Friday, April 3, 2009

Grand Canyon

Day 90 - 3/31/09 - Movie #87

BEFORE: I could have kept the soap opera theme going with "Tootsie", which would have then led to me watching "Mrs. Doubtfire" - but I do think I've seen "Tootsie" before, so I'd rather focus in another direction instead. I'll pick another Kevin Kline film - this will be my third Kline film (and third Danny Glover film) so far this year.

THE PLOT: Six residents from different backgrounds whose lives intertwine in modern-day Los Angeles. At the center of the film is the unlikely friendship of two men from different races and classes brought together when one finds himself in jeopardy in the other's rough neighborhood.

AFTER: A social-commentary snapshot of L.A. in the early 90's - touching on racism, gang violence, homelessness, abandoned babies - it's a lot to pack into one movie. Especially with just 5 or 6 main characters - it's like a mini "Short Cuts". Can a film fix the world? Should it try to?
The film sort of asks this question by showing people trying to help each other out - are they really helping, or is the road just paved with good intentions? There are some other big questions asked here - do random accidents have larger meanings? Are luck and fate real or imagined? What impact do we have on the people we encounter, and how hard should we try to help them? In doing so, do we enforce our values on them?
Steve Martin plays a filmmaker who gets shot, then decides to stop making violent movies - does his character represent Lawrence Kasdan, director of this film? Did he have some kind of similar epiphany, which led to making this very film?

RATING: 5 out of 10 helicopters

Soapdish

Day 89 - 3/30/09 - Movie #86

BEFORE: I put this onto a DVD with "Dreamgirls" - 2 movies about behind-the-scenes relationships - this one on the set of a soap opera, starring Sally Field and Kevin Kline. I think one of my friends recommended this film, but I forget who...

THE PLOT: An ambitious TV soap actress connives with her producer to scuttle the career of the show's long-time star, but nothing works as they plan.

AFTER: Kevin Kline, great as usual. Sally Field? A little over-the-top, but the advantage with actors playing soap-opera actors is, it's OK to overact. The soap opera makes a great context for camera-hogging and scenery-chewing. The "real" relationships and drama between the actors turns out to be more interesting than the writers' plotlines for the show. BUT - would any soap ever do a live broadcast? And if they did, wouldn't the fans at home notice if the actors started calling each other by their real names? I'm just sayin'...

RATING: 5 out of 10 Daytime Emmys

Dreamgirls

Day 88 - 3/29/09 - Movie #85

BEFORE: Forgot about this one during "Dark Side of Fame" week - but to be fair, I was mostly watching films about REAL famous people, like Bobby Darin and Chuck Barris. But I guess this movie is a fictionalized story of the Supremes - so I guess it sort of qualifies.

THE PLOT: Based on the Broadway musical, a trio of black female soul singers cross over to the pop charts in the early 1960's.

AFTER: I'm not a big fan of Beyonce (or Diana Ross, for that matter), but I do watch the "American Idol", so though I'm not squarely in this film's target audience, I sort of see where it's coming from. Idol is all about singers having the "big moment", when the music swells, and the singer BELTS, and this film is full of those moments. For Jennifer Hudson, anyway. There's no question she's got pipes, but did she deserve an Oscar? I guess the film's dramatic moments were intertwined with the song crescendos, so it's impossible to separate the two. But Eddie Murphy sang great and had his moments, so where's his Oscar? What's a guy gotta do to break out of the comedy box? And then Alan Arkin won the Oscar for a performance in a comedy - Ouch!
This is a powerful film, no question - I know because it reached out of the TV and grabbed me and said "Look how powerful I am!" But it's like using a sledgehammer to drive in a small nail - a lot of power-singing, tense moments, and personal betrayals. Is it overkill? Again, I'm not as comfortable rating this as I would be giving my opinion on a sci-fi film or a spoof comedy -

RATING: I can see how some people would give this an 8 or 9, but for me personally, my rating is 5 out of 10 gold records.

