Saturday, August 29, 2009

Escape From Alcatraz

Day 241 - 8/29/09 - Movie #237

BEFORE: I'm counting on Clint Eastwood to finally bust me loose -

THE PLOT: A dramatization of the one possibly successful escape from the notorious prison.

AFTER: Supposedly based on a true story - I recall even the Mythbusters did a segment on whether it's possible to float across the San Francisco Bay using raincoats held together with contact cement...

There's a certain irony in casting Patrick McGoohan as the warden of Alcatraz, since he's most famous for playing the title role on the TV show "The Prisoner"...

Clint Eastwood is like Steve McQueen - a real man's man - so I'm going to focus on Eastwood for the next few days. I already watched "High Plains Drifter", "Space Cowboys" and "Million Dollar Baby" in other chains. This won't be as long as DeNiroFest, since I plan to avoid all films with either Dirty Harry or orangutang co-stars.

RATING: 6 out of 10 bars of soap

Friday, August 28, 2009

Papillon

Day 240 - 8/28/09 - Movie #236

BEFORE: Almost done with prison films (and with August). New York's annual August heat wave finally broke, but it served its purpose - namely to enhance my viewing of films set in hot, stuffy prisons. Tonight's film is a classic (and another "buddy" film, that's 4 in a row) as Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman try to escape from a French prison colony in Guyana (which I thought was in Africa, but I guess is in South America - oh, well, there's my larnin' for the day...)

I remember reading the MAD magazine parody when I was a kid, but I've never seen the film...

THE PLOT: A man befriends a fellow criminal as the two of them begin serving their sentence on a dreadful prison island, which inspires the man to plot his escape.

AFTER: My all-time favorite Steve McQueen movie (and perhaps my favorite prison movie as well) is "The Great Escape", in which he plays an American soldier trying to escape from a Nazi POW camp. Each time he fails, he is sent to the "cooler" for a few days, where he bounces a baseball against the wall, and plans another escape attempt. In "Papillon", he plays (essentially) the same type of character - but after each failed escape, Papillon spends YEARS in solitary, getting older and crazier with each infraction.

Hoffman plays Louis Dega, a counterfeiter who pays Papillon for protection, since many of the prisoners and guards lost their fortunes buying Dega's phony war bonds. Oopsie... After several escape attempts, encountering con men, bounty hunters, lepers and shady nuns (this movie was sort of like an early version of "O Brother Where Art Thou", but without the music...) they end up on the infamous Devil's Island - old and infirm, but Papillon is still trying to escape. I suppose in the end it's sort of a metaphor for life - after all, no one gets out alive...

One more prison movie, then I'm tunneling out...

RATING: 7 out of 10 coconuts

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Happy, Texas

Day 239 - 8/26/09 - Movie #235

BEFORE: Wrapping up prison-break comedies with another film about convicts on the run.

THE PLOT: Two escaped convicts arrive in the town of Happy, Texas, where they are mistaken for a gay couple who has been hired to prepare the town's little girls for a beauty pageant.

AFTER: I found this rather charming, it had a bit of that "Raising Arizona" feel to it - like a lost Coen Brothers movie, mixed with a little bit of "Three's Company"... The two convicts are played by Steve Zahn and Jeremy Northam - Zahn I've seen in a bunch of films like "Safe Men" and "Sahara" (and heard in animated films like "Stuart Little" and "Chicken Little") but I've never seen Northam before... Zahn plays one of the greatest-ever named characters, Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr. - who has to take charge of training little girls for the "Little Miss Fresh Squeezed" pageant while his partner cases the town's bank. Partner as in "partner", since the two men are pretending to be a couple.

William H. Macy does a fine job as a small-town sheriff, who is inspired by the presence of a gay couple to come to terms with his own sexuality, and Ron Perlman plays the Marshal hunting for the escaped convicts - which also includes a third convict played by M.C. Gainey (last seen by me as a different convict, piloting the plane in "Con Air").

I liked that the pageant was a pretty good backdrop for the action, as both men manage to fall in love with (female) town residents - and the gay references weren't over the top. It's rare when a gay man isn't portrayed in a Hollywood film as a screaming drama-queeny stereotype - a peek at what a gay club in Texas might look like (cowboy hats and line-dancing) actually seems quite progressive and sort of possible.

RATING: 7 out of 10 flaming batons

Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

BEFORE: This week's theme seems to be "Ethnic Buddy Comedies where Two Men are Wrongfully Imprisoned" - this is #3 in a series... I wasn't too crazy about the first "Harold & Kumar" film, let's see if the sequel is any better.

