Fast Food Nation

Year 2, Day 254 - 9/11/10 - Movie #620

BEFORE: I'm choosing not to commemorate the 9/11 anniversary today with a film, since I did that last year, and in my review of "The Siege" from July. Instead I'm sticking with my look at big business and the plight of the American worker. And tonight's film stars one of the former cast members of "That 70's Show", as last night's film did.

THE PLOT: An ensemble piece examining the health risks involved in the fast food industry and its environmental and social consequences as well.

AFTER: You'd think this would be a documentary, considering that it's based on a non-fiction exposé of the fast-food industry - but instead it's a fictionalized account, presumably containing much of the same information about how unclean (in several ways) the business is.

The film's central characters are: a "Mickey's" fast-food executive (Greg Kinnear, last seen in a cameo in "Blankman") who's sent to determine what's going wrong in a Colorado meat-packing plant; a group of Mexican immigrants (including one played by Wilmer Valderrama) who end up working at that plant; and Amber (Ashley Johnson, the little girl from "Growing Pains", all grown up), a teen who works one of the chain's restaurants, close to the plant.

The stories of these characters, plus the other people they interact with, form a large tapestry of interweaving plot threads - a trick the director, Richard Linklater, also pulled off in "Slackers" and "Dazed and Confused". However, the issue of how unclean the meat is gets obscured by other issues - immigration, the tedium of working for minimum wage, on-the-job sexual harassment, on-the-job injuries. These are all great topics for my look at American industry, but seem sort of off-topic from the original source material.

And the efforts of the people in the film who are trying to improve things seem to be in vain, so in the end the film is a giant shrug, saying "Well, what can you do?" This film sort of feels similar in tone to "21 Grams" or "Requiem for a Dream", where everyone is doomed and just circling the drain. And that's not to mention what happens to the cows... No, I'm not some health-nut who eats organic foods (or worse, a vegan), but I do try to think about where my food comes from, and occasionally I feel guilty about being part of The Machine - isn't that enough?

In the end, it's another tough film for me to rate, since it didn't really strive to be entertaining, or flat-out informative either.

Also starring Catalina Sandino-Moreno (last seen in "Maria Full of Grace"), Bobby Cannavale (last seen in "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"), Paul Dano (the teen from "Little Miss Sunshine"), and cameos from Luis Guzman (last seen in "Yes Man"), Patricia Arquette (last seen in "Little Nicky"), Esai Morales (last seen in "La Bamba"), Bruce Willis (last seen in "Live Free or Die Hard"), Ethan Hawke (last seen in "Training Day"), Kris Kristofferson (last seen in "A Star Is Born"), and Avril Lavigne.

RATING: 4 out of 10 hairnets

Extract

Year 2, Day 253 - 9/10/10 - Movie #619

BEFORE: Finally, a film about a business where they actually say what the company makes - it's right there in the title! This one was directed by Mike Judge, who I met at the San Diego Comic-Con in 2006. We'd been sharing a booth with the people who managed the Animation Show, a traveling festival that he co-founded, and during one of the days of the con, Judge himself showed up to see what it was all about, along with another reclusive animator, Don Hertzfeldt. Before we knew what was happening, an insane number of sketchbooks were being presented, with people requesting sketches of Beavis and Butthead or characters from "King of the Hill". I've rarely seen such a flurry of activity there...

THE PLOT: The owner of an Extract plant, tries to contend with myriad personal and professional problems, such as his potentially unfaithful wife and employees who want to take advantage of him.

AFTER: This is an odd little film - it's going to be hard for me to put a rating on it. Most of it is not laugh-out-loud funny, it's more like slice-of-life funny.

Joel, played by Jason Bateman (last seen in a cameo in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall") bounces between his extract plant and his home life, but when he's at work he wants to be at home, and when he's at home he wishes he were somewhere else too - so he hangs out at a bar and complains about his wife's lacking sex drive - while he himself is interested in a new attractive worker at his plant.

His friend who owns the bar (Ben Affleck, last seen in "Dazed and Confused") convinces him to hire a gigolo to test his wife's faithfulness, in order to justify the affair he wants to have. Yes, it's a bad idea, and things spiral out of control, since the cute new worker is only there to locate an injured worker who's due for a settlement.

