Date Night

Year 3, Day 57 - 2/26/11 - Movie #787

BEFORE: My thanks to HBO for coordinating their Saturday night premiere with my viewing schedule...

THE PLOT: In New York City, a case of mistaken identity turns a bored married couple's attempt at a glamorous and romantic evening into something more thrilling and dangerous.

AFTER: I guess maybe this one isn't really on theme, at least not connected to "Couples Retreat", except that both feature marriages that may have gotten boring. I wish I'd known that this was less of a relationship film and more of a crime-based comedy - and I wish I'd known that so much of the plot revolved around mistaken identity, since I've got a whole week of films on that subject coming up in March, I could have used this to make the transition.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of far-fetched elements here, the mistaken identity is just the start - throw in the stereotypical "corrupt NYC cops" element, and the fact that the wife's character just HAPPENS to know someone who's a security expert that they can turn to, and it all adds up to a convoluted trip through New York's underworld that becomes very, very hard to believe.

Steve Carell (last seen in "Dan in Real Life") is pretty amusing, and if the bloopers shown during the end credits are to be believed, then a lot of the funnier lines were improvised - he comes off a little better than Tina Fey. Most of the other characters just seemed pretty flat - the story too, I'm left thinking it could have / should have been a lot funnier.

Also starring Mark Wahlberg (last seen in "The Perfect Storm"), Common (last seen in "American Gangster"), William Fichtner (last seen in "Black Hawk Down"), Taraji P. Henson (last seen in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"), Jimmi Simpson (Lyle the intern from the Letterman show) with cameos from Kristen Wiig (last seen in "Extract"), Mark Ruffalo, James Franco (last seen in "Milk"), Mila Kunis (also last seen in "Extract"), Ray Liotta (last seen in "Blow"), Bill Burr, J.B. Smoove, Nick Kroll, and Will.i.Am (last seen in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine")

RATING: 4 out of 10 stripper poles

Couples Retreat

Year 3, Day 56 - 2/25/11 - Movie #786

BEFORE: At least four actors carry over from "The Break-Up", so scheduling them together is like a no-brainer. Sad to say my list hasn't been decreasing much lately, since I've been adding a movie to it just about every day this week - so with 325 movies left on my list, and 214 days until I take a break, it's starting to look like I'm not going to finish this year either...

THE PLOT: A comedy centered around four couples who travel to a tropical-island resort for a vacation, but wind up in couples therapy instead.

AFTER: I feel the need to point out that the premise is rather shaky. One couple needs marriage counseling, so they convince three other couples to join them at a resort so they can get a group rate. Why not just see a therapist in their own town? Are there no qualified professionals nearby?

So the plot's a bit of a dodge, to get one couple that needs counseling (and three others that don't realize they do...) to a scenic resort - geez, it must be tough to be an actor, all those long days shooting in tropical paradises, with nothing to do during their long stretches of down-time...

Actually, it's not as bad as the couples first think - it might have been more comic if the couples were forced to endure more of the couple-building skills (What happened to fire-walking and trust-falls? Aren't those Hollywood therapy staples?), but after the sessions are over, they do get to swim, relax, eat great food and enjoy the scenery, so it's hard to feel too sorry for them.

The other story problem here is that we all know these self-help gurus are completely off their nut - so why not show that? Therapy's all a bunch of hooey, right? But no one calls out the experts here on their B.S. As you might expect, each couple finds a comedic, roundabout way to work out their relationship problems.

And while the film doesn't try to paint each relationship with the same broad brush, these are four couples that have very specific individual problems - so the opposite effect applies, people at home might not be able to sympathize with all (or any) of their issues.

I appreciate keeping the physical comedy to a minimum - except for things like yoga and massage sessions, the humor is mostly cerebral here, but the toilet humor still found a way to creep in - so I'm calling it a wash.

Starring Vince Vaughn, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Jon Michael Higgins (all four carrying over from "The Break-Up"), Kristin Davis, Malin Ackerman (last seen in "The Heartbreak Kid"), Kristen Bell (last seen in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"), Jean Reno (last seen in "Ronin"), with cameos from Temuera Morrison (Jango Fett!), and Ken Jeong (last seen in "The Hangover")

RATING: 5 out of 10 jet-skis

The Break-Up

Year 3, Day 55 - 2/24/11 - Movie #785

BEFORE: Just a few days left in February, and it looks like the big winners for the month will be Jennifer Aniston (last seen in "He's Just Not That Into You") and Bradley Cooper, each represented in 4 films. Vince Vaughn (last seen in "Wedding Crashers") is staging a late comeback, but it will be too little, too late. I had two open slots here while waiting for HBO to premiere "Date Night" on Saturday, so it was either 2 Vaughn films, or 2 Meryl Streep films - with Streep's birthday occuring in June, it makes sense to save those.

