BEFORE: Back when I was watching prison films, I thought for a while that I'd end the chain with this film, and transition into football films. I went in a different direction, ending with "Escape From Alcatraz" and then moving into Clint Eastwood films instead - so I'll watch this one now. This will wrap up football week, but in an act of serendipity, Games Magazine ran a puzzle this month, containing images from football films, so with the answers to that puzzle, I've got a good list of football films I haven't seen, which includes: "Remember the Titans", "The Replacements", "Invincible", "Rudy", "Varsity Blues", "Brian's Song", "North Dallas Forty", and the remake of "The Longest Yard" - so I'll try to get to some of these next time around.
THE PLOT: A sadistic warden asks a former pro quarterback, now serving time in his prison, to put together a team of inmates to take on (and get pummeled by) the guards.
AFTER: Well, unfortunately I still haven't learned too much about the inner workings of football plays - all this movie taught me was how to play dirty, with brass knuckles and footballs thrown to the groin. But at least shots to the groin are always funny.
Burt Reynolds plays Paul Crewe, a cocky ex-football player who gets locked up for stealing his girlfriend's car, dumping it in the bay, and then punching out the cops who come to arrest him. In the 1970's, there was no manlier symbol of manliness than Burt (and his mustache!) - when he gets to prison, the mustache gets shaved off, a symbol that his freedom and power is gone...
For this film to work, you have to believe that a prison would contain enough football-playing guards to form a semi-pro team, and that the warden would be a secret football fanatic, and that he'd agree to a game between the guards and the inmates, just to get his team into fighting shape. This all seems pretty unlikely to me - what semi-pro league do a bunch of prison guards play in?
The most believable part, for me, is that it might be possible to assemble a halfway-decent squad from the ranks of a Florida prison - even if they're not football players per se, you could probably round up enough guys willing to take the field, just to have the chance to beat up the hacks.
But football players risk getting injured - why let your team play a game that doesn't count, just to make a point? Ah, but the warden (Eddie Albert) has other plans, mostly flexing his muscle to show how much power he has. I've learned from watching prison movies that wardens were some of the most reviled movie characters in the 1970's, right after oppressive college deans.
So Crewe assembles his ragtag bunch of misfits, which includes Michael Conrad (later famous for playing Sgt. Esterhaus on "Hill Street Blues"), James Hampton (later famous for a bit role in "Sling Blade") and Richard "Jaws" Kiel (later famous as a Bond villain in "The Spy Who Loved Me" and "Moonraker"). Bernadette Peters also has a bit role as a prison secretary with a giant beehive hairdo.
It was funny enough to keep me entertained - but as I said, I still haven't learned too much about the ins and outs of the game. I flipped on a college football game today, and found myself as clueless as usual...
RATING: 6 out of 10 athletic supporters.
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