21

Day 87 - 3/28/09 - Movie #84

BEFORE: Vegas Week rolls on with this story of the MIT students who counted cards at blackjack. A few years ago, I read "Bringing Down the House", the book this was based on. Plus I saw "Breaking Vegas", the documentary on the History Channel - so I do know a bit about the story already.

THE PLOT: The fact-based story about six MIT students who were trained to become experts in card counting and subsequently took Vegas casinos for millions in winnings.

AFTER: I was really looking forward to this film, but I'm afraid that the movie just didn't do the book justice - it oversimplified the card-counting process, and also lessened the number of people on the MIT team - some Hollywood executive probably thought that the average movie-goer wouldn't "get" the film if it were too complicated or had too many characters. The real MIT team had about a dozen spotters, not just 3, so they could cover more tables. They also actively recruited more players, had several teams going at once, and also visited Mississippi riverboat and Native American casinos across the country.
There were some weird anomalies in the film - like showing MIT students playing basketball (I doubt there's even a gym at MIT) or Fishburne's character offering to fix Ben's college transcript - HUH? How does a casino security guy have any juice at a Massachusetts university?
I also didn't care for Jim Sturgess, his acting was just horrible. I watched "Across the Universe" late last year, so whenever I saw him walking in slo-mo through a casino, I expected him to sing "Good Day Sunshine" or "Dear Prudence".

RATING: It would have been an 8, but I'm taking 2 off the count for being LESS exciting than the book. So 6 out of 10 decks

Vegas Vacation

Day 86 - 3/27/09 - Movie #83

BEFORE: Vegas week continues - I've seen the first two "Vacation" films, but not the others. I wonder why "National Lampoon" is missing from the title - was there some kind of falling-out or legal battle?

THE PLOT: The Griswold clan is back and this time Clark makes another one of his spirited attempts to plan the perfect family vacation, this time to the glittering casinos and glitzy attractions of Las Vegas.

AFTER: Many theories have been proposed to explain the variable ages of the Griswold children - why they're older in one movie, and younger in the next. I'll leave that alone, but I'll propose a new angle: What if Randy Quaid's character is just a figment of Clark Griswold's imagination? Adds an air of "Fight Club" to the movie, doesn't it? Or maybe it's Christie Brinkley - she's not real, and Clark has some kind of brain tumor? Anyway, good appearances by Sid Caesar, and Wallace Shawn as a taunting blackjack dealer.

RATING: 4 out of 10 slot-machines

The Cooler

Day 85 - 3/26/09 - Movie #82

BEFORE: Well, the last 2 movies ended in Las Vegas, so while we're here, let's take a look around. Love Alec Baldwin (usually) and William H. Macy, so this could be good.

THE PLOT: In an old school Las Vegas casino, its top gambling jinx breaks his curse when he falls in love, much to his boss' consternation.

AFTER: It's an interesting exploration of "luck" as a concept - Macy plays a guy who's got plenty of luck, all of it bad. But he puts that to use, shutting down high-rollers in a casino. Macy tends to play two types of characters really well - know-it-all stuffed shirts (like in "State and Main") and sad sack losers (like in "Fargo"). I think, like Robin Williams, you can tell the type of role by the facial hair - if Macy's got no mustache, his character is a sad-sack loser.
The movie makes full use of Macy's droopiness, however once he falls in love and his luck changes, his job and life are in jeopardy. Essay question - do people have success because they are lucky, or do people make their own luck by living honorably and working hard? The film leaves this unanswered (substitute "karma" for "luck" and the plot works just as well...)
Essay question #2 - would the film have worked as well if Baldwin and Macy had switched roles? Not a chance.

RATING: 7 out of 10 broken kneecaps

Beyond the Sea

Day 84 - 3/25/09 - Movie #81

BEFORE: I'll keep working this theme - the darker side of show biz. This one keeps popping up on the IFC channel, so I'll give it a whirl. I heard Kevin Spacey did his own singing while playing Bobby Darin in this film - unlike a certain other actor whose name rhymes with Shay Shiotta...

THE PLOT: A swooning study of "Mack the Knife" singer Bobby Darin, his rise to fame, and his relationship with his wife Sandra Dee.

