Balls Out

Year 17, Day 269 - 9/26/25 - Movie #5,152

BEFORE: Wait, two football films in one week? How does that happen? Really, without me even trying very hard, that's the answer. I've got an all-day animation conference event to work today, so this post will also likely appear very late, but then I've got the weekend to myself, I can relax a bit, except for an e-cycling event that we're supposed to bring our old electronics too tomorrow. So no, I won't get to sleep in, not until Sunday. 

Jay Pharoah carries over from "Get a Job". 

FOLLOW-UP TO: "The Turkey Bowl" (Movie #4,289)

THE PLOT: With marriage, graduation and the real world looming on the horizon, fifth-year senior Caleb Fuller reassembles the old team of misfits for one last epic run in intramural football.

AFTER: I guess this is supposed to be a parody of every sports movie ever, such as "Varsity Blues" and "Friday Night Lights" and "Bad News Bears", all thrown together. But don't we have "Dodgeball" for that, do we need a similar film about college flag football? I'm guessing we don't. It's self-reflexive, which is usually good, like the way that "Not Another Teen Movie" used all the tropes of high-school romance films while also poking fun at them. But now I'm wondering if you really can do both things, can you use all the stereotypical plot points AND make fun of them at the same time, by having the characters be aware that they are characters in a sports movie, kind of like in a "Deadpool" way? Nah, it just doesn't really work, cute idea though. 

This is a Kickstarter-funded film, so if you backed it and you don't like it, you only have yourself to blame. Maybe you should have pledged more. There's very little to work with in the IMDB "Trivia" section, and even less in the "goofs" section - I guess because if nothing in your movie is meant to be taken seriously, it's kind of impossible to make a mistake? Good to know.  

Anyway, you've seen this film before, even if you haven't seen this film before, because it uses every little piece of every sports film that you HAVE seen, from the last-minute come-from-behind victory against a perceived unbeatable opponent, to the jock falling for the sister of his biggest rival before he realizes the connection, and the coach who dies in an accident but whose death reinforces the bond between the sportsball players and drives them to keep on trying harder. 

But then there are some things that are very unusual, like you may notice the lack of fans in the stadium. Well, OK, either nobody is interested in watching flag football (relatable) or they just couldn't afford to pay extras to sit in the stands. Then there are the play-by-play announcers, who are just the only two guys sitting nearby, they're not sports experts and they're not being paid for their commentary, they're just another two burnouts who happen to go to this college - at least, I hope they do. 

Caleb learns valuable lessons, of course, about how the passion for sports forms a bond between teammates that will last a whole semester, then cool down for four years until everyone realizes that they're about to graduate and they forgot to keep playing sports, so I don't know, maybe let's try to get back into it? It's not glee club, guys, it's your sport and that means it's your life, right after your major, I guess. Caleb also learns that if you fall backwards into getting engaged to someone JUST because her father runs a law firm and promises to hire you after college, well maybe that's not the best foundation for a relationship. Hey, sure, I get it, Meredith is much more fun and not all uptight and weird and she doesn't mind that you still play flag football so I see the appeal, but you may want to tell your fiancee that you have feelings for someone else. 

But none of this is real and so therefore nothing matters and it's all a big parody goof so what's the harm? OK, but then neither does it make any insightful points about life or sports or relationships, it just goes around in circles for a while, killing time until the big final game of the season, which is bound to be a last-minute come-from-behind victory against a perceived unbeatable opponent.

Directed by Andrew Disney

Also starring Jake Lacy (last seen in "Miss Sloane"), Nikki Reed (last seen in "Empire State"), Kate McKinnon (last seen in "Martha"), Beck Bennett (last seen in "Superman" (2025)), Nick Kocher (last seen in "The Bubble"), Brian McElhaney (last seen in "Young Adult"), Gabriel Luna (last seen in "Terminator: Dark Fate"), Will Elliott, Kirk C. Johnson, Sam Eidson, Nicholas Rutherford, D.C. Pierson (last seen in "The To Do List"), Michael Hogan (last seen in "The Cutting Edge"), Clint Howard (last seen in "Rock 'n' Roll High School"), Matthew Broussard (last seen in "All I Wish"), Henry J. Smith III, Donnie Amadi, John Merriman, Lauren Knutti (last seen in "Results"), Matt Beckham, Billy Blair (last seen in "The Last Stand"), Byron Brown, Thomas Fenoglio, Russell Wayne Groves, Gregory Kelly (last seen in "The Devil All the Time"), Jared Knight, Tom McTigue (last seen in "Boyhood"), Joe Self, Aaron Spivey-Sorrells (last seen in "Joe"), Liz Waters, Mark Connelly Wilson, Taylor Hunt Wright

RATING: 4 out of 10 bridal shower gifts