Day 59 - 2/28/09 - Movie #57
BEFORE: We went to the Empire Casino this weekend, up at Yonkers Raceway. It was fun, but it puts me short on movie-time again. I'm still barely starting the movie before the day ends - I'll have to find a way to get back on track.
THE PLOT: A romance writer sets off to Colombia to ransom her kidnapped sister, and soon finds herself in the middle of a dangerous adventure.
AFTER: This was one of those "Raiders of the Lost Ark" knock-offs - so that means I've been putting off watching this movie since the mid-80's! I don't know why, since Kathleen Turner was so hot, and spends most of the film in a soaking-wet dress...
The plot is twisty, but it's mostly "Who's got the map?" and "Who's got the jewel?" - not really highbrow.
RATING: 7 out of 10 alligators (that's 5 for being 1/2 as good as "Raiders" and 2 points for the wet dress)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Johnny English
Day 58 - 2/27/09 - Movie #56
BEFORE: I'm almost at the end of Month 2, but I'm still 2 movies behind schedule. It's Friday night, and I have to start my weekend work - but this seems like a quick film. Hey, back-to-back Rowan Atkinson!
THE PLOT: During this spoof spy thriller, we follow our hero as he attempts to single-handedly save the country from falling into the hands of a despot.
AFTER: Hey, Mr. Bean can talk after all! I found this to be pretty entertaining, combining Mr. Bean's ability to foul things up with a spoof of Bond films. I know the Bond films have been parodied many times before, but come on, the genre's a pretty easy target. John Malkovich was great as the villain here - but it was a little schizophrenic, since Johnny English is being portrayed as incompetent, but ultimately he still has to save the day. And who knew that Natalie Imbruglia could act? I sure didn't.
RATING: 7 out of 10 crown jewels
BEFORE: I'm almost at the end of Month 2, but I'm still 2 movies behind schedule. It's Friday night, and I have to start my weekend work - but this seems like a quick film. Hey, back-to-back Rowan Atkinson!
THE PLOT: During this spoof spy thriller, we follow our hero as he attempts to single-handedly save the country from falling into the hands of a despot.
AFTER: Hey, Mr. Bean can talk after all! I found this to be pretty entertaining, combining Mr. Bean's ability to foul things up with a spoof of Bond films. I know the Bond films have been parodied many times before, but come on, the genre's a pretty easy target. John Malkovich was great as the villain here - but it was a little schizophrenic, since Johnny English is being portrayed as incompetent, but ultimately he still has to save the day. And who knew that Natalie Imbruglia could act? I sure didn't.
RATING: 7 out of 10 crown jewels
Mr. Bean's Holiday
Day 57 - 2/26/09 - Movie #55
BEFORE: Seeing Rowan Atkinson's cameo in "Hot Shots", plus watching the (mostly) dialogue-free film "Triplettes of Belleville", logically leads me to watch this film next - since it's set in France, and Mr. Bean barely speaks -
THE PLOT: Mr. Bean wins a trip to Cannes where he unwittingly separates a young boy from his father and must help the two come back together. On the way he discovers France, bicycling, and true love.
AFTER: I actually really enjoyed this one. Yes, Atkinson's humor is low-brow slapstick, but it's FUNNY and the timing is always spot-on. Willem Dafoe had a great part as an egotistical, pretentious film director, and it's amusing to watch all of Bean's plans run off the rails before somehow fixing themselves. The Mr. Bean character wasn't as annoying here as he's seemed to me in the past - I don't know if that's because he had good intentions in this story, or if hanging out with a young boy sidekick and a cute actress humanized him a bit more.
RATING: 7 out of 10 phone numbers
BEFORE: Seeing Rowan Atkinson's cameo in "Hot Shots", plus watching the (mostly) dialogue-free film "Triplettes of Belleville", logically leads me to watch this film next - since it's set in France, and Mr. Bean barely speaks -
THE PLOT: Mr. Bean wins a trip to Cannes where he unwittingly separates a young boy from his father and must help the two come back together. On the way he discovers France, bicycling, and true love.
AFTER: I actually really enjoyed this one. Yes, Atkinson's humor is low-brow slapstick, but it's FUNNY and the timing is always spot-on. Willem Dafoe had a great part as an egotistical, pretentious film director, and it's amusing to watch all of Bean's plans run off the rails before somehow fixing themselves. The Mr. Bean character wasn't as annoying here as he's seemed to me in the past - I don't know if that's because he had good intentions in this story, or if hanging out with a young boy sidekick and a cute actress humanized him a bit more.
RATING: 7 out of 10 phone numbers
Les Triplettes de Belleville
Day 56 - 2/25/09 - Movie #54
BEFORE: Another movie I SHOULD have watched years ago - not only because I work for animators, but due to its reputation as a well-made animated film. But I guess I've been putting it off. American Idol was 2 hours again tonight, so I need something sort of short.
THE PLOT: When her grandson is kidnapped during the Tour de France, Madame Souza teams up with the Belleville Sisters--an aged song-and-dance team--to rescue him.
AFTER: It's certainly gorgeous, very artistic. I'm not sure that the story made a lot of sense - does the French mafia really kidnap pro bike racers to provide underground entertainment? It's too bad that the story didn't match the art - it's all style and not much substance, so it's hard for me to see why this film got so much hype. The music powered the film, but was also just too...French for me.
