Always Be My Maybe

Year 13, Day 44 - 2/13/21 - Movie #3,746

BEFORE: Charlyne Yi carries over from "Paper Heart", so see that?  It all worked out.  If I had watched "Paper Heart" in a previous year, then I'd have no link to get here, or at least a different link to get here. 

I find myself at the intersection of Valentine's Day weekend and Lunar New Year - I promise that this was unintentional, to be watching a film with several Asian or Asian-American actors, but it happened.  See how the linking leads me where I need to be, even if I didn't plan it?  I mean, I might have known subconsciously that Lunar New Year, a holiday based on the Chinese calendar, might be somewhere around here, but I didn't actively know that was TODAY, or, umm, yesterday.  Originally "Paper Heart" was scheduled for Feb. 14, because that title sounded like another word for a Valentine's Day card, and it was (supposedly) a documentary about love.  But since I had to drop one film and move things around, that put a different film on Feb. 14, and that also put this one here.

I know, Randall Park is of Korean descent, and Ali Wong was born in America, but is part Chinese and Vietnamese, and quite honestly, I don't know which cultures celebrate Lunar New Year and which don't.  (Should probably look into that...)  Either way, though, the staff here at the Movie Year is committed to celebrating diversity in many forms, and in no way should my non-celebration of Black History Month or any other culture's holiday be taken as a slight - I'm just too busy with romances during February to also mark Black History Month, or MLK Day, or even President's Day, for that matter.  Mea culpa.  I condemn white privilege and white supremacy in all its forms (See, Donald, it's not difficult to say...)

THE PLOT: Everyone assumed Sasha and Marcus would wind up together - except for Sasha and Marcus. Reconnecting after 15 years, the two start to wonder - maybe? 

AFTER: There's a lot that gets covered here, some of which I've already seen covered this month, but there's some fresh stuff, too.  The thirty-something guy who can't quite seem to get his life together, that's not much different from characters in "The Giant Mechanical Man" or "I'll See You in My Dreams" or even "Almost Friends".  Marcus here is working with his dad in a small HVAC installation company, while fronting a Bay Area band that doesn't want to be that well-known outside a two-block radius. He may have good rhymes - or not, I can't really say - but his delivery needs work.  Perhaps it's meant to be ironic? 

Sasha, meanwhile, is a celebrity chef of sorts, with trendy Asian fusion restaurants in New York and L.A., but she comes back to her home of San Francisco to open a new trans-Asian concept place, whatever that means.  Renting a house for two months allows her friends to hire a company to install air conditioning and sneak Marcus back into the picture, as Sasha has recently taken her relationship with her publicist/manager to a new level - one where he's moved to Asia, they get to see other people and then (theoretically) come back together with a new perspective and maybe get married.  Really, the guy just wanted to break up with her and move away, only he pitched it as a very different concept.  That's pretty slick, to break it off with someone, while calling it something else. 

First, though, we see how the two bonded as childhood friends - Sasha's parents were always working, so she learned to cook dinner for herself (spam & rice - looks great!), but also she would often be invited to Marcus's house because his mother made too much soup for the family. As teenagers, they were still close, but after Marcus's mother died, they had awkward teen sex in the backseat of his car, and that led to an argument in Burger King, causing them to part ways.  

After Sasha returns to town, they fall back into a friendship, she comes to see his band perform, but things can only go so far because Marcus has a girlfriend (who's a terrible cook - though I'd probably be OK with Vienna sausages in Rice-a-Roni...) and Sasha somehow stumbles into a relationship with Keanu Reeves, who plays a fictionalized version of himself (another connection to yesterday's film).  It seems like Marcus and Sasha are destined to be nothing more than friends, but a horrible double-date at a super-trendy, mega-expensive restaurant somehow has a way of changing everyone's course.  Wedges are driven between Marcus and Keanu, and thus also between Sasha and Keanu, and maybe even between Marcus and his girlfriend Jenny - that's one really divisive party game!  It's a bit like "Truth or Dare" meets "Never Have I Ever", and everyone's secrets are revealed.  Thankfully, it also manages to get Marcus and Sasha back on the relationship track, if only Marcus is willing to take that big growing-up step, and Sasha is willing to reconsider her pretentious restaurant concept for something more down-to-earth. 

Despite the ridiculous nature of some elements here, the main story is, I think, fairly believable.  And the high-end restaurant business may be an easy target, but it's definitely one that needs to be taken down a peg.  Too many foams, airs and crystallized flavor bubbles out there, if you ask me. How many people in the audience can relate, though, with spending a few grand on a seven-course meal and still leaving the restaurant hungry?  It's OK, as long as Keanu's picking up the tab.  (Keanu Reeves is also partially of Chinese descent - so I think culturally speaking, I'm in the clear here.  Happy Lunar New Year, Keanu!  I promise that the new "Bill & Ted" movie is on my watchlist, and I'll get to it as soon as I don't have to pay more than $3.99 to see it.  I could watch it now for $5.99, but, you know, romance chain right now.) 

Nice plug here for the Fairmont Hotel - Keanu's character has a penthouse suite there, and the view is amazing.  I went there on my one day trip to San Francisco, because I'd heard about the incredible Tonga Room, where it rains indoors to simulate a tropical rain forest.  Just wanted to have a cocktail there to follow Anthony Bourdain's path from his "The Layover" series, but I neglected to check to see what days the lounge was open, and it turned out to be closed on Tuesdays. (This was just slightly pre-Yelp, I think...). I was very disappointed, but I found another place to get a tropical cocktails and then drowned my sorrows at the House of Prime Rib. Actually, the whole walking tour was to make up for the fact that I'd been invited to visit Skywalker Ranch in 2012 after Comic-Con, but my visit got cancelled because of George Lucas' retirement press conference.  I made the best of my time in S.F., but somebody still owes me something for all the cancellations.  I also noticed the Palace of Art making an appearance here, that was the second place I went in town, after the ILM office in the Presidio.  