There are some other twists, and some reversals, and wacky misunderstandings, but it didn't seem as unbelievable as say, "The Hudsucker Proxy", "Crazy People" or some other films I've watched this week. This seemed pretty grounded in reality - I could believe that most of these comic situations might actually occur. That's a neat trick, balancing comic entertainment with believability.

OK, so it's not exactly Shakespeare - or is it? There's something oddly classical about hiring someone to test your lover's fidelity, but I can't quite place it. I'm guessing this film didn't please people who were looking for a more wacky or gross-out comedy from the creator of "Office Space" and "Beavis and Butthead".

The central theme of the film seems to be guilt - people feeling guilty for cheating, for suing the company, for stealing, for thinking of selling the company, for not learning the employee's names, etc. etc. As Affleck's character suggests, most of these people just need to lighten up - a lot.

Also starring Mila Kunis (also last seen in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"), Kristen Wiig (last seen in "Semi-Pro"), David Koechner (last seen in "Thank You for Smoking"), J.K. Simmons (also last seen in "Thank You for Smoking"), with a cameo from Gene Simmons (yes, that Gene Simmons) and one from Mike Judge himself (as a disgruntled employee)

RATING: 5 out of 10 forklifts

Chairman of the Board

Year 2, Day 252 - 9/9/10 - Movie #618

BEFORE: Ah, there was a bit of a chill in the air today, and football season started, so fall is on the way. Soon milkshakes will be replaced with dunkaccinos, I'll start growing my fall facial hair, and business films will give way to Jack Nicholson movies. First, I've got to clear out the last of these silly summer comedies.

One might ask, but why watch a film that you just KNOW is probably a stinker? How do you justify watching a crappy Carrot Top comedy, when a classic such as "On the Waterfront" remains unwatched? It's a valid question, and I can think of three reasons to watch a "bad" film - first, to confirm that it is, indeed, a crapfest. Second, as Andy pointed out, I should be able to learn just as much from a bad film as I can from a good one - why, exactly, does it suck? And finally, to get it the heck off of my list.

THE PLOT: A surfer becomes the head of a major company.

AFTER: Chairman of the BOARD - get it? Like, surfBOARD? These are the jokes, people (unfortunately).

It turns out this film, while terrible, was exactly on topic - essentially, it's got the same plot as last night's film. So it makes sense to watch them back-to-back for comparative purposes. An experience man with ideas for wacky inventions becomes the head of a company, in a very unlikely manner, while a rival executive tries to make him fail, to lower the company's stock value. Wanna bet that the wacky ideas are a huge hit, so the plan fails, the hero succeeds, and gets the girl too?

But there's way way WAY too much slapstick - it's wall-to-wall physical comedy here, except for the parts that seem like an extension of Carrot Top's stand-up comedy act, which features crazy invention-like props. See Carrot Top wear a chicken suit, see him accidentally drink motor oil, and see him fall down - a lot.

To be fair, the inventions proposed here are at least original ideas, unlike the one in "The Hudsucker Proxy". But the movie can't decide if its main character is a genius or a screw-up - you've got to pick one or the other, and run with it. Then again, Albert Einstein was known to leave the house and forget his pants...

Also starring Larry Miller, Courtney Thorne-Smith, Raquel Welch, and more of my favorite character actors - Jack Warden (last seen in "From Here to Eternity"), Estelle Harris (last seen in "Stand and Deliver"), Taylor Negron, Jack McGee (last seen in "Thirteen Days") and M. Emmet Walsh (last seen in "The Mighty Quinn").

RATING: 2 out of 10 tennis rackets

The Hudsucker Proxy

Year 2, Day 251 - 9/8/10 - Movie #617

BEFORE: I'm sort of bouncing through the decades of American industry here - I started in 1980 with "9 To 5", then backwards to the 1960's, then forward to the 2000's, and tonight it's a movie set in the late 1950's, but made in 1994.

THE PLOT: A naive business graduate is installed as president of a manufacturing company as part of a stock scam.

