BEFORE: I swear I had this programmed for later in the year, then as you may recall a large portion of my watchlist got turned around to accommodate "Into the Woods", and as a result of that I'm watching a football-themed action movie this week to wrap up the Bruce Willis. I'm being told there's some kind of important game taking place in a few days - these things often have a funny way of working out.
THE PLOT: A down and out cynical detective teams up with a down and out ex-quarterback to try and solve a murder.
AFTER: ANOTHER burned-out detective? Oh, wait, this time Bruce Willis is a burned-out, former Secret Service agent. That's completely different. He only became a P.I. after that. Once again, Willis' burnout is in the wrong place at the wrong time, and is the only person who can see the big picture.
Sometimes, you find a film that ends up seeming 20 years ahead of its time. Like the way "2001: A Space Odyssey", released in 1968, depicted people using laptop computers and Skype - sorry, making video phone calls. The film was so prescient in its depiction of technology that they were able to make the sequel film, "2010", in 1984 without missing much of a beat. Or the way that they're getting around now to making the hoverboards and self-tying sneakers seen in "Back to the Future II" (right on schedule, oddly enough...)
Another case in point is "The Last Boy Scout". With relation to (relatively) current news stories, this film features the following:
1) NFL players being kicked out of the league for drug use, and also using handguns. Just a few years ago, it would have been strange to find out that an NFL player was in trouble for something that DIDN'T involve drugs or guns. But back in 1991, this was relatively unheard of, I think. Now, the NFL player depicted here happens to be carrying a gun on the field, in the middle of a game (!!), but still. (Please, nobody tell the Patriots that this is an option, or we'll be sorting out GunGate after the Super Bowl is over.) You'd think that there would be some way to prevent guns from getting into the stadium or the locker room, and you'd be wrong (apparently). How many yards is your team penalized if you shoot another player, I wonder?
2) A racist team owner with a secret black girlfriend. Admittedly, the character here is in the NFL, not the NBA, but he's still very reminiscent of Donald Sterling. And if he were any more of a cartoon, he'd be the Rich Texan from "The Simpsons", because we all know that team owners are super rich, and therefore evil, and would take over the country if you let them, right?
3) Bad guys (admittedly home-grown criminals, not foreign terrorists) are seen attempting to blow up a football stadium. Again, this is from 1991, before 9/11, before even the first attack on the World Trade Center, I think. Yet this is now a major concern at every sporting event, right? If not, it should be. What's more representative of the American way of life than our idiotic pastimes?
4) Friday Night Football. I'm no sports expert, but this is a relatively new thing, no? Or am I thinking of Thursday Night Football? I'm sure that back in 1991 there were only Saturday, Sunday and Monday games. Wait, let me check Wikipedia - there are Friday night games now, but only late in the season, so as not to conflict with college or high school games. Ah, Friday Night Lights, got it.
Still, given all that, the story is mostly a mess. There's a complex plot involving a senator who has a history with Willis' character, and this somehow involves a Senate committee on legalized gambling, which isn't even a thing in real life, right? I mean, no one could have predicted we'd live in a world where the Tea Party took over and dismantled the Federal goverment and shifted 99% of these sort of decisions on to the individual states. (that happened, right?)
Also starring Damon Wayans (last seen in "Colors"), Halle Berry (last seen in "X-Men: Days of Future Past"), Noble Willingham (last seen in "Guarding Tess"), Chelsea Field (last seen in "The Birds II: Land's End"), Taylor Negron, Bruce McGill (last seen in "Cliffhanger"), Chelcie Ross, Kim Coates (also carrying over from "Hostage"), Danielle Harris, Billy Blanks, with cameos from Bill Medley, Eddie Griffin, Dick Butkus, Lynn Swann.
RATING: 3 out of 10 signed trading cards
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