BEFORE: Gloria Steinem carries over again from "Dear Ms.: A Revolution in Print". I'm doubling up on Sunday movies so I can send a birthday SHOUT-out to Martha Stewart herself, born on 8/3/1941. Then I'll skip Monday and be back on schedule by Tuesday.
Speaking of scheduling, I saw Halloween decorations for the first time last weekend out on Long Island, so that's an indication that October is coming up real soon. I have to make a decision between two good horror movie chains - really, either one will work, and there's even a bit of overlap in the middle, so I could switch between them if I needed to. But no, indecision is the chain killer, so really I just have to PICK ONE and then see if I can link to it from the end of the Doc Block - which is in just FIVE days so I really need to make up my mind. OK, I'm going with the one with the most variation, it gets a lot of films off my horror list that have been there for some time - and as a bonus, I think I can work both "Kraven the Hunter" and the "Fantastic Four" movie into that mix. So that's how I want things to go.
Next step, block out the number of slots - I've got 100 slots left this year, and it looks like I'll need 25 of them for the horror chain (maybe 24, but let's err on the side of caution). Let's say I watch another 25 movies in August, that's 50, half of what's left. Roughly I can estimate 30 films for September (30 days has September, yeah that tracks), 10 each for November and December, that would work, it totals 100. Now comes the harder bit, linking to October 1.
I just went on a linking tear, and I only got enough to get me to the end of August - that's OK for now, it should hold me for two or three weeks, then when I get closer to Sept. 1 I'll try to link to the start of the horror chain - with 30 slots max for September, I should be able to link from anything to anything - plus I stopped my chain when I got to "Nickel Boys", there are a bunch of actors in that film that are all over my list, so again, there's just got to be a chain of 25 to 30 films that will get me from "Nickel Boys" to the first horror film - I just can't see it yet. Anyway, here are the (tentative) fresh links for the rest of August: Dan Rather, Mark Cuban, Robert Wagner, Henry Mancini, Ke Huy Quan, Alan Tudyk, David Corenswet, Glen Powell, Gralen Bryant Banks, Benito Martinez, Josh Brener, James Logan, Malik Yoba, Kim Dickens, Warren Christie, Andrew Airlie, Chris Gauthier, Holt McCallany, Michael Papajohn and Lucy Faust. You can probably tell that "Superman" is in that mix somehere, so is that film about the first SNL broadcast, and at least 2 time travel movies. That should be enough to keep me interested - and in about 3 weeks I'll try once again to close that gap - and if I can do it in less than 30 steps, then I'll just roll any extra slots over to November/December - I just never know how hard it's going to be to get from Halloween to Christmas.
THE PLOT: Covers the breadth of her extraordinary life through intimate interviews with Stewart herself, who opened up her personal archives to share never-before-seen photos, letters and diary entries.
AFTER: Just a few days ago, I watched as Paul Reubens had some misgivings about opening up about his life for a documentary shoot, the interview questions got a little too personal for him, a man who'd spent most of his time in show biz keeping his personal life hidden. The same sort of thing happened with this film, for different reasons though. Martha Stewart had this reputation as a self-made billionaire (for a while, anyway) and letting anyone see that vulnerable side, the part of her that could get hurt when a relationship fails, that would run counter to her image. Hey, it's OK to have feelings and emotions, we've all been there when our lives fall apart or we burn them down and we have to pick up the pieces and start again. But once the interviewer here got too deep into her personal life, she stopped answering questions - she says, "Well, you have my letters, get what you need from that." So they did.
But the situation was such that her relationship hypocrisy was pointed out, she's still pissed that her first husband cheated on her, and she doesn't want to confront the fact that she also cheated on him. Hey, it sounds like maybe they had more in common than they both realized - or it was just that the relationship had petered out and they were both just going through the same motions, which can make anyone vulnerable to infidelity. But by Martha's arcane rules, her cheating was OK because her husband didn't know about it. That's a bit odd - but then when it's pointed out that yes, he did no about it, her cheating is now OK because "it meant nothing". Well, how are we supposed to confirm that, and by whose standard is this nothingness measured? It's all a bit convenient, really, almost Trumpian in nature, namely deny everything and admit nothing, then attack, attack, attack. Or if you can't do that, then distract, distract, distract.