AFTER: This film has a lot of elements in common with my previous "big business" films - we've got a corporate scam and an imbecile boss, like in "9 To 5", a mailroom clerk who somehow rises rapidly to an executive position, like in "How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying", a female reporter seducing an executive, like in "Thank You for Smoking", and of course the backstabbing corporate politics seen in last night's film. Throw all these plot elements into a blender, and set it against a giant corporate structure like the one seen in "Brazil", and the resulting mix SHOULD work - in theory, anyway.

But there's something wrong with the corporate board's plan to install a moronic figurehead to devalue the company stock, then buy up a majority of the outstanding shares when they're cheap. The plan is actually a good one, so why did the board members sell their shares at the stock's lowest point? Geez, I'm not a businessman, but even I know it should be "Buy low, sell high"! (Even though my few stock investments have seemed to work the other way...) Why did they sell low, other than to create more misery for themselves?

Of course, no one let the figurehead, Norville Barnes (Tim Robbins, last seen in "Jungle Fever"), in on the plan - so he does his best to try and lift the company out of the gutter, inadvertently spoiling the plan. He's got an idea for an invention, which just looks like a simple circle on paper - doesn't anyone he shows it to ever take the time to ask what it does? It turns out to be a classic icon of the 1950's - you know, for kids - but it's one which already has a well-documented backstory, that completely contradicts the one depicted here.

Still, the movie has an OK premise, and sets up the conflict well between the figurehead company president and the board, but it took a long time for the third act to develop - it seemed like the story was just going to tread water until the ending. Then, the movie ended up running right off the reality rails, just before the climax, or more correctly, in place of the climax.

I hate to use the phrase "bad filmmaking" with regards to a Coen Brothers movie, but one of the earmarks of B.F. is that the seams are all showing - you can see that the only reason certain things happen is that there's no other way to advance the plot. The tail is wagging the dog, so to speak. Why does the board sell their stock? So they can be put into a more desperate situation. Why does the inter-office memo never get delivered? Because if it did, the plot couldn't advance in that way. Why does the movie end in the strange way that it does? Clearly, no one could think of a better alternative.

Plus, I've got to take points off for the vocal affectation of Jennifer Jason Leigh (last seen in "Synecdoche, New York"), who talked like Judy Garland mixed with Katharine Hepburn, but sped-up like the Keystone Kops on Krack. It's obviously meant to be a throwback to the 50's, or maybe the early talkies of the 1930's, but did anyone ever actually talk this way? (EDIT: I'm not familiar with the films of Rosalind Russell, but if she talked like this, I'm very not interested.)

Also starring Paul Newman (last seen in "The Hustler"), and a host of character actors like Charles Durning (last seen in "True Confessions"), John Mahoney (last seen in "Say Anything"), Bruce Campbell (last seen in "The Majestic"), Jon Polito (last seen in "The Freshman"), Mike Starr (last seen in "Dumb & Dumber"), Bill Cobbs (last seen in "That Thing You Do!") and Joe Grifasi, with cameos from Peter Gallagher, Steve Buscemi (last seen in "Escape From L.A."), and Anna Nicole Smith.

RATING: 4 out of 10 Monte Cristo cigars

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

Year 2, Day 250 - 9/7/10 - Movie #616

BEFORE: I realize I'm jumping from Big Business to journalism, but I couldn't ignore the "How To manual" connection. Though based on the title alone, it seems like this film might be the polar opposite of last night's movie musical.

THE PLOT: A British writer struggles to fit in at a high-profile magazine in New York.

AFTER: Of course, the title is a play on the famous book "How To WIN Friends and INFLUENCE People", the famous self-help book by Dale Carnegie - and it's based on a book of the same name by Toby Young, British journalist, critic and occasional judge on "Top Chef", when Gail Simmons isn't available. (for a while I confused him with Toby Jones, who played Truman Capote in the film "Infamous" - hmm, Robert Morse also famously played Truman Capote on Broadway, how very random)

This is obviously a thinly-veiled roman a clef of Toby Young's career - the main character here is named SYDNEY Young, and is played by an equally bald Simon Pegg (last seen in "Run, Fatboy, Run"). Toby worked for Vanity Fair, so clearly he was taking notes to turn his pain into art later. Can we assume that his boss "Clayton Harding" is a stand-in for Graydon Carter? Yes, I think we can - that sort of makes this film the male version of "The Devil Wears Prada".

