BEFORE: I was able to squeeze in the "Stranger Things" finale yesterday afternoon, since I had nothing else going on. Who the hell releases horror-themed stuff on Christmas and New Year's? It's so out of season... Anyway they really dragged out this last season, especially the final two-hour episode which was full of flashbacks to previous seasons, so yeah, about half an hour of story stretched out to two hours, and they also screened it in theaters? Who the hell pays to see something on the big screen they can see at home on Netflix for, well, not FREE but for what you're already paying for the streaming subscription? It's madness, but hey, it's over and now I never need to watch that show again.
Jonathan Pryce carries over from "The Penguin Lessons" and I'm back on movies that were NOT made in Argentina. I'm posting late today because I had to go work at Barclay's on Kids Day as the Nets played the Denver Nuggets - and I had subway problems both going there AND coming home. On the way there, the G train was partially out for track work and I had to take a shuttle bus for the last four stops, so I figured I needed to come home a different way, so I took a train into Manhattan to get home, only to find that the L train was out because somebody was hit by a train in Brooklyn, and really there's no other way to get home from there, so I had to just sit on the platform for an hour and wait it out, adding an extra hour to my journey. Well, I've got the next two days off so I can stay up tonight and blog before getting to the next film.
THE PLOT: Four retirees spend their time solving cold case murders for fun, but their casual sleuthing takes a thrilling turn when they find themselves with a real whodunit on their hands.
AFTER: Since most network shows are still on hiatus, I may need to find another streaming show to binge this week, now that I'm done with "Stranger Things". Maybe "Ms. Marvel" or "Ironheart", I back-burnered those a while ago. But the streaming show that I would compare today's film to is "Only Murders in the Building", and I'm all caught up on that one. I know this movie is based on a book, but it reminds me of that Steve Martin/Martin Short show, where amateur sleuths work together to solve the murders around them, logically this film could then be called "Only Murders in the Retirement Home", only what do they call a retirement home in the U.K.? It seems they use the terms "care home" and "nursing home" (like we do) and it's not some weird word like "nappy" or "lorry" or "geezer flat".
I'm also reminded of last year's film "Queen Bees", where Ellen Burstyn's character moved into a nursing home and found that James Caan, Jane Curtin and Ann-Margret were all living there. Is that what happens around Los Angeles, are the old folks homes filled with actors who can't find work any more? It's often hard to tell what happens to the actors who can't find work any more, maybe if they saved their royalties they can stay in their homes, but as they grow older, they also may find they need more access to medical care, so, you know, I guess maybe there are nursing homes for some actors. You know, character actors and bit players. Look, I'm one to talk, I'm in my late 50's now so in 10 years I could easily be ready for some kind of assisted living. My parents are both 84 now, what am I going to do if I live that long? I can't move in with my kids because I don't have any.
Anyway, the Thursday Murder Club is a group of four people from diverse backgrounds who get together once a week and try to solve cold cases. There's a fifth member who used to be on the police force, but she's in the hospice wing and basically comatose. (Narratively, this could be important later.) We join the other three members as they induct a replacement, Joyce, a new resident who's a retired trauma nurse, and could give some needed insight to the injuries depicted in crime scene reports. The other members are Ron, a former union leader, Ibrahim, a retired psychiatrist, and Elizabeth, a former MI-6 agent, and yes, all of the skills from their former professions are important here. I like that, because the retired people (well, the ones without dementia, anyway) still remember their previous lives and everything they've learned over the years is still important and potentially relevant.
They're solving crimes and looking for some kind of new connection to the police force, at a time when the men who own the retirement home they live in apparently want to redevelop the property into luxury apartments, and they don't want to wait for all the old people to pass away first. So there's trouble brewing, and when one of the three owners is found murdered, it becomes very urgent that they help solve the crime, because that man's share of the property reverts to the other owners, and this could change the balance of power, assuming there was some disagreement between the owners over the future of the care home. The easiest thing to do would be to assume that one co-owner killed the one who wanted to block the sale, but can the Thursday Murder Club prove it?
The Club befriends Donna, a local constable who was sent to the care home to deliver a lecture on home security, and they turn her into their "woman on the inside" to get details of the crime scene that they can pore over. But then during a protest against the re-development, a second co-owner of the property also dies suddenly, making every single elderly resident, including the members of the club, into suspects. Ron's son Jason, a boxing champion, has also been known to have done some odd jobs for the building's mysterious owner, who happens to be a known criminal that essentially disappeared years ago. It's easy enough to assume that both murders are connected, but are they? Or should the Murder Club be investigating them separately? And how much can the Club learn from the police and the care home handymen, just by giving them cakes? God, this would be adorable if it weren't all so murdery and such.
Things manage to get more confusing before they get sorted out. Why is there a body buried in the cemetery on top of someone else's coffin? Why do the building owners take the passports away from the immigrants who work for them? And who keeps sending out threatening notes to the Murder Club, along with bouquets of flowers? And can Elizabeth's husband both crack the case AND also remember that he cracked the case?
I'm sorry that I wasn't able to schedule this film on a Thursday - it's the luck of the draw, but I hope to make up for that this coming Friday. Now, can we get cracking on a sequel to this film before everyone involved gets too old?
Directed by Chris Columbus (director of "The Christmas Chronicles: Part Two" and "Rent")
Also starring Helen Mirren (last heard in "Barbie"), Pierce Brosnan (last seen in "Tom Hanks: The Nomad"), Ben Kingsley (last seen in "Music by John Williams"), Celia Imrie (last seen in "Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie"), Naomi Ackie (last seen in "Blink Twice"), Daniel Mays (last heard in "Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget"), Henry Lloyd-Hughes (last seen in "Man Up"), Tom Ellis (last seen in "Players"), David Tennant (last seen in "Einstein and Eddington"), Geoff Bell (last seen in "The Rhythm Section"), Paul Freeman (last seen in "The Long Good Friday"), Richard E. Grant (last seen in "Death of a Unicorn"), Ingrid Oliver (last seen in "Last Christmas"), Joseph Marcell (last seen in "Cry Freedom"), Martin Bishop (last seen in "The Hustle"), Ruth Sheen (last seen in "A Royal Night Out"), Susan Kirby, Shane David-Joseph, David Garlick, Gary Bates, Will Stevens, Russell Barnett, Nic Lamont, Everly Klann, Jarreau Antoine, Vanessa Bauer, Richenda Carey (last seen in "The Protégé"), Stan Pretty, David Burton, Sonia Elliman, Rashford Angus, Anah Ruddin, Jacqueline Clarke, Imogen Leaver, and the voice of Darren Richardson (last seen in "Velvet Buzzsaw").
RATING: 7 out of 10 people in water aerobics class
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