Day 164 - 6/13/09 - Movie #163
BEFORE: (Sigh) Let's get this over with....
THE PLOT: As part of a fertility research project, a male scientist agrees to carry a pregnancy in his own body.
AFTER: I'm sorry, I'm just not impressed by the "miracle" of watching a man give birth. I'm guessing the target audience for this film was pregnant women who want to see a man go through nausea, cramps, food cravings and sensitive nipples, just like they did, as some kind of revenge fantasy. The MacGuffin here is a drug called expectane that keeps Ah-nold's body from rejecting the embryo - why let the absence of a womb or a placenta get in the way of the plot?
At least there were a couple of cameos, like Aida Turturro (Janice from "The Sopranos") as a fertility nurse, a mulleted Christopher Meloni (from Law + Order: SVU) as an expectant father, and comedian John Pinette as a Big & Tall clothing salesman (nice casting...). Emma Thompson seems lost as a loopy, clumsy scientist that falls for Arnold - even she can't save this.
RATING: 2 out of 10 frozen embryos
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Twins
Day 163 - 6/12/09 - Movie #162
BEFORE: Another film about Schwarzenegger and genetic mishaps...
THE PLOT: A physically perfect, but innocent, man goes in search of his twin brother, who is a short small-time crook.
AFTER: Ugh, why did I make myself watch this? It's a movie based on one sight gag - that Arnold and Danny DeVito don't look alike, which I kinda already knew. The concept of Arnold as an overgrown genius man-child is somewhat interesting, but they didn't do enough with it. Besides, what kind of genius goes on a road trip with 3 other people in a Cadillac and never thinks to put the luggage in the trunk?
There's about 15 minutes of plot stretched out over a 105-minute movie. Whose bright idea was it to get Schwarzenegger to do light comedy? And the premise makes no sense - what good does it do to combine the genetic material of 6 men? Only one of their cells is going to fertilize the egg, right? It's not like they were combining the best gene strands from each donor...
RATING: 3 out of 10 stolen cars
BEFORE: Another film about Schwarzenegger and genetic mishaps...
THE PLOT: A physically perfect, but innocent, man goes in search of his twin brother, who is a short small-time crook.
AFTER: Ugh, why did I make myself watch this? It's a movie based on one sight gag - that Arnold and Danny DeVito don't look alike, which I kinda already knew. The concept of Arnold as an overgrown genius man-child is somewhat interesting, but they didn't do enough with it. Besides, what kind of genius goes on a road trip with 3 other people in a Cadillac and never thinks to put the luggage in the trunk?
There's about 15 minutes of plot stretched out over a 105-minute movie. Whose bright idea was it to get Schwarzenegger to do light comedy? And the premise makes no sense - what good does it do to combine the genetic material of 6 men? Only one of their cells is going to fertilize the egg, right? It's not like they were combining the best gene strands from each donor...
RATING: 3 out of 10 stolen cars
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The 6th Day
Day 162 - 6/11/09 - Movie #161
We had dinner with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend to celebrate his birthday, and went to Zum Stammtisch for German food. What could be more appropriate to eat before a Schwarzenegger film? Arnold-Fest rolls on with this film about cloning - I don't remember this film being released, so I've got no clue about it...
THE PLOT: Futuristic action about a man who meets a clone of himself and stumbles into a grand conspiracy about clones taking over the world.
AFTER: This is set in the "near-future" - where cloning is possible, but illegal (cigars are also illegal, and presumably trans-fats as well...) People in this future regularly clone their pets so they will live forever, but human cloning is too complicated...or is it?
The problem with the cloning depicted in this movie is that it isn't used to just make a new copy of a person or pet, they transfer over the original's memories, so that a cloned dog would remember the tricks you taught him, or where he buried bones in the yard. This creates something of a philosophical question - if your dog dies, and you grow him a host body, and transfer over his memories, it's still NOT the original dog - or is it? One theory says it will always be a copy - Arnold's character has an aversion to cloned pets early in the movie, and the points he makes are valid, but then that all gets swept under the rug.
I sort of have the same problem with the transporters in "Star Trek" - they break people down into atoms, teleport them somehow, and re-assemble them at the other end. But breaking something down into atoms? Doesn't that sound sort of fatal? Is that really the person who walks out of the transporter at the other end, or just some kind of duplicate? In other words, are all the billions of atoms moved across space, or just sort of duplicated at the other end? If the person is changed from matter to energy and back, are they really the exact same matter after that? I know, it's fiction and I'm over-thinking it, but still...