THE PLOT: In a bid to keep their luxurious condo from each other, a couple's break-up proceeds to get uglier and nastier by the moment.

AFTER: Well, I'm glad to see someone make a film about what's really important in a relationship - the real estate. I'm semi-kidding here, but it's one of my two stock pieces of advice for younger co-workers - "Hang on to the real estate." (The other, of course, is "keep separate bank accounts." Hey, what good is my experience if I can't pass it along?)

It's really painful subject matter, as the audience gets to be a "fly on the wall" during this couple's most trying times. Since neither is willing (or financially able) to move out of their shared condo, they're forced to continue to share space, and the mind-games commence. Breaking up is not easy, but for these two, breaking up and staying together simultaneously is particularly hurtful. It's tough to watch the person you cared about date someone else, for example, even if you're officially over.

There are some sitcom-level hijinks, and some rather poor portrayals of both gay men and a cappella singers (I take more of an issue with the latter...) - heck, most of the men in this film don't get a fair shake, especially the video-game addicted, insensitive, slovenly lead character. There is, however, a real attempt to change his ways (after much, much resistance) but as is often the case, it comes too little, too late.

The story and the ending rang sort of true - but I don't know too many non-married couples who would buy real estate together, so I'm not too keen on the whole premise. It feels like someone wanted to make a divorce movie, but without the divorce part - because then you'd have something like "The War of the Roses".

Also starring Jon Favreau (last seen in "Four Christmases"), Joey Lauren Adams (last seen in "Dazed and Confused"), Jason Bateman (last seen in "Teen Wolf 2"), Vincent D'Onofrio (last seen in "Being Human"), Justin Long (also last seen in "He's Just Not That Into You"), Judy Davis (last seen in "Blood and Wine"), Ann-Margret (last seen in "Any Given Sunday"), and John Michael Higgins (last seen in "Fred Claus").

RATING: 6 out of 10 double-decker buses

Dan in Real Life

Year 3, Day 54 - 2/23/11 - Movie #784

BEFORE: Jennifer Aniston was in "The Good Girl" with John C. Reilly, who was in "Step Brothers" with Will Ferrell, who was in "Anchorman" with Steve Carell, who stars in tonight's film. Hopefully Mr. Carell can pull me out of my rom-com funk - and birthday SHOUT-out #17 goes to Emily Blunt (last seen in "Charlie Wilson's War"), who appears here in a small role.

THE PLOT: A widower finds out the woman he fell in love with is his brother's girlfriend.

AFTER: In a way this represents a combination of some elements from other recently-watched films - first off, we've got a couple who meet cute in a bookstore, like in "Falling in Love". Then we've got a romantic situation where the partners clearly need to be re-shuffled, as in "He's Just Not That Into You". And finally we've got a family getting together at their vacation home, where touch football is played, like in "Wedding Crashers".

Oh, and Dan (Steve Carell, last seen in "Evan Almighty") is having the worst day ever, like Molly Ringwald's character in "Sixteen Candles". He's stuck in the most awkward situation possible, watching as his own brother is dating the girl he's just fallen for, and seems to be very compatible with. Good thing that Steve Carell seems to excel in awkward situations.

He's also a widower who hasn't yet found his way back on to the dating scene - and we see him being both supported and mocked by his large family, which rang quite true. No one can love you like your family can, and no one can give you a hard time like your family can.

But what to do? Pursue the woman he's got a connection with and risk betraying his brother, or keep silent and watch the potential love of his life with another? He's stuck - which is made more ironic by the fact that he's some kind of advice columnist, who for once doesn't know what to do.

Some of the family stuff was a little too cutesy - people playing charades, and putting on a family "talent show", but the film takes place in Rhode Island, so I'm willing to believe there's not much else to do there. And I have to take off points for a quite predictable ending - and for a wonderful acoustic version of "Let My Love Open the Door" performed by Carell, and ruined by Dane Cook.