AFTER: No, that Kevin Spacey certainly does not do things half way. In addition to the singing and dancing, he plays Darin warts-and-all, or is that receding hairline-and-all? From Darin's quest for fame, to his quest for love, and then quest for meaning in his life - it's rare to see a famous person portrayed during his down times, his periods of disillusionment or cultural irrelevance. I'm reminded of Patton Oswalt's joke about "The Passion of the Christ" - he said it was like making a film about Einstein, but only focusing on the week where he had a really bad stomach flu, and was sitting on the toilet a lot.
There are some unconventional storytelling methods used here, like having the older Bobby Darin interact with the actor playing him as a young boy. But then, Darin led a fairly unconventional life...

RATING: 7 out of 10 gold records

The Rat Pack

Day 83 - 3/24/09 - Movie # 80

BEFORE: I'll continue "Dark Side of Fame" week with this HBO-produced bio about Frank Sinatra and friends in the early 1960's.

THE PLOT: Controversial account of the exploits of the Rat Pack (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop). The film focuses on their ties to organized crime, to the Kennedy clan, and on their often turbulent personal lives.

AFTER: Like the Peter Sellers biopic, this film's success hinges greatly on the casting. Ray Liotta as Sinatra and Joe Mantegna as Dean Martin are solid - but Don Cheadle is simply brilliant as Sammy Davis Jr. And William "CSI" Petersen as JFK? Inspired! The movie does a good job of portraying the political climate around the 1960 presidential election - civil rights, the mob, and JFK's affairs.

RATING: 7 out of 10 cocktails

The Radioland Murders

Day 82 - 3/23/09 - Movie #79

BEFORE: This is like the "lost" George Lucas film for me - after building up money and recognition from the Star Wars and Indiana Jones series, Lucasfilm decided to branch out in the 90's, with this murder mystery set in the Golden Age of radio.

THE PLOT: On one fateful evening in 1939, WBN, a fourth radio network, is making its nationwide debut--and is engulfed in chaos. As the curtain rises on the opening act, a mysterious voice interrupts the program and menacing events begin to unfold--leading the WBN team to realize that dead air is the least of their worries!

AFTER: This movie had such promise - it was filled with literally dozens of character actors, like Ned Beatty, Corbin Bernsen, Peter MacNichol, Steven Tobolowsky, Michael McKean, Jeffrey Tambor, Christopher Lloyd, etc. But unfortunately, everyone's talents were wasted, most of these actors weren't given anything to do except run around the studio frantically, and then get bumped off.
What really kills this movie is an overabundance of slapstick - really over-the-top physical hijinks that aren't subtle enough for a "Three Stooges" short. Does someone need to get hit with a door EVERY time one opens? Does someone need to run, slip and fall every 5 seconds? I've worked in this crazy business we call "show" long enough to know that things occasionally go wrong, but not everything! Would a radio show really start its broadcast if the scripts aren't written yet? Probably not, but then again, it seems like this movie was made without a script. Too much physical comedy, and suddenly its like an episode of "Perfect Strangers".

RATING: 2 out of 10 microphones - I would have given it a "1", but since this movie came out in 1994, there's a chance that its failure led to Lucasfilm getting back to making more Star Wars films.

Sunset Boulevard

Day 81 - 3/22/09 - Movie #78

BEFORE: More proof that fame is a bitch - screw "The Maltese Falcon", THIS is a classic movie. I think they made us watch this in film school, but that was so long ago, I forgot most of the details...

THE PLOT: A hack screenwriter writes a screenplay for a former silent-film star who has faded into Hollywood obscurity.

AFTER: It's great to see a film about filmmaking that just regards the whole process as a crock, as if Hollywood is a big house of cards, ready to collapse at any moment. Of course, this was set back in the day when no self-respecting man would let a woman pay his expenses, or earn more than he did. William Holden seems to have studied at the Humphrey Bogart school of monotone delivery, and Gloria Swanson grossly over-emotes, but since she plays an aging actress, it works.

