BEFORE: I could have sworn this was going to be MLK Day, but I guess I'm off by a week. Oh, well, I didn't have anything specially programmed for that day, so it doesn't matter if it's today or next Monday, when I won't have anything special programmed for it either.
Dave Bautista carries over from "The Last Showgirl". I could have gone straight to "The Naked Gun" via Pamela Anderson, but I can squeeze in one more here before that. I have to fill up the month, after all, and there are 31 days.
FOLLOW-UP TO: "My Spy" (Movie #4,030)
THE PLOT: JJ, a veteran CIA agent, reunites with his protégé, Sophie, in order to prevent a catastrophic nuclear scheme threatening Vatican City, which disrupts her high school choir's trip to Italy.
AFTER: Essentially this is a "buddy cop" movie, even though it's about spies, and you know how these "buddy cop" films work, the greater the differences between the two cops, the funnier they think it's going to be - so while one "cop" is a big adult who works out and takes things way too seriously, the other "cop" is a small high-school girl who doesn't take things seriously enough. And then they've got to get the tone just right, it can't be all goofy like a "Naked Gun" movie, but it can't be all serious like a Jason Bourne movie either, because a comedy will seem a lot more accessible, so it's a fine line that the film has to walk. The main character has to be somewhat smart, you know, because he's an intelligence expert, but he has to be a bit dumb too, because that's supposedly funny and if he doesn't screw up once in a while, then the plot doesn't move forward because he would think of everything put out all the fires before they start. The director of this film also directed "Naked Gun 33 1/3" and the "Get Smart" movie, so it might have been hard for him to hold back and not fall into outright slapstick comedy.
But you also know what happens when a movie tries to be all things to all people, it's a comedy, it's an action film, there's a bit of romance along with the danger, and something can't be both a floor wax and a dessert topping without failing at both, if you know what I mean. Can we find the comedy in gun battles, stabbings and defusing nuclear bombs before they explode? That's all supposed to be some "Mission: Impossible" stuff, and I don't remember laughing a lot during those Tom Cruise movies. Just saying.
It's only been four years since the release of "My Spy", so they probably went RIGHT into making a sequel when they knew they had a hit on their hands - sure, let's turn it into a franchise before this kid gets too old. She's a teenager now and JJ is officially her step-father, so I guess that relationship with Kate worked out, but she's written out of the story here because she's doing charity work in Africa, also she's played by a different actress now, and the less we see her, the less likely we are to notice that. Sophie is thinking about boys for the first time, and she asks her geeky best friend how to ask out the other guy - yeah, we know where that's going to end up, but let's not get ahead of things, don't worry, they'll catch up and figure it out. Thank God Sophie doesn't have to spend any time in class, being a high-schooler and all, otherwise how would she have time for spy training and choir?
That geeky best friend, Colin, happens to be the son of JJ's boss at the CIA, and they just HAPPEN to go to the same school, I guess it's the one where all the CIA kids go - because THAT'S safe - and coincidentally they're both in choir and coincidentally the choir gets to go sing at the Vatican, and super-coincidentally that's also the site of the G7 conference and it's where the terrorists are most likely to strike. So JJ has to become a coincidental chaperone for both his stepdaughter AND his boss's son, only his boss's son has NO IDEA that his dad works for the CIA, so he doesn't know why he's being kidnapped by the bad guys.
Anyway, it's a chance to get the comedy band back together again, most of the supporting cast from the first film is here again, and there's satellite trackers and weird neuro-toxins and plenty of car chases, one involving the old Pope-mobile with the bullet-proof glass and all of that leads me to a few NITPICK POINTS that will probably unravel the likeliness of everything very quickly:
NITPICK POINT: When they store vehicles in a museum (I've been to Graceland and I saw every car Elvis ever owned) those vehicles are NOT functional, for safety reasons. They 100% for sure would not have gas and oil in them, for starters, that's a hazard if you're going to have museum guests walking around them.
NITPICK POINT 2: Assuming that there is a mobile device that could disable the nuclear bomb, that device would most likely have a limited range, and if you get it that far away from the bomb, I"m guessing it would be quite useless. Also if that device should say, fall into a river and get wet, it would probably short out and also become quite useless. But OF COURSE we need to have a ticking countdown on a bomb, and it needs to stop a few seconds shy of zero, so I get it. But we've seen this way too many times in movies. Also, the bomb expert doesn't know which wire to cut to achieve the same dramatic effect?
NITPICK POINT 3: If you're CIA, they just let you into any military base, anywhere in the world, even one controlled by another foreign government. Unlikely, they might let in Interpol but the CIA doesn't have that much of a reach.
NITPICK POINT 4: Would they schedule the G7 conference to take place at the Vatican? Seems like way too many world leaders in one place at one time, in front of a capacity crowd, with very limited security. I would think that the G7 would be held in private, it's not a public event, and security would be the tightest possible, coordinated by the country where the conference is being held, and the CIA would have no influence or access.
NITPICK POINT 5: There was something about 100 Soviet nuclear bombs that disappeared years ago, but have suddenly re-surfaced? That's not really something that the CIA would have back-burnered, if there are 100 bombs missing in the world, it sounds like you should really focus on that project until you get some kind of a result. We only see ONE of them during this movie, so you'd best get to work, that means there are still 99 of them out there? Will we be looking for them in "My Spy 3: From Russia with Like Like"?
I'm sure there's more but that's what leaps to my mind first - they'll probably try to squeeze out another sequel before the teenage actress stops being a teenager.
Directed by Peter Segal (director of "Second Act" and "My Spy")
Also starring Chloe Coleman (last seen in "Pain Hustlers"), Kristen Schaal (last seen in "When in Rome"), Ken Jeong (last seen in "The DUFF"), Anna Faris (last seen in "Take Me Home Tonight"), Flula Borg (last seen in "The Suicide Squad"), Taeho K, Billy Barratt (last seen in "Kraven the Hunter"), Craig Robinson (last seen in "An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn"), Tamer Burjaq (last seen in "Bloodshot"), Paul du Toit, Kyra Janse van Rensburg, Peter Butler (last seen in "The Kissing Booth 3"), Arin Goncalves, Nicola Correia-Damude (last seen in "My Spy"), Devere Rogers (ditto), Noah Dalton Danby (last seen in "Loser"), Richard Wright-Firth, Dylan Viljoen, Lara Babalola, Michal Kostrzewski, Mo Mjamba, Gabe Gabriel (last seen in "The Dark Tower"), Adam Neill (last seen in "Breathe"), Barbara Abbondanza, Peter Segal.
RATING: 5 out of 10 wrestling moves that got worked into the fight scenes
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