RATING: 4 out of 10 frogs
BEFORE: Another movie I SHOULD have watched years ago - not only because I work for animators, but due to its reputation as a well-made animated film. But I guess I've been putting it off. American Idol was 2 hours again tonight, so I need something sort of short.
THE PLOT: When her grandson is kidnapped during the Tour de France, Madame Souza teams up with the Belleville Sisters--an aged song-and-dance team--to rescue him.
AFTER: It's certainly gorgeous, very artistic. I'm not sure that the story made a lot of sense - does the French mafia really kidnap pro bike racers to provide underground entertainment? It's too bad that the story didn't match the art - it's all style and not much substance, so it's hard for me to see why this film got so much hype. The music powered the film, but was also just too...French for me.
RATING: 4 out of 10 frogs
Hot Shots Part Deux
DAY 55 - 2/24/09 - Movie #53
BEFORE: OK, let's get it out of the way.
THE PLOT: "Rambo" parody in which Topper Harley leads a rescue team into Iraq to save Iraqi war prisoners and all of their previous rescue teams.
AFTER: See yesterday's review. More of the same.
RATING: 5 out of 10 bullets
BEFORE: OK, let's get it out of the way.
THE PLOT: "Rambo" parody in which Topper Harley leads a rescue team into Iraq to save Iraqi war prisoners and all of their previous rescue teams.
AFTER: See yesterday's review. More of the same.
RATING: 5 out of 10 bullets
Hot Shots
Day 54 - 2/23/09 - Movie #52
BEFORE: I meant to watch another Oscar winner, but I'm short on time. I'm behind on my TV viewing for work as well. Let's pick something short and not too challenging...
THE PLOT: A talented but unstable fighter pilot must overcome the ghosts of his father and save a mission sabotaged by greedy weapons manufacturers.
AFTER: Pretty funny - a lot of quick gags, so I did have to pay attention. Not exactly as funny as "Airplane", but I guess if you watch a lot of action movies like "Top Gun", it's probably hilarious. I haven't seen "Top Gun" (nor am I planning to), so I just have to judge it on its own merits.
RATING: 6 out of 10 bunny slippers
BEFORE: I meant to watch another Oscar winner, but I'm short on time. I'm behind on my TV viewing for work as well. Let's pick something short and not too challenging...
THE PLOT: A talented but unstable fighter pilot must overcome the ghosts of his father and save a mission sabotaged by greedy weapons manufacturers.
AFTER: Pretty funny - a lot of quick gags, so I did have to pay attention. Not exactly as funny as "Airplane", but I guess if you watch a lot of action movies like "Top Gun", it's probably hilarious. I haven't seen "Top Gun" (nor am I planning to), so I just have to judge it on its own merits.
RATING: 6 out of 10 bunny slippers
For Your Consideration
Day 53 - 2/22/09 - Movie 51
BEFORE: My BFF Andy's visiting, and as my guest, I asked him to pick a movie from the list. He picked perhaps the PERFECT film to watch before the Oscar ceremony airs. I have been meaning to watch this for some time, being a big fan of Christopher Guest's mockumentaries.
THE PLOT: Three actors learn that their respective performances in the film "Home for Purim," a drama set in the mid-1940s American South, are generating award-season buzz.
AFTER: I'm afraid it didn't really live up to my expectations, it's no "A Mighty Wind" or "Best in Show". Knowing what I know about filmmaking and the Oscar-nominating process, I had some problems with the timeline - namely, actors don't usually go on talk-shows and promote a movie WHILE it's being shot. The media also wouldn't speculate on Oscar nominations, and a studio wouldn't promote a performance, before a film is edited and is given a release date. I didn't like the portrayal of entertainment reporters either - they're tools, sure, but they're not necessarily idiots, like Fred Willard portrayed. OK, maybe Billy Bush is, but that's it.
RATING: 5 out of 10 trailers
BEFORE: My BFF Andy's visiting, and as my guest, I asked him to pick a movie from the list. He picked perhaps the PERFECT film to watch before the Oscar ceremony airs. I have been meaning to watch this for some time, being a big fan of Christopher Guest's mockumentaries.
THE PLOT: Three actors learn that their respective performances in the film "Home for Purim," a drama set in the mid-1940s American South, are generating award-season buzz.
AFTER: I'm afraid it didn't really live up to my expectations, it's no "A Mighty Wind" or "Best in Show". Knowing what I know about filmmaking and the Oscar-nominating process, I had some problems with the timeline - namely, actors don't usually go on talk-shows and promote a movie WHILE it's being shot. The media also wouldn't speculate on Oscar nominations, and a studio wouldn't promote a performance, before a film is edited and is given a release date. I didn't like the portrayal of entertainment reporters either - they're tools, sure, but they're not necessarily idiots, like Fred Willard portrayed. OK, maybe Billy Bush is, but that's it.
RATING: 5 out of 10 trailers
The Departed
Day 52 - 2/21/09 - Movie #50
BEFORE: It's Oscar weekend, so it's time to think about crossing off an Oscar-winner or two from my list.
THE PLOT: Two men from opposite sides of the law are undercover within the Massachusetts State Police and the Irish mafia.
AFTER: It's a GREAT concept for a movie. A decorated cop who's actually working for the mob, and an undercover cop who's placed within the very same mob. The mobster might be working for the FBI, and no one's actually who they appear to be. Stellar cast - Nicholson, Damon, DiCaprio, Baldwin, Sheen - it should have been a home run, but I dunno...