RATING: 6 out of 10 close-ups.

The Life and Death of Peter Sellers

Day 80 - 3/21/09 - Movie #77

BEFORE: My exploration into the dark side of fame continues... I picked up all of the "Pink Panther" movies off cable last year - the old ones with Sellers, not the Steve Martin remake. They're not on my list because I watched them all as a kid - just probably not all the way through, or in the proper order. I do have a lot of respect for Sellers, who was a sort of acting chameleon, often playing multiple roles in each film! But I admit to knowing almost nothing about the man behind the characters.

THE PLOT: The story of the comic actor, who would later immortalize bumbling Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther series, a man whose personal life clashed with stardom, while he was an individual completely immersed in the characters he portrayed.

AFTER: Well, I wasn't too shocked that this film went with the "sad clown" theory on comedic actors - the notion that behind every comic actor, there's a neurotic screw-up in real life. But perhaps with Sellers, this rings true. He screwed up his marriages, was a bastard to deal with, and had a mommy fixation? Sounds believable... The most brilliant thing about this movie was the casting, and I rarely find this to be true. Who else but Geoffrey Rush could fill the shoes of Sellers, disappearing into a series of quirky characters like Clouseau? But also the supporting roles are extremely well cast - Charlize Theron as Britt Ekland, John Lithgow as Blake Edwards, and Stanley Tucci as Stanley Kubrick - brilliant! The movie then raises the bar by having Rush, as Sellers, also step into the personas of his wife, mother, father, and even Blake Edwards and Kubrick, to talk to the camera in a commentary/revisionist history of Sellers. Seeing Rush playing Sellers, playing Lithgow, playing Edwards? Surreal.

RATING: 8 out of 10 fake accents

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Day 79 - 3/20/09 - Movie #76

BEFORE: Let's continue with odd Hollywood bio/crime films. This movie is based on Chuck Barris' autobiography, in which he made some outrageous revelations. Sam Rockwell, who's good in any film I see him in, plays Barris.

THE PLOT: The story of a legendary showman's double life - television producer by day, CIA assassin by night. At the height of his TV career, Chuck Barris was recruited by the CIA and trained to become a covert operative. Or so Barris said.

AFTER: George Clooney directed this, and appears as Barris' CIA contact - great performances from Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts, Rutger Hauer, and Rockwell was fantastic. So, was Barris really a CIA agent, or was he insane, or on drugs? We'll never know for sure, and the movie is intentionally vague - maybe he just liked to disappear, or couldn't handle reality, or just made up cover stories to hide his wild behavior. Either way, it's intriguing, and the movie is well put together. The interviews with Jim Lange and Jaye P. Morgan add some insight - too bad we didn't hear from the man himself.

RATING: 7 out of 10 Amana refrigerators.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Black Dahlia

Day 78 - 3/19/09 - Movie #75

BEFORE: Let's stick with the theme of crime in 1940's Hollywood - it's a magical time when men all wore fedoras, women were all bombshells, and everyone smoked...return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear...

THE PLOT: Two policemen see their personal and professional lives fall apart in the wake of the "Black Dahlia" murder investigation.

AFTER: This sort of wasn't what I expected - I thought I'd get a murder mystery, cops tracking down a serial killer... Instead there were housing construction scandals, stag films, corrupt cops, and I think some meat loaf recipes thrown in... Josh Hartnett's character manages to boff both Hilary Swank and Scarlet Johansson and still look depressed. For me, the pieces never really came together, no one's motivations were entirely clear - this movie SO wanted to be "L.A. Confidential", but it just wasn't. Brian DePalma finds a way to overdo everything, and make it more complicated than it needs to be, without ever explaining anything. Was this some sort of homage to "The Maltese Falcon", minus the MacGuffin? And hookers all have hearts of gold, but lesbians are evil? Come on... And what's with all the face-slashing? I didn't get it...

RATING: 4 out of 10 Ming vases

Hollywoodland

Day 77 - 3/18/09 - Movie #74

BEFORE: Went to a beer dinner last night (St. Patrick's Day) so once the beer wore off, I was wide awake - perfect night to stay up and watch a film in the early a.m. hours.