Then we get into the legal ramifications - what sort of legal status, if any, does a clone have? I think that if science is heading in this direction, the law will take a few years to catch up. Would it be legal to kill your own clone, or would that be considered suicide? Would a clone have any rights, is it considered a human, or just a copy of a human?
This probably looked like a good entertainment value in the theaters - you get to see two Schwarzeneggers for the price of one! Double the action, double the Arnold! But honestly it's more confusing than anything else... I couldn't really follow which one was which during the action sequences. And they missed an opportunity to have Arnie repeat the best line from "Total Recall", which was "If I'm naht me, dan who da hell ahm I?" Which reminds me, I should probably put "Total Recall" on my want list...
RATING: 6 out of 10 synth-cords
We had dinner with my brother-in-law and his girlfriend to celebrate his birthday, and went to Zum Stammtisch for German food. What could be more appropriate to eat before a Schwarzenegger film? Arnold-Fest rolls on with this film about cloning - I don't remember this film being released, so I've got no clue about it...
THE PLOT: Futuristic action about a man who meets a clone of himself and stumbles into a grand conspiracy about clones taking over the world.
AFTER: This is set in the "near-future" - where cloning is possible, but illegal (cigars are also illegal, and presumably trans-fats as well...) People in this future regularly clone their pets so they will live forever, but human cloning is too complicated...or is it?
The problem with the cloning depicted in this movie is that it isn't used to just make a new copy of a person or pet, they transfer over the original's memories, so that a cloned dog would remember the tricks you taught him, or where he buried bones in the yard. This creates something of a philosophical question - if your dog dies, and you grow him a host body, and transfer over his memories, it's still NOT the original dog - or is it? One theory says it will always be a copy - Arnold's character has an aversion to cloned pets early in the movie, and the points he makes are valid, but then that all gets swept under the rug.
I sort of have the same problem with the transporters in "Star Trek" - they break people down into atoms, teleport them somehow, and re-assemble them at the other end. But breaking something down into atoms? Doesn't that sound sort of fatal? Is that really the person who walks out of the transporter at the other end, or just some kind of duplicate? In other words, are all the billions of atoms moved across space, or just sort of duplicated at the other end? If the person is changed from matter to energy and back, are they really the exact same matter after that? I know, it's fiction and I'm over-thinking it, but still...
Then we get into the legal ramifications - what sort of legal status, if any, does a clone have? I think that if science is heading in this direction, the law will take a few years to catch up. Would it be legal to kill your own clone, or would that be considered suicide? Would a clone have any rights, is it considered a human, or just a copy of a human?
This probably looked like a good entertainment value in the theaters - you get to see two Schwarzeneggers for the price of one! Double the action, double the Arnold! But honestly it's more confusing than anything else... I couldn't really follow which one was which during the action sequences. And they missed an opportunity to have Arnie repeat the best line from "Total Recall", which was "If I'm naht me, dan who da hell ahm I?" Which reminds me, I should probably put "Total Recall" on my want list...
RATING: 6 out of 10 synth-cords
The Running Man
Day 161 - 6/10/09 - Movie 160
BEFORE: Yes, it's Schwarzenegger week, or in German, "Schwarzfilmeneggerwoche". We're still in the future, when the U.S. economy has collapsed in 2017 (hey, they were only off by 8 years), TV is filled with sadistic reality shows (well, they got that right...) and the goverment raises money by killing prison inmates on TV (all right, could still happen).
THE PLOT: A wrongly-convicted man must try to survive a public execution gauntlet staged as a TV game show.
AFTER: Ah-nold's character is a cop who gets framed for murdering civilians, and after a prison break and re-capture, is forced to compete for his freedom, "American Gladiators" style. But Richard Dawson steals the show as a sadistic host/producer, like a Simon Cowell/Ryan Seacrest/Mark Burnett mix. The "Running Man" TV show is a cross between "Gladiators", "Fear Factor" and the "Ultimate Fighting Championship", which draws ratings on the level of "American Idol". So should Steven King (who wrote the story this is based on, under the pen-name Richard Bachman) be credited/blamed for the creation of the reality TV genre? Honestly, I'm surprised that no network has tried to make this into an actual show - this could work in today's market, but instead we get shows about sextuplets, building motorcycles and choosing the right dress...ABC's "Wipeout" is a step in the right direction though. It's still just a matter of time until somebody dies on one of these reality stunt shows...