When Sydney arrives in New York to work for "Sharps" magazine, he attempts to bring with him the type of crude humor and hatred of celebrity that got him hired, only to find that his new job wants him to write puff pieces, and articles that build celebrities up, not tear them down. So he rails against the system, pissing off his editor and the head boss, played by Jeff Bridges (last seen in "Iron Man). Bridges plays the slick managing editor as sort of an anti-Lebowski (another character in the film takes over the drinking of White Russians)

Problem is, you can't have it both ways, and be a snarky, sarcastic journalist who trashes celebrities and gets under everyone's skin AND then complain that nothing goes your way and you can't get ahead. Eventually Sydney realizes that he's got to play the game and kiss ass if he wants to get a byline. So this is a film that's on topic, since it's essentially all about office politics.

I paired this with "Crazy People" on a DVD, and that turned out to be a pretty good match - both feature characters who realize their lives are facades, a bunch of lies that they don't want to live any more, and they snap. But it just takes so damn long for Sydney to figure out who he wants to be - so he's an arrogant jerk for the first half of the film, and then a sycophantic tool for most of the second half. How is the audience supposed to like him? I was rooting for Simon Pegg's characters in "Run, Fatboy, Run", and even "Hot Fuzz", but it's a lot more difficult here. Don't just assume that your main character is likable - if you want me to like him, he's got to do something, well, likable.

Also starring Kirsten Dunst (last seen in "Be Kind Rewind"), Danny Huston (last seen in "The Number 23", hmm, I didn't realize he was the son of John Huston...), Megan Fox and Gillian Anderson, with cameos from Thandie Newton (also last seen in "Run, Fatboy Run"), Max Minghella (last seen in "Bee Season"), Daniel Craig (last seen in "Munich") and Kate Winslet.

RATING: 5 out of 10 hors d'oeuvres

How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

Year 2, 249 - 9/6/10 - Movie #615

BEFORE: Happy Labor Day! (Do people wish each other "Happy Labor Day"?) I celebrated with a backyard vegetarian-friendly (mostly) barbecue for some ex-co-workers, most of whom I haven't seen in months. And by watching this film, celebrating a young man's climb up the corporate ladder, in musical form.

THE PLOT: Armed with a "How to..." manual, an ambitious window washer seeks to climb the corporate ladder.

AFTER: I should point out that I saw this musical done on stage, by a community theater group, about three decades ago, but I've never watched the film version. Yes, I have a background in musical theater, I was probably in 8 or 10 community plays during my high-school years, my stock in trade was playing whatever authority figure a play had to offer - the boss in "The Pajama Game", the mayor in "Bye Bye Birdie", and Chief Sitting Bull in "Annie Get Your Gun". That last one was particularly difficult, since I had to do the whole play without my glasses, so I was essentially performing blind... Oh, and I played Senator Bullmoose in "Li'l Abner", too - see the pattern? If I had been in a production of this play, I'd probably have been cast as J.P. Biggley, or perhaps the Chairman of the Board - whichever role could be sung as a low baritone.

A lot of connections here to last night's film, though one shows the office politics of the 1960's and the other is set in 1980...but both films deal in archetypes - here we have the nincompoop boss (again), the boss's conniving nephew, the boss's sexpot secretary/mistress, and the young starry-eyed window-washer, who dreams of being a junior executive with a corner office. That man is J. Pierpont Finch, played by Robert Morse, who originated the role on Broadway. I always perceived him as sort of a poor man's Jerry Lewis (I don't take the time to watch the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon, so this is sort of the next best thing).

Also, like in last night's film, we never really find out what exactly the company does. Sure, they talk about making wickets (funny, I remembered it as being widgets) but no one ever seems to know what they are. In "9 To 5" this seemed like a glaring omission, but here it seems more like it's used for comic effect - no one NEEDS to know what a wicket is, in order to skate by at semi-performing their job.