THE PLOT: A detective examines the mysterious death of George Reeves, TV's Superman.

AFTER: I have to admit I don't know that much about George Reeves' suicide (or was it...murder!) Ben Affleck stars as Reeves - I guess if you can't play Superman in a movie, at least you can play a man acting the part. Adrien Brody was better than usual - playing a man down on his luck really seems to suit him. Though there are no solid answers about Reeves' death, the movie at least puts several good theories out there.

RATING: 7 out of 10 speeding bullets

Criminal

Day 76 - 3/17/09 - Movie #73

BEFORE: Happy St. Patrick's Day! I couldn't find a very Irish film on my list, so I picked a scam movie starring John C. Reilly. He's Irish, right?

THE PLOT: Two con artists try to swindle a currency collector by selling him a counterfeit copy of an extremely rare currency bill.

AFTER: This is another of those great, twisty, double-cross/triple-cross "Scam within a scam" flicks - where you're never sure just who's zoomin' who. And it's great when the scams turn out to be more complex than you thought. You want to go back and watch the film again, to see just how intricately people were set up. I can't say any more without spoiling the plot...

RATING: 7 out of 10 briefcases

Max

Day 75 - 3/16/09 - Movie #72

BEFORE: Now that I've owned up to being 3 days behind, the pressure's off - I can count this as a Monday morning movie, instead of a Sunday night movie, and I feel like I'm starting the day with a movie rather than ending it with one. I know, it's all semantics, but it feels good to stay up late and get my movie out of the way for the next day.

THE PLOT: A film studying the depiction of a friendship between an art dealer named Max Rothman and his student, Adolf Hitler.

AFTER: It's an interesting thought - what if Hitler's art career had taken off - would he not have gone into politics? Could he have been an energetic painter, instead of a firebrand statesman? John Cusack plays a Jewish art dealer that pities Hitler, the sad-sack WWI veteran, and tries to encourage his artistic endeavors. Noah Taylor plays a tortured-artist Hitler, which was probably tough to do. But since we know how history plays out, we know that the fate of his art career is sealed.

RATING: 5 out of 10 teddy bears

The Maltese Falcon

Day 74 - 3/15/09 - Movie #71

THE PLOT: A private detective takes on a case that involves him with three eccentric criminals, a gorgeous liar, and their quest for a priceless statuette.

AFTER: I hate to belittle a classic, but I'm not seeing why this movie is so great - it's a lot of talking and negotiating, and the action always happens off-screen. And Sam Spade doesn't go out to find the Falcon, someone brings it to his office! Where's the action? Am I missing something? This was boring as dirt! I guess maybe storytelling was different in the 1940's? Compare this to an Indiana Jones film, which is wall-to-wall action - Bogie just seems to want to talk Lorre and Greenstreet to death... I know this movie kicked off the whole detective/noir genre, but it's hardly the best example of what the genre can accomplish. And the portrayal of women - they're all either duplicitous bombshells, or hysterical widows...

RATING: 3 out of 10 cigarettes

The Royal Tenenbaums

Day 73 - 3/14/09 - Movie #70

BEFORE: Staying up late on Friday night/Saturday morning to watch this - this will complete my viewing of all of Wes Anderson's films.

THE PLOT: An estranged family of former child prodigies reunites when their father announces he has a terminal illness.

AFTER: Quirky, yes, but also heartwarming in its own way, seeing Gene Hackman's character tryinng to redeem himself and reconnect with his children. Definitely better than "Life Aquatic" but a notch below "Darjeeling Limited". Good performances from Ben Stiller and the Wilson Brothers, but Gwyneth Paltrow? Too moody...

RATING: 7 out of 10 spotted mice

The Brink's Job

Day 71+72 - 3/12 + 3/13/09 - Movie #69

BEFORE: Yes, it took me 2 days to watch this movie, so now I'm 3 movies behind schedule. I worked late on Thursday, I didn't get home until 11:30 pm, so my Thurs. movie stretched into Friday, but I fell asleep and had to finish the movie on Friday night, after Amy's goodbye party #2.

