BEFORE: I've got a problem with Hollywood, and it's not the one you think. No, not that one either. And not even the problem with making all those crappy movies - I've watched crappy movies, I can handle crappy movies. The problem is, there is no coherent schedule for exactly when films will premiere on the premium channels like HBO and Showtime. I've been waiting for this film from 2010, expected it to screen like a year ago, even added last night's film to the list in anticipation, and...nada. Oh, sure, it was available on PPV for a while, but why should I have to pay $4.99 when I already pay Time Warner so much cabbage for the premium channels?
Don't the cable programmers know I'm on a schedule? That it's Mad Science week? And that John Cusack (last seen in "2012") is my link to the next chain? If I don't watch this film tonight, the whole chain falls apart. It's like Hollywood doesn't care or something.
I suppose I could have skipped it, or watched random films for another month in hopes it would appear in the TV listings, but why should I have to wait in the digital age? So, I downloaded it - something I've resorted to only once or twice before when a film seemed otherwise unavailable ("Cashback" - what do the cable channels have against time-travel/naked boobies?) I realize that's a copyright violation (good luck tracing it, guvmint) but I promise to record the film again once some cable channel finally decides to run it. And if it premieres on Cinemax next week, then I'm the impatient jerk-off. Slap the cuffs on me...
It's OK, I believe in the chain. The chain is correct, the chain is life. The chain won't steer me wrong - OK, almost never. But still, I control the chain, the chain doesn't control me. Set the schedule, and stick to the schedule, unless a better schedule presents itself...
Linking from "Frequently Asked Questions...", Anna Faris was in "What's Your Number" with Thomas Lennon (last seen in "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian"), who has a cameo in this film.
THE PLOT: A malfunctioning time machine at a ski resort takes a man back to 1986 with his two friends and nephew, where they must relive a fateful night and not change anything.
AFTER: Again, a group of three loser guys finds themselves unstuck in time - the vehicle is a short-circuited hot tub here, not a British washroom, and instead of the far future, the destination is the go-go 1980's. Conveniently though, the 40-somethings get to inhabit their old teenage bodies, so there's no chance they'll run into themselves at the Poison concert. And more conveniently, they look like teenagers to everyone else, but they look 45 to the audience, so we don't get confused.
Also quite conveniently, the nerd nephew's along for the ride, and he's written enough fan-fiction to know how the time-space continuum works, and the others have seen enough time-travel movies to know that he's right. Butterfly effect and all that - you can't change anything, or the consequences could be disastrous.
Or is the chance to revisit a ski-trip in 1986 an opportunity to make things better? To not make the same mistakes, a do-over, to (probably) make all new mistakes? What would I, or you, or anyone do if we went back to pre-college days and knew better ways of talking to girls and stuff? We could improve our connections, do a better job of keeping in touch with people? What's that you say, take some more college courses, learn some more skills and improve our chances in the job market? Clearly you have no idea how this time travel stuff works. Try more drugs and have more crazy sex, now you're talking!
The screenwriters apparently learned all they ever needed to know about the 80's from old music videos, and everything about time travel from "Back to the Future" - namely that if you never get conceived you blink out of existence (or fade-out from a Polaroid) but if you're careful and don't change anything, plus perform a song from 30 years in the future and blow everyone's minds, you can party like a rock star, then get back to your old life. And if you do accidentally change anything, well, it could even make the future better, right?
OK, OK, one NITPICK POINT: If the characters were brought from 2011 to 1986 by an unlikely yet very specific mechanical/chemical malfunction, how do they know that re-creating that situation exactly will bring them back to where they belong? It probably will, since it's a ridiculous movie, but it's beyond convenient. How do the characters know that re-creating the situation won't re-create the result, and send them to, say, 1961?
Ah, hell, it's junk science and overly vulgar, but it's still a whole lot of fun. There's no moral here, other than you've got to live life to the fullest, even if it's the second time around.
That's it for time travel, the topic is cleared. Wait, was that a trailer for "Men in Black 3"? Ah, damn.
Also starring Rob Corddry (last seen in "The Heartbreak Kid"), Craig Robinson (also last seen in "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian"), Clark Duke, Crispin Glover (last seen in "Alice in Wonderland"), Sebastian Stan (last seen in "Captain America: The First Avenger"), Chevy Chase (last seen in "Memoirs of an Invisible Man"), Lizzy Kaplan.
RATING: An improbable 7 out of 10 snowmobiles
Nice post, I was looking for Stunning Hot Tubs For Sale and got your blog and come to know about many new things.
ReplyDelete