Chicago

Year 3, Day 22 - 1/22/11 - Movie #752

BEFORE: I'm making up for past movie-watching sins tonight - a few years ago, my wife and I took a trip to Las Vegas, and I saw parts of this movie while riding on a bus to go see the Grand Canyon. I didn't pay much attention to it, and that's not the best way to watch a movie anyway. This is something of an obvious choice (to me anyway) after "Thelma & Louise" - with the common theme of two women in trouble with the law. This also kicks off about two weeks of legal-themed films.

THE PLOT: Murderesses Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart find themselves on death row together and fight for the fame that will keep them from the gallows in 1920s Chicago.

AFTER: This isn't really my kind of movie, but it did win the Oscar for Best Picture, and with this year's nominations coming up in 2 days, that's where my head is at. I'm not an expert on the stage version of this story. But the other day, I did add up how many films I've seen that won the Best Picture Oscar - 44 out of 82. This film makes it 45, and I've got another 5 on my list, which will make a nice even 50. Not bad.

Double-standards abound in this storyline - for some reason it's OK for women to sleep around, but also get revenge on men who did them wrong. And shooting an abusive husband or boyfriend is justifiable, and then all efforts should be made to avoid prosecution. And once again, all men are right bastards, slimeballs, or just plain a-holes.

I'll admit the musical numbers are quite nifty, and so is the story structure that places most of them neatly in one character's imagination. They tried that back on "Ally McBeal" with mixed results, but the trick pays off here.

I'll be watching the legal proceedings in the upcoming chain of films for shenanigans, but the tricks pulled off by attorney Billy Flynn here were actually sort of impressive. If you don't count manipulating public opinion to influence the trial, that is.

Starring Renee Zellweger (last seen in "Me, Myself & Irene"), Catherine Zeta-Jones (last seen in "America's Sweethearts"), Richard Gere (last seen in "I'm Not There"), John C. Reilly (last seen in "Hoffa"), Queen Latifah (last seen in "Jungle Fever"), Taye Diggs, with cameos from Dominic West, Lucy Liu, Christine Baranski, and Chita Rivera

RATING: 5 out of 10 flash bulbs

Thelma & Louise

Year 3, Day 21 - 1/21/11 - Movie #751

BEFORE: One more night on the run - life on the lam this week has been very male-centric so far, so it's time to girl it up a bit. And since it snowed AGAIN in New York, a nice warm drive through the desert seems like a good idea - what could possibly go wrong?

Birthday SHOUT-out (or should that be SHOOT-out?) #6 tonight, to Geena Davis (last seen in "Stuart Little"), born 1/21/56.

THE PLOT: An Arkansas waitress and a housewife shoot a rapist and take off in a '66 Thunderbird.

AFTER: As with "A Perfect World", there's a set-up here, and an ending, and what feels like a lot of filler/extender in-between. And that filler mostly involves men being a-holes. All right girls, you pegged us. Geez, never has feminism been so manipulative.

NITPICK POINT #1: Louise's unwillingness to drive through Texas sure seems like a convenient...incovenience, shall we say. Clear sign of a plot extender.

NITPICK POINT #2: She heard a robber's spiel ONE time, and was able to repeat it, word for word, during a tense situation? I kinda doubt that.

NITPICK POINT #3: It sure didn't take much to turn these girls over to a life of crime - how close to the edge were they to begin with?

I think what bothers me about this film is the way which committing crimes is somehow linked with personal growth, or feminine assertiveness. It should be possible to practice "girl power", or learn to become comfortable with yourself, without acquiring a felony rap sheet. But the two go hand-in-hand here, as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

And then we have the ending - a textbook example of a writer painting herself into a corner. Sorry, but it's a cop-out no matter how you look at it. Or it's a rip-off of "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid", which might be worse. For fun, check out Robot Chicken's spoof that showed what happened to Thelma & Louise after the credits rolled.

Also starring Susan Sarandon (last seen in "The Witches of Eastwick"), Harvey Keitel (last seen in "Rising Sun"), Brad Pitt (last seen in "Inglourious Basterds"), Michael Madsen, Christopher MacDonald (last seen in "Superhero Movie"), Stephen Tobolowsky (last seen in "Great Balls of Fire!")

RATING: 4 out of 10 state troopers

Catch Me If You Can

Year 3, Day 20 - 1/20/11 - Movie #750

BEFORE: Tom Hanks carries over from last night's film, as tonight's total hits 750, 3/4 of the way to 1,000 movies. I know I said I'd take more breaks this year, but I haven't had the need to do so yet, and the result has been a pretty solid January so far.

THE PLOT: A true story about Frank Abagnale Jr. who, before his 19th birthday, successfully conned millions of dollars worth of checks as a Pan Am pilot, doctor, and legal prosecutor.