THE PLOT: Tony and his gang successfully rob one of Brink's security cars, taking $30,000. Surprisingly their coup doesn't make the press. Curious Tony checks out their headquarters and finds out that their security is low beyond belief. Now a really big coup is prepared...

AFTER: I remember my dad watching this movie when I was a kid. Of course, he loves stuff about Boston history. That was before I knew who Peter Boyle and Paul Sorvino were. This film is an interesting look at a real theft, and the Boston characters that pulled it off - of course, this was back before DNA testing and other forensic innovations - a simpler time, and ultimately, a fairly simple movie.

RATING: 5 out of 10 bags of cash

Safe Men

Day 70 - 3/11/09 - Movie #68

BEFORE: Went to Amy's goodbye dinner tonight at Hill Country BBQ, so I'm short on time but full of BBQ meat! Last night's movie was about a heist, so let's stick with that idea - this film's about safe-crackers...

THE PLOT: Two untalented singers are mistaken for a pair of major league safe crackers in Providence, Rhode Island. The two are pressed into service by the local hoodlums and quickly find themselves in conflict with their professional colleagues.

AFTER: OK, not what I was expecting -bumbling thieves, Jewish mobsters and neurotic safe-crackers - but a funny film nonetheless. Sam Rockwell is always good, IMHO, so is Paul Giamatti. And my bud Michael Showalter made a cameo -

RATING: 6 out of 10 Torahs

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The Ice Harvest

Day 69 - 3/10/09 - Movie #67

BEFORE: Let's keep the John Cusack theme going - this seems to be a relatively short film, which is great, since "Idol" had another 2-hour sing-off tonight...

THE PLOT: A shady lawyer attempts a Christmas Eve crime, hoping to swindle the local mob out of some money. But his partner, a strip club owner, might have different plans for the cash.

AFTER: I guess I was expecting something similar to "Grosse Pointe Blank", but this one wasn't as funny. But it was a good double-cross/triple-cross plot. Oliver Platt was quite amusing, but Billy Bob Thornton was mostly a blank - and it was hard to hate Randy Quaid's character, who everyone seemed to be afraid of, since he didn't show up until the end. Overall, just really depressing.

RATING: 5 out of 10 pasties

Grosse Pointe Blank

Day 68 - 3/9/09 - Movie #66

BEFORE: Still catching up on my TV before my daily movie - watched a "Heroes" episode from LAST Monday, and a "Law & Order" from January, I'm still way behind on "Smallville" and "SVU" too...but I can catch up after sweeps month is over. Let's keep the movies rolling with another film about hitmen!

THE PLOT: Martin Blank is a professional assassin. He is sent on a mission to a small Detroit suburb, Grosse Pointe, and, by coincidence, his ten-year high school reunion party is taking place there at the same time.

AFTER: Now THIS should have been a Coen brothers movie. I mean, "No Country for Old Men" could have been more like this... It was about contract killing, but it was also funny, and the high-school reunion angle was sort of heartwarming, and who doesn't love John Cusack as a neurotic hitman? Minnie Driver = Hot and Alan Arkin = funny, and all the pieces came together for me.

RATING: 7 out of 10 handguns

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

No Country for Old Men

Day 67 - 3/8/09 - Movie #65

BEFORE: Went to the "Split Thy Skull" festival (strong beer...) with Amy today. So I slept a few hours after returning home in the late afternoon. Still, I need to get my movie in for the day, so let's follow up "U.S. Marshals" with another Tommy Lee Jones movie.

THE PLOT: Violence and mayhem ensue after a hunter stumbles upon some dead bodies, a stash of heroin and more than $2 million in cash near the Rio Grande.