Also starring Ali Wong (last seen in "Birds of Prey"), Randall Park (last seen in "Long Shot"), James Saito (ditto), Michelle Buteau, Vivian Bang (last seen in "Yes Man"), Keanu Reeves (last seen in "Replicas"), Susan Park, Daniel Dae Kim (last seen in "Addicted to Love"), Karan Soni (last seen in "Rough Night"), Lyrics Born (last seen in "Sorry to Bother You"), Casey Wilson (last seen in "Killers"), Raymond Ma, Peggy Lu (last seen in "Venom"), Miya Cech, Ashley Liao, Emerson Min, Jackson Geach (last seen in "Baywatch"), Anaiyah Bernier, Simon Chin, Panta Mosleh, Karen Holness, Peter New (last seen in "1922"). 

RATING: 6 out of 10 Gubi chairs

Paper Heart

Year 13, Day 43 - 2/12/21 - Movie #3,745

BEFORE: I've been aware of this film for some time, and have made vague plans to include it in previous years' romance chains, but then it has never really fit anywhere - though I could have worked it in last year between films with Martin Starr, I suppose ("Save the Date" and "Lemon") or Seth Rogen ("You, Me and Dupree" and "Long Shot").  But it's maybe a good thing that I didn't, because that would have put me over by one film in 2020, and I wouldn't be able to use the film now, when I need it to make a crucial link.  See, these things have a funny way of working out.

But this film was on Hulu for a long while, and I just figured I'd find it there when I needed it - I guess maybe it wasn't there for me last February, because now it's on AmazonPrime and free on Tubi.  We're very close to the point where EVERY film is streaming somewhere, even if it's not on the platform you saw it on before.  Welcome to my world. 

Martin Starr carries over one more time from "A Good Old Fashioned Orgy". 

THE PLOT: Charlyne Yi embarks on a quest across America to make a documentary about a subject she doesn't fully understand: love. 

AFTER: I've heard various things about this film over the years, some good and some bad, also I went into watching it knowing that there's been much discussion over how "real" it is as a documentary.  I suppose you can ask this question about ANY documentary, and the question is always complicated by the filmic version of quantum physics - the act of observation, especially with a camera and sound crew - is bound to have some effect on the situation being observed.  And so many documentary filmmakers, even going back to the early days of film, when they realized their presence had some effect on the thing they were filming, resorted to "staging" the scenes that were necessary to prove their points. (The early Disney nature documentaries were notorious for this, namely the best way to get footage of one animal eating another animal was to set up the shot first, then basically use the prey like bait to get the shot.  Otherwise waiting for HOURS for one animal to eat another right in front of the camera was simply wasting too much film.)

So going in to any doc, my senses are on high alert - unless, of course, the film uses only interview and archive footage, which is the technique that a lot of the rock and roll-themed docs I've watched have used.  (There are years of MTV News footage stories just WAITING to be used...it's a wonder that Kurt Loder wasn't the most-frequently appearing person in my 2018 year-end round-up.)  "Paper Heart" instead uses a combination of interviews with long-time couples, mixed with the (probably) mockumentary-style story of Charlyne Yi's romance with Michael Cera - and to this day, there's no solid confirmation or whether they were in love IRL, or just for the film, or were friends pretending to be dating, or what.  I wish I could just roll with it and say, "Whatever, it doesn't matter, as long as an entertaining story is being told..." but I just can't. I hate being punked, so I need to know what was real and what wasn't.

I realize there was a whole trend there of actors playing fictionalized versions of themselves, perhaps it started with "Being John Malkovich" and then kind of snowballed from there, into films like "This Is the End" (also with Michael Cera) and Coogan/Brydon in "The Trip" and its sequels, Bill Murray as zombie Bill Murray in "Zombieland" (also "A Very Murray Christmas") and the prank nightmare that was Joaquin Phoenix in "I'm Still Here".  I'm sure there are plenty that I'm leaving out - ohh, like Neil Patrick Harris in the "Harold & Kumar" movies.  But let me focus back on Charlyne and Michael - were they really a couple, or just going along with a set of improvised ideas that fit into this story's framework?

What it boils down to for me is this - is Charlyne Yi being serious or is she always non-serious? I can't tell if she's doing a "bit" and being herself, or trying to be a different version of herself, because she seems too uncomfortable for either one.  I can see that some people might find her a-dork-able, but I feel like I need to know what's real and what isn't here, so what's up?  Is she pretending to be dumb?  I can't tell. There's another actor that I have this problem with, a comedian named Joe Pera. I've seen him on a couple late-night talk shows, and he has a very slow speaking manner, as if he's a very simple person, or perhaps someone pretending to be dumb for comic effect - and it drives me crazy, the not knowing.  Yi's reaction to things just don't feel real, which isn't bad acting necessarily, if she's genuinely in situations where she just doesn't know how to react, it could be "non-acting" instead.  But for a non-actor to suddenly try to act, it's just not going to feel right (see also Hayden Christensen. ZING!)

The whole premise is that she wants to go and interview people because she doesn't really understand "love" as a concept.  How is this possible?  Doesn't she love her parents, has she never had a pet or a toy that she really enjoyed, that's a form of love, isn't it?  I can justify asking long-term couples about this topic, but why do schoolchildren in a playground know more about love than she does, and she's an adult?  OK, you say, maybe she's never been in a romantic relationship, which I'll admit, is possible. Again, she's a dork, I get it, and that's OK.  But there are so many movies about love, nearly every SONG is about love, what is she not getting?  I don't have to have served in a war to know that getting shot on a battlefield would probably suck and I'd then probably die, there are many many movies about that happening!

