BEFORE: Ray Liotta carries over from "Identity", he died four months ago, but he's still appearing in my watchlist films, and now he's going to make the year-end countdown. I also want to send out an incredibly rare Shocktober Birthday SHOUT-out to Noah Schnapp, most famous for playing Will Byers in "Stranger Things", less famous for appearing in "Hubie Halloween" two years ago.
THE PLOT: Despite his devotion to his hometown of Salem (and its Halloween celebration), Hubie Dubois is a figure of mockery for kids and adults alike. But this year, something is going bump in the night, and it's up to Hubie to save Halloween.
AFTER: Say something nice, say something nice... Well, at least I'm clearing the very silly Halloween films off my list first, like this one and "Muppets Haunted Mansion", which allows me to build up to the very scary ones for the week of October 31. This is a film, however, which sort of toggles between being very, very clunky and being classified as "poorly written". It can't really seem to decide if it wants to be funny or not, which is deadly for something billed as a comedy. And then the main character is wildly inconsistent, he loves Halloween but he also hates being scared, because he scares so easily, so, umm, what is it that he LOVES about Halloween, exactly? For some reason he's obsessed with rules and safety procedures, so he sets out to insure that everyone has a safe Halloween, but this makes him a total buzzkill, so everyone in town hates him? Hubie seems to have forgotten that Halloween is supposed to be fun, just like the filmmakers here forgot that a comedy is supposed to be funny, or at least amusing.
I guess this was aimed at kids? There's nothing overtly violent or demonic about it, so it's kind of safe for the whole family, but I have no idea what kids find funny these days, they might find a film about a guy who takes Halloween too seriously and is a total downer to be, well, something of a downer. Or a drag. Do kids still call things "downers" and "drags"? Or would they say this is "wack"? Wait, was "wack" good or bad? Whatever the current slang is for "not funny", this is that.
Adam Sandler used to be funny, I don't know what happened. Was it the giant movie deal he signed with Netflix that made him stop trying, like when your favorite indie band signs a multi-album deal with Epic Records and then their albums start to suck? Or did Sandler just keep playing weirder and weirder characters, starting with Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore and The Waterboy through to that guy in "Punch-Drunk Love", Sandy Wexler and the desperate diamond dealer in "Uncut Gems", to the point where he stayed in his acting lane so long that it just became narrower and narrower, and he can't get out of it? Because that would sort of lead him here, to playing Hubie Dubois, who's another non-grown-up man-child who speaks in a weird way and has trouble navigating the world of adults. It's kind of an all-too-common theme for him, right?
He's such a pain in the ass here that nearly everyone in the town of Salem, MA is tired of dealing with him, the way he reports every little infraction to the police, the way he lectures the school kids about Halloween safety when nobody asked him to, the way he SUPER over-reacts when something scares him, even if it's just a sudden movement or a loud noise. Maybe if he just calm down for a few minutes or maybe get some therapy and get his sh*t together, then he wouldn't be such an easy mark. Logically he should HATE Halloween, he should be like the Grinch but for October 31, but since he's descended from someone who was in the Salem witch trials long ago, he can't help but take it all to seriously? Come on, is this even a thing?
The one redeeming thing, and it's a small bit of redemption, is that eventually the film sort of treats Hubie's bullies correctly. Note that he NEVER fights back, not even when people throw axes and large appliances at him while he's riding his bike across town. Never an angry word or an obscene hand gesture from him, he just stays the course and stays true to himself, and he doesn't seek revenge. Before the end of the film, it's revealed that all of his tormentors hate themselves in some way, or feel inadequate, and they're secretly jealous of Hubie's positive attitude. This is spot on for most bullies, I believe, and kudos to the film for never showing Hubie getting angry or vengeful, or worse, training to fight back.
But the rest of the film is just plain stupid, from the tired "serial killer" P.O.V. shots to the lost-in-a-corn-maze bit, to the super-gadgety Thermos that Hubie "invented" that is more multi-functional than a Swiss Army knife. The Thermos is just one dumb idea in a film filled with dumb ideas, ones that never really come together to form something bigger than the sum of their parts. It would make more sense to treat Hubie as if he's not just socially inept but also maybe learning-disabled or on the autism spectrum, somebody who's well-meaning but awkward in the way he goes about doing things, or just sees the world a bit differently. But, again, to what end? It's not for the sake of comedy, so for what, then?
It's a chance for all of Adam Sandler's friends and family to get together and have fun, I guess. I sort of admire the way he gets his kids involved in his movies, the whole thing feels like a family affair, but is that really the BEST way to make a movie? It's nepotism at worst, and quite self-indulgent at least. I'd rather acknowledge all of the tiny references to previous Adam Sandler films, along with shout-outs to films like "Jaws" and "Christine". There surely must be a list of all the "Easter Eggs" (or "Halloween Eggs") in this movie posted somewhere.
Also starring Adam Sandler (last seen in "Uncut Gems"), Kevin James (last heard in "Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation"), Julie Bowen (last seen in "Life of the Party"), Steve Buscemi (last seen in "Romance & Cigarettes"), Rob Schneider (last seen in "The One and Only Dick Gregory"), Maya Rudolph (last seen in "Betty White: First Lady of Television"), Tim Meadows (last seen in "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping"), Michael Chiklis (last seen in "The Do-Over"), June Squibb (last heard in "Soul"), George Wallace (last seen in "Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project"), Kenan Thompson (last heard in "Trolls 2: World Tour"), Shaquille O'Neal (last seen in "After the Sunset"), Ben Stiller (last seen in "Locked Down"), Jackie Sandler (last seen in "Murder Mystery"), Sadie Sandler (ditto), Sunny Sandler (ditto), Karan Brar (last seen in "Pacific Rim: Uprising"), Noah Schapp (last seen in "Bridge of Spies"), Paris Berelc, China Anne McClain (last seen in "Grown Ups 2"), Colin Quinn (last seen in "Drunk Parents"), Kym Whitley (last seen in "Fist Fight"), Lavell Crawford (last seen in "Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates"), Blake Clark (last seen in "Between Two Ferns: The Movie"), Dan Patrick (last seen in "The Week Of"), Jared Sandler (ditto), Mikey Day (last seen in "Brittany Runs a Marathon"), Peyton List (last seen in "27 Dresses"), Tyler Crumley (last seen in "Driven"), Ella Stiller, Dan Bulla (last seen in "Sandy Wexler"), Tim Herlihy (ditto), Paul Sado (last seen in "The Clapper"), Yolande Bavan (last seen in "One True Thing"), Melissa Villaseñor (last heard in "Ralph Breaks the Internet"), Allen Covert, Martin Herlihy, Betsy Sodaro (also last heard in "Trolls 2: World Tour"), Juliette Pagano, Alaina Pinto, Ella Grace Helton, Lance Lim, Kelly Berglund, Bradley Steven Perry, Amber Frank, Karsen Liotta, Damien Di Paola (last seen in "Chappaquiddick"),
RATING: 3 out of 10 "Scream" masks
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