The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Year 17, Day 285 - 10/12/25 - Movie #5,168 - WATCHED ON 8/5/25.   

BEFORE: Well, let's just say I had a feeling back in August that I should go see this movie in theaters (and actually PAY for it, which is a bit unusual). This is the third film I've seen in a real movie theater this year, the first two were "Thunderbolts" and "Superman", so clearly I have my priorities in order. I only saw "Superman" for free, I went to AMC for "Discount Tuesday" on the other two, so I probably spent more on popcorn and a bevvie than I did for the tickets. Also "Superman" was probably the most crowded, as I was seeing it along with guild members who didn't pay either, at the theater where I work. Well, I may be underpaid but I get some cool fringe benefits once in a while. I know, I know, I shouldn't get high on my own supply but for superhero films I'm willing to make an exception. 

I just knew this would fit into my planned horror film SOMEWHERE, since it has Ralph Ineson in it. He carries over from "The First Omen" and provides the voice of Galactus, the main villain who had been proven impossible to film in previous movies based on this superhero quartet. 

It kind of feels like I hit the halfway point for the October horror chain a couple days ago (the real halfway point is still coming up) and now the films coming up are some weird kind of reverse echo of the first half, like I'm getting out of this chain the same way I came in, but that's not totally accurate. There's really no rhyme or reason to it all, because I planned it by linking and not by genre or themes, but I think the really scary stuff's going to kick in soon and the next two weeks are really just another mish-mash of various horror types, I think it only FEELS symmetrical, if that makes any sense. But the important thing is that I ended up with Marvel movies on the first and last days of New York Comic-Con, I know it's just circumstantial, but another part of me looks at occurrences like that and it all seems like it's in order somehow. 

THE PLOT: Forced to balance their roles as heroes with the strength of their family bond, the Fantastic Four must defend Earth from a ravenous space god called Galactus and his enigmatic herald, Silver Surfer.

AFTER: Good or bad, the Fantastic Four are my jam, this is based on the FIRST Marvel Comic that I read regularly - obviously I'm not old enough to have read their first adventures from 1963, but for a lot of people, not just me, Fantastic Four was their first Marvel comic. I got into collecting comics with FF and the Marvel adaptations of "Star Wars", they also continued the S.W. story past the movie, they had the "untold" stories of what the characters did between the movies, and i just had to know. 

But Fantastic Four was my gateway to the Marvel Universe, and I was lucky enough to get on board when the team was the classic four of Mister Fantastic, the Invisible Woman, the Human Torch and the Thing, and John Byrne was the writer/artist and their adventures were killer and classic. Two years after I started reading they came out with a 12-issue maxi-series called "Secret Wars", where all the best heroes and villains got teleported away to another planet and had to fight each other while being observed by a cosmic being called The Beyonder. They were gone a month or two (in Marvel time) but for the people they left on earth, 1 or 2 fill-in issues were published, focused on minor characters or what happened while the heroes were away. Then the heroes came back and Spider-Man had a new costume, the line-up of the Fantastic Four was different, and other heroes were similarly affected by whatever happened in space, and you then had to buy 12 more issues over the next year to find out what went down. 

Very sneaky, and it made me want to start reading Avengers and X-Men and Spider-Man books, this was all masterminded by a writer named Jim Shooter, who also happened to be Marvel's editor in chief. He kind of revolutionized the industry by inventing the company-wide crossover, otherwise known as "Hey, if you like the book you're reading, you have to buy these ten OTHER comics to see the rest of the story." Shooter passed away four months ago, and I'm not sure if he's in comic-book heaven now or comic-book hell, honestly. I mean, he wrote some good stories but his sales tactics were just plain ruthless. But those tactics live on as a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, whose motto is, "Hey, if you like the movie you're watching, you also have to watch these ten OTHER movies to see the rest of the story." Tell me I'm wrong, but I'm not. 