(SPOILERS AHEAD - stop reading now if you haven't seen this yet)
The story took a few too many twists, and there are a few too many astounding coincidences - how many licensed therapists are there in the Boston area? (She just happens to be the girlfriend of another character? Come on...) For that matter, how many mobsters are there in Boston? The two main characters both happen to have a personal relationship with the SAME mobster? The Irish mafia is just like, what, five guys?
We're expected to believe that as the moles try to uncover each other's identity, they fall JUST short every time - and then when identities are revealed, the bodies start piling up. Couldn't someone have survived?
RATING: 6 out of 10 processors
BEFORE: It's Oscar weekend, so it's time to think about crossing off an Oscar-winner or two from my list.
THE PLOT: Two men from opposite sides of the law are undercover within the Massachusetts State Police and the Irish mafia.
AFTER: It's a GREAT concept for a movie. A decorated cop who's actually working for the mob, and an undercover cop who's placed within the very same mob. The mobster might be working for the FBI, and no one's actually who they appear to be. Stellar cast - Nicholson, Damon, DiCaprio, Baldwin, Sheen - it should have been a home run, but I dunno...
(SPOILERS AHEAD - stop reading now if you haven't seen this yet)
The story took a few too many twists, and there are a few too many astounding coincidences - how many licensed therapists are there in the Boston area? (She just happens to be the girlfriend of another character? Come on...) For that matter, how many mobsters are there in Boston? The two main characters both happen to have a personal relationship with the SAME mobster? The Irish mafia is just like, what, five guys?
We're expected to believe that as the moles try to uncover each other's identity, they fall JUST short every time - and then when identities are revealed, the bodies start piling up. Couldn't someone have survived?
RATING: 6 out of 10 processors
The Shadow
Day 50 + 51 - 2/19 + 2/20/09 - Movie #49
BEFORE: I spent a long day prepping for and working at the "Coraline" party, so I didn't have much time to watch a movie. I tried, but I was exhausted, so I kept falling asleep.
THE PLOT: In 1930's New York City, the Shadow battles his nemesis, who is building an atomic bomb.
AFTER: I partially blame the movie for not being very interesting. Let me clarify that - it's exciting, just not all that interesting. (Alec Baldwin as a superhero?) There's plenty of action, but not much STORY. (And no, action does NOT equal story, despite what former Marvel Comics editor Tom DeFalco once told me.) This movie had the misfortune of being made about 10 years too early, before "Spider-Man", "X-Men" and "Sin City" made the genre viable. Ultimately, it's just corny and pointless.
RATING: 4 out of 10 rings
BEFORE: I spent a long day prepping for and working at the "Coraline" party, so I didn't have much time to watch a movie. I tried, but I was exhausted, so I kept falling asleep.
THE PLOT: In 1930's New York City, the Shadow battles his nemesis, who is building an atomic bomb.
AFTER: I partially blame the movie for not being very interesting. Let me clarify that - it's exciting, just not all that interesting. (Alec Baldwin as a superhero?) There's plenty of action, but not much STORY. (And no, action does NOT equal story, despite what former Marvel Comics editor Tom DeFalco once told me.) This movie had the misfortune of being made about 10 years too early, before "Spider-Man", "X-Men" and "Sin City" made the genre viable. Ultimately, it's just corny and pointless.
RATING: 4 out of 10 rings
Coraline
Day 49 - 2/18/09 - Movie #48
BEFORE: First time I've been to a movie theater in some time - 2 years? My company paid for the ticket, so that I can talk about the film with the party guests tomorrow. Working for the animation company's NYC commercial rep - sort of precludes me from being objective here.
THE PLOT: An adventurous girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets.
AFTER: What an amazing film! Far better than "Mirrormask" or "Pan's Labyrinth", which had similar themes. This is more on a par with "Wizard of Oz"! The animation was technically stellar, of course the story by Neil Gaiman was wild (glad I didn't read the book first, in a way). Voices by Teri Hatcher, John Hodgman, and Ian McShane were well cast - and the film had just the right amount of creepiness. Maybe too scary for kids, but fine for me - actually some kids probably deal with scary movies better than I do.
RATING: 9 out of 10 performing mice
BEFORE: First time I've been to a movie theater in some time - 2 years? My company paid for the ticket, so that I can talk about the film with the party guests tomorrow. Working for the animation company's NYC commercial rep - sort of precludes me from being objective here.
THE PLOT: An adventurous girl finds another world that is a strangely idealized version of her frustrating home, but it has sinister secrets.
AFTER: What an amazing film! Far better than "Mirrormask" or "Pan's Labyrinth", which had similar themes. This is more on a par with "Wizard of Oz"! The animation was technically stellar, of course the story by Neil Gaiman was wild (glad I didn't read the book first, in a way). Voices by Teri Hatcher, John Hodgman, and Ian McShane were well cast - and the film had just the right amount of creepiness. Maybe too scary for kids, but fine for me - actually some kids probably deal with scary movies better than I do.
RATING: 9 out of 10 performing mice
Pan's Labyrinth
Day 48 - 2/17/09 Movie #47
BEFORE: I'm going to be working at a party for Laika's film "Coraline" on Thursday, so in preparation my boss is taking me to see the film tomorrow. As sort of a precursor, I'll watch this similar (?) film tonight.
THE PLOT: In the fascist Spain of 1944, the bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army officer escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world.
AFTER: Well, that was depressing. Lots of war, death, torture - not exactly a "feel-good" film. The fantasy sequences were visually stunning, sure, but I didn't see how they fit in with, or paralleled, the live-action story. I didn't see what this movie got so much hype for.
