? Aren't they already, you know, pilots? They didn't learn about these special flying techniques when they were first learning how to fly a plane? This seemed a little contrived to me.

Also - Tom Cruise's character uses the code-name "Maverick". So why is everyone surprised when he doesn't play by the rules? Isn't that, by definition, what a maverick does? I would expect nothing less from a maverick.

NITPICK POINT #1: Admittedly, I'm not an expert on military techniques - but what was the point of having a co-pilot in each plane? Were they the navigators, rear gunners, or what? They never seemed to do much of anything, so I'm left wondering what their true purpose was.

NITPICK POINT #2: As in "The Hurt Locker", there was a lot of dramatic removal of headgear/facemasks in this film. Now, I realize that we can't really see a pilot's face while he's wearing his mask - and it looks GREAT when they rip it off at the right moment - but isn't that their main air supply when they're flying at high altitude? Aren't they at risk of suffocating, after ripping off their face-gear?

NITPICK POINT #3: Wouldn't you know, 5 minutes after graduating from the "Top Gun" flight school, an international incident arises in the Indian Ocean that can ONLY be solved by 3 pilots who have JUST finished their training. What are the odds of that? Couldn't this situation have been handled by, say, last semester's graduates?

But, as I learned with "Inglourious Basterds", it's possible for a film to be exciting and interesting, and still completely ridiculous and unbelievable.

Oddly, I do have a connection to this film, despite never having seen it - the land-based scenes were shot in San Diego, a city that I visit every July for Comic-Con. The first year I was there, I went on a trolley tour that pointed out some of the locations shown in this film. The scenes in the bar (where the pilots sang "Great Balls Of Fire") were shot at San Diego's Kansas City BBQ restaurant, which I make sure to visit every year. The restaurant is proud of its heritage, in addition to a big sign that lays claim to being the location of the "Top Gun Sleazy Bar Scene", they amassed a good collection of "Top Gun" memorabilia over the years - but they had a big fire there in 2008, doing literally dozens of dollars worth of damage. I wasn't able to eat my annual meal there in 2008, but fortunately they re-built and re-decorated, so it once again looks exactly like it does in this film. Great food is served there...I always love to unwind there after a long day at Comic-Con.

Also starring Kelly McGillis (last seen in "The Babe"), Val Kilmer (last seen in "Heat"), Anthony Edwards (last seen in "The Sure Thing"), Tom Skerritt (last seen in "The Dead Zone"), Tim Robbins (last seen in "The Hudsucker Proxy"), Meg Ryan (last seen in "Armed and Dangerous"), and character actors Michael Ironside (last seen in "The Falcon and the Snowman") and James Tolkan (also last seen in "Armed and Dangerous").

RATING: 4 out of 10 fly-bys

Born on the Fourth of July

Year 2, Day 350 - 12/16/10 - Movie #715

BEFORE: Oh, sure, I could have saved this for July 4, or even Veteran's Day, but I started the war-film chain with Tom Cruise ("Lions for Lambs") so I might as well end the chain with Tom Cruise.

THE PLOT: The biography of Ron Kovic - paralyzed in the Vietnam war, he becomes an anti-war and pro-human rights political activist after feeling betrayed by the country he fought for.

AFTER: Ach, this was a tough one to watch, as Kovic endured not just the horror of war, but the horror of being treated in a Bronx V.A. hospital. It's almost hard to determine which situation was worse. I sort of gave our soldiers short shrift by choosing "Manchurian Candidate" as a Veteran's Day film - this would have been much more appropriate. Let this serve as a reminder, going into the holiday season, that the people who have sacrificed, deserve proper care and our gratitude.

That said, it's easy to draw the connections between Vietnam, as portrayed in this film, and our current situation in the Middle East. Wounded soldiers here complain about being sold a "false bill of goods" about the war, and parents wonder why their sons are being sent to the other side of the globe to die - which sounds all too familiar. And it makes me wonder why the later scenes of 1970 war protests are not being echoed more frequently in our streets today.

This was made a few short years after "Platoon", also directed by Oliver Stone, and features appearances by several of the same actors (11 in fact, including Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe, John C. McGinley) but it's really Cruise's movie. And an interesting character study as we watch Kovic go from idealistic teen to jittery soldier to defiant patient to angry protester.

There's no question that Kovic got a raw deal, but I'm forced to question whether it all went down so melodramatically - or whether details were added so that his story could be more of an idealized story, representing the plight of many Vietnam vets. Kudos for focusing on the individual, who as a microcosm represents a larger situation.

