BEFORE: Yes, the Greek Gods carry over in another film made in 2010 (that's 4 in a row!). I remember going to see the original "Clash of the Titans" on the big-screen in 1981 - my Mom was looking forward to seeing a film about Greek myths, and was shocked when the apparently kid-friendly movie featured bare-breasted women (TWICE!) - I, on the other hand, was 12 years old (going on 30) so I was enjoying that. I can't help but compare this film to the 1981 (non-)original, in all its cheese-tastic Harry Hamlin vs. stop-motion animated creatures glory. Linking from last night's film, Uma Thurman (who had a brief cameo as Medusa) was also in "The Avengers" with Ralph Fiennes (last seen in "The Hurt Locker"), who plays Hades tonight.
THE PLOT: The mortal son of the god Zeus embarks on a perilous journey to stop the underworld and its minions from spreading their evil to Earth as well as the heavens.
AFTER: Well, after my diatribe last night about all hero-quest films being the same, I think we can see now that my analysis was spot on. Tonight's film features a young man (Perseus) who discovers that he has powers (son of Zeus), who trains (for about 30 seconds), chooses some companions (including a weird-looking Djinn) and goes on a journey through the dark place (Underworld) to get the magical object (head of Medusa) and save the life of someone he cares about (Andromeda, the hot babe).
The bad news is, the result here is something of a jumbled mess - they managed to carry over all of the mythological mistakes from the 1981 film, and then make it even more confusing to boot. Bad Hollywood! When you remake a film, you're supposed to try to make it better, not worse! Plus they added a thumping soundtrack that closely resembles the song "Powerhouse", which is played in the old Warner Brothers cartoons every time they show a factory or a bunch of machines operating in a sinister manner.
Jeez, where do I start?
NITPICK POINT #1: A mistake also made in the 1981 film - Perseus did NOT ride Pegasus (or even A pegasus). Pegasus sprang from the severed head of Medusa - so it shouldn't even be in the first part of the film. Anyway, Bellerophon is the Greek hero most closely associated with Pegasus, which he rode to defeat the Chimera. Pegasus had the flying shoes of Hermes, which admittedly are a lot less cinematic than a flying horse.
NITPICK POINT #2: They also changed how Zeus sired Perseus - he supposedly came to Danae in a shower of gold, thus impregnating her. In this film, he took the form of her husband, king something-something who then killed her - but in the original myth it was Danae's father, King Acrisius, who had been told by an oraclet that Danae's son would kill him - so he threw them both into the ocean in a wooden chest.
NITPICK POINT #3: Zeus gives Perseus a magical sword - and in the original myth, he gives him a number of magical gifts to aid his quest. But here, Perseus is trying to take the gods down - so why would Zeus aid him in this? Is Zeus omnicient enough to see the double-cross down the road, and the time when he'll need Perseus' help?
NITPICK POINT #4: If Medusa lives in the Underworld, doesn't that mean she's already dead? How can Perseus kill her if she's dead?
NITPICK POINT #5: Hades lets evil into the world in the form of the Kraken - which is a giant sea monster (looking here like a cross between Gamera and that squid-thing from the "Watchmen" comic). But isn't that Poseidon's territory? Hades would release something from the Underworld, not the ocean. Anyway, the Kraken isn't even from Greek myth, it's a Scandinavian monster, so it's out of place in BOTH films.
NITPICK POINT #6: There is a germ of an idea here that suggests that the Gods need men as much as the other way around - Gods need to be worshipped, or they'll cease to exist. But if the Gods created men, that's an awful big flaw to allow into their workmanship. Why would Zeus create something that has the power to un-create him? Is he that short-sighted, or is he not as omnipotent as he claims?
There is some saving grace here, in terms of the effects. The 1981 version had stop-motion animation from the great Ray Harryhausen, but even at its finest, stop-motion can be a bit herky-jerky. The giant scorpions here are slick as can be, and so is the Kraken (what we see of it, anyway). The battle against Medusa is probably the best action sequence in the film - I just wish there was a better story to go along with it.
Also starring Sam Worthington (last seen in "Avatar"), Liam Neeson (last seen in "Rob Roy"), Gemma Arterton (last seen in "Pirate Radio"), Jason Flemyng (also last seen in "Rob Roy"), Liam Cunningham, Pete Postlethwaithe (last seen in "The Last of the Mohicans"), with cameos from Polly Walker (last seen in "Patriot Games", Alexander Siddig (last seen in "Reign of Fire"), Danny Huston (last seen in "The Aviator") and Jane March.
RATING: 5 out of 10 Furies
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