RATING: 4 out of 10 grapes
BEFORE: I'm going to be working at a party for Laika's film "Coraline" on Thursday, so in preparation my boss is taking me to see the film tomorrow. As sort of a precursor, I'll watch this similar (?) film tonight.
THE PLOT: In the fascist Spain of 1944, the bookish young stepdaughter of a sadistic army officer escapes into an eerie but captivating fantasy world.
AFTER: Well, that was depressing. Lots of war, death, torture - not exactly a "feel-good" film. The fantasy sequences were visually stunning, sure, but I didn't see how they fit in with, or paralleled, the live-action story. I didn't see what this movie got so much hype for.
RATING: 4 out of 10 grapes
Frequency
Day 47 - 2/16/09 - Movie #46
BEFORE: Watching "The Lake House" yesterday, which was just an abomination, made me long for a better movie about time travel + time paradoxes. However, since I played bi-weekly Team Trivia tonight, I didn't get home until 11 pm, didn't start watching this film until midnight, so I finished around 2 am on Tuesday. Barring any time-travel of my own, I may shortly be 2 days behind instead of 1.
THE PLOT: An accidental cross-time radio link connects father and son across 30 years. The son tries to save his father's life, but then must fix the consequences.
AFTER: I'm much more satisfied now, after watching a well thought-out thriller about communication between characters in two different times. I bought into the ham radio / Aurora Borealis gimmick more easily than the "magic mailbox" of "The Lake House". And an action movie was a much better framework for the time paradoxes than a romance flick was. This was so thrilling, so full of action, I was on the edge of my seat.
I knew the film would be about trying to save the father's life, but I didn't realize there would be so many twists along the way. Things sort of wrapped up a little too neatly at the end - like how did John get his girlfriend back? They never explained... But the bit about the father needing to quit smoking was a nice touch. Still, how long does any "happy ending" last? Am I being too cynical?
RATING: 8 out of 10 baseballs
BEFORE: Watching "The Lake House" yesterday, which was just an abomination, made me long for a better movie about time travel + time paradoxes. However, since I played bi-weekly Team Trivia tonight, I didn't get home until 11 pm, didn't start watching this film until midnight, so I finished around 2 am on Tuesday. Barring any time-travel of my own, I may shortly be 2 days behind instead of 1.
THE PLOT: An accidental cross-time radio link connects father and son across 30 years. The son tries to save his father's life, but then must fix the consequences.
AFTER: I'm much more satisfied now, after watching a well thought-out thriller about communication between characters in two different times. I bought into the ham radio / Aurora Borealis gimmick more easily than the "magic mailbox" of "The Lake House". And an action movie was a much better framework for the time paradoxes than a romance flick was. This was so thrilling, so full of action, I was on the edge of my seat.
I knew the film would be about trying to save the father's life, but I didn't realize there would be so many twists along the way. Things sort of wrapped up a little too neatly at the end - like how did John get his girlfriend back? They never explained... But the bit about the father needing to quit smoking was a nice touch. Still, how long does any "happy ending" last? Am I being too cynical?
RATING: 8 out of 10 baseballs
The Lake House
Day 46 - 2/15/09 - Movie #45
BEFORE: Wrapping up Valentine's weekend, I've had a cold so I've been sleeping on the couch, just a few hours at a time, because I need to sleep sitting up, and I can't do that in the bed. I'll watch one more romance flick before switching gears. I've been putting this one off because I think I'm gonna hate it. Time travel and a chick flick probably go together like chocolate sauce and an onion.
THE PLOT: A lonely doctor who once occupied an unusual lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its former resident, a frustrated architect. They must try to unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary romance.
AFTER: Yep, I was right. All I ask from a time-travel movie is that it makes some sense, at least within the rules of time-travel that it establishes. This movie makes ZERO sense - less than that, can a movie make negative sense? There's no explanation of HOW the communication works between 2004 and 2006 - is it the mailbox, the house, the dog? And are we seeing alternate timelines, different realities, or what? How can a character be dead at one point in the film, and then alive again later? If time travel were to be possible, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't work like this. And why not just try to contact each other in 2005 - you know, split the difference?
I'm missing the whole point, I'm sure - maybe it's appealing to women to imagine someone watching them from afar, ready to love them "someday", as a fantasy.
RATING: 2 out of 10 pawprints (and those are for the Paul McCartney song in the end credits, which I hadn't heard before...)
BEFORE: Wrapping up Valentine's weekend, I've had a cold so I've been sleeping on the couch, just a few hours at a time, because I need to sleep sitting up, and I can't do that in the bed. I'll watch one more romance flick before switching gears. I've been putting this one off because I think I'm gonna hate it. Time travel and a chick flick probably go together like chocolate sauce and an onion.
THE PLOT: A lonely doctor who once occupied an unusual lakeside home begins exchanging love letters with its former resident, a frustrated architect. They must try to unravel the mystery behind their extraordinary romance.
AFTER: Yep, I was right. All I ask from a time-travel movie is that it makes some sense, at least within the rules of time-travel that it establishes. This movie makes ZERO sense - less than that, can a movie make negative sense? There's no explanation of HOW the communication works between 2004 and 2006 - is it the mailbox, the house, the dog? And are we seeing alternate timelines, different realities, or what? How can a character be dead at one point in the film, and then alive again later? If time travel were to be possible, I'm fairly sure it wouldn't work like this. And why not just try to contact each other in 2005 - you know, split the difference?
