Day 114 - 4/24/09 - Movie #113
BEFORE: OK, so they're not mice, but they are talking (and singing) rodents. I never really liked Jason Lee in films, but he is great on "My Name Is Earl".
THE PLOT: A struggling songwriter named Dave Seville finds success when he comes across a trio of singing chipmunks: mischievous Alvin, brainy Simon, and chubby Theodore.
AFTER: Well, Jason Lee essentially is playing Earl Hickey here, as he spends the whole movie as a songwriter trying to make up for his mistakes, some of which occured before the film started, and some during. He gets upstaged and outshined, however, by David Cross as a slick record company executive.
Still, it's hard to justify this movie. Just because you CAN animate the chipmunks in CGI doesn't mean that it's a good idea. My proof is that, beyond their Christmas song and "Witch Doctor" (which isn't even an official Chipmunks song, it predated their creation), the munks are just a sped-up cover band. And you can't modernize "Witch Doctor", no matter how many hip-hop dancers and DJs you add to the performance. The chipmunks' rise to fame is unbelievable, even for a movie - do songs really chart via satellite radio in 1 day? - with some muddled lessons about the dark side of fame. The rodents get jazzed on caffeine in the recording studio - this is a kids movie, after all. But they just forgot to add the FUN.
RATING: 5 out of 10 acorns
Saturday, April 25, 2009
The Great Mouse Detective
Day 113 - 4/23/09 - Movie #112
BEFORE: So, the other night as I was watching "The Secret of NIMH", our cat Data jumps up on the bed with me, with a long tail sticking out of his mouth. I could not see what was inside his mouth, and Data would not spit out the (presumed) mouse long enough for me to catch it and remove it from the house, so now its whereabouts are unknown. Presumably Data played with his new toy and either "broke" it, or it's still somewhere in the basement.
THE PLOT: Basil, the rodent Sherlock Holmes, investigates the kidnapping of a toy-maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan.
AFTER: This Disney film is based on Conan Doyle, but it looks like they couldn't get the rights, since the main character is named "Basil of Baker Street", and Dr. Watson is named "Dawson" throughout. You know, I'm glad someone stood up to DisneyCorp. - they've strip-mined enough of Western literature and fairy tales over the years. Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan became "Disney's Tarzan", Victor Hugo's "Hunchback of Notre Dame" became "Disney's Hunchback", plus the Three Musketeers, "Mickey's Christmas Carol", etc. Well, you can't co-opt Sherlock Holmes! Anyway, for this film, there's just not much there - I'm not even sure what the villain's evil scheme actually was - and again, if I can't follow the story, how can a kid be expected to?
Vincent Price is fine as Moriarty - sorry, Ratigan - but the other voices are low-rent. I suspect this was done just to keep the Disney animators busy between real films.
RATING: 3 out of 10 wind-up toys
BEFORE: So, the other night as I was watching "The Secret of NIMH", our cat Data jumps up on the bed with me, with a long tail sticking out of his mouth. I could not see what was inside his mouth, and Data would not spit out the (presumed) mouse long enough for me to catch it and remove it from the house, so now its whereabouts are unknown. Presumably Data played with his new toy and either "broke" it, or it's still somewhere in the basement.
THE PLOT: Basil, the rodent Sherlock Holmes, investigates the kidnapping of a toy-maker and uncovers its link to his archenemy, Professor Ratigan.
AFTER: This Disney film is based on Conan Doyle, but it looks like they couldn't get the rights, since the main character is named "Basil of Baker Street", and Dr. Watson is named "Dawson" throughout. You know, I'm glad someone stood up to DisneyCorp. - they've strip-mined enough of Western literature and fairy tales over the years. Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan became "Disney's Tarzan", Victor Hugo's "Hunchback of Notre Dame" became "Disney's Hunchback", plus the Three Musketeers, "Mickey's Christmas Carol", etc. Well, you can't co-opt Sherlock Holmes! Anyway, for this film, there's just not much there - I'm not even sure what the villain's evil scheme actually was - and again, if I can't follow the story, how can a kid be expected to?
Vincent Price is fine as Moriarty - sorry, Ratigan - but the other voices are low-rent. I suspect this was done just to keep the Disney animators busy between real films.
RATING: 3 out of 10 wind-up toys
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Secret of NIMH
Day 112 - 4/22/09 - Movie #111
BEFORE: Animated talking rodent week continues with this Don Bluth animated film, based on a children's book that I remember from 6th grade. But I think the main character in the book was named Mrs. Frisby, and here she's named Mrs. Brisby - to avoid conflict with the Wham-O company? Oddly enough, I think my cat almost caught a mouse tonight, while I was watching this film -
THE PLOT: To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, whom she has a deeper link to than she ever suspected.