This version of the Fantastic Four story is set in Earth-818, a different dimension from the usual MCU, a place where it's always 1972 but still technology is very futuristic, also the American culture is miraculously ethnically diverse and pretty damn woke. Well, sure, a movie represents the time period that it's made in, not the time period that it's set in. We think of things like vinyl records, primitive rocket ships, groovy furniture and a functioning democracy and we recognize this as the 1960's, but this is also a world that has working robots, people with super-powers and a shot at inter-stellar travel. No doubt some of this is due to the inventive genius of Reed Richards, a guy who's smart enough to build a rocket to go into space, but not smart enough to properly shield the astronauts inside from cosmic rays. (Or maybe he KNEW about them and chose to gain super-powers from them, this is a bone of contention in some of the comics.)

It's been FOUR years (coincidence?) since the mission that gave Reed and his wife, brother-in-law and best friend super-powers, and there's a convenient TV special that is celebrating their power-versary and also giving us their complete back-story, in case you never read the comics. They're apparently the ONLY heroes on this earth, which is, you know, a choice - we saw an alternate version of Reed Richards in the second "Dr. Strange" movie, he was part of another reality's Illuminati, aka the ones with super-powers who are also in charge. Reed was played by a different actor there, so we have to believe that all Reeds are not alike, however the comic book suggests that all the Reed Richardses in the Multiverse can talk to each other, once each one figures out that there IS a multiverse, and how to access it. Council of the Cross-Time Mister Fantastics, or something like that. Put a pin in that for a moment. 

Things are looking up in this reality, which some are calling the "Kirby-Verse", not for actress Vanessa Kirby but for Marvel artist legend Jack Kirby, who co-created the FF with Stan Lee and probably decided what they all should look like.  The world is at peace, super-villain crime is kept in check by the Fantastic Four and Reed's now working on curing cancer, probably. Reed and his wife Sue learn that she's having a baby, and the only question is about whether it will have super-powers. 

But this peace is interrupted by the arrival of the Silver Surfer, a cosmic herald who warns them that the planet has been designated as "tasty" by the planet-devouring Galactus, so really, it's a great honor to be chosen as his next meal, it's part of the cosmic order of things, kind of like black holes. But the Fantastic Four aren't ready to back down without a fight, so they track the Surfer (a female in this universe, but the one in the main comic-book universe is a dude) by her energy. They use Reed's new faster rocket to follow her into space, where they confirm that Galactus IS eating planets, basically converting matter into energy, because we all know that matter can't be destroyed, only transformed. Despite Galactus' enormous size, the puny humans gain an audience with him, and he agrees to spare the Earth, in exchange for Reed & Sue's unborn baby, as he can sense the child's cosmic power and believes it could put an end to his hunger somehow.  

What's the big deal, it's one baby - they can just have another one, right? One baby to save the life of BILLIONS on humans on Earth. That sounds like a great deal, the Fantastic Four can go back to Earth and be even greater heroes than before, everybody on Earth will owe them a huge favor and they'll be hailed as saviors, and peace and prosperity can reign. Except for some reason they DON'T take Galactus up on his deal, and they get back in their spaceship to return to Earth and plan an impossible defense. Sue gives birth along the way, but, you know, it's a family film so this is tastefully handled, really if you're nervous about having "the talk" with your own kids maybe just show them this, and they'll either understand everything or they'll think that babies are born in zero gravity whenever a woman takes her clothes off.

Back home on Earth, the heroes hold a press conference, and it seems that many citizens agree with me, they can't believe that the Fantastic Four didn't give up their BABY to save Earth. Again, I think this was the simplest solution, and with Reed Richards being the totally logical genius that they claim he is, I don't know why he didn't see things that way himself. (Galactus here is really just a take on the Fat Bastard character from the Austin Powers movies, he just wants to eat a baby, is that so wrong? Are we really going so pro-life here?)  But anyway, now they have a limited amount of time to find a way to defeat Galactus. I remember one issue of the comic book where Reed said that he considered his real super-power to be his brain, not his stretchiness. There's some truth to that, because we do see him here coming up with scientific solutions that represent out-of-the-box thinking. (Just not "give up your baby" out-of-the-box.) 