AFTER: Well, no young kids went on the run tonight, but Leonardo DiCaprio (last seen in "Romeo and Juliet") did, playing a teenager, so that's kind of in the same ballpark. And in a way this was also about fathers and father figures - the central character's father sort of trained him to be a charming con man, and the FBI agent who pursued him ended up having a sort of father/son relationship with him, even while they were on opposite sides of the law.

And this film reversed the trend from earlier this week - instead of an adult fugitive taking a kid on the road, here we've got a teenage fugitive, giving an adult authority figure the run-around.

But it's still hard for me to root for a central character with few redeeming qualities, other than being charming. How much damage did he do when he was impersonating a doctor, or a lawyer? You can't just watch "Ben Casey" and "Perry Mason" and then expect to dispense medicine properly, or follow the rules of the court. OK, so the scene where he made flubs in the courtroom was played for laughs, but I wasn't laughing when he was working in the E.R., and I bet his patients weren't either.

And then there's the cost of all the manpower required to track and capture him, in addition to the money he stole by cashing bogus checks, plus he ruined things for the next person who truly needed to cash a check from someone he scammed. Sure, security in the 1960's may not have been what it is now, but that's not enough valid reason to put it all to the test.

So a fine example of a chase/crime film, but unfortunately another unsympathetic central character. I feel the need to factor that in. Also there's a fair-amount of time-jumping around the narrative - the film opens with Abagnale in captivity, then it jumps backwards to show us his childhood, then forward again as he's extradited to the U.S., then back AGAIN to show us pieces of his con-artist career. I understand why this is done, but it's a lot to ask of the average viewer, having to keep two concurrent storylines going, and then figuring out what happened before what. Also, it's often a sign of what would be a weak story if told as a proper linear narrative.

If you're going to use a present-day (or "not as past") sequence as a framing device, it should be shown ONCE, maximum, as it was in "Saving Private Ryan". Go back into the past, show the complete storyline up until the point you started at, and then continue. It's no less egregious, in my opinion, but it is less confusing. Or you can use character-driven narrative flashback like in "Amadeus", but don't have two timelines progressing forward in two different years, it's just too problematic. This also goes on in comic books all too often these days, two concurrently-running past/present narratives, and it's usually done either as a trick, or to cover story problems.

Also starring Christopher Walken (last seen in "America's Sweethearts"), Martin Sheen (last seen in "The Dead Zone", with Walken), Amy Adams (last seen in "Doubt"), with cameos from James Brolin (last seen in "Capricorn One"), Jennifer Garner, Ellen Pompeo.

RATING: 6 out of 10 diplomas

Road to Perdition

Year 3, Day 19 - 1/19/11 - Movie #749

BEFORE: Expectations are running high tonight, I've been waiting years for premium cable to run this one, and some channel finally did so a few weeks ago. I've noticed a lot of movie turnover after each January 1, so the channels must have new movie deals that kick in with the New Year. I've met Max Allan Collins, the writer of the original comic-book - sorry, graphic novel - that this is based on. Several times he's come to my boss's booth at Comic-Con, and he always has seemed like a very friendly chap.

THE PLOT: Bonds of loyalty are put to the test when a hitman's son witnesses what his father does for a living.

AFTER: I accidentally (?) programmed three movies in a row that not only feature criminals on the run, but have all featured them on the run with young boys. Perhaps I subconsciously linked the movies in my head, based on what little I knew about them - or else it's another happy accident, which is also good. I think the theory goes that if you place a criminal in a situation with a young, innocent boy, portraying him as a father (or father figure) it will soften elements of the criminal, and make him more accessible to the audience.

This is a very complex story and I don't want to give too much away - but if you can imagine a story similar in tone to "The Sopranos" mixed with "Sin City", set in the era of "The Untouchables", you'll start to get the idea. And if you can accept Tom Hanks (last seen in "Angels and Demons") as a mob hitman, well, then you're halfway home. Maybe you can't accept the star of "Big" and "Bosom Buddies" in such a capacity - well, then, there's the door, don't forget your hat. Go on, grown-ups are watching movies now.

I found this story had a lot of layers - though it didn't seem to exactly follow standard six-act structure, there was more meat to it than last night's bare-bones fugitive plot. I like when every action has a consequence, and that consequence becomes another call to action - to me that's a sign of an intelligent plot.

Plus even though many of the main characters are criminals/mob figures, the morality was still present. The mob has a code of honor, or so we're led to believe, even if that code involves graft, bootlegging and yes, murder. But can a killer have redeeming qualities? Can there be good aspects to bad people? Are people inherently good or evil? Again, I don't expect complete answers to these questions - the fact that the questions get raised is usually enough.

A mob boss, his deceitful son, and his loyal pseudo-son. That sort of says it all - I've given away nothing, but I've told you everything you need to know. And a good story flows from a good set-up.