I'm missing the whole point, I'm sure - maybe it's appealing to women to imagine someone watching them from afar, ready to love them "someday", as a fantasy.
RATING: 2 out of 10 pawprints (and those are for the Paul McCartney song in the end credits, which I hadn't heard before...)
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Dark Knight
Day 45 - 2/14/09 - Movie #44
BEFORE: This may seem like an odd choice for a 2nd movie on Valentine's Day, but Michele and I watched this one together - I'm not sure when we last sat watched a movie together, I think the last time we went to the theater together, it was to see "Batman Begins" though. I think she wants to watch some of the superhero movies with me, like "Iron Man" and "Incredible Hulk". Anyway, I meant to go see this on the big-screen, but never found the time. And I definitely want to see Heath Ledger's performance before the Oscars are given out.
THE PLOT: Batman, Lt. Gordon and Harvey Dent are forced to deal with the chaos unleashed by an anarchist mastermind known as the Joker, as it drives each of them to their limits.
AFTER: It may be heresy for me to say this, but I'm not sure how Oscar-worthy Ledger's performance was. He played psychotic well, but with three different origin stories, how are we supposed to know what his motivation is? And without motivation, what drives the character? I guess this is more of a story problem than an acting problem, though. I will say that the Joker is a lot scarier as an urban terrorist than as a petty criminal. The movie was still way too long though, with too many twists. It was exciting, but could have been edited a lot tighter.
RATING: 7 out of 10 hostages
BEFORE: This may seem like an odd choice for a 2nd movie on Valentine's Day, but Michele and I watched this one together - I'm not sure when we last sat watched a movie together, I think the last time we went to the theater together, it was to see "Batman Begins" though. I think she wants to watch some of the superhero movies with me, like "Iron Man" and "Incredible Hulk". Anyway, I meant to go see this on the big-screen, but never found the time. And I definitely want to see Heath Ledger's performance before the Oscars are given out.
THE PLOT: Batman, Lt. Gordon and Harvey Dent are forced to deal with the chaos unleashed by an anarchist mastermind known as the Joker, as it drives each of them to their limits.
AFTER: It may be heresy for me to say this, but I'm not sure how Oscar-worthy Ledger's performance was. He played psychotic well, but with three different origin stories, how are we supposed to know what his motivation is? And without motivation, what drives the character? I guess this is more of a story problem than an acting problem, though. I will say that the Joker is a lot scarier as an urban terrorist than as a petty criminal. The movie was still way too long though, with too many twists. It was exciting, but could have been edited a lot tighter.
RATING: 7 out of 10 hostages
Chocolat
Day 45 - 2/14/09 - Movie #43
BEFORE: It's Valentine's Day, so what better choice than a movie about the transforming power of chocolate?
THE PLOT: A woman and her daughter open a chocolate shop that shakes up the rigid morality of a small French village.
AFTER: Well, I'm not sold on chocolate being the answer to the problems of everyone in town (sometimes the answer to my problems is BEER, not chocolate...), and a chocolatier's ability to guess everyone's form of chocolate is a little hard to swallow. But Alfred Molina was perfectly cast as the town mayor/villain. Juliette Binoche was a big blank to me, though - she got upstaged by Judi Dench and Lena Olin.
RATING: 4 out of 10 cocoa nibs
BEFORE: It's Valentine's Day, so what better choice than a movie about the transforming power of chocolate?
THE PLOT: A woman and her daughter open a chocolate shop that shakes up the rigid morality of a small French village.
AFTER: Well, I'm not sold on chocolate being the answer to the problems of everyone in town (sometimes the answer to my problems is BEER, not chocolate...), and a chocolatier's ability to guess everyone's form of chocolate is a little hard to swallow. But Alfred Molina was perfectly cast as the town mayor/villain. Juliette Binoche was a big blank to me, though - she got upstaged by Judi Dench and Lena Olin.
RATING: 4 out of 10 cocoa nibs
Waitress
Day 43 + 44 - 2/12 + 2/13/09 Movie #42
BEFORE: I worked late on Thursday, so the inevitable happened - I fell asleep halfway through this movie, and I had to finish it on Friday, after dinner and the premiere of "Survivor". I guess it really didn't hold my attention...
THE PLOT: A pregnant, unhappily married waitress in the deep south meets a newcomer to her town and falls into an unlikely relationship as a last attempt at happiness.
AFTER: Well, that was pretty pointless. I can't really feel sympathy for a woman who's married to a controlling, abusing a-hole (Jeremy Sisto was horribly miscast, BTW) when she does NOTHING to stand up for herself or improve her situation. Self pity is very unattractive. And her solution is to start an affair with her married baby-doctor? How's THAT gonna fix anything?
Sure, we can discuss hot sex as a substitute for female empowerment, but it's a poor substitute for character growth, especially when the hormone-controlled people having the affair both admit it seems wrong - so why continue it?
What's the message here - cheating feels good? Sex and giving birth give you the confidence to dump your husband? Poor, poor metaphors. And maybe someday a dying rich guy will give you money, and solve everything! Um...hurray?
RATING: 2 out of 10 pies
BEFORE: I worked late on Thursday, so the inevitable happened - I fell asleep halfway through this movie, and I had to finish it on Friday, after dinner and the premiere of "Survivor". I guess it really didn't hold my attention...
THE PLOT: A pregnant, unhappily married waitress in the deep south meets a newcomer to her town and falls into an unlikely relationship as a last attempt at happiness.