AFTER: It's tough for me to say how closely the film follows the book, since I read it (or perhaps it was read to me) so long ago. But these characters seem to spend half the movie introducing themselves to each other - then the other half is spent talking over each other and misunderstanding each other. I won't reveal the "secret" here, but it's portrayed so obliquely in the film that I don't see how kids can be expected to understand it. Comic relief is provided by Dom Deluise as the voice of Jeremy the Crow, the other voice actors, such as Derek Jacobi, seem to be all classically trained - it doesn't help. Every action is a struggle, every conversation is overdramatic, and every emotion exaggerated - it's like "Dragon's Lair" with mice. And no dragon.
RATING: 2 out of 10 pieces of string
BEFORE: Animated talking rodent week continues with this Don Bluth animated film, based on a children's book that I remember from 6th grade. But I think the main character in the book was named Mrs. Frisby, and here she's named Mrs. Brisby - to avoid conflict with the Wham-O company? Oddly enough, I think my cat almost caught a mouse tonight, while I was watching this film -
THE PLOT: To save her ill son, a field mouse must seek the aid of a colony of rats, whom she has a deeper link to than she ever suspected.
AFTER: It's tough for me to say how closely the film follows the book, since I read it (or perhaps it was read to me) so long ago. But these characters seem to spend half the movie introducing themselves to each other - then the other half is spent talking over each other and misunderstanding each other. I won't reveal the "secret" here, but it's portrayed so obliquely in the film that I don't see how kids can be expected to understand it. Comic relief is provided by Dom Deluise as the voice of Jeremy the Crow, the other voice actors, such as Derek Jacobi, seem to be all classically trained - it doesn't help. Every action is a struggle, every conversation is overdramatic, and every emotion exaggerated - it's like "Dragon's Lair" with mice. And no dragon.
RATING: 2 out of 10 pieces of string
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Stuart Little
Day 111 - 4/21/09 - Movie #110
BEFORE: Gonna stick with animated films for a while, and clear some films about animated mice off this list this week.
THE PLOT: The Little family adopts a charming young mouse named Stuart, but the family cat wants rid of him.
AFTER: Did you know that the screenplay for this film was written by M. Night Shyamalan? It's a little like Stephen King writing greeting cards... I know this was based on a classic children's story, but I have so many story-related questions - even if I buy into the premise of the film. If parents come home from the adoption agency with a mouse instead of a baby brother, isn't that the point when a kid should call some kind of social services? And if the adoption agency was so concerned about a mouse fitting into the household, how come they didn't ask the important question - "Do you have a cat?" And how come the humans in the film can converse with mice, but not with their pet cat? Yet the cats can talk to the mouse - it's all very confusing. I'm sorry, I just can't sweep all these plot-holes under the rug and enjoy the film.
Yes, the voices were well cast - Michael J. Fox as Stuart and Nathan Lane as Snowbell. Chazz Palminteri and Steve Zahn (who also did a voice in "Chicken Little") are well-cast as the voices of the alley cats. But the main draw for me was the number of "Hey, it's THAT guy" moments, with cameos by a whole mess of character actors + actresses - Jeffrey Jones, Brian Doyle-Murray, Harold Gould, Allyce Beasley, Kimmy Robertson, Estelle Getty, Julia Sweeney, Dabney Coleman, and the incomparable Taylor Negron. They were more interesting to me than watching Hugh Laurie and Geena Davis phoning it in.
RATING: 5 out of 10 crazy uncles.
BEFORE: Gonna stick with animated films for a while, and clear some films about animated mice off this list this week.
THE PLOT: The Little family adopts a charming young mouse named Stuart, but the family cat wants rid of him.
AFTER: Did you know that the screenplay for this film was written by M. Night Shyamalan? It's a little like Stephen King writing greeting cards... I know this was based on a classic children's story, but I have so many story-related questions - even if I buy into the premise of the film. If parents come home from the adoption agency with a mouse instead of a baby brother, isn't that the point when a kid should call some kind of social services? And if the adoption agency was so concerned about a mouse fitting into the household, how come they didn't ask the important question - "Do you have a cat?" And how come the humans in the film can converse with mice, but not with their pet cat? Yet the cats can talk to the mouse - it's all very confusing. I'm sorry, I just can't sweep all these plot-holes under the rug and enjoy the film.
Yes, the voices were well cast - Michael J. Fox as Stuart and Nathan Lane as Snowbell. Chazz Palminteri and Steve Zahn (who also did a voice in "Chicken Little") are well-cast as the voices of the alley cats. But the main draw for me was the number of "Hey, it's THAT guy" moments, with cameos by a whole mess of character actors + actresses - Jeffrey Jones, Brian Doyle-Murray, Harold Gould, Allyce Beasley, Kimmy Robertson, Estelle Getty, Julia Sweeney, Dabney Coleman, and the incomparable Taylor Negron. They were more interesting to me than watching Hugh Laurie and Geena Davis phoning it in.
