BEFORE: This looks like it's going to be a low-rent retread of "Yogi Bear", if that's even possible.
Linking from "Open Season 3", Crispin Glover was also in "Epic Movie" with Kevin McDonald, who was in "Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy" with Brendan Fraser (last seen in "Inkheart") in an uncredited cameo - that counts if I say it does.
Plus, this is the fifth movie in a row to prominently feature a bear as a character.
THE PLOT: A real estate developer's new housing subdivision faces a unique group of protesters, local woodland creatures who don't want their homes disturbed.
AFTER: How do I hate this film without taking sides against the animals? I love animals, both the indoor ones and the outdoor ones, the cute ones and the tasty ones. If that makes me a hypocrite, then most humans are hypocrites as well, but at least I'm aware of it.
And I've got no love for shady real-estate developers, or shady people in general - people like that might make me actually prefer the company of animals over humans. But even more than that, I hate slapstick as a form of entertainment.
I don't second-guess other people's choices - if you (or your kids) like seeing people getting sprayed in the face by skunks, or defecated on by birds, more power to you. This film is right up your alley - but I have a right to demand more cerebral entertainment.
I also maintain that we need forests, and maintaining a diverse biosphere is probably a good idea, so we need forest animals as well. (At least, that's what Ranger Rick magazines told me as a kid) But it would be great to see people putting housing developments on hold because they truly care about the many different species that would be affected, not because they get inconvenienced, and then roughed up by those animals.
SO the only reason this scores anything higher than a "1" is because the right message is there - pointing out the hypocrisy of people who tear down forests just to build houses on ironically-named streets like Elm and Maple should be a valid enterprise. Or highlighting the typical acts of companies that adopt green policies just for the sake of good publicity. However, the film didn't get there in any way that I found entertaining.
What a shame, it aimed really low, and still underperformed. Really, isn't this just "A Christmas Carol" crossed with "When Animals Attack"? There was a Super Bowl commercial last year where a man swerves to avoid a beaver in the road, and months later the beaver returns the favor by blocking the road with a tree to save him when the bridge is out - that 30-second commercial was more entertaining than this 90-minute film.
Also starring Brooke Shields (last seen in "Freaked"), Matt Prokop, Ken Jeong (last seen in "Knocked Up"), Angela Kinsey, with cameos from Patrice O'Neal (last seen in "Head of State"), Jim Norton, Wallace Shawn (last heard in "Teacher's Pet"), Billy Bush, and "The Daily Show"s Samantha Bee and Rob Riggle (last seen in "The Other Guys").
RATING: 3 out of 10 tranq darts
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