Derp, derp, I don't understand love...what is it?  It's NOT complicated!  Look it up in the damn dictionary, or read a damn book!  You want to know what love is?  Do you want me to show you?  Do you want to FEEL what love is?  Love is, quite simply, putting someone else's needs in front of your own.  That means anything from helping out with the dishes to letting your spouse choose the restaurant, to watching the TV show they want to watch, and just watching the show or movie you want to watch later, after they've gone to bed.  Cooking (or ordering) dinner once in a while, being there to support them when they need you, or just listening to them tell you about their day - THAT'S LOVE!  You can also get together with someone and break up, some people find that's the easiest way to define it because "You don't know what you've got until it's gone", or something to that effect, but it's better to be in it and be nice and considerate and thoughtful and allow it to continue, without forcing it.  You may not be able to fully appreciate it while you're in it, but being in it is better than being out of it, and being aware of what you're missing. 

In terms of finding love, recognizing love and holding on to love, I think back on my college years, when I was making my first feeble attempts at dating, and I equate it with learning to ice skate. Go into it KNOWING that you're going to fall down, a lot. That doesn't make it easier, that doesn't make it less painful, but at least you'll be more cognizant of it, and perhaps you can even learn to fall down gracefully, if that's possible.  Fall down, get up.  Fall down again, get up again. I probably had five or six false starts before I was in a real relationship, and I made the mistake of beating myself up after each one - don't do that.  Just accept that, like ice skating, it's hard, it takes practice, try to get used to falling down, and realize pain is your friend at that point, because you will eventually learn what not to do, which things cause pain, and then you can try to avoid those things, and then you're skating!  Now, there are regular ice skaters and Olympic-level ice skaters, so it's also important to know what class you're in before you hurt yourself doing a triple axel or something.  Also, even if you become a champion figure skater, the champions still fall down, or Tonya Harding gets them clubbed in the kneecaps, so even the smartest people with the most knowledge about relationships can still find themselves curled up on the floor into a little ball, screaming "Why me?" like Nancy Kerrigan.  But hey, that's love. 

Also starring Charlyne Yi (last seen in "The Disaster Artist"), Michael Cera (last seen in "A Very Murray Christmas"), Jake Johnson (last seen in "Drinking Buddies"), Seth Rogen (last seen in "Drillbit Taylor"), Demetri Martin (last seen in "Dean"), Derek Waters (last seen in "Girlfriend's Day"), Paul Rust, Paul Scheer (last seen in "Opening Night"), Matthew Bass, Luciano Yi, Lydia Yi, Brendan Paul, Charolette Richards, James Lattig, Kim Williams, Don Emerson, Sally Emerson, Bob Sullivan, Lois Sullivan, Dan Edelstein, Mary Ann Edelstein, Sidney Hardy, Mary Beth Hardy, Sarah Baker, David Sartor, John Pivovarnick, Kristi Manna, Bill Warner. 

RATING: 4 out of 10 Las Vegas weddings

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

Year 13, Day 42 - 2/11/21 - Movie #3,744

BEFORE:  Martin Starr carries over from "I'll See You in My Dreams" - and you might notice that Lucy Punch is appearing for the third time this February, yet none of her movies are linked together - what's happening there?  Well, remember that I had to drop one film, "How to Build a Girl" - today's film was originally going to be watched last week, and Lucy Punch was going to be used as a connector, but then things changed, and this one had to be re-scheduled.  The easiest thing was to slot it in between two other films with Martin Starr.  

In a couple weeks, though, there will be a film with Jason Sudeikis (who appears tonight), Jenna Fischer (from "The Giant Mechanical Man") and Richard Jenkins (from "Happythankyoumoreplease") - what's going on there?  Why doesn't that film connect to any of the others, how does that make sense?  Well, first of all, that film is fulfilling an important function in March, it's connecting two other films, via two other links, and if that film weren't THERE instead of HERE, then there would be a gap.  Besides, that way madness lies - once i've got the linking the way I want it, I have to stop second-guessing myself, or else I'd be constantly tearing the schedule apart and putting it back together again, and nobody wants that, least of all me.  

So the schedule is FINE, there are always going to be connections that I don't make or follow-up on, I just have to acknowledge them and stop trying to make things "better".  I'm on track to hit St. Patrick's Day and Easter films right on the button, so I'm going to just enjoy that and try to keep the schedule just the way it is. I should devote my energy instead to figuring out what comes after Easter, and also patrolling the streaming services for new films to add to my list.

THE PLOT: A group of 30-year-olds who have been friends since high school attempt to throw and end-of-summer orgy.  

AFTER: Look, I'll be honest, I wasn't sure if this one qualified as a "romance" film, given the subject matter - where does romance even fit in during an orgy, if that in fact is what takes place here?  The truth is, this film has been clogging up my DVR for over a year, and I stashed it here in February to get rid of it.  But some love and romance does enter in to the plot here, one character finds a shot at a real relationship just weeks before the planned bacchanalia, and thus he's conflicted about his participation. A recently-married couple who are friends with the planners gets upset that they were NOT invited to the orgy - point of order, the planners were trying to keep things not complicated, and they figured a married couple might not want to participate, and if they did, jealousy and infidelity would enter into the picture.  And then there are a couple characters who find love BECAUSE of the orgy, and that's a whole other level of complication.  (If things work out and they have children, what will they tell those kids about how Mommy and Daddy met?)