Finch has a little bit of help in the corporate world, from a how-to manual called (you guessed it...) "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying". And the tips in the book really seem to work - within minutes of applying for a job, he's finagled a position for himself, and he parlays that mailroom job into a junior executive opportunity in just a matter of days - or is it hours? After that, he uses little tricks to get ahead, and everything's on track - until he works for an executive who's read the exact same manual...

The corporate tricks are clever, if quite unrealistic, and I found the songs by Frank Loesser catchy, but somehow they weren't as memorable as, say, songs from "Fiddler on the Roof" or "The Sound of Music", which will stay with me forever. I'm not sure why that is, other than the fact that I had to perform those latter songs on stage...

Obviously, a movie reflects the attitudes of the time during which it was created - and it seems like the implication here is that women only worked as secretaries so they could land themselves rich men, then quit, get married and raise babies (while their husbands fool around with other secretaries...) and a female executive here would be absolutely out of the question. Still, there are some timeless elements here, and I can't help but feel that this movie aged slightly better than "9 To 5" did. I don't watch current TV hit "Mad Men", but I think it probably picks up on some of these romanticized 1960's elements. I feel that the 1980's nostalgia should be in full-swing by now, and I'm wondering why we're still discussing the 1960's.

Also starring Michele Lee and old-time bandleader Rudy Vallee.

RATING: 6 out of 10 dictation pads

9 To 5

Year 2, Day 248 - 9/5/10 - Movie #614

BEFORE: The most logical choice after "Thank You For Smoking" would be "Fast Food Nation" - but I'll get to that next week. Because today is 9/5, get it? Though my schedule these days is more like 10 to 6, or some days 11 to 6, but during Comic-Con it seems to be 8 to whenever...

THE PLOT: Three female employees of a "sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot" find a way to turn the tables on him.

AFTER: This is an alleged "classic" of office politics - a precursor to comedies like "The Office" and "Office Space", in which you've got to believe that an incompetent blowhard somehow found a way to weasel into middle-management, despite being sexist, evil, and completely clueless. It's a farce, so you've got to start somewhere, I suppose...

You've also got to believe in the premise of the "Wacky Misunderstanding". People don't realize how prevalent these actually were in the 1970's, before we had e-mails and cell phones and text messaging to straighten everything out. Why, just look at your average 70's sitcom, say, "Three's Company" or "WKRP in Cincinnati" - it seemed like there must have been a Wacky Misunderstanding happening every week to people in that decade...

In this film, the three main characters are like women's lib archetypes - the divorced housewife entering the workforce for the first time, the buxom folksy secretary who has to fight off the boss's unwanted advances, and the widowed life-time corporate supervisor who can't advance due to the "glass ceiling". It's like a bizarro-universe corporate training film, co-sponsored by the National Organization for Women - "What To Do When Your Boss Takes Credit for Your Work" or "How To Work For Mister Grabby-Hands".

These three disgruntled employees get stoned one night and fantasize about killing or kidnapping their boss, and then, due to said Wacky Misunderstanding, are led to believe that they've actually poisoned their boss, and hijinks ensue. There's a weird leap in logic here - they thought they killed their boss, they found out he's OK, so they have to kidnap him and hold him hostage for 6 weeks? Yes, I know it's a farce, but it still has to progress logically - this is like 1, 2, 3...er, 7?

Of course, every corporate change that they make in his name, during his absence, turns out to be wildly successful - my friend Andy warned me against office films like "Yes Man", where every wacky corporate move somehow leads to greater profit and/or productivity. It's just not believable - flex-time and day-care aren't MEANT to be profitable, they're supposed to make it possible for new parents to return to the workforce. Day-care is a perk that companies pay for - and how exactly would it lead to a rise in productivity in just 6 weeks? You also have to believe that while one boss is an incompetent boob, his direct superior is a savvy genius who notices every tiny detail with regards to the office's bottom line.