Also starring Paul Newman (last seen in "The Hudsucker Proxy"), Daniel Craig, Jennifer Jason Leigh (also last seen in "The Hudsucker Proxy"), Jude Law (last seen in "The Talented Mr. Ripley"), Stanley Tucci (last seen in "America's Sweethearts") as Frank Nitti (!), and Dylan Baker (last seen in "The Tailor of Panama").

RATING: 8 out of 10 bullet holes

A Perfect World

Year 3, Day 18 - 1/18/11 - Movie #748

BEFORE: When they weren't performing, the Blues Brothers were usually running from the police. So that's my theme for the week - people on the lam. And today's Birthday SHOUT-out #5 goes to Kevin Costner, born on 1/18/55.

THE PLOT: A kidnapped boy strikes up a friendship with his captor: an escaped convict on the run from the law, headed by an honorable U.S. Marshal.

AFTER: Much like a criminal on the run, this film seemed mostly directionless. Once the conflict was established between the escaped convict played by Kevin Costner (last seen in "The Postman") and the Texas Ranger played by Clint Eastwood (last seen in "The Eiger Sanction", the outcome seemed pretty inevitable to me, and anything extra at that point seems like filler. Time to call shenanigans, or at least a "delay of game" penalty.

There are strange bonding experiences between the ex-con and the boy he takes as a hostage. Since the boy had no father figure in his life (a sort of recurring theme in the film), he was drawn to the convict in the ultimate expression of Stockholm syndrome. Plus he was a Jehovah's Witness, so the whole dangerous road trip allowed him to experience things that weren't usually available to him.

I've got a bunch of nitpick points, the most prominent of which is - if Costner's character was supposedly so smart, how come he let the kid continue to wear a very recognizable Halloween costume? For that matter, if he was so scary smart, how come he kept breaking the law? Or failed to realize how many days it would take to drive to Alaska? Or why did he seem to take his time getting out of the state? I could go on and on...

The film does manage to capture some of the racial and gender-based inequalities of 1963 - but that hardly seems commendable. Do we need to be reminded of a time when men dominated the workplace, and women were treated like little more than secretaries? (I have the same problem with "Mad Men", so I don't watch it.)

I could almost understand how this film got made, if it was made as some kind of reaction to "The Shawshank Redemption" - however, that film was released the following year, 1994. I saw the similarity of Butch's idolization of Alaska to Andy Dufresne's dream of making it to - Mexico, was it? However, there's a huge difference between the two characters - Dufresne was portrayed as an innocent man who'd been framed, and Butch is anything but innocent. It makes all the difference when we're presented with a central character that we want to root for. I'd root for Eastwood's Texas Ranger here, except we barely get to know him, and he doesn't seem to be in a rush to catch his man, since he decides to stop for a steak dinner (what was up with THAT?).

What's the opposite of a "feel-good" film? This is kind of like that.

Also starring Laura Dern (last seen in "I Am Sam"), with Bradley Whitford (last seen in "Kate & Leopold") and Bruce McGill.

RATING: 4 out of 10 mustard sandwiches

Blues Brothers 2000

Year 3, Day 17 - 1/17/11 - Movie #747

BEFORE: I have to admit I'm not a big fan of the original "Blues Brothers" movie, even though I have a number of friends who swear by it. Maybe I need to be in the right mood - I went to an exquisite beer dinner tonight, 7 courses of beer + food, and although the service was rather slow and the dinner took 4 hours, maybe my lingering beer buzz will put me in a good mood for this film. Then again, the film was blasted by critics, so we'll see...

THE PLOT: Elwood must reunite the old band, with a few new members, and go on another "Mission from God."

AFTER: Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd, last seen in "My Stepmother Is an Alien") gets released from jail after 18 years (the length of time between the two films, if I'm not mistaken) and puts the band back together. Jeez, it's such a cliche, "putting the band back together" - but the first "Blues Brothers" movie perfected it, if not invented it.

Of course, the easiest way to get the band together is to visit all of the old members at their new jobs, and if they won't come along, just get them fired. Huh? Wouldn't that make them made at Elwood? (Nitpick Point #1). He recruits a bartender to sing in place of the deceased Jake - John Goodman (last seen in "Mother Night") and bonds with a 10-year old orphan (the "Cousin Oliver" effect) and the band drives down to Louisiana for a Battle of the Bands. Because I guess they couldn't raise any money, since Chicago has no places to perform? (Nitpick Point #2)

Along the way they manage to piss off the Russian mob, some white supremacist militiamen, and state troopers that are even more ineffectual than the ones seen on "Reno: 911!". And where the Blues Brothers go, piles of destroyed police cars, and millions of dollars of property damage, are sure to follow. (couldn't the cop cars at the back of the line stop in time? Nitpick Point #3)

The music and singing are actually fine, but it's the choreography that's crappy - as in "Fame" and "Great Balls of Fire", it's hard to swallow the "spontaneous" dance numbers that resemble music videos more than anything else. But more than anything, this is a showcase for some of the great blues and soul artists - sure, I can complain about Aretha Franklin breaking into song in the middle of a scene, but that would be petty, right?