It's a whole different world out in the Hamptons, or so I hear, and this is where all those wealthy Manhattanites that you love to hate ride out to on the Jitney EVERY weekend to have those killer parties at their summer homes.  For the rest of us, we just like how not crowded the city is during the summer, how you can maybe get a table at a nice restaurant or tickets to that concert at Jones Beach, because everyone who could get out to the Hamptons is there.  This was all pre-pandemic, of course, and it's possible that some of those rich New Yorkers have been hiding out all winter at the summer house because it's bigger and they can tele-commute to their marketing jobs, and maybe they don't even need the Manhattan apartment any more, the rent's ridiculously high anyway.  Well, good riddance, enjoy being snowed in near a useless beach and getting your groceries delivered by Amazon.  Probably Blue Apron, though, or one of those Keto Diet meal services, because they can afford it.

But speaking of the pandemic, the whole concept of the orgy is pre-pandemic, because you're only supposed to interact with people inside your bubble, and if you weren't sexually active with that person (or those people) before, fat chance of that happening now.  There have been reports, though, of underground orgies taking place, in direct violation of social distancing rules, and a few have led to arrests and prosecution.  Really, is that what you want to be arrested for, do you want THAT on your permanent record, that you went to a sex club or a swingers party and you didn't wear a mask?  Jeez, if you're that horny just watch some porn and take matters into your own hands.  But I guess for some people there's nothing like human interaction, even if it goes against good sense, anti-pandemic practices and also local decency laws.  Forget the Super Bowl parties, and orgy is really the ultimate super-spreader event (in more ways than one, if you get my meaning...)

But tonight we're looking back at the heady, careless days of 2011, the time of the Japanese Earthquake, the end of the Iraq War, and Charlie Sheen's meltdown.  Obama was President, all things were still possible, and Lady Gaga had just released "Born This Way".  Somehow all of that justifies a group of friends planning an orgy, I guess. Eric is the group leader, and he's known for his outrageously-themed Hampton parties, like the "White Trash Bash" on July 4 weekend.  But in the aftermath, Eric's father arrives on scene to announce that he's selling the Hamptons house - makes sense, the property values were still going up then.  But that means an end to the parties for Eric and his entitled friends - where will they drink now, and eat bean dip out of a toilet centerpiece? 

The excuse that this group of friends finally lands on, their reason why they DESERVE an orgy, is that they grew up during the age of AIDS, to young to be a part of the generation of "free love" and too old to be part of the New Millennials, gen Y or Z or whatever letter they're on now, who supposedly have this bracelet-based subculture where charms of certain cultures can be exchanged for various sex acts, also girls are empowered now, only those two systems seem to be somewhat in conflict with each other. I'd really check it out on Snopes.com before you go propositioning a teen based on the color of her bracelet.  Really, if you want to have an orgy, just have a damn orgy, why all the neurotic navel-gazing and attempts at justifying it, just to make sure that I still like these characters?  Sorry, that ship already sailed, I pretty much already hate them just because of their jobs and their party lifestyle - did they all forget to grow up or something?  

Even after Eric realizes that he could have something positive and long-lasting with Kelly, he still goes ahead with planning the orgy, justifying that by slowing down the dating progress with Kelly - after all, he can't be held accountable for anything that happens before they've got any kind of exclusive commitment, right?  Oh, sure, the whole world should re-adjust their timetables to maximize your chances of balling your female friends, nice.  This is a bit like saying that cheating on your wife is OK, as long as she doesn't know about it.  He's pre-bending the excuses for his own benefit. I guess maybe everybody does that once in a while, but that doesn't make it right. 

There is an orgy scene here, eventually, though there are a few false starts to the festivities - the post-"Me" generation has plenty of hang-ups and issues to work through, apparently.  Meanwhile, people who are a little bit older have already worked things out, and they meet late at night in the back of a mattress store that serves as a de facto swingers' club.  Once you reach your 40's or 50's it seems you either don't care any more about society's rules, or you've been through enough relationship troubles that you just want to get laid once in a while and don't need all the personal hassles that come with commitment.  Umm, congratulations, I guess?  

And so for one magical night in the Hamptons, everybody (eventually) gets what they need, work out all their lingering body and performance issues, and then either vow to never speak of the event again, or in some cases were so wasted that they don't even remember it.  And every woman is like 70% lesbian once she lets herself go there, and every man is like 10% gay if he ever lets himself go there.  Honestly, I'd like to see some more concrete data on that - we may be moving there slowly as a society, but really it's the youngsters that are more gender-fluid and bi-curious, not the older folks.  Then again, a LOT of alcohol was consumed here, so maybe that had something to do with it, and skewed the results. 

Also starring Jason Sudeikis (last seen in "Booksmart"), Leslie Bibb (last seen in "Movie 43"), Lake Bell (last heard in "The Secret Life of Pets 2"), Michelle Borth (last seen in "Shazam!"), Nick Kroll (last heard in "The Addams Family" (2019)), Tyler Labine (last seen in "The Boss"), Angela Sarafyan (last seen in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2"), Lindsay Sloane (last seen in "Darling Companion"), Lucy Punch (last seen in "The Giant Mechanical Man"), Will Forte (last seen in "The Laundromat"), Lin Shaye (last seen in "Snakes on a Plane"), Rhys Coiro (last seen in "Hustlers"), David Koechner (last seen in "Drillbit Taylor"), Don Johnson (last seen in "Knives Out"), Barbara Weetman (last seen in "Tammy"), Bob Hungerford.

RATING: 5 out of 10 commemorative t-shirts

I'll See You in My Dreams

Year 13, Day 41 - 2/10/21 - Movie #3,743

BEFORE: Romance film #10 for this season - but that means I'm only 25% of the way through.  Even with cutting my chain short to re-direct to a proper Irish film for St. Patrick's Day, I've still got about 30 romance-based films to go.  I still reserve the right to shoot myself before it's over - maybe I'll feel differently when I hit the big Valentine's Day section this coming weekend. 