RATING: 5 out of 10 crazy uncles.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Chicken Little
Day 110 - 4/20/09 - Movie #109
BEFORE: More talking barnyard animals tonight, but this time it's a modernized CGI version of a fairy-tale, with a bit of "War of the Worlds" mixed in.
THE PLOT: After ruining his reputation with the town, a courageous chicken must come to the rescue of his fellow citizens when aliens start an invasion.
AFTER: The voice casting is just spot-on, with Zach Braff as the title character, now with a "Scrubs"-style interior monologue, and Garry Marshall as the beleaguered father. Steve Zahn and Joan Cusack do well in supporting roles too. The story is completely over-the-top, but sometimes that's where a story needs to go. I suppose the old children's story, with just an acorn hitting Chicken Little on the head was rejected as "too boring". When the sky actually starts falling, in the form of an alien invasion, the movie kicks into high gear, but also becomes something of a frenetic mess. (Is this meant to be entertaining for kids with ADHD?) Unfortunately, the lesson about how parents should believe in their kids gets drowned out in the process.
RATING: 6 out of 10 flying saucers
BEFORE: More talking barnyard animals tonight, but this time it's a modernized CGI version of a fairy-tale, with a bit of "War of the Worlds" mixed in.
THE PLOT: After ruining his reputation with the town, a courageous chicken must come to the rescue of his fellow citizens when aliens start an invasion.
AFTER: The voice casting is just spot-on, with Zach Braff as the title character, now with a "Scrubs"-style interior monologue, and Garry Marshall as the beleaguered father. Steve Zahn and Joan Cusack do well in supporting roles too. The story is completely over-the-top, but sometimes that's where a story needs to go. I suppose the old children's story, with just an acorn hitting Chicken Little on the head was rejected as "too boring". When the sky actually starts falling, in the form of an alien invasion, the movie kicks into high gear, but also becomes something of a frenetic mess. (Is this meant to be entertaining for kids with ADHD?) Unfortunately, the lesson about how parents should believe in their kids gets drowned out in the process.
RATING: 6 out of 10 flying saucers
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Charlotte's Web 2: Wilbur's Great Adventure
Day 109 - 4/19/09 - Movie #108
BEFORE: I'm going to sneak in an extra movie today, in hopes of catching up a little bit, which is easier since I'm watching shorter animated features, plus I can now watch DVDs on my new computer, while doing other tasks.
THE PLOT: Wilbur meets Cardigan, a lonely lamb, and shows him the joys of farm life. When Farmer Zuckerman sells Cardigan, Wilbur realizes what he must do -joined by a cunning rat named Templeton, Wilbur and Charlotte's daughters set out on an unforgettable journey.
AFTER: This cel-animated film was made in 2003 as a sequel to the 1973 original - but it's got none of its heart. There are too many threats and obstacles (hungry fox, hungry farmer, looking for a lost friend) and a lot of cliches (the black sheep doesn't fit in, imagine that...). But all of this can apparently be overcome with a can-do attitude and a non-catchy 2nd-rate song. Three of Charlotte's spider-babies appear here, but they don't do much except ride around on Wilbur and complain about how useless they are. You could assign a second-grade class a project to write a story about a pig and three baby spiders, and they'd probably come up with something better than this.
For a brief moment, when Wilbur has a nightmare about being in a frying pan and served on a plate, I thought the movie might have some cojones to take a stand against the cruelty inherent in the farming industry, but nope - just another musical number without any point.
RATING: 2 out of 10 milk buckets
BEFORE: I'm going to sneak in an extra movie today, in hopes of catching up a little bit, which is easier since I'm watching shorter animated features, plus I can now watch DVDs on my new computer, while doing other tasks.
THE PLOT: Wilbur meets Cardigan, a lonely lamb, and shows him the joys of farm life. When Farmer Zuckerman sells Cardigan, Wilbur realizes what he must do -joined by a cunning rat named Templeton, Wilbur and Charlotte's daughters set out on an unforgettable journey.
AFTER: This cel-animated film was made in 2003 as a sequel to the 1973 original - but it's got none of its heart. There are too many threats and obstacles (hungry fox, hungry farmer, looking for a lost friend) and a lot of cliches (the black sheep doesn't fit in, imagine that...). But all of this can apparently be overcome with a can-do attitude and a non-catchy 2nd-rate song. Three of Charlotte's spider-babies appear here, but they don't do much except ride around on Wilbur and complain about how useless they are. You could assign a second-grade class a project to write a story about a pig and three baby spiders, and they'd probably come up with something better than this.
For a brief moment, when Wilbur has a nightmare about being in a frying pan and served on a plate, I thought the movie might have some cojones to take a stand against the cruelty inherent in the farming industry, but nope - just another musical number without any point.
