BEFORE: OK, another weekend (not that I can really tell the difference these days, because I work on an irregular schedule) and we're getting very, very close to the start of February and the romance chain. So after tomorrow the next time I can be on "regular" (as in non-romance) films will be sometime right after St. Patrick's Day. It's going to be a cold, cold winter, it seems, but I've got love to keep me warm. Bleargh.
Jesse Eisenberg carries over from "The Double".
THE PLOT: After being attacked on the street, a young man enlists at a local dojo, led by a charismatic and mysterious sensei, in an effort to learn how to defend himself from future threats.
AFTER: I don't know anything about karate, outside of "The Karate Kid", anyway, or any martial arts, really - it's just not my thing. I have to imagine, however, that most martial arts dojos aren't run in the manner depicted here, however there are a lot of places that one can find "big boss energy", or BDE, like the sensei shows here. I've had a few bosses like this, and I just found out one of my old bosses (who was very nice to me) is now being seen by some employees as more tyrannical than I remember. Umm, yeah, sure, it's lonely at the top and you have to pay the cost to be the boss, and if you don't run your dojo (or studio) then it's going to run you. But all that is still no excuse for not being nice to people and not treating your employees (or students, or followers, or whatever) with respect and decency. I shouldn't have to say this, yet it's where we find ourselves. You can be a leader without being a total dick - or I don't know, maybe not, which is why I'm not running anything right about now. I'm selling beer to sports fans and I'm managing screenings, I just want to be helpful and nice without copping an attitude.
Jesse Eisenberg plays Casey, a nice-enough but insecure mensch who can't seem to stand up for himself (OK, so clearly he had a "type", because this is almost exactly the same type of character he played in "The Double") and he has trouble being social with co-workers, and he has trouble standing up to his boss, and pretty much he just lets people walk all over him. Something changes, however, when he's assaulted in broad daylight by a bunch of motorcycle riders wearing all black, they tackle him and beat him up, all while he was on a run to get dog food. After that he's afraid to leave his apartment for a while, and his poor dog gets very hungry and his boss wants to know if he's ever going to come back to work. NOTE: This film was made pre-pandemic, before half of everybody insisted on being able to work remotely so they wouldn't die from COVID.
Finally he takes a stand and checks out a self-defense class - it's all a little unusual to him, even seems a bit cult-like, having to follow a new set of rules for interacting with people (the late-night all-male "cool down" sessions seem like a lot, for example) but he's on the path to gaining some self-confidence back, figuring out this whole colored-belt coding system and navigating the difference between the day class and the night class, and trying to memorize the 10 or 11 Rules that are posted on the wall. No sneakers on the mat, no eating in the dojo, etc. It maybe seems significant that people who disagree with Sensei either get banned from class or crippled in one-on-one combat. Sensei might be wise in martial arts, but he's got a terrible business plan, since crippled people can't continue with their karate lessons.
Eventually, a new Casey emerges, one who is more confident and sure of himself, although he doesn't appreciate some of Sensei's advice, like to stop listening to soft rock and start listening to heavy metal. Or to ditch his tiny dachshund in favor of a more manly, "non-gay" dog. Sensei also likes to micro-manage, but admits that he's got no head for accounting, so when Casey gets fired after standing up to his boss (relatable) he puts him to work straightening out the financials at the dojo. Well, somebody's got to get those W-2 forms filed properly. Going through the ledgers, Casey learns that people who've been kicked out of class are still paying monthly fees, they all either neglected to cancel their memberships or they were afraid to. It's probably fine.
Actually, this whole film comes from a familiar place, we've seen it many many times here at the Movie Year - a guy does something simple, like enrolls in karate class, and now some screenwriter posits, "What could POSSIBLY go wrong?" and so it does. Sensei's not just a dick, he's also criminally insane. He tells Casey that he's found the guy who beat him up a few months ago, and what bar he'll be at on Friday night - expecting Casey to join him in giving the guy a little payback. But it's all bogus, because shortly after that, he asks Casey to join him on a jaunt around town on motorcycles, wearing all black, looking for people to beat up. Wait a minute, that all feels a little familiar. You don't suppose - is this Sensei's way of drumming up business for his karate class, terrorizing the town to make people realize they need to take self-defense classes?
Casey slowly realizes that Sensei is completely out of control - and the breaking point comes, just like in "John Wick", when the bad guy messes with his dog. You shouldn't have done that, because nobody loves anything more than their dog. Casey's now got to take down Sensei, no matter what lengths he has to go to. Here you might think, hey, why not just tell the police department who's been driving around town on motorcycles and beating people up, in a crazy scheme to get more people to enroll in karate class? And that would be a very good question, but it's not where the film chooses to go. After all, Sensei has video-tape of Casey beating up the man who he thought beat him up in the first place, so he's ready to blackmail Casey as being complicit in the scheme, if it comes to that.
Things get worse before they get better, and the bodies keep piling up, but it seems this takes place in a city where the cops never figure out that all of the missing people in town were all enrolled at the same dojo. Nor do they ever crack the case of the motorcycle terrorists, so I don't know, maybe this police department got de-funded or something, or you know, detective work is hard and they just didn't want to be bothered? I mean, they get paid either way, right? Still, it's not a good look.
I didn't really take this to be a comedy, but Wikipedia swears that it is one, just a black comedy (not the Wayans brothers kind, the dark humor kind). The only part I found even remotely funny was when Casey had colored belts made for everyone in the dojo and everyone was surprised that in addition to symbolizing their progress in karate, belts can also function to hold your pants up. Wow, that's some breakthrough thinking, were you guys all just raised in suspender-based families or what?
Directed by Riley Stearns
Also starring Alessandro Nivola (last seen in "Kraven the Hunter"), Imogen Poots (last seen in "That Awkward Moment"), Steve Terada (last seen in "Think Like a Man Too"), David Zellner (last seen in "Person to Person"), Phillip Andre Botello (last seen in "Funny People"), Jason Burkey (last seen in "They Cloned Tyrone"), Mike Brooks, C.J. Rush (last seen in "My Friend Dahmer"), Nicholas Hulstine (ditto), Davey Johnson, Hauke Bahr, Katherine Martin, Cameron Murphy, Lena Friedrich (last seen in "Inglourious Basterds"), Louis Robert Thompson (last seen in "Mom and Dad"), Dallas Edwards (last seen in "Masterminds"), Katherine Smith-Rodden, Frederic Spitz, Alex Haydon (last seen in "The Bikeriders"), Mark Sawyer-Dailey, Josh Fadem, Scott Goodman, Justin Eaton and the voice of Caroline Amiguet, with a cameo from Leland Orser (last seen in "Runaway Jury")
RATING: 5 out of 10 yellow items purchased at the grocery store
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