AFTER: Well, that was pretty pointless. I can't really feel sympathy for a woman who's married to a controlling, abusing a-hole (Jeremy Sisto was horribly miscast, BTW) when she does NOTHING to stand up for herself or improve her situation. Self pity is very unattractive. And her solution is to start an affair with her married baby-doctor? How's THAT gonna fix anything?
Sure, we can discuss hot sex as a substitute for female empowerment, but it's a poor substitute for character growth, especially when the hormone-controlled people having the affair both admit it seems wrong - so why continue it?
What's the message here - cheating feels good? Sex and giving birth give you the confidence to dump your husband? Poor, poor metaphors. And maybe someday a dying rich guy will give you money, and solve everything! Um...hurray?
RATING: 2 out of 10 pies
Shopgirl
Day 42 - 2/11/09 - Movie #41
BEFORE: Continuing with Valentine's Week, I know this is about an older man who falls for a Saks shopgirl in L.A. And I know it was based on a novella by Steve Martin, whose movies I usually like.
THE PLOT: A complex love triangle between a bored salesgirl, a wealthy businessman and an aimless young man.
AFTER: Well, it was an unorthodox love triangle, since Claire Danes' character dates both Steve Martin and Jason Schwartzman's characters, but not at the same time. I don't think I've seen a movie focus on a situation like that before.
Steve Martin's character is divorced and can't figure out how to love, then comes to realize he only wants sex - whereas Schwartzman's character is young and inept, he wants mainly a sexual relationship at first, then gradually matures and figures out how to love someone. It's a nice structure, and avoids being a re-tread of "Rushmore".
I can't say I found Claire Danes appealing, since her character is sort of flat and cardboardish, allowing things to happen to her, rather than making them happen. I guess some people might be like that? The relationship break-up was appropriately melancholy, and felt quite sincere and believable - so Martin the writer must have drawn on some real experiences.
RATING: 6 out of 10 gloves
BEFORE: Continuing with Valentine's Week, I know this is about an older man who falls for a Saks shopgirl in L.A. And I know it was based on a novella by Steve Martin, whose movies I usually like.
THE PLOT: A complex love triangle between a bored salesgirl, a wealthy businessman and an aimless young man.
AFTER: Well, it was an unorthodox love triangle, since Claire Danes' character dates both Steve Martin and Jason Schwartzman's characters, but not at the same time. I don't think I've seen a movie focus on a situation like that before.
Steve Martin's character is divorced and can't figure out how to love, then comes to realize he only wants sex - whereas Schwartzman's character is young and inept, he wants mainly a sexual relationship at first, then gradually matures and figures out how to love someone. It's a nice structure, and avoids being a re-tread of "Rushmore".
I can't say I found Claire Danes appealing, since her character is sort of flat and cardboardish, allowing things to happen to her, rather than making them happen. I guess some people might be like that? The relationship break-up was appropriately melancholy, and felt quite sincere and believable - so Martin the writer must have drawn on some real experiences.
RATING: 6 out of 10 gloves
French Kiss
Day 41 - 2/10/09 - Movie #40
BEFORE: Valentine's Week continues - still 1 movie behind, but maybe I can catch up on the weekend.
THE PLOT: A woman flies to France to confront her straying fiancé, but gets into trouble when the charming crook seated next to her uses her for smuggling.
AFTER: I was prepared to not like this movie - it's the last movie Meg Ryan tried to play "cute" in, I think. I couldn't stand how wishy-washy her character was - her fiance's with another woman, and her reaction is to - faint repeatedly? But Kevin Kline saved it - I've been a fan since "A Fish Called Wanda". His French accent was just slightly better than Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau, but at least the subplot with the necklace was interesting.
RATING: 7 out of 10 stolen passports
BEFORE: Valentine's Week continues - still 1 movie behind, but maybe I can catch up on the weekend.
THE PLOT: A woman flies to France to confront her straying fiancé, but gets into trouble when the charming crook seated next to her uses her for smuggling.
AFTER: I was prepared to not like this movie - it's the last movie Meg Ryan tried to play "cute" in, I think. I couldn't stand how wishy-washy her character was - her fiance's with another woman, and her reaction is to - faint repeatedly? But Kevin Kline saved it - I've been a fan since "A Fish Called Wanda". His French accent was just slightly better than Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau, but at least the subplot with the necklace was interesting.
RATING: 7 out of 10 stolen passports
Sea of Love
Day 40 - 2/9/09 - Movie #39
BEFORE: Well, Comic-Con is over, and Valentine's Day is coming up, so I'm going to line up some movies about love and romance.
THE PLOT: A New York detective investigates a case of a serial killer who finds the victims through the lonely hearts column in newspapers.
AFTER: I liked the twists and turns in this one, the way that it SUBTLY leads you into thinking Ellen Barkin's character might be the killer. Sublety is something that most thrillers don't have. And Al Pacino is great as usual. Always good to see character actors like John Spencer and William Hickey too.
RATING: 6 out of 10 personal ads
BEFORE: Well, Comic-Con is over, and Valentine's Day is coming up, so I'm going to line up some movies about love and romance.
THE PLOT: A New York detective investigates a case of a serial killer who finds the victims through the lonely hearts column in newspapers.
AFTER: I liked the twists and turns in this one, the way that it SUBTLY leads you into thinking Ellen Barkin's character might be the killer. Sublety is something that most thrillers don't have. And Al Pacino is great as usual. Always good to see character actors like John Spencer and William Hickey too.