Arnold's acting skills are pathetic, but there's loads of action, and I think, unlike "End of Days", this film will become more relevant as time goes by. You can tell this was made shortly after "Terminator" because they made him repeat his "Ah'll be bahk" catchphrase and tried to create too many new ones, including "It's showtime!" and something cutesy every time one of his foes bites it. (after strangling a guy - "He vas a pain in da neck..." Come on, really?)
RATING: 7 out of 10 stalkers
BEFORE: Yes, it's Schwarzenegger week, or in German, "Schwarzfilmeneggerwoche". We're still in the future, when the U.S. economy has collapsed in 2017 (hey, they were only off by 8 years), TV is filled with sadistic reality shows (well, they got that right...) and the goverment raises money by killing prison inmates on TV (all right, could still happen).
THE PLOT: A wrongly-convicted man must try to survive a public execution gauntlet staged as a TV game show.
AFTER: Ah-nold's character is a cop who gets framed for murdering civilians, and after a prison break and re-capture, is forced to compete for his freedom, "American Gladiators" style. But Richard Dawson steals the show as a sadistic host/producer, like a Simon Cowell/Ryan Seacrest/Mark Burnett mix. The "Running Man" TV show is a cross between "Gladiators", "Fear Factor" and the "Ultimate Fighting Championship", which draws ratings on the level of "American Idol". So should Steven King (who wrote the story this is based on, under the pen-name Richard Bachman) be credited/blamed for the creation of the reality TV genre? Honestly, I'm surprised that no network has tried to make this into an actual show - this could work in today's market, but instead we get shows about sextuplets, building motorcycles and choosing the right dress...ABC's "Wipeout" is a step in the right direction though. It's still just a matter of time until somebody dies on one of these reality stunt shows...
Arnold's acting skills are pathetic, but there's loads of action, and I think, unlike "End of Days", this film will become more relevant as time goes by. You can tell this was made shortly after "Terminator" because they made him repeat his "Ah'll be bahk" catchphrase and tried to create too many new ones, including "It's showtime!" and something cutesy every time one of his foes bites it. (after strangling a guy - "He vas a pain in da neck..." Come on, really?)
RATING: 7 out of 10 stalkers
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
End of Days
Day #159 + 160 - 6/8+6/9/09 - Movie #159
BEFORE: Monday night trivia resumed, so I lost another day and I'm behind on the count again. But I'm at the end of my apocalyptic movie chain, so that's something. It's the end of the "End of the World as We Know It" films and I feel...well, tired actually.
THE PLOT: At the end of the century, Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's up to an ex-cop who now runs an elite security outfit to stop him.
AFTER: Schwarzenegger faces off against Gabriel Byrne as the Devil, with Kevin Pollak serving as comic relief. A movie about Satan taking over the world on Dec. 31, 1999 seems sort of quaint ten years later... It's hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys in this one, especially when some of the priests are willing to kill in order to prevent the AntiChrist from being born. Also confusing: if Satan's already walking around the Earth and very powerful, what does he need to conceive a child for? The devil's intended mate is a woman named Christine York, which is supposed to somehow mean "Christ in New York" - but shouldn't that be "Devil in New York"? Or "AntiChrist in New York"? Mixed signals, guys...
Ah-nold takes a licking and keeps on ticking in this one, he gets pretty beat up and even almost crucified (Schwarzenegger as Jesus, dat's a good vun...) as he battles Satan, who's more resilient than a Terminator-1000 robot. There's a slow learning curve as he figures out that you can't defeat the devil with bullets and explosions, so a lot of property gets destroyed before he figures out another way to do it.
It's campy and noisy, but action-packed, and I rather enjoyed it. It's sort of like "The Da Vinci Code" meets "Eraser".
RATING: 7 out of 10 stigmata
I suppose logically I should watch "Rosemary's Baby" or "The Omen" remake next, but I'm saving those for Halloween. I've got another plan in mind...
BEFORE: Monday night trivia resumed, so I lost another day and I'm behind on the count again. But I'm at the end of my apocalyptic movie chain, so that's something. It's the end of the "End of the World as We Know It" films and I feel...well, tired actually.
THE PLOT: At the end of the century, Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's up to an ex-cop who now runs an elite security outfit to stop him.
AFTER: Schwarzenegger faces off against Gabriel Byrne as the Devil, with Kevin Pollak serving as comic relief. A movie about Satan taking over the world on Dec. 31, 1999 seems sort of quaint ten years later... It's hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys in this one, especially when some of the priests are willing to kill in order to prevent the AntiChrist from being born. Also confusing: if Satan's already walking around the Earth and very powerful, what does he need to conceive a child for? The devil's intended mate is a woman named Christine York, which is supposed to somehow mean "Christ in New York" - but shouldn't that be "Devil in New York"? Or "AntiChrist in New York"? Mixed signals, guys...