Malin Akerman carries over again from "Happythankyoumoreplease" - it's good to see that her eyebrows grew back...

THE PLOT: A widow and former songstress discovers that life can begin anew at any age. 

AFTER: Admittedly, the focus of romance films is usually on the young people, but I've been mixing it up a bit this year.  Sure, it's MOSTLY been about people in their 20's and maybe 30's finding love, but there was a senior citizen couple in "Little Italy", and then there was also "Manglehorn" a couple days ago.  Tonight's film is about an older woman, a widow, who hasn't had a serious relationship since her husband died about twenty years ago.  For a woman, I'd believe that, some women seem very independent - I don't think I could last six months without being in a relationship, let alone twenty years!  I mean, I know I could do it if I'd have to, I'd just rather not because I'd end up talking to the cat - and worse, expecting some kind of answer. 

I was a little worried that Malin Akerman wasn't going to show up here, they waited a long time to introduce her into the story - but then I remembered that Carol had an adult daughter, who kept leaving phone messages about how she was planning to come and visit - so I figured that was probably a character played by Ms. Akerman.  Then I wondered if Katherine, the daughter, would turn out to be the celebrity owner of a popular but overpriced lifestyle brand of cosmetics and personal products, but no, that would be Blythe Danner's daughter IRL. LOL. JK.  

A lot happens at the start of this film - Carol has to put her elderly dog down, she encounters a large rat in her modest SoCal home, and she forms a friendship with her pool cleaner.  Carol also spends time visiting her friends and playing cards at a nearby retirement village, and a dashing elderly gentleman flirts with her in a vitamin store.  Later, after a futile round of "speed dating" at the retirement community, that same man, Bill, drives by her in the parking lot and asks her out.  But before he calls to set up the date, Carol goes out for drinks and karaoke with Lloyd, the much younger pool boy.  

The friendship with Lloyd is just that, a friendship.  Right?  I mean, Carol's obviously got her eyes on Bill, and the age difference means that a relationship with Lloyd is out of the question.  Right?  But should it be?  And how does Lloyd feel about Carol, he never really says - maybe he sees her as something of a mother figure, but that in itself doesn't preclude them dating.  It would be a whole different film if Carol dated Lloyd, sure, but it's not 100% out of the question.  Right?  But before long Bill and Carol have dinner, and they also go out on his boat, and they start bonding over past histories and a few shared experiences, and then all seems like it's on a proper path.  

Carol and her old-lady friends get high on marijuana and go shopping for a bunch of snacks.  Old people! They're just like us! Carol and Bill get a bit more serious, and Lloyd happens to visit while they're having breakfast, and even though he wasn't in the running for Carol's affections, he still gets the hint to bow out of the picture.  Oddly, this is the second film in a row to feature a woman knowing two men with the same first name - Carol's dead husband was also named Bill, and in yesterday's film, Annie had to call her new boyfriend "Sam #2" since she also had a best friend named Sam.  That's an odd coincidence, did two screenwriters just stumble on the same idea?  

What happens to Carol and Bill is hardly idyllic, but hey, at least it can be called realistic.  This film is all about finding the strength to move on from tragedy, whether that takes you days, weeks, or twenty years.  You can always try again when you're ready, the film punctuates that by showing Carol adopting a new dog from a shelter at the end.  But I'm struggling a bit to figure out the meaning of the rat in Carol's house, was that a metaphor for something, and if so, for what?  Loneliness?  Reality? 

I saw a quote today from Christopher Plummer in an extensive obituary - the 91-year old actor died very recently - and it was something about how when you get to a point in your life when there are more years behind than there are to come, you have to decide how to use your limited time left wisely, and that's really what this film is about, in the end. 

Also starring Blythe Danner (last seen in "Hearts Beat Loud"), Martin Starr (last seen in "Playing It Cool"), Sam Elliott (last heard in "Lady and the Tramp" (2019)), June Squibb (last seen in "Father Figures"), Rhea Perlman (last seen in "Lemon"), Mary Kay Place (last heard in "Downsizing"), Mark Adair-Rios, Aarti Mann (last seen in "Danny Collins"), Reid Scott (last seen in "Late Night"), Max Gail (last seen in "The Hero"), Caroline Lagerfelt, Ashley Spillers (last seen in "War Dogs"). 

RATING: 6 out of 10 hands of bridge

Happythankyoumoreplease

Year 13, Day 40 - 2/9/21 - Movie #3,742

BEFORE: We interrupt this romance chain for a quick check-in on political and pandemic matters.  Trump's second impeachment trial started today, and I watched for several hours, then I'll probably catch the re-cap on MSNBC after tonight's movie (which is really tomorrow's movie, of course...).  The opening debate on the constitutionality of the proceedings seemed like a slam-dunk to me, that 13-minute video of the January 6 Capitol invasion, along with precedents set by previous impeachment trials from the 1800's was quite compelling.  By comparison, Trump's lawyers looked like complete nincompoops, their arguments against the process were basically, "Hey, wouldn't you Congressmen rather be verifying new cabinet members?" and "Haven't there already been ENOUGH impeachments over the last couple of decades?"  Those don't exactly strike me as valid legal arguments, but, hey, I'm not an expert.  It might be interesting to see how far this one goes, assuming it goes somewhere. 

As for the COVID update, things seem to be going well, statistics are going down in many places, and NYC restaurants are going to open up again for indoor dining in just three days, to get that all-important Valentine's Day weekend business.  We live in Queens with a car, so driving out to Long Island is fairly easy for us, so we've been able to eat inside a restaurant about once a month - it will be nice when we don't have to cross county lines to do that.  But there could be another bump if too many people gathered together to watch the Super Bowl, and then there are those tricky variants to deal with, so the future is still uncertain. 