Also starring Willem Dafoe (last seen in "Clear and Present Danger"), Tom Berenger (last seen in "Training Day"), Kyra Sedgwick (last seen in "Phenomenon"), Frank Whaley (last seen in "Ironweed"), and a ton of cameos: Tom Sizemore (last seen in "Black Hawk Down"), John C. McGinley (last seen in "Talk Radio"), Stephen Baldwin, Billy Baldwin, Daniel Baldwin (that's gotta be a rarity, 3 Baldwins in one film), Mike Starr (last seen in "Blood and Wine"), James LeGros, Bob Gunton, Edie Brickell, Lili Taylor (last seen in "Public Enemies"), Holly Marie Combs, Wayne Knight, Vivica A. Fox.

RATING: 6 out of 10 shots of mezcal

Valkyrie

Year 2, Day 349 - 12/15/10 - Movie #714

BEFORE: Another day, another dollar, another plot to kill Hitler...

THE PLOT: Based on actual events, a plot to assassinate Hitler is unfurled during the height of WWII.

AFTER: This is an action film with, in my opinion, an appalling lack of action - an inaction movie? Instead the film consists mostly of meetings and phone calls, and people signing paperwork. Heady stuff...

The concept here is that a few ambitious German officers saw that World War II was about to end poorly for the Germans, so they figured they would hasten the end of the war by taking Hitler out of the picture. In actuality there were 15 attempts on Hitler's life, so I don't know what made this bunch think they'd succeed where 14 other plots had failed - I guess they believed that old German expression, you know, "The fifteenth time's the charm."

This film also faced an uphill battle by trying to make Nazis sympathetic - I think they tried to codify it by separating "Nazis" from "Germans", after all not all Germans were Nazis at the time, but come on, it was the dominant government party.
(Spoiler alert - Hitler wasn't assassinated...)

Oh, if only the excitement and flair of "Inglourious Basterds" could have somehow been combined with the historical accuracy and demeanor of "Valkyrie" - but that's impossible, right? A boy can dream, though...

Starring Tom Cruise (last seen in "Lions for Lambs"), Kenneth Branagh (last seen in "Wild Wild West"), Bill Nighy (last seen in "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans"), Tom Wilkinson (last seen in "Black Knight"), Terence Stamp (last seen in "The Company of Wolves"), and Eddie Izzard (last seen in "All the Queen's Men").

RATING: 5 out of 10 firing squads

Inglourious Basterds

Year 2, Day 348 - 12/14/10 - Movie #713

BEFORE: Another mission behind enemy lines during World War II - I've heard both good and bad reviews of this one, but I'm holding out hope. I've found that in my chains some films are bricks and some films are mortar, and I'm hoping this is one of the solid bricks.

THE PLOT: In Nazi-occupied France, a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by brutally killing Nazis.

AFTER: I should be careful what I wish for - I wanted to hear more German spoken, and the vast majority of this film is in German (and French, and Italian) with subtitles. Oh, well, it was still good to hear some more German spoken...but is that why this film was so polarizing? People seem to either love this film, or hate it.

If I had any problem with the film, it was with the length - does any film, other than "Titanic" and "Lord of the Rings", need to be over 2 1/2 hours long? Especially when every key fact in the film is stated twice (at least) - so it took much too long for each plot point to happen.

In many ways, this is like a "Pulp Fiction" set back in WW2 - in that it displays a number of tense situations, shootouts and standoffs that may (or may not) add up to a coherent whole, with some of the characters overlapping and intersecting, and others not.

And Tarantino's been around for a while now - shouldn't he be growing as a director, instead of just re-making "Pulp Fiction"? And shouldn't he have abandoned amateurish moves, like that silly spin-the-camera-around-the-actors thing? There are just a few too many filmmaker-based inside references, perhaps.

The good news is, this is a big, bold movie that doesn't hold back. The bad news is, this is a big, bold movie, and the blatant use of titles written on the screen, combined with its complete unrealisticness, makes this sort of a live-action cartoon. Or revisionist history, I'm not sure which.

NITPICK POINT: A David Bowie song in a World War 2 film? Seems a little out of place...this isn't "Moulin Rouge", for God's sake.

Starring Brad Pitt (last seen in "Spy Game"), Christoph Waitz, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger (last seen in "National Treasure: Book of Secrets"), B.J. Novak (Ryan from "The Office"), Samm Levine (from "Freaks and Geeks") and a cameo by Mike Myers and the voices of Harvey Keitel (last seen in "Rising Sun") and Samuel L. Jackson (last seen in "Patriot Games").

RATING: 7 out of 10 glasses of schnapps

All the Queen's Men

Year 2, Day 347 - 12/13/10 - Movie #712

BEFORE: Still in World War II tonight, perhaps something of a war comedy tonight. I got caught up on episodes of "The Amazing Race" just in time to watch the finale and learn who won before reading any spoilers tomorrow. Plus I got some more internet shopping done this weekend, and got our Christmas lights up - gotta stay competitive with the other houses on the block. Just a few more Christmas cards to send out, then it's just wrapping presents and packing.

