BEFORE: James Caan carries over from "Bulletproof" and this looks like a silly stupid spy (?) comedy, God knows we don't need more of those, but since Mr. Caan passed away a few months ago, I figured I'd throw it in here as part of a three-film salute.
FOLLOW-UP TO: "The War with Grandpa" (Movie #4,293)
THE PLOT: When the girl he likes goes missing, Jake enlists the help of his grandfather and Grandpa's former special ops buddies.
AFTER: Jeez, it's not just James Caan, this film was released in 2017, so it's just five and a half years old, and at least five of the films actors have passed away since then - Jessica Walter (who died at the age of 80 in 2021), Paul Sorvino (who died at 83 in July 2022), Kenneth Welsh (famous for playing Windom Earle on "Twin Peaks", he died at age 80 in May 2022) and Lawrence Dane (who died at age 84 in March 2022). I'd think this was really eerie or maybe the film was "cursed" somehow, except these actors were all getting on in years, plus we did have that whole pandemic thing that affected senior citizens disproportionately. I don't believe in the "Curse of Superman" or the "Curse of Poltergeist" anyway, I mean time passes, and into each life a little rain must fall, and everyone's story ends in much the same way. We don't think of "The Wizard of Oz" and "Gone with the Wind" as cursed films, just because every actor who appeared in them is now dead, do we? Still, maybe somebody could check on Louis Gossett Jr., you know, just to make sure he's still OK?
For the younger stars in this film, this was probably a great opportunity to learn from actors who had decades (and decades) of experience. You can't put a price on that. This poor kid Dylan Everett has to go back to waiting for the call to play Zac Efron's little brother in something, and the female lead has to deal with the fact that she maybe only gets hired when Zendaya is unavailable or is asking for too much money. Sorry, that's just how I see it. You just know the casting director was thinking along these lines, and the director probably couldn't wait for the day when "Undercover Grandpa" would be on cable and people might be flipping channels and think that they might have stumbled on an early Zac Efron and Zendaya film.
The premise is a bit ridiculous - teen Jake finally gets the chance and the confidence to ask out Angie Wagner, a childhood friend who he now thinks of romantically, only wouldn't you know it, the big party he invites her to is on the same night when his family has dinner with his senile grandfather, famous for his B.S. war stories. But when Angie gets kidnapped because her car broke down and she accidentally saw a Krakhovian dictator drive by after he had faked his own death while on trial in Canada, his grandfather investigates the scene and starts working the case. It turns out that he's really former military intelligence, and the made-up stories and the made-up dementia were just his cover. He ends up calling his whole special ops team back into action, despite the fact that they're all really old and have various health problems.
Still, they've got experience on their side, in addition to bad backs, high blood pressure and weak bladders. One last mission, and if they don't survive, eh, well, there probably wasn't much time left on their clocks anyway. From the demolitions expert to the "king of camouflage" and the guy who makes wacky weaponized inventions, the team is ready to roll, as long as they're back at the nursing home before breakfast after the pre-dawn raid on the, umm, empty warehouse? Actually the only real bit of comedy here is that their well-planned mission is a total failure, they all get caught during the infiltration, but maybe their fearless leader can reason with General Komenchko. Sure, why wouldn't a crazy dictator be willing to listen to reason?
I know, this one didn't make a lick of sense, from start to finish - but at least it was funny at times, which "Bulletproof" seemed quite incapable of being. The jokes were telegraphed from a MILE away, like you just know the fake grenade and the bogus land mines are going to be important later, right? Who was the target market for this film, teens who wonder what their grandfathers did during the Bay of Pigs invasion? Thank God this wasn't James Caan's last film, that would have not been a great note to end his career with. They mentioned on Jeopardy! the other night that 2022 was the 50th anniversary of the release of "The Godfather", if I hadn't already seen the film enough times I'd say that I was due for a re-watch, that's a much better way to remember Mr. Caan, don't you think?
Also starring Dylan Everett, Greta Onieogou (last seen in "Miss Sloane"), Jesse Bostick (last seen in "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"), Jessica Walter (last seen in "Tapeheads"), Paul Braunstein, Louis Gossett Jr. (last seen in "Blue Chips"), Kenneth Welsh (last seen in "The Art of the Steal"), Paul Sorvino (last seen in "Rules Don't Apply"), Lawrence Dane, Jennifer Robertson, Jonathan Higgins (last seen in "The Boondock Saints"), David Bronfman, Timm Zemanek (last seen in "Steal This Movie"), Rob Archer (last seen in "The Samaritan"), Pat Lemaire.
RATING: 5 out of 10 secret herbs & spices
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