BEFORE: Martin Starr carries over from "I'll See You in My Dreams" - and you might notice that Lucy Punch is appearing for the third time this February, yet none of her movies are linked together - what's happening there? Well, remember that I had to drop one film, "How to Build a Girl" - today's film was originally going to be watched last week, and Lucy Punch was going to be used as a connector, but then things changed, and this one had to be re-scheduled. The easiest thing was to slot it in between two other films with Martin Starr.
In a couple weeks, though, there will be a film with Jason Sudeikis (who appears tonight), Jenna Fischer (from "The Giant Mechanical Man") and Richard Jenkins (from "Happythankyoumoreplease") - what's going on there? Why doesn't that film connect to any of the others, how does that make sense? Well, first of all, that film is fulfilling an important function in March, it's connecting two other films, via two other links, and if that film weren't THERE instead of HERE, then there would be a gap. Besides, that way madness lies - once i've got the linking the way I want it, I have to stop second-guessing myself, or else I'd be constantly tearing the schedule apart and putting it back together again, and nobody wants that, least of all me.
So the schedule is FINE, there are always going to be connections that I don't make or follow-up on, I just have to acknowledge them and stop trying to make things "better". I'm on track to hit St. Patrick's Day and Easter films right on the button, so I'm going to just enjoy that and try to keep the schedule just the way it is. I should devote my energy instead to figuring out what comes after Easter, and also patrolling the streaming services for new films to add to my list.
THE PLOT: A group of 30-year-olds who have been friends since high school attempt to throw and end-of-summer orgy.
AFTER: Look, I'll be honest, I wasn't sure if this one qualified as a "romance" film, given the subject matter - where does romance even fit in during an orgy, if that in fact is what takes place here? The truth is, this film has been clogging up my DVR for over a year, and I stashed it here in February to get rid of it. But some love and romance does enter in to the plot here, one character finds a shot at a real relationship just weeks before the planned bacchanalia, and thus he's conflicted about his participation. A recently-married couple who are friends with the planners gets upset that they were NOT invited to the orgy - point of order, the planners were trying to keep things not complicated, and they figured a married couple might not want to participate, and if they did, jealousy and infidelity would enter into the picture. And then there are a couple characters who find love BECAUSE of the orgy, and that's a whole other level of complication. (If things work out and they have children, what will they tell those kids about how Mommy and Daddy met?)
It's a whole different world out in the Hamptons, or so I hear, and this is where all those wealthy Manhattanites that you love to hate ride out to on the Jitney EVERY weekend to have those killer parties at their summer homes. For the rest of us, we just like how not crowded the city is during the summer, how you can maybe get a table at a nice restaurant or tickets to that concert at Jones Beach, because everyone who could get out to the Hamptons is there. This was all pre-pandemic, of course, and it's possible that some of those rich New Yorkers have been hiding out all winter at the summer house because it's bigger and they can tele-commute to their marketing jobs, and maybe they don't even need the Manhattan apartment any more, the rent's ridiculously high anyway. Well, good riddance, enjoy being snowed in near a useless beach and getting your groceries delivered by Amazon. Probably Blue Apron, though, or one of those Keto Diet meal services, because they can afford it.
But speaking of the pandemic, the whole concept of the orgy is pre-pandemic, because you're only supposed to interact with people inside your bubble, and if you weren't sexually active with that person (or those people) before, fat chance of that happening now. There have been reports, though, of underground orgies taking place, in direct violation of social distancing rules, and a few have led to arrests and prosecution. Really, is that what you want to be arrested for, do you want THAT on your permanent record, that you went to a sex club or a swingers party and you didn't wear a mask? Jeez, if you're that horny just watch some porn and take matters into your own hands. But I guess for some people there's nothing like human interaction, even if it goes against good sense, anti-pandemic practices and also local decency laws. Forget the Super Bowl parties, and orgy is really the ultimate super-spreader event (in more ways than one, if you get my meaning...)