Sure, her husband's infidelity might have been particuarly jarring because he cheated with a friend of Martha's, someone she allowed to stay in the guest house on their property while she worked through a break-up or some other personal issues. Then Martha went back to work on her magazines or her TV show, or on some trip, and she now says it was like she put out "a snack" for her husband. Well, maybe don't put out a snack if you don't want people to eat it, just saying. A man (or woman) is sometimes only as faithful as their options allow them to be. Plus, I think it's been a few decades, maybe just chalk it up to experience, and, I don't know, move on? Or look at the big picture, nobody really gets through their life these days without going through something like this a couple times, or a couple dozen times. It's how we react and rebuild that defines us - and really, what do you expect after the Decade of Free Love and then the Me Decade, you're going to end up with a lot of people having random sex because they're only thinking of their own pleasure. Also, forgiveness is a bit like money, you've got to spend some to get some. I don't think I could cheat because I'd be struck deep down with a feeling that my wife might be doing the exact same thing at the same time - plus, you know, I love her and stuff.
Driven by revenge (mixed with ambition, let's say) Martha goes on to double down on her lifestyle brand and becomes maybe the first concrete example of an influencer - people were buying her cookbooks and then her magazines and then anything with her name on it - yes, even the stuff sold at K-Mart - so they could pretend to be sophisticated like her, perfectly perfect like her. Nobody really stopped to think that her perfect life with her perfect kitchen and her perfect garden might all just be a carefully cultivated image, and maybe things weren't so perfect at home after all. Who cares, as long as the Thanksgiving turkey is delicious and also wrapped in puff pastry for some reason?
Former model, former stockbroker, former home renovator, former gardener, and then former caterer, you put all those things together, like Frankenstein-style, and that's how you build a Martha Stewart. It's kind of how I ended up doing what I'm doing (only for a LOT less money), because I had experience working in a movie theater, experience at managing events, and experience working as part of a team on film shoots. I use a little bit from each job, and now that I'm looking for a second gig, I'm looking for something similar, maybe at a film festival, that would be right up my alley. Still looking, but Martha didn't quit, she just kept re-inventing herself, just like Paul Reubens and Barbara Walters. Onward and upward, hopefully, until you're too old to walk around.
There's way too much attention here spent on Martha's insider trading scandal and her trial, which led to five months of incarceration. Really, it wasn't just the selling of a stock right before her broker told her that it was going to tank due to an FDA ruling, but also she faced counts of obstruction of justice, and making false statements about her actions - so it's bad to do it, but it's even worse to do it and then not admit it. OK, point taken. As a result, though, she lost her job as CEO of her own company, her seat on the Revlon board and her seat at the stock exchange. Well, as long as she's not still bitter about it - oh, wait, of course she is. I did enjoy the stories (told here in animated form) of Martha helping a fellow inmate with her garden, and also holding meetings with other inmates to give them career advice. I'm not sure how many of those inmates went on to become CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, though.
When she got out she went on the comeback tour, with a new daytime television show and also a spin-off of "The Apprentice" (non-Trump edition), both produced by "Survivor's" Mark Burnett. The daytime show was seen as too campy, too goofy talk-show like, and so neither show lasted all that long. But just like Trump, she started merchandising everything like crazy, from wines to housewares to floor coverings. Then suddenly she was everywhere on TV again, from "Ugly Betty" to "Law & Order: SVU" to the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Beiber, where people found her shockingly funny, or funnily shocking. (Umm, you know somebody else WROTE those jokes for her, right?)