The band makes it to New Orleans, but how did they get all 12 band members riding in one Bluesmobile? (Nitpick Point #4)

Also starring Joe Morton (last seen in "American Gangster"), Nia Peeples, with cameos from Steve Lawrence, Darrell Hammond, Frank Oz and Paul Shaffer.

Screw it, I'm awarding points tonight for assembling possibly THE greatest musical line-up ever seen in a film - James Brown, Wilson Pickett, Junior Wells, Blues Traveler, Sam Moore, Erykah Badu, and appearing in the "Louisiana Gator Boys Band": Eric Clapton, B.B. King, Gary U.S. Bonds, Clarence Clemons, Bo Diddley, Isaac Hayes (last seen in "Soul Men"), Dr. John, Billy Preston, Lou Rawls, Koko Taylor, Travis Tritt, Jimmy Vaughan (last seen in "Great Balls of Fire!"), Grover Washington Jr., and Steve Winwood.

RATING: 5 out of 10 alligators

Fame (2009)

Year 3, Day 16 - 1/16/11 - Movie #746

BEFORE: Today was recycling day, or rather e-cycling day, since we drove a bunch of old electronics to Brooklyn for proper disposal. I got rid of my old computer, its bulky monitor, a broken DVD recorder, an old VCR, and my bedroom TV, which hasn't displayed the color blue in over a year. I'll sleep better tonight knowing that they won't be breaking down in a landfill somewhere.

Speaking of recycling, here's a recycled movie plot. Sorry, the DVD case clearly states this is a "re-invention" of the 1980 film, not a sequel or a remake. And Birthday SHOUT-out #4 goes to Debbie Allen, born 1/16/50. I almost miss her choreographed dance routines that would spoil the Oscar telecast every year - the key word being "almost". I do miss making fun of them, though.

THE PLOT: An updated version of the 1980 musical, which centered on the students of the New York Academy of Performing Arts.

AFTER: The film starts with the now-traditional auditions (similar scenes earlier this month were in "The Fabulous Baker Boys" and "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"), which are extra-relevant with American Idol starting up again this week. But do acting students still audition with De Niro's "Are you talkin' to ME?" routine? Seems kind of dated... That sort of made the whole process seem like a parody of itself.

They left in the famous "spontaneous" cafeteria jam scene, but this time it included a rap battle. Is that supposed to be an improvement? I don't listen to the hip-hop, so I don't think so. And they left OUT the song "I Sing the Body Electric" from the finale - good, I never liked that song anyway. Too corny - "I'll burn with the fire of ten MILLION suns!" Good luck with that - go hug a rainbow, you hippie.

Most of the students in this year's class seemed kind of lackluster - I didn't really see the point in learning the students' names, and I wonder if the teachers sort of felt the same way. There was no Leroy or Coco here, though one girl learns a lesson sort of like Coco did. I found the teachers to be much more interesting than the students - the teachers kept trying to explain that acting is more than just reading lines, and singing is more than just saying the words, but it didn't feel like the message got through to the main characters. Debbie Allen (this time playing the principal, not the dance teacher) still got to do a version of her "Fame costs" speech, but in a different context, and without the same impact.

I went to film school, and after 2 years I sort of learned I didn't have what it took to be a director (ego, bossiness, and original ideas), which was a costly but valuable lesson. I had time to diversify and take courses on things like animation and producing. But still, I probably learned more from a year in the trenches working on music videos than I did from three years at NYU.

So I'm a little confused by the implication that success in the entertainment world is pass/fail. The dance student who can't cut it is encouraged to become a dance teacher - together with the story of the music teacher who couldn't get a callback, this implies that the best alternative to fame is teaching. Why, so other kids can learn to become bad dancers?

I wish that creative schools (both on- and off-screen) would acknowledge the importance of teaching classes like fund-raising, publicity, and merchandising. There are hundreds of jobs connected to the entertainment industry that don't involve being on-stage or on-camera, and most of them probably pay better than teaching does. (Teachers should be paid more, I agree, but often they're not.) What's longer on any film, the cast list or the crew list? Usually it's the crew, and none of those people should be considered failures.

Also starring Charles S. Dutton (last seen in "Rudy"), Bebe Neuwirth (last seen in "Say Anything"), Kelsey Grammer (hey, cool trivia question - what film starred the actors who played Frasier Crane AND Lilith?) and Megan Mullally.

RATING: 4 out of 10 dropouts