AFTER: Honestly, I'm not sure how (or why) this film won the Best Picture Oscar. Sure, the hitman character is cool, but all the killing just seemed so pointless (or was that the point?) We spend all this time rooting for Josh Brolin's character - why? It's not even his money, so why do we feel he deserves it? And his unwillingness to give the money up is his undoing - did the violent killer deserve it more? Who IS the villain here - are there no heroes? (other than Tommy Lee Jones, that is, but how effective does HE turn out to be?)

RATING: 4 out of 10 tent-poles

UPDATE: 4/1/09 - Upon further review, I think my initial rating was a little hasty. And it's not because the film won the Best Picture Oscar, or because so many people seem to hold it in high regard....

After typing up my review last night, I got to thinking about this film again on the subway ride home. My initial problem was with characters of questionable morality, but thinking back on films like "Raising Arizona", "Barton Fink" and "O Brother, Where Art Thou", I realized that the Coeniverse (pat. pending) is chock-full of such types. We root for H.I. in "Raising Arizona", despite the fact that he robs convenience stores. He seems to want what's best for his wife, but it's strange logic that justifies kidnapping a baby. The main characters in "O Brother" are escaped convicts, and we root for them as well. And I'm still sorting out the morals on display in "Big Lebowski" and "The Man Who Wasn't There"...

Similarly, Josh Brolin's Llewelyn wants what's best for his family, but he still steals money that isn't his. Javier Bardem's Anton Chigurh is a killer, but he kills according to a set of rules. He seems to have a moral code - it may not be the same as yours or mine, but it IS a moral code. He might kill based on a coin toss, or the wrong answer to a question or if you have something he wants, but he does NOT kill randomly.

I keep coming back to "Raising Arizona" - Randall "Tex" Cobb's Biker From Hell is a lot like Chigurh. He's tough, you don't want to cross his path, but he does seem to live according to his own twisted morality. The showdown between Llewelyn and Chigurh reminds me of H.I. vs the Biker, only without the comedic elements.

The movie raised such deep questions about morality for me - it made me THINK, (and isn't that what a film is supposed to do...?) so I think it deserves at least a 6 on my scale, if not a 7.

U.S. Marshals

Day 66 - 3/7/09 - Movie #64

BEFORE: Let's move from a parody of "The Fugitive" to its sequel. I've been trying to watch this film for about a decade. I slept very late today (Sat.) so by the time I had lunch, scanned some TV for work, went shopping and then had dinner, it was almost Sunday. And I'm going to lose an hour tomorrow to that damn Daylight Saving Time - don't get me started on that.

THE PLOT: US Marshal Samuel Gerard (Jones) and his team of Marshals are assigned to track down Mark Sheridan, a murderer and robber.

AFTER: Certainly it's action-packed, lots of twists in the storyline. But I question the choice to not let the audience know any facts about Wesley Snipes' character. We cared about Dr. Richard Kimble in "The Fugitive" because we KNEW he was innocent of his wife's murder. We know almost nothing about Mark Sheridan, then we learn he used to work for the government - so is he innocent or not? Suddenly we're not sure who to root for... Still, it's a great thrill-ride, and Robert Downey Jr. was a fine addition to the mix. Lots of great footage shot in some of Queens' finest cemeteries.

RATING: 7 out of 10 badges

Wrongfully Accused

Day 65 - 3/6/09 - Movie #63

BEFORE: Another spoof film with Leslie Nielsen, I think it's the last one, unless the pay channels run that "Superhero Movie" spoof, I think he had a part in that.

THE PLOT: Ryan Harrison is framed for murder and must prove himself innocent by finding a mysterious one-eyed, one-armed, one-legged man after escaping from a bus accident on the way to jail.

AFTER: Did we need a spoof of "The Fugitive"? Can we put an end to this genre now? None of these films will ever be as funny as "Airplane" anyway... Is this just an excuse for Leslie Nielsen to make out with actresses half his age? Or just to re-use old jokes and show people getting hit in the balls? Forgettable.

RATING: 4 out of 10 crotch-gags

Spy Hard

Day 64 - 3/5/09 - Movie #62

BEFORE: Worked late on Thursday night - so I'm glad that these parody films are so short! Only a couple more to go, this one features Leslie Nielsen as the hero and Andy Griffith as the villain. Again, I mostly know about the film because of the theme song by Weird Al.