THE PLOT: The cross-country adventures of the pot-smoking duo as they try to outrun authorities who suspect them of being terrorists when they try to sneak a bong on board their flight to Amsterdam.

AFTER: OK, it was good for a couple of chuckles, but that's about it. Most of this was really lowest-common-denominator humor - in-between the drug jokes, dick jokes and poop jokes, there's cheap humor at the expense of Arabs, Jews, Koreans, Southerners, Cubans and Republicans (OK, at least that last group deserves it...)

The only positive things were the guest stars - Rob Corddry steals the film as an over-zealous Homeland Security agent, with Ed Helms as his unnecessary translator. Also Neil Patrick Harris again, Beverly D'Angelo (F.O.H.) as a backwoods madam, and Christopher Meloni (who also guest-starred as a different character in the first movie) as a KKK Grand Wizard.

RATING: 3 out of 10 magic mushrooms

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Stir Crazy

Day 237 - 8/25/09 - Movie #233

BEFORE: Continuing with prison-based comedies - I've seen bits of this film before, but not the whole thing through, I think.

THE PLOT: Skip and Harry are framed for a bank robbery and end up in a western prison.

AFTER: Sure, it's a classic Gene Wilder/Richard Pryor comedy, but it's got some story problems. In a sense, it's a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be - a buddy comedy, a prison film, a rodeo contest - like they strung as many concepts as they could together...

I've got some plotholes that I can't get over - first we find out that Gene Wilder's character, Skip, born and raised in New York City, is somehow a champion-level rodeo bronco rider? Unlikely... And Meredith (JoBeth Williams) sees the real bank robbers in a strip club - somehow this leads her to the knowledge that Skip is in danger - huh? Logically this should lead to her turning in the real bank robbers to the cops, but we never see that part. And how do they plan such an elaborate escape from a rodeo arena, where they've never been before? Also, the warden wanted to win the rodeo, but why did the head guard want to sabotage it? It felt like there were some scenes missing that would have explained some of these things.

I know, I should just relax and enjoy the comedy, but I still want a consistent storyline! As for the comedy, there were bits that were obviously improvisations from Wilder and Pryor, and I just felt they went on a bit too long. While they were bouncing around and messing with the guards, pretending to be insane, wouldn't the guards have just beat them with their clubs? At times I sure wanted to...

RATING: 6 out of 10 cowboy hats

Monday, August 24, 2009

Life

Day 236 - 8/24/09 - Movie #232

BEFORE: Let's see, I've watched prison dramas, and prison action films - what about prison comedies?

THE PLOT: The story of two criminals (Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence) who discover the value of life after being sentenced to life imprisonment.

AFTER: I think this is proof that, handled properly, you can make a good comedy out of just about anything. The story of two men framed for murder and spending most of their lives working at hard labor in a prison doesn't sound like the framework for a good comedy at first, but if you put the right actors in it, with good chemistry, it just might work. It's really the interplay between Murphy and Lawrence that sells it - when they bicker at each other, or laugh together, or try to kill each other, it all feels sincere.

Co-starring Bernie Mac (last seen by me in "Mr. 3000"), R. Lee Ermey (last seen by me in "Dead Man Walking"), Bokeem Woodbine (last seen 2 nights ago in "The Rock"), Clarence Williams III (last seen by me in "Against the Wall"), Ned Beatty (last seen by me in "Silver Streak"), Anthony Anderson (last seen by me in...umm..."Law & Order"), and with a cameo by Rick James (last seen by me on the set of a music video in 1988, but that's another story...)

RATING: 7 out of 10 pieces of cornbread

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Con Air

Day 235 - 8/23/09 - Movie #231

BEFORE: OK, last night we broke INTO prison - now it's time to start breaking OUT. Should take me about a week...

THE PLOT: A newly released ex-con and former US Ranger finds himself trapped in a prisoner transport plane when the passengers seize control.

AFTER: It's a great idea - a planeload of murderers, rapists, etc. being taken to a new Supermax prison take over the plane - and Nicolas Cage is the only passenger who can alert the authorities, while pretending to go along with the plan. John Malkovich is Cyrus Grissom, the villain in charge, aided by convicts played by Ving Rhames, Dave Chappelle, Danny Trejo, and other character actors. John Cusack and Colm Meaney play the federal marshall and DEA agent tracking the plane down.

Again, I'm not an expert on action films, but this one seemed well put-together, even if the action was so over-the-top as to be unbelievable at times.

RATING: 8 out of 10 lockpicks