But tonight we're looking back at the heady, careless days of 2011, the time of the Japanese Earthquake, the end of the Iraq War, and Charlie Sheen's meltdown. Obama was President, all things were still possible, and Lady Gaga had just released "Born This Way". Somehow all of that justifies a group of friends planning an orgy, I guess. Eric is the group leader, and he's known for his outrageously-themed Hampton parties, like the "White Trash Bash" on July 4 weekend. But in the aftermath, Eric's father arrives on scene to announce that he's selling the Hamptons house - makes sense, the property values were still going up then. But that means an end to the parties for Eric and his entitled friends - where will they drink now, and eat bean dip out of a toilet centerpiece?
The excuse that this group of friends finally lands on, their reason why they DESERVE an orgy, is that they grew up during the age of AIDS, to young to be a part of the generation of "free love" and too old to be part of the New Millennials, gen Y or Z or whatever letter they're on now, who supposedly have this bracelet-based subculture where charms of certain cultures can be exchanged for various sex acts, also girls are empowered now, only those two systems seem to be somewhat in conflict with each other. I'd really check it out on Snopes.com before you go propositioning a teen based on the color of her bracelet. Really, if you want to have an orgy, just have a damn orgy, why all the neurotic navel-gazing and attempts at justifying it, just to make sure that I still like these characters? Sorry, that ship already sailed, I pretty much already hate them just because of their jobs and their party lifestyle - did they all forget to grow up or something?
Even after Eric realizes that he could have something positive and long-lasting with Kelly, he still goes ahead with planning the orgy, justifying that by slowing down the dating progress with Kelly - after all, he can't be held accountable for anything that happens before they've got any kind of exclusive commitment, right? Oh, sure, the whole world should re-adjust their timetables to maximize your chances of balling your female friends, nice. This is a bit like saying that cheating on your wife is OK, as long as she doesn't know about it. He's pre-bending the excuses for his own benefit. I guess maybe everybody does that once in a while, but that doesn't make it right.
There is an orgy scene here, eventually, though there are a few false starts to the festivities - the post-"Me" generation has plenty of hang-ups and issues to work through, apparently. Meanwhile, people who are a little bit older have already worked things out, and they meet late at night in the back of a mattress store that serves as a de facto swingers' club. Once you reach your 40's or 50's it seems you either don't care any more about society's rules, or you've been through enough relationship troubles that you just want to get laid once in a while and don't need all the personal hassles that come with commitment. Umm, congratulations, I guess?
And so for one magical night in the Hamptons, everybody (eventually) gets what they need, work out all their lingering body and performance issues, and then either vow to never speak of the event again, or in some cases were so wasted that they don't even remember it. And every woman is like 70% lesbian once she lets herself go there, and every man is like 10% gay if he ever lets himself go there. Honestly, I'd like to see some more concrete data on that - we may be moving there slowly as a society, but really it's the youngsters that are more gender-fluid and bi-curious, not the older folks. Then again, a LOT of alcohol was consumed here, so maybe that had something to do with it, and skewed the results.
Also starring Jason Sudeikis (last seen in "Booksmart"), Leslie Bibb (last seen in "Movie 43"), Lake Bell (last heard in "The Secret Life of Pets 2"), Michelle Borth (last seen in "Shazam!"), Nick Kroll (last heard in "The Addams Family" (2019)), Tyler Labine (last seen in "The Boss"), Angela Sarafyan (last seen in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2"), Lindsay Sloane (last seen in "Darling Companion"), Lucy Punch (last seen in "The Giant Mechanical Man"), Will Forte (last seen in "The Laundromat"), Lin Shaye (last seen in "Snakes on a Plane"), Rhys Coiro (last seen in "Hustlers"), David Koechner (last seen in "Drillbit Taylor"), Don Johnson (last seen in "Knives Out"), Barbara Weetman (last seen in "Tammy"), Bob Hungerford.
RATING: 5 out of 10 commemorative t-shirts
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