My wife and I will both be eligible to get vaccinated as of February 15, meaning we can try to book appointments starting on February 14.  I think it makes more sense to try a large-scale venue like Citi Field, which has thousands of appointments per day, but she would prefer a smaller pharmacy that we could walk to - but we agree we should book the earliest appointments possible, so we'll find out which of our theories is correct.  I admit that if more people try to book at the larger venue with the most appointments to improve their chances, then that becomes the worst place to get an appointment - this is based on the "Closest bathroom is probably cleaner" theory.  (Some people prefer to use the furthest bathroom because they think it's less used and cleaner, but if everyone in the building believes this, then it becomes the most-used and therefore potentially most un-clean bathroom.)

In order to qualify next week and book an appointment, we will need to bring proof of underlying medical conditions - for me, that's high blood pressure and a high BMI - basically, obesity.  I'll have to allow New York State to certify me as fat in order to get a vaccination sooner.  I think it's probably worth it, plus it is technically true, I just hate that this is the hoop I'll have to jump through (OK, step through) in order to get protected from COVID-19 as soon as possible.  But I'm all for reading all the fine print and following the rules when it's to my benefit to do so.

Malin Akerman carries over from "The Giant Mechanical Man". 

THE PLOT: Young people on the cusp of truly growing up, tiring of their reflexive cynicism, each in their own ways struggling to connect and define what it means to love and be loved.  

AFTER: This is sort of in the same vein as "The Female Brain" and "The Giant Mechanical Man", in that every character in the film is screwed up romantically, nobody's got it all figured out for sure, and we're seeing them all at some kind of momentous personal crossroads, when they realize that they SHOULD have this part of their life figured out, and end up taking desperate steps to resolve things in some manner.  They're all connected somehow, even if those connections are somewhat tenuous - Sam is the main character, and he's close platonic friends with Annie, he's also "cousins" with Mary Catherine - but the kind of cousins where their mothers were close friends and they sort of grew up together.  Seems a lot like an excuse to have three main characters, plus their romantic partners, equalling six people with various personal problems, aka a hipster version of "Friends".  

Sam is trying to work up the nerve to talk to that attractive waitress at the bar, but can't seem to do it.  Enter Rasheen, a young boy who gets separated from his foster mother on the subway, and Sam decides to help him out, get him home, or bring him to the police or something.  Only he doesn't do that, he takes him home and lets Rasheen stay in his apartment, even brings him to the bar so he can break the ice with that waitress.  This is wrong on several levels, probably even illegal, and his friends keep urging him to do the right thing and bring the kid to social services, only he doesn't do that, just gives the kid crayons and colored pencils and encourages him to draw.  Then he invites Mississippi (the waitress) to live with him for three days, even though they just met.  Only he won't go and see her sing on stage, because of some bad experience he had during college dating an actress who wasn't very good.  This is kind of a problem, having Sam as the main character, because he did several things that made me not like him. 

Annie, meanwhile, works for a non-profit organization in the donation department, and gets back together with her ex-boyfriend, against her better judgment, and it does not go well.  However, this prompts her to believe that she may be continually drawn to the wrong sort of partner, the "bad boy" theory, and so she decides to date a totally different kind of person, a lawyer who works for the same company who seems to be really into her, only he's very nerdy and a bit awkward.  He's also named Sam, and she's avoided dating him because her best friend has the same name, and this could be too confusing. Her solution is simple, though, she just calls the new Sam "Sam #2".  Also, Annie is suffering from hair loss.  

And Mary Catherine is living with Charlie, but Charlie has received a business opportunity, to move to L.A. and run some kind of business with Dave.  But Mary doesn't want to leave NYC, because of all the great culture - restaurants, museums, theater, etc.  Charlie points out that they never go to museums or shows, so it makes more sense to leave New York and visit once in a while, which could impel them to do all of those fun things. I kind of see both points - I've lived in NYC for 35 years, and I have done a lot of fun cultural things, but it's also impossible to do them all or even many of them on a regular basis.  Still, it's comforting to know that they're THERE, and that I could visit a great museum or a fancy restaurant or see a play if the mood strikes.  After they all re-open, that is.  And their situation gets more complicated when Mary Catherine suspects that she might be pregnant.  

It's another festival-favorite film tonight, this was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the 2010 Sundance Festival, and did win an Audience Award there for Josh Radnor's performance. (Radnor also wrote and directed this, two years before directing "Liberal Arts", which I watched last year.). In a film festival fave, there's no real guarantee that things will work out for the best, so it's a bit surprising that this is also a romantic comedy where things manage to work out (more or less) for the best.  Festival films tend to be a bit on the darker side, but then again, this is about a bunch of hipsters with personal problems, so I guess it all fits. 

There are still lingering questions, of course, like if Sam hasn't had much success as a writer, then how does he afford that Manhattan apartment?  And why didn't Rasheen's foster family try to track him down, go to the next subway stop looking for him, or report him missing to the police?  What did Annie's non-profit organization, you know, DO? And did anybody ever fall for that "Three night stand" trick?  More to the point, when will NYC museums, cabarets and bars be able to open up again?  In the meantime, hipsters, remember that you can still buy beer and drink alone at home - in fact, it's a lot cheaper!

Also starring Josh Radnor (last seen in "Liberal Arts"), Kate Mara (last seen in "127 Hours"), Pablo Schreiber (last seen in "Den of Thieves"), Zoe Kazan (last seen in "The Ballad of Buster Scruggs"), Michael Algieri, Tony Hale (last seen in "The 15:17 to Paris"), Peter Scanavino (last seen in "Frances Ha"), Bram Barouh, Dana Barron, Sunah Bilsted, Jimmy Gary Jr., Richard Jenkins (last seen in "The Cabin in the Woods"), Mama Kohn, Maria Elena Ramirez, Maryann Urbano (last seen in "Norman"), Fay Wolf. 