THE PLOT: General Rancor is threatening to destroy the world with a missile he is hiding at his secret base. Special Agent Dick Steele is assigned to the case, in order to prevent the worst.

AFTER: This movie so badly wanted to be as funny as "Austin Powers" - but it just wasn't. For a spoof of James Bond films, it actually plays it too straight! And each pun, like the characters' names, just gets repeated over and over and run into the ground. The woman's name is Barbie Dahl, we GET IT already! Do you have to stress it 50 times? And how old is Leslie Nielsen, anyway? 80? And he's still trying to play an action hero?

RATING; 4 out of 10 microchips, and I'm being generous.

Fatal Instinct

Day 63 - 3/4/09 - Movie #61

BEFORE: Might as well knock off another one of these spoof films while I'm in the groove, but this one looks fairly stoopid - it's a parody of films like "Fatal Attraction" and "Basic Instinct". 5 spoof films in the last week, with still another 2 or 3 to go...

THE PLOT: A cop/attorney (yes he's both) is seduced by a woman while his wife is having an affair with a mechanic.

AFTER: Well, I'm not a big fan of Armand Assante, but Sean Young managed to turn up the crazy and deliver a solid comic performance. Nothing by itself stands out as hilarious, but there are so many little gags that some of them do manage to connect. Plus it's a genre that's full of things to parody - heck, "Basic Instinct 2" was pretty much a parody of itself.

RATING: 5 out of 10 ice picks

Johnny Dangerously

Day 62 - 3/3/09 - Movie #60

BEFORE: Continuing in the genre of spoof films - this is one of my wife's favorite movies, she and her brother quote lines from it all the time, but I've never seen it all the way through - I only know the movie from the music video for the Weird Al theme song...

THE PLOT: Set in the 1930's, an honest, goodhearted man is forced to turn to a life of crime to finance his neurotic mother's skyrocketing medical bills.

AFTER: Funnier than "Loaded Weapon", maybe about as funny as "Hot Shots". Who knew that "Airplane" would spawn so many copycat spoof films? I guess the gangster movies of the 1930's and 40's were something of an easy target... The songs sung by Marilu Henner's character were pretty clever too - the double meaning of "I Want to Love...Dangerously"

RATING: 7 out of 10 tommy-guns

National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1

Day 61 3/2/09 - Movie #59

BEFORE: Picking up the parody film genre again - played trivia at Crash Mansion tonight, so I'm short on time, and I think this is a short film.

THE PLOT: An LA detective is murdered because she has microfilm with the recipe to make cocaine cookies. A "Lethal Weapon" style cop team tries to find and stop the fiends before they can dope the nation by distributing their wares via the "Wilderness Girls" cookie drive.

AFTER: It's a funny-enough parody of the buddy-cop genre, "Lethal Weapon" and all the other similar films of the late 80's and early 90's. Good cameos by Charlie Sheen and F. Murray Abraham. Nothing was overwhelmingly side-splitting funny, but there were a lot of little gags, like in "Airplane".

RATING: 6 out of 10 boxes of cookies

The Jewel of the Nile

Day 60 - 3/1/09 - Movie #58

BEFORE: 1/6 of the way through the year, and starting Month #3 of my movie year. I'm making progress in that I'm watching a lot of movies, but since I'm still recording new ones off the premium channels, the list itself isn't getting any smaller - I'm adding movies as fast as I can watch them...

THE PLOT: The sequel to "Romancing the Stone". Joan accepts an invitation to go to a middle eastern country as a guest of the sheik, but there she is abducted and finds herself involved with the "jewel". Jack decides to rescue her with his new partner Ralph.

AFTER: Well, I think I liked the first movie better, though this sequel did feature the Flying Karamazov Brothers as a tribe of juggling Arabs... The villain's motives weren't very clear, though, and the identity of the "jewel" was revealed too early - plus it was just lacking FUN somehow...

RATING: 5 out of 10 camels