Ah-nold takes a licking and keeps on ticking in this one, he gets pretty beat up and even almost crucified (Schwarzenegger as Jesus, dat's a good vun...) as he battles Satan, who's more resilient than a Terminator-1000 robot. There's a slow learning curve as he figures out that you can't defeat the devil with bullets and explosions, so a lot of property gets destroyed before he figures out another way to do it.
It's campy and noisy, but action-packed, and I rather enjoyed it. It's sort of like "The Da Vinci Code" meets "Eraser".
RATING: 7 out of 10 stigmata
I suppose logically I should watch "Rosemary's Baby" or "The Omen" remake next, but I'm saving those for Halloween. I've got another plan in mind...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The Reaping
Day 158 - 6/7/09 - Movie #158
BEFORE: I was just up in Newport, RI for the annual Chowder Cook-Off. After watching so many movies about the end of humanity, it was nice to get outside, get a bit of sun and sample 23 or 24 different versions of chowder in three categories (Clam, Seafood, and Creative). However, there were THREE different tomato-based chowders in the "Clam" category this year, which I believe is a sign of the coming apocalypse. It just goes to show how an event can go downhill when my friends and I, the official arbiters of good taste, take a year off from attending the event. If I were in charge, any chowder not cream-based would automatically be relegated to the Creative section (aka "Variety Chowders"). One must have standards, after all.
On the train back to NY, I rode in Amtrak's "Quiet Car", where cell phone use is a no-no (except for quiet texting) and even loud talking is frowned upon. The man sitting next to me declared himself the official "library monitor" for the car, and stood up and YELLED whenever someone was talking too loud. I didn't dare point out that he himself was breaking the silence - I even wondered if my Bugles chips were too crunchy for this guy. Where was he when I needed him at the Dennis DeYoung concert?
Almost finished with the armageddon/apocalypse theme - only one type remaining: the biblical Good Ol' Religious Prophesies (or GORP, for short).
THE PLOT: A former Christian missionary, who specializes in debunking religious phenomena, investigates a small town which seems to be suffering from the 10 biblical plagues.
AFTER: Again, I'm not an expert on today's horror movies - I'm more of an "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein" kind of guy. So I'm a little put off by a supposedly scientific investigator who gets started by a whistling teakettle (really?). I know these sudden noises are meant to startle the audience, but come on.... Also, her "investigation" proceeds at a snail's pace, while a little girl is being blamed for bringing on the plagues. She also has these odd visions and nightmares about her dead husband and daughter - maybe she should take some time off and get her head together, instead of investigating a situation almost exactly like the one in which her daughter died (what are the odds of that...?)
Actually, the movie mentions the possible scientific causes of the "Exodus" plagues, and gets it ALMOST right. There was a fascinating TV special in 2006 on the History Channel called "The Exodus Decoded", which theorized that the plagues of Egypt were caused by the eruption of a volcano near Santorini, Greece, and a related underground earthquake that could have released toxic gas into the Nile River to turn it blood-red, and this would have killed the fish. Since the fish eat frog eggs, this would have led to the overabundance of frogs, which would have died and led to the flies, etc. etc. Meanwhile the volcanic ash caused the plague of darkness, and toxic fumes from the river would have crept low into town at night, killing the first-born children who slept on the first floor of Egyptian houses. ("The Reaping" screenwriters prefer to blame the plagues of Egypt on a bacteria, rather than a volcano. Maybe they didn't see that show...)
I prefer to think that the Exodus story is real, but that Moses didn't "call his shot" - he merely went to the Pharaoh and said that God would cause some bad mojo to come down on Egypt if he didn't let his people go - we don't know how much time passed between Moses' threat and the first plague. So when disaster (eventually) struck, Moses was all over that like white on rice. There's a big difference between Babe Ruth saying "I'm gonna hit a home run for you tomorrow, kid!" and him pointing to the center-field bleachers during the fifth-inning. The first prediction is quite feasible, given Ruth's home-run totals, the second becomes the stuff of baseball legend.