RATING: 5 out of 10 celebrity photos at the Carnegie Deli

The Giant Mechanical Man

Year 13, Day 39 - 2/8/21 - Movie #3,741

BEFORE: OK, Super Bowl watched, snacks consumed, commercials judged, and now it's back to the Romance Chain - and the countdown to Valentine's Day next Sunday.  

Chris Messina carries over from "Manglehorn", that's four in a row for him, but that's his limit on romantic movies, it seems - new link tomorrow. 

THE PLOT: An offbeat romantic comedy about a silver-painted street performer and the soft-spoken zoo worker who falls for him. 

AFTER: After three appearances in supporting roles (lead's father's lawyer, lead's furniture customer, and lead's investment banker son) Chris Messina finally takes center stage tonight as half of this movie's lead couple.  He plays Tim, a man who puts on silver make-up and stilts every day and stands somewhere in downtown Detroit, waiting for someone on the street to pay him money to do his "mechanical man" routine, which is really just a variation on the "robot" dance. 

Perhaps there's not much money in being a mechanical man street performer, but Tim's got his own reasons for doing this, which are revealed when he's interviewed on the local news by their "man on the street" human interest reporter.  Tim believes that modern life can be alienating, that many people are just mindlessly walking through their lives, like robots.  So he wants other people to know that he gets it, and they're not crazy, and if anything, he's crazier than them, so therefore they're not so crazy after all, right?  The only problem is that his girlfriend has been waiting for him to give up the silver paint and the stilts and get a real job, and after waiting so long for this to happen, and determining that it's not going to happen, she moves out. 

Janice, meanwhile, is working a number of temp jobs and hasn't really found her place in life. She hasn't excelled at any of the jobs the temp agency has sent her out for, and in fact they've received several complaints.  Eventually her landlord gets tired of reminding her that rent is, in fact, due on the first of the month, and she's forced to move in with her younger sister, Jill, who's always putting Janice down while at the same time, trying to over-plan Janice's life to make it better (aka "more like her own").  Jill and her husband, Brian, keep trying to set Janice up with Doug, a motivational speaker who pretends to be an expert on everything, or at least he's written several books about everything and also nothing at all, and his seminars try to teach people how to be great conversationalists, but are also filled with terrible advice.  

The editing alone tells us that Tim and Janice are going to have their stories intersect, which happens several times, once while Tim is dressed as the mechanical man, and again when they both apply for jobs at the Detroit Zoo.  Tim gets a custodial job there (really, every entry-level job is "cleaning cages" when you think about it) and Janice sells juice by the gorilla exhibit.  They really bond when an over-zealous zoo patron starts poking the monkeys.  They decide to "hang out", which is code for pre-dating, or dating someone without bringing attention to the fact that you want to date them, from there they can decide if they really want to date, or just stick with "hanging out" (aka "the friend zone").

The problem is that Janice has already agreed to go do dinner with Doug, and though it's not a date to her, Doug's a huge douche who just sees Janice as another conquest.  He's like a low-rent version of that motivational speaker that Tom Cruise played in "Magnolia".  We can tell he doesn't care about anything but sealing the deal and adding another notch to his bedpost, and I think Janice sees right through him, but is just too polite to come out and tell Doug she's not interested.  

So Doug (while disguised as the mechanical man) sees Janice out on a not-date with Doug, and assumes that he's missed out on Janice, but he really doesn't know the whole story.  And it's perhaps a bit of a stretch to have Janice talk to Tim (while disguised as the mechanical man) without realizing that it's the guy she's got a thing for at the zoo.  But that's neither here nor there, I suppose, what's important is that Janice finally learns to assert herself after years of being a doormat, and finally takes steps to get the life that she wants and the relationship that she wants, after learning that it only takes one person to believe in you and care about you to get the confidence to make things happen. 

This is, perhaps, only slightly misguided because true change really should come from within and not be dependent on another person's love, but maybe in this case some allowances should be made.  At least the leads are both quite likable and the audience can share in their feeling of accomplishment when they finally get on the same page.  A bit predictable, maybe, but it gets to where it needed to go. 

Also starring Jenna Fischer (last seen in "Are You Here"), Topher Grace (last seen in "In Good Company"), Malin Akerman (last seen in "The Proposal"), Lucy Punch (last seen in "The Female Brain"), Bob Odenkirk (last seen in "Dolemite Is My Name"), Rich Sommer (last seen in "Girlfriend's Day"), Sean Gunn, Travis Schuldt, Sarab Kamoo, Jennifer O'Kain, Nick Holmes, Matt Champagne (last seen in "Vice" (2018)), Robert Maffia, with archive footage of Charlie Chaplin (last seen in "Joker"), Buster Keaton.

RATING: 6 out of 10 penguins marching in a line

Manglehorn

Year 13, Day 38 - 2/7/21 - Movie #3,740

BEFORE: We had a big day out yesterday, we picked up my new eyeglasses (paid for by the recent stimulus check that was authorized by the previous administration - I know...) and then drove out to Long Island so my wife could buy cigarettes (not paid for by the stimulus check).  Then we had a real sit-down lunch inside a restaurant - OK, it was the Cheesecake Factory, but that is a real restaurant, we used to go there a lot during the before-times.  Then we swung by a Lowe's store so I could pick up a 40-lb. bag of ice melt (another snowstorm is expected) and finally found a supermarket out on the island to replace the Super Bowl snacks that we ate during the last snowstorm.  So now we're set for the big game tomorrow, plenty of things to eat.  