THE PLOT: A mismatched team of British Special Services agents led by an American must infiltrate, in disguise, a female-run Enigma factory in Berlin and bring back the decoding device that will end the war.

AFTER: I'm not buying Matt LeBlanc (or some of the other team members) dressed in drag. But he doesn't have to fool me, his character just has to fool the Nazis, and fortunately some German women tend to be on the burly side, plus they didn't usually shave their armpits back then... But unfortunately for the spies in question, some of the German men actually are attracted to the burly, Teutonic type.

Then you've got Eddie Izzard (last seen in "The Avengers"), who seems right at home in drag - of course the actor has done several stand-up shows (available on DVD, and well worth checking out) in which he jokes about being a transvestite - an action transvestite, even. Well, he lives up to that dream here, sort of resembling a rougher Susan Sarandon type when in full drag (only with bigger ta-tas).

Izzard's character is the most interesting, because he's an ex-soldier and drag performer who's openly bi-sexual, and who lived in Berlin for years - Berlin in the 1930's being described as something like San Francisco in the 1960's, or Greenwich Village in the 1980's.

And while the U.S. military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy is being disputed, this retro movie couldn't be more timely. So many people - even reporters - seem to think that the issue in question is whether gay men and women should be allowed to serve in the military. Which is missing the point - obviously, they're already there, and have been all along - and the only question is whether they're entitled to the same freedoms as the people they're fighting for. (Geez, when you put it that way, it should be a no-brainer, right?)

I rather enjoyed this film - it was a bit like "To Be Or Not To Be" crossed with "Some Like It Hot", with a bit of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and a dash of "Benny Hill" mixed in. And I enjoyed hearing German spoken - I really should find some more movies in German, I do find it to be a beautiful language, especially the parts I understand.

Also starring James Cosmo, David Birkin, Nicolette Krebitz, Edward Fox (last seen in "Force 10 From Navarone"), and Udo Kier.

RATING: 7 out of 10 parachutes

Mother Night

Year 2, Day 346 - 12/12/10 - Movie #711

BEFORE: I think I might have sped through this one once, or looked at just pieces of it, because the whole film isn't in my brain as a coherent whole. It doesn't help that the main character also appeared in "Slaughterhouse Five", one of my favorite films, based on a book by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., one of my favorite authors. Vonnegut was always intermingling his books, with recurring characters weaving their way through different stories. The character in question is Howard Campbell, an ex-American who becomes part of the Nazi propaganda machine.

THE PLOT: An American spy behind the lines during WWII serves as a Nazi propagandist, a role he cannot escape in his future life as he can never reveal his real role in the war.

AFTER: Ah, so Campbell was really working for the American government the whole time (or was he?). His character's appearance in "Slaughterhouse Five" now makes a lot more sense (I think...)

The film opens and closes with Bing Crosby's recording of "White Christmas" - so watching this just couldn't be more timely.

The story is told in flashback, as Campbell sits in an Israeli prison, awaiting trial for war crimes. His story reveals that he was a double-agent, working for the Nazis but also secretly broadcasting information about Nazi Germany to the U.S. His character is a bit like a Nazi Rush Limbaugh (or is that redundant?), or a Tokyo Rose if you will, and after the war he relocates to New York City - which he calls "purgatory" and tries to forget his past.

But the past has a funny way of catching up with him, and after one of those great only-in-New York coincidences, his past is revealed, and he's treated as a hero by some radical U.S. fringe political grounds, and reviled by Holocaust survivors at the same time. There are further twists I don't want to reveal here -

But Campbell seems like he's used as a pawn by whatever group he happens to be with - the Nazis, the Russians, the CIA. I guess once you take away a man's country, his politics, his livelihood and his love, what's left is an empty shell that can be filled with whatever ideology you want.

No one captured the absolute absurdity of war, politics, and the human condition better than Vonnegut, in my opinion, and that shines through here. Things don't tend to add up to a coherent whole, but in a way that's a point. Look for a cameo by Vonnegut himself, seen in a crowd on the street late in the film.

Starring Nick Nolte (last seen in "Q&A"), Sheryl Lee (with the fakest German accent since Teri Garr in "Young Frankenstein"), Alan Arkin (last seen in "Firewall"), John Goodman (last seen in "The Hudsucker Proxy"), with cameos from Arye Gross, Kirsten Dunst (last seen in "How to Lose Friends & Alienate People"), Zach Grenier (seen last night in "Rescue Dawn"), David Strathairn (last seen in "The Bourne Ultimatum") and Henry Gibson as the voice of Adolf Eichmann.

RATING: 6 out of 10 typewriter ribbons