Tuesday, March 26, 2013

How to Steal a Million

Year 5, Day 85 - 3/26/13 - Movie #1,386

BEFORE: Back to regular heist films, as seen on TCM.  Linking from "Millions", Leslie Phillips (who had a bit role last night playing Leslie Phillips - how did he get THAT role?) was also in "Venus" with Peter O'Toole (last seen in, yep, "Venus")


THE PLOT:  Romantic comedy about a woman who must steal a statue from a Paris museum to help conceal her father's art forgeries, and the man who helps her.

FOLLOW-UP TO:  "The Thomas Crown Affair" (Movies #324 + 325)

AFTER: So many of these heist films are stag affairs, you might think that women have no genetic predisposition for theft.  It's refreshing to see a film that asks if a man and woman can fall in love while committing an art robbery - I'm guessing they can.  If a man and woman can fall in love while running a zoo, they can do so while stealing art.

Actually, it's fake art - a statue of Venus NOT made by the sculptor Cellini, but the only people who know that are the forger and his daughter.  She enlists the help of a suave cat burglar to steal the statue back from the museum before they can test its authenticity, and thus expose her father's profitable art scam.  But the burglar might not be who he claims, either - jeez, if the tagline for this film wasn't "Nothing is real...except their LOVE!", then some poster designer missed the boat.

The professional burglar, at least as portrayed on film, has to be part criminal, part hi-tech expert, part "gadget guy", part human nature expert, and part Don Juan.  So Paris' prisons are probably filled with a lot of cool characters with a Peter O'Toole or Pierce Brosnan vibe.  Ah, those were the days, back before security cameras were watching our every move, and all you had to do was figure out the break schedules of a few sleepy security guards.  Then you'd jump into your Jaguar or Lamborghini, and it's back to the Ritz hotel.

I liked the technical elements of the heist here (the lead female's incessant whining to her "PaPAA!", not so much) - Peter O'Toole makes stealing a statue look cool, and almost effortless.  Not to give anything away, but why work on disabling an alarm system when you can convince the guards to do that for you?  Plus, part of not getting caught is looking like you belong - I never skipped class in high-school, but I would often leave early if I had a study hall at the end of the day.  The easiest way to leave was right through the front door, waving to the principal's secretary on the way out.  If I tried to go out the back, I'd get nabbed by the gym teacher, but walking out the front door?  Everyone just assumed I had a valid excuse.

I deal with a lot of art myself - animation art, but that still counts.  The animator I work for has literally thousands of drawings for sale at any point, and we don't print up Certificates of Authenticity, except for our most picky clients.  Anyway, the COA's could be forged too, so what's the point?  I feel like the first line of defense in verifying for our customers that each drawing was signed by the director, and that they're buying an actual hand-drawn drawing that appeared in a film.  Once in a while we get two customers interested in the same piece of art, and the animator offers to draw it again, but then someone would get short-changed - it would still be an original hand-drawn piece, but not one that appeared on film.  So I'd rather disappoint one of the customers than send out a fake.

I've got my own collection on the wall, about 80 autographs from "Star Wars" actors, with the COA's whenever possible (I think maybe 2 or 3 were bought on the cheap and don't have authentification).  Even then, if I should ever sell the collection, I'll be better off if I can prove where the photos were signed, what event the actor appeared at, who the seller was, etc.  I won't buy off eBay because it's filled with fakes - people have the nerve to post Alec Guinness autographs that look like they were signed yesterday, and not only is the guy dead, but he was notorious for not signing anything related to "Star Wars".

Also starring Audrey Hepburn (last seen in "Always"), Hugh Griffith (last seen in "Tom Jones"), Eli Wallach (last seen in "The Ghost Writer"), Charles Boyer (last seen in "Around the World in 80 Days").

RATING: 5 out of 10 fake Van Goghs

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