However, in the movie's defense, it found a way to be heartwarming and heartbreaking simultaneously, which is not an easy task.

Also starring Juliette Binoche (last seen in "Bee Season"), John Mahoney (last seen in "The Russia House"), Dianne Weist (last seen in "Falling in Love"),

RATING: 7 out of 10 bowling balls (really an 8, but 1 point deducted for excessive Dane Cook-ness.)

He's Just Not That Into You

Year 3, Day 53 - 2/22/11 - Movie #783

BEFORE: Another one of these romance anthologies ("romanthologies?") tonight - with birthday SHOUT-out #16 to Drew Barrymore (last seen in "Firestarter"), born 2/22/75. God, I feel old. And Bradley Cooper carries over from last night's film, so linking is a non-issue.

THE PLOT: Baltimore-set movie of interconnecting story arcs deals with the challenges of reading or misreading human behavior.

AFTER: I didn't care for how this movie tried to paint all men and all women with just two different brushes - all men seem to be shallow liars with commitment problems who use women, and all women, and all women are needy obsessive singles who (somehow...) turn into distant wives. (One assumes that if the needy singles land husbands, they become distant, even though those broad stereotypes represent opposing personality types) Oh, wait, there are some exceptions, but all of those characters are gay men. (more stereotypes follow.)

Stereotypes are quick, easy, and here they're a substitute for any character insight or personal growth. Now, one male character in this film actually breaks the "Guy Code", and clues a female character in on what it really means when a man doesn't call. (See title.) This is actually an original idea - and it would be great to see a woman use this information to free herself of her relationship dependency, break the cycle of desperation, and, I don't know - get some work done? Take a class, read a book? (NOTE: This is why I'm not a writer...)

But, she fails to learn anything from the inside info she's gathered, and continues to be needy and obsessive, just with a different person. So who's to blame? This movie comes CLOSE to making a similar point to that of "(500) Days of Summer" - that successful romantic love might be a construct of movies, pop songs and greeting cards (and that women get a double-dose of this syndrome) - but then chooses to move the universe and re-shuffle the partnership cards so as to imply that real true love suddenly DOES exist. So, filmmakers, are you part of the solution, or part of the problem?

There's an attempt to make the stories resolve (at least in the framework of the film, are any character's problems TRULY ever over?) in both unconventional AND pleasing ways, but it can't always meet both requirements. Besides, the damage to our society has already been done by that point. What's sad is that the male/female dynamic is portrayed largely as a negotiation, with everyone trying to make the best deal - and if a deal falls through, they just move on to the next best deal. It's so mercenary - it shouldn't be like buying real estate.

What might have been truly interesting would have been to show some characters who do manage to figure out how to read the opposite sex, rise above some of the B.S. and then accomplish something before just moving on to the next mate.

There's a hint of promise here - an implication that successful romances are like urban legends - turning a long-time commitment-phobic man into a husband was done by a friend of a friend's aunt's step-daughter. And that a Hollywood-style romance is the exception, not the rule. But then the movie sucker-punched me with two (or three?) of the couples' fates.

Maybe if these characters (and people in general) thought more about "What can I bring to this relationship?" rather than "What can I get out of this relationship?", they'd be more successful. I'm just putting that out there - but only ONE of the ten or so characters in this film come even close to thinking along these lines.

Another week of romance-based films? After this, I don't know if I can make it...

Also starring Scarlett Johansson (last seen in "The Prestige"), Ben Affleck (last seen in "The Sum of All Fears"), Jennifer Aniston (last seen in "The Good Girl"), Jennifer Connelly (last seen in "Inkheart"), F.O.T.B. Justin Long (last seen in "Zack and Miri Make a Porno") Kevin Connolly, Ginnifer Goodwin, Kris Kristofferson (last seen in "Blade: Trinity"), with cameos from Luis Guzman (last seen in "Fast Food Nation"), Busy Phillips, and Natasha Leggero.

RATING: 3 out of 10 bridesmaid dresses

New York, I Love You

Year 3, Day 52 - 2/21/11 - Movie #782

BEFORE: Continuing the NYC-based romance chain with this one, which I think is like 10 short films joined together. And while I saw a film earlier this week with my former college roommate Judah Friedlander, this one features a segment directed by my film-school rival, Brett Ratner. Linking from last night's film - Robert De Niro was in "Ronin" with Jean Reno, who was in "The Professional" with Natalie Portman.