RATING: 6 out of 10 personal ads
James and the Giant Peach
Day 38 + 39 - 2/7 + 2/8/09 - Movie #38
BEFORE: I was tired from working long hours at the New York Comic-Con, so I fell asleep 20 minutes into this film, and I didn't wake up again until it was time to get up and go back to the Javits Center. So, it took me 2 days to watch an 80-minute film - instead of being 1 movie ahead, I lost 2 days to the Con, and now I'm 1 movie behind.
THE PLOT: An orphan with terrible aunts for guardians befriends human-like bugs who live inside a giant peach and take the boy on a journey to New York City.
AFTER: Well, it was a little corny, and the acting of the kid who played James was just horrible, but I liked this for the most part. There were story points that didn't make sense, but I blame this on the book by Roald Dahl, which probably didn't make much sense either. Am I wrong to expect a fantasy book to make logical sense? There was a notable voice cast - Richard Dreyfuss, Susan Sarandon, Jane Leeves - but I didn't recognize any of them during the film. I had to go back and listen again after reading the credits. What's the point of casting Richard Dreyfuss in an animated film if he doesn't sound like himself?
RATING: 5 out of 10 seagulls
BEFORE: I was tired from working long hours at the New York Comic-Con, so I fell asleep 20 minutes into this film, and I didn't wake up again until it was time to get up and go back to the Javits Center. So, it took me 2 days to watch an 80-minute film - instead of being 1 movie ahead, I lost 2 days to the Con, and now I'm 1 movie behind.
THE PLOT: An orphan with terrible aunts for guardians befriends human-like bugs who live inside a giant peach and take the boy on a journey to New York City.
AFTER: Well, it was a little corny, and the acting of the kid who played James was just horrible, but I liked this for the most part. There were story points that didn't make sense, but I blame this on the book by Roald Dahl, which probably didn't make much sense either. Am I wrong to expect a fantasy book to make logical sense? There was a notable voice cast - Richard Dreyfuss, Susan Sarandon, Jane Leeves - but I didn't recognize any of them during the film. I had to go back and listen again after reading the credits. What's the point of casting Richard Dreyfuss in an animated film if he doesn't sound like himself?
RATING: 5 out of 10 seagulls
The Wild
Day 36 - 2/5/09 - Movie #37
We're setting up our booth at the New York Comic-Con tomorrow - so I have to get up early and rent a van at the U-Haul. So I only have time for a short movie or else I may oversleep. Time for Disney's rip-off of "Madagascar" - actually I recall they came out around the same time, so I don't know who ripped off who. But you have to admit Disney + Dreamworks do tend to put out similar films...
THE PLOT: An adolescent lion is accidentally shipped from the New York Zoo to Africa. His zoo pals must put aside their differences to help bring him back.
AFTER: Not too bad. A little heavy on the slapstick, a lot of animals falling down and bumping into things. But that's a common problem with animated films these days - the executives think that's what kids want to see. Good voice work by Keifer Sutherland, Jim Belushi, and of course, Eddie Izzard. Didn't recognize Janeane Garofalo though...I must be slipping.
RATING: 5 out of 10 stuffed koalas
We're setting up our booth at the New York Comic-Con tomorrow - so I have to get up early and rent a van at the U-Haul. So I only have time for a short movie or else I may oversleep. Time for Disney's rip-off of "Madagascar" - actually I recall they came out around the same time, so I don't know who ripped off who. But you have to admit Disney + Dreamworks do tend to put out similar films...
THE PLOT: An adolescent lion is accidentally shipped from the New York Zoo to Africa. His zoo pals must put aside their differences to help bring him back.
AFTER: Not too bad. A little heavy on the slapstick, a lot of animals falling down and bumping into things. But that's a common problem with animated films these days - the executives think that's what kids want to see. Good voice work by Keifer Sutherland, Jim Belushi, and of course, Eddie Izzard. Didn't recognize Janeane Garofalo though...I must be slipping.
RATING: 5 out of 10 stuffed koalas
The Iron Giant
Day 35 - 2/4/09 - Movie #36
BEFORE: I've literally been trying to watch this movie for a decade, and something's always gotten in the way. They ran it on premium cable about 2 years ago, but my cable was acting up, and I got a bad copy, lots of static and pixellation. Now I'm finally gonna watch it...
THE PLOT: A boy makes friends with an innocent alien giant robot that a paranoid government agent wants to destroy.
AFTER: Well, I liked "Robots" better - but this was OK. Maybe a little too sentimental. But the voice work, by Harry Connick Jr., Chris MacDonald, and even Vin Diesel (!) was great. I know it was critically acclaimed, and maybe I had high expectations after waiting so long to see it, but it's a little hard for me to understand what all the fuss was about.
RATING: 6 out of 10 missiles
BEFORE: I've literally been trying to watch this movie for a decade, and something's always gotten in the way. They ran it on premium cable about 2 years ago, but my cable was acting up, and I got a bad copy, lots of static and pixellation. Now I'm finally gonna watch it...
THE PLOT: A boy makes friends with an innocent alien giant robot that a paranoid government agent wants to destroy.
AFTER: Well, I liked "Robots" better - but this was OK. Maybe a little too sentimental. But the voice work, by Harry Connick Jr., Chris MacDonald, and even Vin Diesel (!) was great. I know it was critically acclaimed, and maybe I had high expectations after waiting so long to see it, but it's a little hard for me to understand what all the fuss was about.