Most prophets succeed due to a combination of luck and sheer volume. If I send out 100 letters to people claiming that I can predict the outcome of baseball games, all I have to do is make sure that 50 letters say "The Red Sox will win their first game" and 50 say "The Red Sox will lose their first game." I'll be right on half of the letters - then to those 50 people, I send 25 of them a letter that says "The Red Sox will win their second game", and the other 25 get the opposite letter. And so on, until after 5 games I've got three suckers who got the right letter 5 times in a row, and they'll be convinced that I've got "the gift". Similarly, Moses seemed like a genius, but only after disaster struck.
But try explaining science to the bunch of Southern yokels in this movie (one of whom has an Irish accent, which never gets explained...). A former missionary who debunks religious phenomena is a great idea for a character - it's just too bad that the movie forces her to do a complete reversal of her beliefs in order to advance the plot.
RATING: 6 out of 10 plagues
BEFORE: I was just up in Newport, RI for the annual Chowder Cook-Off. After watching so many movies about the end of humanity, it was nice to get outside, get a bit of sun and sample 23 or 24 different versions of chowder in three categories (Clam, Seafood, and Creative). However, there were THREE different tomato-based chowders in the "Clam" category this year, which I believe is a sign of the coming apocalypse. It just goes to show how an event can go downhill when my friends and I, the official arbiters of good taste, take a year off from attending the event. If I were in charge, any chowder not cream-based would automatically be relegated to the Creative section (aka "Variety Chowders"). One must have standards, after all.
On the train back to NY, I rode in Amtrak's "Quiet Car", where cell phone use is a no-no (except for quiet texting) and even loud talking is frowned upon. The man sitting next to me declared himself the official "library monitor" for the car, and stood up and YELLED whenever someone was talking too loud. I didn't dare point out that he himself was breaking the silence - I even wondered if my Bugles chips were too crunchy for this guy. Where was he when I needed him at the Dennis DeYoung concert?
Almost finished with the armageddon/apocalypse theme - only one type remaining: the biblical Good Ol' Religious Prophesies (or GORP, for short).
THE PLOT: A former Christian missionary, who specializes in debunking religious phenomena, investigates a small town which seems to be suffering from the 10 biblical plagues.
AFTER: Again, I'm not an expert on today's horror movies - I'm more of an "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein" kind of guy. So I'm a little put off by a supposedly scientific investigator who gets started by a whistling teakettle (really?). I know these sudden noises are meant to startle the audience, but come on.... Also, her "investigation" proceeds at a snail's pace, while a little girl is being blamed for bringing on the plagues. She also has these odd visions and nightmares about her dead husband and daughter - maybe she should take some time off and get her head together, instead of investigating a situation almost exactly like the one in which her daughter died (what are the odds of that...?)
Actually, the movie mentions the possible scientific causes of the "Exodus" plagues, and gets it ALMOST right. There was a fascinating TV special in 2006 on the History Channel called "The Exodus Decoded", which theorized that the plagues of Egypt were caused by the eruption of a volcano near Santorini, Greece, and a related underground earthquake that could have released toxic gas into the Nile River to turn it blood-red, and this would have killed the fish. Since the fish eat frog eggs, this would have led to the overabundance of frogs, which would have died and led to the flies, etc. etc. Meanwhile the volcanic ash caused the plague of darkness, and toxic fumes from the river would have crept low into town at night, killing the first-born children who slept on the first floor of Egyptian houses. ("The Reaping" screenwriters prefer to blame the plagues of Egypt on a bacteria, rather than a volcano. Maybe they didn't see that show...)
I prefer to think that the Exodus story is real, but that Moses didn't "call his shot" - he merely went to the Pharaoh and said that God would cause some bad mojo to come down on Egypt if he didn't let his people go - we don't know how much time passed between Moses' threat and the first plague. So when disaster (eventually) struck, Moses was all over that like white on rice. There's a big difference between Babe Ruth saying "I'm gonna hit a home run for you tomorrow, kid!" and him pointing to the center-field bleachers during the fifth-inning. The first prediction is quite feasible, given Ruth's home-run totals, the second becomes the stuff of baseball legend.
Most prophets succeed due to a combination of luck and sheer volume. If I send out 100 letters to people claiming that I can predict the outcome of baseball games, all I have to do is make sure that 50 letters say "The Red Sox will win their first game" and 50 say "The Red Sox will lose their first game." I'll be right on half of the letters - then to those 50 people, I send 25 of them a letter that says "The Red Sox will win their second game", and the other 25 get the opposite letter. And so on, until after 5 games I've got three suckers who got the right letter 5 times in a row, and they'll be convinced that I've got "the gift". Similarly, Moses seemed like a genius, but only after disaster struck.