RATING: 2 out of 10 milk buckets
Charlotte's Web (2006)
Day 109 - 4/19/09 - Movie #107
BEFORE: This is the 2006 live-action/CGI version, I watched the cel-animated film many times when I was a kid, so the story is very familiar. I'm curious to see if the remake was justified, but I'll have to break my long-standing ban on Dakota Fanning movies to find out.
THE PLOT: Wilbur the pig is scared because he knows that come Christmas, he will end up on the dinner table. He hatches a plan with Charlotte, a spider that lives in his pen, to ensure that this will never happen.
AFTER: On a technical level, the film works very well - the puppeteering and animation is very good. I spend a fair amount of time at work researching commercials with animated characters, so I've seen a lot of "talking animal" ads. From the end credits, it looks like a bunch of familiar (to me, anyway) companies worked on this - Stan Winston Studios, Phil Tippett Studios, Rhythm & Hues...and it seems each company only handled 1 or 2 different animals - interesting... I can't fault the voice-work either - if you need to replace Paul Lynde as the voice of Templeton the Rat, you couldn't do much better than Steve Buscemi. Lots of other big names here, like Julia Roberts, Oprah, Robert Redford, John Cleese, Kathy Bates...most worked well, except Julia Roberts' voice was maybe TOO soft and silky for a spider.
My main problem was the message, though - we all know where our meat comes from, and we all can assume that farms can be brutal places. It would be great if we could only eat animals after they all had long, happy lives and died of old age, but that's not reality. It's unrealistic to think that you can somehow save the world by sparing the life of one small pig. All Fern really did was to make her little corner of the world more comfortable for HER, in a somewhat selfish way, because she didn't want to see a runt die. Sure, it's noble to want to save all animals everywhere, but it's not practical. What happened to Wilbur's 10 siblings? They deserved to be eaten, and he didn't? I almost wish that the movie had taken a harder stance against meat, and Fern could have been portrayed more like Lisa Simpson - an results-oriented activist would be easier to deal with than a starry-eyed idealist.
My other quibble is with the music - you know those Danny Elfman scores in Tim Burton movies, where something magical happens, and the music swells to emphasize it? Well, this movie uses JUST those Danny Elfman swells, for what seems like the majority of the film, which ends up making the magical moments less special. Take a tip from American Idol contestants - start soft, and then crescendo...the Sarah McLachlan song in the end credits has the same problem - her voice breaks on EVERY syllable, so it's not special, it's just annoying.
RATING: 5 out of 10 goose eggs
BEFORE: This is the 2006 live-action/CGI version, I watched the cel-animated film many times when I was a kid, so the story is very familiar. I'm curious to see if the remake was justified, but I'll have to break my long-standing ban on Dakota Fanning movies to find out.
THE PLOT: Wilbur the pig is scared because he knows that come Christmas, he will end up on the dinner table. He hatches a plan with Charlotte, a spider that lives in his pen, to ensure that this will never happen.
AFTER: On a technical level, the film works very well - the puppeteering and animation is very good. I spend a fair amount of time at work researching commercials with animated characters, so I've seen a lot of "talking animal" ads. From the end credits, it looks like a bunch of familiar (to me, anyway) companies worked on this - Stan Winston Studios, Phil Tippett Studios, Rhythm & Hues...and it seems each company only handled 1 or 2 different animals - interesting... I can't fault the voice-work either - if you need to replace Paul Lynde as the voice of Templeton the Rat, you couldn't do much better than Steve Buscemi. Lots of other big names here, like Julia Roberts, Oprah, Robert Redford, John Cleese, Kathy Bates...most worked well, except Julia Roberts' voice was maybe TOO soft and silky for a spider.
My main problem was the message, though - we all know where our meat comes from, and we all can assume that farms can be brutal places. It would be great if we could only eat animals after they all had long, happy lives and died of old age, but that's not reality. It's unrealistic to think that you can somehow save the world by sparing the life of one small pig. All Fern really did was to make her little corner of the world more comfortable for HER, in a somewhat selfish way, because she didn't want to see a runt die. Sure, it's noble to want to save all animals everywhere, but it's not practical. What happened to Wilbur's 10 siblings? They deserved to be eaten, and he didn't? I almost wish that the movie had taken a harder stance against meat, and Fern could have been portrayed more like Lisa Simpson - an results-oriented activist would be easier to deal with than a starry-eyed idealist.
My other quibble is with the music - you know those Danny Elfman scores in Tim Burton movies, where something magical happens, and the music swells to emphasize it? Well, this movie uses JUST those Danny Elfman swells, for what seems like the majority of the film, which ends up making the magical moments less special. Take a tip from American Idol contestants - start soft, and then crescendo...the Sarah McLachlan song in the end credits has the same problem - her voice breaks on EVERY syllable, so it's not special, it's just annoying.
RATING: 5 out of 10 goose eggs
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