But it's Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, who comes up with the idea of deciphering the alien language of the Silver Surfer from the deep space transmissions that they have on vinyl records (classic!) which were heard before each time Galactus snacked on a planet. This is pretty out of character for Johnny, he's really only supposed to be about racing hot cars and dating hotter women at this point in his life, so it's a little hard for me to believe in his alien language translating skills It would have been more believable if Reed Richards just invented some kind of universal translator, which should be within his skill set. But they tried to tone down Johnny's serial horny bachelor ways, and also Reed's busy coming up with a way to defeat Galactus, of course, and there's part of me that's not crazy about his solution, either. THIS is impossible, THAT's impossible, this other thing is unproven but it's just crazy enough to work - none of this feels very scientific, and Reed should be all about the science. 

I also think they should have just gone with time-dilation as a way to bring the F.F. into the MCU - they could have had their rocket ship launch from Earth in 1972, but the original rocket design wasn't faster than light, so it took them years to reach another planet, and then when they finally make their way BACK, only a few months have passed for them, but maybe 30 or 40 years have gone by on Earth. But I guess they already used that trick in the "Captain Marvel" movie, plus they would need the movie audience to understand the theory of relativity and its effect on non-hyperspace travel, and most people probably don't have the education for that.  

I've got some issues with the depiction of the Thing here, for starters his voice is too high. And it's not gravel-ly enough, it's just not how I imagine the Thing sounds when he talks. I realize this depends on the actor playing him, but since the voice doesn't match the character for me, and we never really SEE the human Ben Grimm, I don't understand why they cast THIS guy, sorry. I also hate, hate, HATE the robot known as H.E.R.B.I.E. and I don't see why they had to include him in the movie. Sure, he's retro but he's also silly and stupid.

Also also, I don't understand why the Fantastic Four need their own universe, the X-Men need their own universe, and Venom and some of the Spider-Man villains have their own as well. If only there were a way to bring all of these stories together, in some kind of new, shared universe so they could all meet each other...oh, I think this is coming eventually, so do yourself a favor and go out and buy the trade paperback of something called "Secret Wars" (the first Marvel series with this name, from 1983, not the lame second one) and you may get a glimpse of what's ahead in the MCU, just saying. Comic book history tends to repeat itself, over and over.

Still, this is the BEST Fantastic Four movie made to date, it's much much better than the last one that was served up to us in 2015, the Josh Trank one. That was embarrassingly terrible. By comparison, this new one is closer to "Citizen Kane" or "Gone with the Wind" - even if I'm not 100% on-board for everything that happened here, it's a vast improvement. 

Directed by Matt Shakman (director of "Cut Bank")

Also starring Pedro Pascal (last heard in "The Wild Robot"), Vanessa Kirby (last seen in "Napoleon"), Ebon Moss-Bachrach (last seen in "Lying and Stealing"), Joseph Quinn (last seen in "Gladiator II"), Julia Garner (last seen in "The Assistant"), Natasha Lyonne (last seen in "Pee-Wee as Himself"), Paul Walter Hauser (last seen in "Old Dads"), Sarah Niles (last seen in "Happy-Go-Lucky"), Mark Gatiss (last seen in "Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie"), Ada Scott, Maisie Shakman, Patrick Miller, Mather Zickel (last seen in "Balls of Fury"), Bertie Caplan (last seen in "Wonka"), Martin Dickinson, Greg Haiste, Nathaniel Brimmer-Beller, Cheyenne Dasri,

and with cameos from Alex Hyde-White (last seen in "Nope"), Rebecca Staab, (redacted) and the voices of Matthew Wood (last heard in "Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania"), Corey Burton (last heard in "Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood")

RATING: 7 out of 10 Moloids (underground mole people, yeah, that's a thing)