RATING: 6 out of 10 missiles
Robots
Day 34 - 2/3/09 - Movie #35
BEFORE: It's late on Monday (early on Tuesday) and my trivia team came in 2nd place tonight - which meant I got home late, and there's work tomorrow, so I'm back to choosing short(er) animated films.
THE PLOT: In a robot world, a young inventor travels to the big city to join his idol's company, only to find himself opposing its sinister new management.
AFTER: This was just technically astounding - the computer animation really impressed me, which is rare. The voice cast was stellar, though I could have done without Robin Williams, basically acting like the manic Genie from "Aladdin" again. But Ewan MacGregor, Mel Brooks, Drew Carey and Greg Kinnear were all great. I didn't recognize Hally Berry, Stanley Tucci, Dianne Wiest and a bunch of cameos, which suggests to me that maybe their voices weren't all that distinctive. But all-around it was a good thrill-ride, if a tiny bit confusing and over the top.
RATING: 8 out of 10 wrenches
BEFORE: It's late on Monday (early on Tuesday) and my trivia team came in 2nd place tonight - which meant I got home late, and there's work tomorrow, so I'm back to choosing short(er) animated films.
THE PLOT: In a robot world, a young inventor travels to the big city to join his idol's company, only to find himself opposing its sinister new management.
AFTER: This was just technically astounding - the computer animation really impressed me, which is rare. The voice cast was stellar, though I could have done without Robin Williams, basically acting like the manic Genie from "Aladdin" again. But Ewan MacGregor, Mel Brooks, Drew Carey and Greg Kinnear were all great. I didn't recognize Hally Berry, Stanley Tucci, Dianne Wiest and a bunch of cameos, which suggests to me that maybe their voices weren't all that distinctive. But all-around it was a good thrill-ride, if a tiny bit confusing and over the top.
RATING: 8 out of 10 wrenches
Coffee and Cigarettes
Day 33 - 2/2/09 - Movie #34
BEFORE: I heard good things about this one, some people who's comedy opinion I usually respect told me I should check it out. I heard this was made by Jim Jarmusch over a period of 10 years or so.
THE PLOT: A series of vignettes that all have coffee and cigarettes in common.
AFTER: I fell asleep in the middle, but I don't think it was the movie's fault. But since it's essentially a collection of short films, that's OK, I just went back to where I left off. I really liked the one with Cate Blanchett, and the one with the White Stripes - otherwise it was a little hit-and-miss for me. I usually like Steven Wright, so I guess that segment was funny. I guess.
RATING: 5 out of 10 sugar cubes
BEFORE: I heard good things about this one, some people who's comedy opinion I usually respect told me I should check it out. I heard this was made by Jim Jarmusch over a period of 10 years or so.
THE PLOT: A series of vignettes that all have coffee and cigarettes in common.
AFTER: I fell asleep in the middle, but I don't think it was the movie's fault. But since it's essentially a collection of short films, that's OK, I just went back to where I left off. I really liked the one with Cate Blanchett, and the one with the White Stripes - otherwise it was a little hit-and-miss for me. I usually like Steven Wright, so I guess that segment was funny. I guess.
RATING: 5 out of 10 sugar cubes
Barton Fink
Day 32 - 2/1/09 - Movie #33
BEFORE: It's Super Bowl Sunday, perhaps I should watch a movie about football - but this one's been on the books for such a long time... I'm a big fan of "Fargo" and "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" - I think I might have tried to watch this one before and failed...
THE PLOT: In 1941, New York intellectual playwright Barton Fink comes to Hollywood to write a wrestling picture..
AFTER: Two bits of film theory come to mind - I just learned about "gearshift" movies - films that completely change direction midway through, and this seems like a good example of that. To me, there's usually nothing more tedious than a film about how hard it is to make a film, or a story about a writer who can't write - what do you do when THAT is your only idea? My guess is that there was no way to properly finish this film, so they threw in a curveball with the serial killer.
Secondly, on Jeopardy! today, they mentioned a famous filmmaking "rule" - if you introduce a gun, it should go off, someone should be shot. No plot points should be wasted - but this film leaves so many loose ends - What was in the mysterious box? Are Barton's parents OK? Will Barton Fink change hotels, or tell the police how to catch the killer? Am I the only one asking these questions? More of a NON-Ending if you ask me.
RATING: 4 out of 10 typewriters
BEFORE: It's Super Bowl Sunday, perhaps I should watch a movie about football - but this one's been on the books for such a long time... I'm a big fan of "Fargo" and "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" - I think I might have tried to watch this one before and failed...
THE PLOT: In 1941, New York intellectual playwright Barton Fink comes to Hollywood to write a wrestling picture..
AFTER: Two bits of film theory come to mind - I just learned about "gearshift" movies - films that completely change direction midway through, and this seems like a good example of that. To me, there's usually nothing more tedious than a film about how hard it is to make a film, or a story about a writer who can't write - what do you do when THAT is your only idea? My guess is that there was no way to properly finish this film, so they threw in a curveball with the serial killer.
Secondly, on Jeopardy! today, they mentioned a famous filmmaking "rule" - if you introduce a gun, it should go off, someone should be shot. No plot points should be wasted - but this film leaves so many loose ends - What was in the mysterious box? Are Barton's parents OK? Will Barton Fink change hotels, or tell the police how to catch the killer? Am I the only one asking these questions? More of a NON-Ending if you ask me.
RATING: 4 out of 10 typewriters
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