Somehow this led to her becoming friends with Snoop Dogg, and they were inseparable for a while, they were in commercials together and hosted the Puppy Bowl together one year, and yep, she came out with a line of CBD gummies at one point, too. Then in 2023 she was the cover model for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition - wait, what? I guess she represented the graying of America, I mean, sure, she looks good for her age, but let's not get crazy, she was 81 years old! Now she's hosting a new cooking competition on NBC called "Yes, Chef!" so I guess the comeback is complete? Nah, it ain't over till it's over.
Directed by R.J. Cutler (director of "Elton John: Never Too Late" & "Belushi")
Also starring Martha Stewart (last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything")
and the voices of Jed Alexander, Lloyd Allen, Verda Appleton, Rita Christiansen, Simon Crittle, John Cuti, Kathryn Evans, Caitlin Flanagan, Sister Carol Gilbert, Allen Grubman, Elizabeth Hawes, Meg James, David Kelley, Frank Kostyra, Jonas Larsen, Memrie Lewis, Susan Magrino, Alan Mirken, Andy Monness, Isolde Motley, Pattie Sellers, Kevin Sharkey, Sophie Slater, Susan Spry, Kathy Tatlock, Gael Towey,
with archive footage of Dan Abrams, Danny Aiello (last seen in "2 Days in the Valley"), Maria Bartiromo (last seen in "Inside Job"), Tom Brokaw (ditto), Justin Bieber (last heard in "Killing Hasselhoff"), Lewis Black (last heard in "Inside Out 2"), Mark Burnett, Charo (last seen in "Pee-Wee as Himself"), Jay Leno (ditto), Conan O'Brien (ditto), Dan Rather (ditto), Robin Williams (ditto), Julia Child (last seen in "Wolfgang"), Jane Clayson, Hillary Clinton (last seen in "Barbara Walters: Tell Me Everything"), Katie Couric (ditto), Whoopi Goldberg (ditto), Kris Jenner (ditto), Khloe Kardashian (ditto), Billie Jean King (ditto), David Letterman (ditto), Paul Newman (ditto), Bill O'Reilly (ditto), Barbara Walters (ditto), Oprah Winfrey (ditto), James Comey (last heard in "MLK/FBI"), Joan Crawford (last seen in "Faye"), Jane Fonda (ditto), Pete Davidson (last seen in "Dumb Money"), Chris D'Elia (last seen in "Celeste & Jesse Forever"), Andy Dick (last seen in "Loser"), Jimmy Fallon (last seen in "Yacht Rock: A Dockumentary"), Jamie Foxx (last seen in "Luther: Never Too Much"), Bryant Gumbel (ditto), Snoop Dogg (ditto), Usher (ditto), Bill Gates (last seen in "Join or Die"), Merv Griffin (last seen in "My Mom Jayne"), Melanie Griffith (last seen in "Tom Hanks: The Nomad"), Kevin Hart (last seen in "Paper Soldiers"), Peter Jennings (last seen in "Stevie Van Zandt: Disciple"), Brian Williams (ditto), Julie Kavner (last heard in "A Walk on the Moon"), Steve Kroft (last seen in "Mike Wallace Is Here"), John Legend (last seen in "If These Walls Could Sing"), Natasha Leggero (last seen in "Old Dads"), Ludacris (last seen in "End of the Road"), Tyler Mathisen, Kate McKinnon (last seen in "Nyad"), Seth Meyers (last seen in "Will & Harper"), Bret Michaels, Shaquille O'Neal (last seen in "Jack and Jill"), Mariana Pasternak, Princess Diana (last seen in "Liza: A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story"), Bill Ritter, Charlie Rose (last seen in "Outstanding: A Comedy Revolution"), Jeffrey Ross (last seen in "The Wedding Ringer"), Morley Safer (last seen in "Jim Henson: Idea Man"), Tom Selleck (last seen in "I Am Burt Reynolds"), Charles Simonyi, Alexis Stewart, Andrew Stewart, Chrissy Teigen (last heard in "The Mitchells vs. the Machines"), Jeffrey Toobin, Samuel D. Waksal
RATING: 5 out of 10 plum puddings (home-made, of course)
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