BEFORE: Forgot to mention we had another plumbing leak last night - as I came upstairs out of the man cave, I noticed water on the kitchen floor. Usually this means that a stray ice cube fell out of the refrigerator's dispenser, but this seemed like a lot of water. A hose under the sink (I think the one leading to the dishwasher) was spraying water and I started turning the shut-off valves, only to find out that they didn't work. I couldn't remember where the main shut-off was, so I had to wake up my wife and we had to find a 24 hour plumber. But, if not for the movie project, we might not have noticed the leak until the morning, and then things could have been a lot worse. Why do these things always happen at 3 am, and not on a Saturday afternoon? This is our third late-night pipe problem!
This time Jay Baruchel carries over from "How to Train Your Dragon", in a nice bit of scheduling serendipity. And in both films, he plays someone who's in training, so that's cool. And I'm catching up on films released in 2010 this week!
THE PLOT: Master sorcerer Balthazar Blake recruits a seemingly everyday guy in his mission to defend New York City from his arch-nemesis.
AFTER: Another early movie memory of mine is seeing the first "Fantasia" film with my mother when it was re-released in the 1970's. You may remember the sequence where Mickey Mouse magically commands a broom to sweep the floor for him, but accidentally unleashes a swarm of magical brooms, mops and buckets. This film spins off of that concept, and even contains a similar scene with out-of-control mops as a sort of homage.
Like last night's film, this is a magical thrill-ride, with dazzling effects that don't seem to let up. They're impressive to watch, but they also seem to cater to today's kids, who need a visual pop or the sound of an explosion every 30 seconds to keep them from checking their text messages. I wish that the filmmakers would put as much work into developing the story as they do into creating the visual effects.
Disney's programming seems to cater to the average teen/tween audience by showing regular people who discover they're really a sorcerer, or a princess, or a rock star (because that stuff happens all the time) - it's pure escapism, but it can also lead to regular kids being dis-satisfied with their average middle-class lifestyles. Watch the Disney Channel for a few hours (if you can stand it) and you'll see what I mean. (Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, Pair of Kings). Are we sending the right messages to our kids?
So again tonight I tried to look at the movie with the eyes of a child, I really did. But I was only moderately successful, because I've passed the point of believing that a wizard's going to come into my life and give me the power to shoot plasma bolts and bring statues to life. My fantasies are more about wishing I could live in a house where the plumbing all works properly, and make sense out of my 401K plan. Oh, and I wish I could get people everywhere to stop saying "basically" and "literally" so much - they're mostly using the words incorrectly anyway.
Also starring Nicolas Cage (last heard in "G-Force"), Alfred Molina (last seen in "Before and After"), Teresa Palmer, Omar Benson Miller (seen on "CSI: Miami"), with cameos from Monica Bellucci (last seen in "The Brothers Grimm") and Alice Krige (last seen in "Reign of Fire")
RATING 7 out of 10 tesla coils
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