Really, though, we get together and watch the Puppy Bowl, that's our annual tradition, and then I'll watch the game mostly for the commercials, but I've been invested over the last decade every time the Patriots have been in it.  With Tom Brady playing for the Buccaneers now, I'm not sure if I'm rooting for him any more. So whatever happens, happens, I'm not that into it now.  Puppy Bowl, sure, and then maybe the Super Bowl halftime show and ads.  It's just another excuse for a big food holiday now.  

This film wasn't part of the original plan, but I added it after dropping "How to Build a Girl". I could have just skipped a day, but I'd rather add a replacement film, so I checked my links for the month to see if any of them were in another movie that fell into the romance category, even if it was a questionable fit.  I came up with this one, because it turns out that Chris Messina is in just about every film these days - I learned this from reading an online article about how Chris Messina is in just about every film these days.  

I thought this was on AmazonPrime, that's what I had in my notes anyway, but after signing on to Amazon I realized it was $3.99 to rent, unless I signed up for the IFC program on a 7-day free trial.  You know, if I did that I'd probably forget to cancel it in time, plus how many IFC movies could I watch in 7 days, since they're not part of my planned schedule?  It was a lot safer for me to rent it on iTunes for the same $3.99, this way I didn't risk signing up for another monthly fee that I'd be charged after forgetting to cancel.  

Chris Messina carries over again from "Like Crazy". 

THE PLOT: Left heartbroken by a woman he loved and lost many years ago, Manglehorn, an eccentric small-town locksmith, tries to start his life over again with the help of a new friend. 

AFTER: Yesterday I forgot to mention my theory about why the relationship in "Like Crazy" might not work out - Anton Yelchin was in "Star Trek" movies, and Felicity Jones was in "Star Wars: Rogue One". How's that going to work, if they're from opposing sci-fi franchises? Well, my wife and I manage to make things work, and I'm a big "Star Wars" fan, she's more of a Trekker, especially "Next Generation" and "Deep Space Nine".  She started watching "Picard" but didn't finish, and I just finished season 1 of "Discovery", since they aired it free on CBS TV, not just their streaming service. But I think my wife forgot to cancel her CBS All Access subscription, so maybe I should just go straight into season 2 without waiting for it to be on free TV.  

There's a similar problem in today's film in the potential romance between Manglehorn and Dawn, the woman who works in the bank.  He's a cat person, and she owns a dog.  I just don't see how this is going to work, but I commend them for trying.  But hey, that means today's film is very appropriate after all, with the Puppy Bowl airing today - and they usually have a Kitty Halftime show, so dogs and cats, right?  Oh, right, and Al Pacino was once in a movie about football, I want to say it was "Any Given Sunday", right? 

Anyway, this is the best I can do, given the circumstances, and that's kind of what "Manglehorn" is all about - surviving under difficult circumstances.  The lead character has become an old grump, constantly pining over a lost love and writing real (or perhaps imaginary) letters to Clara, his lost love.  The natural assumption is that Clara is his deceased wife, but perhaps this isn't the case at all.  Could Clara be his daughter, some other departed acquaintance, or even a past cat?  At first, anything is possible, then gradually we start to get some answers.  

There is one light in his life, though, each Friday when he deposits the profits from his locksmith business, he gets to interact with Dawn, a teller at his bank.  She's friendly with all of the customers, of course, but perhaps there's something special there when she interacts with Manglehorn, but perhaps this is also tough to discern at first.  We're going to get there, but after Manglehorn deals with his sick cat, Frannie, his son who's some kind of investments guy, and his granddaughter that he takes to the park sometimes, probably without his son knowing about it.  (Chris Messina is perfectly cast as the son, who's got a number of axes to grind where his father is concerned.). 

There are plenty of weird moments in this film, like seeing Manglehorn/Pacino sitting with his cat on a high tree limb (how did they get up there?) or walking by a six-car accident that started with a watermelon truck.  Are these supposed to be dream sequences, or just oddities?  It's unclear.  So I can certainly see how some people claim that the pieces here don't really add up to a coherent whole.  Manglehorn is also prone to fits of rage from time to time - which is probably why someone cast Pacino in the first place - but we don't see those, either, we're forced to imagine them after seeing all the kitchen furniture turned over the next morning.  

The worst bit of his personality surfaces, though, when he finally lands a dinner date with Dawn (following the American Legion pancake breakfast, of course) and blows it by talking too much about how he was once in love with Clara, and his adventures with her in Italy.  Rookie mistake, talking too much about past romances with your current intended.  In that way, Pacino's character here is a bit reminiscent of Jack Nicholson's from "As Good As It Gets" - decades of human experience, but no clue how to talk to a modern-day woman.  

There's some symbolism in showing a locksmith helping out all sorts of people all day, getting them into locked rooms or safes, or getting people out of trouble, like an infant stuck in a locked car.  But he himself is locked into a sad routine, and he can't seem to find the key to get out.  I may be stretching things a bit here, or attempting to find some intended message where there is none, I'm not sure.  What does the beehive mean, then, or the boat?  It's frustrating that I can't quite grasp it, or perhaps there's nothing there to grasp.  It's probably easier to think that the main message is that if you're pining over your lost love and constantly beating yourself up for your own mistakes, it might be better, at least in the short term, to not talk to prospective new partners about that. 

Also starring Al Pacino (last seen in "Phil Spector"), Holly Hunter (last seen in "Thirteen"), Harmony Korine, Marisa Varela, Skylar Gasper, Brian Mays (last seen in "Joe"), Herc Trevino, Angela Woods, Sandy Avila, Tyson Eberly, Natalie Makenna, Don R. McLeod. 

RATING: 5 out of 10 side dishes at the "Meat and Three" restaurant