THE PLOT: An anthology film joining several love stories set in one of the most loved cities of the world, New York.

AFTER: Yes, New York is a wonderful place - and people interact with people in all sorts of different ways - but I hesitate to call some of these vignettes "love stories". It seemed to me more like stories that shot off in all directions, trying to score a hit in the dark. Half of the stories were met with a "So what?" reponse from me - a man takes his daughter to the park. So what? An older couple goes for a walk. So what?

Two of the stories - the one about the pickpocket and the one about the older singer - just left me confused. And the one about the film composer who is told by a film director to read certain books annoyed me. You know, it's called research, and if you spent half the time reading the books as you did complaining about it, you might get somewhere.

I vowed to never spend any money on a film directed by my college frenemy, Brett Ratner. Which was only tough when he directed one of the "X-Men" movies - since he only directed one segment here, I'm bending my own rules just slightly. And although I heard his segment was controversial and considered in poor taste, at least the story went somewhere, which not all of the segments here did. I still hate his work, but it was slightly better than the average.

I'm grading on a curve tonight and awarding points for effort, but I wish that the segments had united somehow and proven some kind of larger point. Having characters from one segment interact with characters from another doesn't really count as an overall unifying element.

Starring Bradley Cooper (last seen in "Wedding Crashers"), Natalie Portman (last seen in "Closer"), Andy Garcia (last seen in "Stand and Deliver"), Hayden Christensen, Orlando Bloom (last seen in "Black Hawk Down"), Christina Ricci (last seen in "The Ice Storm"), Ethan Hawke (last seen in "Fast Food Nation"), James Caan (last seen in "Honeymoon in Vegas"), Anton Yelchin (last seen in "Terminator Salvation"), Julie Christie (last seen in "Finding Neverland"), Drea De Matteo, John Hurt, Shia LaBeouf, Chris Cooper (last seen in "A Time to Kill"), Robin Wright (last seen in "The Crossing Guard"), Eli Wallach (last seen in "The Two Jakes"), Cloris Leachman, and Maggie Q (last seen in "Live Free or Die Hard").

RATING: 4 out of 10 hot dogs

Falling in Love

Year 3, Day 51 - 2/20/11 - Movie #781

BEFORE: I wasn't able to organize my February films "perfectly" thanks to the birthdays (no arrangement is ever "perfect"...) but I was able to put three NYC-based romance movies together, this is the 2nd one. And the last four films are all calendar-based, whether the theme is 500 days or just a birthday. Like last night's film, this one details a one-year period in the life of a couple, but this one goes pre-Christmas to pre-Christmas.

Last night's film was a reunion of the couple from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (never seen it...), and this is sort of a reunion from "The Deer Hunter". Linking last night's cast to tonight's is just too easy - Judah Friedlander from "I Hate Valentine's Day" was in "Showtime" with Robert De Niro - there's no sport in that.

THE PLOT: While shopping for Christmas, Frank and Molly run into each other. This fleeting short moment will start to change their lives...

AFTER: Tonight's couple meets while shopping, but they're both commuters on the Metro-North and live in or near Dobbs Ferry, which is on the Hudson River, between Yonkers and Tarrytown (aka Sleepy Hollow). They enjoy each other's company, and strike up a friendship that leads to romance. Just two problems - his wife and her husband.

I don't know what I was expecting out of this one, but I ended up really ambivalent - not really liking it, but not finding fault with it either. I guess I expected more out of De Niro (last seen in "Ronin") and Meryl Streep (last seen in "Before and After"). I had a bit of a rom-com thing going, but there's no real comedy here. It's just a basic slice-of-life portrait of a potential affair. Plus there was the common mistake of not detailing WHY both people were unsatisfied with their marriages.

I was out at a beer dinner earlier this evening (a rare event for a Sunday...) so I'm amazed I was able to stay awake during this one.

Also starring Harvey Keitel (last seen in "Thelma & Louise"), Jane Kaczmarek (last seen in "The Chamber"), Dianne Weist (last seen in "I Am Sam"), David Clennon (last seen in "Legal Eagles"), plus Jesse Bradford (last seen in "Presumed Innocent") as one of De Niro's sons.

RATING: 5 out of 10 payphones.