Yet, at the same time, the boss was pulling some kind of embezzlement scheme, which the superiors never noticed, and the movie never gives us the details on. For that matter, I don't think they ever said what business this "Consolidated" company was even in. Not that it matters, since outside of making copies and doing some random typing, I never saw anyone doing anything that resembled "work".

Well, it all comes out in the wash, and the evil sexist boss gets promoted and transferred (since his office ran so much more efficiently without him), so I guess there's no reason to prosecute anyone for kidnapping, attempted murder, extortion, destruction of company property, illegal possession of a firearm, etc. etc.

Ridiculous. I don't think this film has aged well at all.

Starring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin (last seen in "A Prairie Home Companion"), Dolly Parton, and Dabney Coleman (last seen in "Stuart Little").

RATING: 3 out of 10 cups of coffee

Thank You For Smoking

Year 2, Day 247 - 9/4/10 - Movie #613

BEFORE: I neglected to watch this film after "The Insider" as originally planned - so I'll make it part of my look at corporate America. Last night's film showed an ad agency working on a tobacco campaign (among others) so that's my connection.

THE PLOT: Satirical comedy follows the machinations of Big Tobacco's chief spokesman, Nick Naylor, who spins on behalf of cigarettes while trying to remain a role model for his twelve-year-old son.

AFTER: Another connection to last night's film - both movies center on men who are questioning the morality of their jobs - advertising, marketing, lobbying - it's all the same thing, right?

I've been blessed/cursed with the ability to see both sides of most issues (or have I?) so I'm not going to get all preachy about smoking, and related health issues - even though I have family members who smoked, and I'm sure it didn't increase their life-spans. Both of my grandfathers smoked and died in their 60's (I think) but my grandmother smoked for decades, and actually outlived the nursing home - she moved in with my parents when she found she wasn't going out to church and bingo as often as she used to.

In addition, I've got a close friend who was working at a job in the World Trade Center in 2001, and she survived the 9/11 attacks because she was downstairs on a smoke break - so you could say that smoking may have SAVED her life. Or I suppose you could say that the smoke-free building codes saved her life, it's up for debate...

Anyway, I'm looking at corporate America this week for Labor Day, and that means both the good and the bad aspects. Part of that is the free market emphasized in this film, and lobbyists are part of that. We've got a Pork Council, a Dairy Board, and an Egg Council - remember back when eggs were considered good for you? Then the anti-cholesterol sentiment deemed them unhealthy, then the Egg Council made sure everyone knew they were high in protein, so they're back to being healthy again (sort of).

My point is, that's the free market. Freedom is about making choices on a personal level, and we're all free to eat eggs, or not, as we see fit. Even those sugary cereals are pitched as "part of a balanced breakfast", though nobody really eats their bowl of cereal with a glass of orange juice, whole wheat toast with margarine, an apple, a banana, and some wheat germ. Heck, you could make anything, even cigarettes, part of your "balanced breakfast" that way.

The question becomes, how do you fight smoking, or alcoholism, or childhood obesity, without taking away personal freedoms? See, this is why I don't consider myself a movie critic - this blog is not about movie reviews, so much as it is a place for my musings, related or not, after seeing a film. I think the plot details here are much less important than the questions that are raised.

And in the bigger picture, how does a man, any man, stay in a job, any job, once he no longer believes in it? How does one overcome self-doubt in order to perform a task that is morally questionable? I'm hosting a backyard BBQ for some ex-co-workers on Monday, so these questions may come up - not that I'm fed up with my job, but I've been at it so long that people naturally assume that I am.

Starring Aaron Eckhardt (last seen in "Any Given Sunday"), J.K. Simmons (last seen in "Burn After Reading"), Robert Duvall (last seen in "Bullitt"), William H. Macy (last seen in "A Civil Action"), Katie Holmes (last seen in "Wonder Boys"), Maria Bello (last seen in "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor") and David Koechner (last seen in "Semi-Pro") with cameos from Sam Elliott (last seen in "The Golden Compass"), Rob Lowe (last seen in "Tommy Boy"), Adam Brody, Joan Lunden and Dennis Miller.

RATING: 6 out of 10 nicotine patches (for being thought-provoking, more than entertaining)