But try explaining science to the bunch of Southern yokels in this movie (one of whom has an Irish accent, which never gets explained...). A former missionary who debunks religious phenomena is a great idea for a character - it's just too bad that the movie forces her to do a complete reversal of her beliefs in order to advance the plot.
RATING: 6 out of 10 plagues
The Happening
Day 157 - 6/6/09 - Movie #157
BEFORE: Friday night, we went to B.B. King's in Times Square to see Dennis DeYoung, formerly of Styx, perform with an acoustic trio that included Glen Burtnik (formerly of both Styx and REO Speedwagon) and Jeff Watson (formerly of Night Ranger). It's the third time that we've seen a "nostalgia" act there, the previous were Toto and Air Supply, and having seen Styx twice without DeYoung in the line-up, this was just done to complete the cycle. Two complaints: in between the perfunctory "Babe", "Lady" and "Come Sail Away" were just too darn many cuts from the new album. I realize you need to pimp it, but that doesn't mean the audience actually wants to HEAR it. Second complaint: people really have forgotten how to act in public places. B.B. King's is a combination restaurant and concert venue, so they tend to seat you across from your dinner companion, so it's really not appropriate during the performance of "Desert Moon" for someone to tell their friend, at full volume, that this was his biggest solo hit, from an album released in 1985, and that the video had a LOT OF PERSONAL MEANING FOR HIM! Some of us want to hear the music, Screamy!
I stayed up all night to catch a morning train to Rhode Island, so I had time for a movie early on Sat. morning. Enough sci-fi and robots, lets get back to basics - like real end-of-the-world stuff. This is one of the few films by M. Night Shyamalan that I know almost nothing about, so any twist or shock ending won't be spoiled for me.
THE PLOT: A strange, horrible and unprecedented crisis begins in Central Park. A high school science teacher, his wife and a young girl do what they can to survive it.
AFTER: Obviously I don't want to spoil the ending (or its explanation) for anyone else - instead I'll quote the late, great George Carlin on environmental issues:
"there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f**ked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years."
"The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system."
"I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism."
I can't quote any more, because Carlin's monologue then hits very close to the plot of this movie. In fact, it might even have inspired the plot. Bottom line, I'm not a big fan of horror movies, and watching people commit suicide on film isn't my idea of a good time. And seeing the guy who played Cameron in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" in a cameo as a high-school principal just made me feel very old.
RATING: 3 out of 10 construction workers
BEFORE: Friday night, we went to B.B. King's in Times Square to see Dennis DeYoung, formerly of Styx, perform with an acoustic trio that included Glen Burtnik (formerly of both Styx and REO Speedwagon) and Jeff Watson (formerly of Night Ranger). It's the third time that we've seen a "nostalgia" act there, the previous were Toto and Air Supply, and having seen Styx twice without DeYoung in the line-up, this was just done to complete the cycle. Two complaints: in between the perfunctory "Babe", "Lady" and "Come Sail Away" were just too darn many cuts from the new album. I realize you need to pimp it, but that doesn't mean the audience actually wants to HEAR it. Second complaint: people really have forgotten how to act in public places. B.B. King's is a combination restaurant and concert venue, so they tend to seat you across from your dinner companion, so it's really not appropriate during the performance of "Desert Moon" for someone to tell their friend, at full volume, that this was his biggest solo hit, from an album released in 1985, and that the video had a LOT OF PERSONAL MEANING FOR HIM! Some of us want to hear the music, Screamy!
I stayed up all night to catch a morning train to Rhode Island, so I had time for a movie early on Sat. morning. Enough sci-fi and robots, lets get back to basics - like real end-of-the-world stuff. This is one of the few films by M. Night Shyamalan that I know almost nothing about, so any twist or shock ending won't be spoiled for me.
THE PLOT: A strange, horrible and unprecedented crisis begins in Central Park. A high school science teacher, his wife and a young girl do what they can to survive it.
AFTER: Obviously I don't want to spoil the ending (or its explanation) for anyone else - instead I'll quote the late, great George Carlin on environmental issues:
"there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are f**ked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years."
"The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system."
"I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism."
I can't quote any more, because Carlin's monologue then hits very close to the plot of this movie. In fact, it might even have inspired the plot. Bottom line, I'm not a big fan of horror movies, and watching people commit suicide on film isn't my idea of a good time. And seeing the guy who played Cameron in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" in a cameo as a high-school principal just made me feel very old.
RATING: 3 out of 10 construction workers
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