BEFORE: This is a somewhat logical progression, since Mighty Joe Young was placed in a zoo - and just look how well THAT turned out. Really tough to find a good actor link tonight, I had to consult the Oracle of Bacon, which informs me that Bill Paxton was also in "Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over" with Sylvester Stallone, who voices a zoo animal tonight.
THE PLOT: A group of zoo animals decide to break their code of silence in order to help their lovable zoo keeper find love.
AFTER: I suppose I can see the connection - both "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" and "Congo" featured apes who could speak in sign language, and "Congo" even had a gorilla talking (with the aid of a computer). Tonight it goes further, with a gorilla (heck, the whole zoo) talking for real. Turns out the animals could talk all along, they just never had anything to say before. (Sorry, old joke.)
That puts this in the realm of "Dr. Doolittle", where only the main character could converse with animals - here the animals choose to speak only to the kindest of their captors. They pretty much have the run of the zoo, too, at least when no humans are around. Which also hearkens back to the monkeys leaving their cages in "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" whenever they wanted. I guess the reality of zoo enclosures and cages is just too bleak for a Hollywood movie.
But I could have taken this a little more easily if the main character was delusional or had hit his head or something, thus gaining the power to understand animals. Immediately after learning that all animals can speak perfect English, our zookeeper hero hits his head, and I just think maybe the screenplay got the events in the wrong order. Get concussion, THEN understand animals. Or I'd settle for a brain tumor causing auditory hallucinations.
It's simple, just put it together. Lonely guy, socially awkward around women, 8 years working at the zoo with minimal human contact. Anyone in that position might talk to the animals. But when they start answering back, it might be time to get professional help. Especially since NONE of their advice turns out to be helpful in the zookeeper's quest to get his girlfriend back. What's stranger, the animals telling him to pee in the middle of the restaurant to mark his territory, or him actually DOING that?
So if the animals don't understand human relationships, and their advice doesn't apply, then why does he listen to them? Also, why create a movie where this is a key plot point? It really does seem like a long way to go. In fact, the film seems to enjoy taking the long way around in every way - this is really a 10-minute plot padded out to about 100 minutes.
Failing at several relationships, only to learn that the best way to act is to "Be yourself"? Or a man changing every aspect of his life, just to determine he was better off in the first place? Again, seems like a long way to go. I realize this may be aimed at kids or young teens, but it still all seems like a lot of work for minimal returns.
NITPICK POINT: To the best of my knowledge, the word "zookeep" is not properly used as a verb. "I have to zookeep this weekend." Nope, doesn't work. I had the same negative reaction as when I hear some young person say, "I bartend on the weekends." I realize the English language is ever-changing, but you've got to draw the line somewhere - they should say "I tend bar on the weekends." So should it be "I have to keep zoo this weekend"? There must be a better way to say that.
Also starring Kevin James (last seen in "The Dilemma"), Rosario Dawson (last seen in "Seven Pounds"), Nat Faxon (last seen in "Bad Teacher"), Joe Rogan, Leslie Bibb, Donnie Wahlberg, Ken Jeong (last seen in "The Hangover Part II"), Nicholas Turturro, and the voices of Adam Sandler (last seen in "50 First Dates"), Nick Nolte (last seen in "Under Fire"), Jon Favreau (last seen in "Speechless"), Cher, Maya Rudolph (last seen in "Bridesmaids"), Don Rickles, Jim Breuer.
RATING: 3 out of 10 ice sculptures
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