Monday, January 26, 2015

16 Blocks

Year 7, Day 26 - 1/26/15 - Movie #1,926

BEFORE: Winding down the January programming, getting ready for February's romance-themed films.  "Moonrise Kingdom" was a nice precursor, but first I've got one more week of action-ey films.  Bruce Willis will help kick off the romance chain, but first he carries over from "The Kid".

THE PLOT: An aging cop is assigned the ordinary task of escorting a fast-talking witness from police custody to a courthouse. There are however forces at work trying to stop prevent them from making it.

AFTER: The problem with an actor giving a character a prominent accent is that he then must maintain it for the entire film, and if that accent is designed to be annoying, then that's two strikes right there.  When this is done by Mos Def, an actor of no fixed ability that I don't happen to care for, the problem is compounded.  Three strikes, you're out.  Making a character talk in an Urkel-like fashion makes sense if that character is supposed to be a super-nerd, but if he's a petty street criminal, it doesn't make much sense.  

The premise here is that a burned-out detective who's essentially given up on his career and his life is assigned the relatively simple task of getting this criminal to court to testify, a mere 16 blocks from the holding cell to the courtroom, but a world away if you have to deal with NYC traffic.  Am I right, people?  Seriously, there's a lot more to the story than the initial delivery job, and it involves the detective's back-story and a whole bunch of corrupt cops who have, shall we say, different plans for the witness.  

My main NITPICK POINT is that getting a witness from the jail to the courtroom is probably not the job for a cop, especially considering the type of evidence this guy represents.  Wouldn't this be the job of a corrections officer, rather than a detective or a cop?   We're told that the guy who was supposed to do this job got stuck in traffic, and if you consider there's probably allowances for this in the D.O.C., I'm guessing they'd just use a back-up prison vehicle rather than shift it back to the precinct.  But I don't work in that world, so it's just idle speculation on my part.  Also, a corrections officer would probably use an official prison transport, rather than a detective's car, which isn't set up for this sort of thing. 

Then again, if you've ever tried to navigate the streets of Chinatown in NYC, north of the courthouse area on Centre St., it's probably quicker to walk the 16 blocks, as long as you don't take the path shown in this film, through various basements, rooftops, and back alleys.  Actually, I'm trying to figure out what the 16 blocks are, and I may know a little too much about NYC geography to do this.  I can't find any prisons that are 16 blocks away from the Centre St. courthouse, so maybe the witness was in a holding cell at a NYC precinct, but none of them seem to be 16 blocks away, either.  Are we talking about 16 blocks as the crow flies, or are we talking about 10 blocks west and then 6 blocks south, or something?  

I know they passed Canal St. because of the subway, and at one point they were shown on Mulberry and Broome.  Perhaps they started at the 7th precinct on Pitt + Broome, but that's a few more than 16 blocks to Centre St.  Forget it, I've spent too much time on this already.  Anyway, they shot a lot of this in Toronto, so the geography's probably all screwed up.

There's some clever stuff here, but in general the premise is pretty outlandish.  I mean, we know now that NYC cops have the utmost respect for all people, and treat people of all races exactly the same, right? 

Also starring Mos Def (last seen in "The Hard Way"), David Morse (last seen in "World War Z"), Jenna Stern, Casey Sander, David Zayas.

RATING: 5 out of 10 Chinese laundrys

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