BEFORE: I'm working at an art sale this weekend, and I have to be there early, so this is a great time to run a review I wrote a month ago, for a film I saw TWO months ago, this saves me from staying up late tonight...
So I watched this one in the middle of my Summer Doc Fest, in-between the doc about Sammy Davis Jr. and the one about Jerry Lewis. First off, I badly needed a break from docs about the Rat Pack, they were fine, but my brain needs some fictional entertainment, and I needed to stop focusing on dead celebrities, just for a bit. I figured, maybe some positive energy from a wild animation film. Plus I'd determined that watching the new "Minions" movie was critical to keeping my chain going in September, only I couldn't be sure if the film would be available then. With my luck at that point it would probably have left theaters, and not been available on streaming yet, though with release dates being what they are these days, who can tell? It seems if a movie is doing well in the theaters then it could be six months before the film is on Netflix or Hulu, but then again, the release date on streaming might be pre-planned to follow 45 or 60 days after the theatrical, there are some funky arrangements out there right now, between the studios and the streamers. Anyway, I wanted to be sure to see this one, I need the chain to continue, I didn't watch almost 250 films this year just to drop the ball now.
Yeah, it looks a little funky when a 53-year old man shows up at a theater in midtown Manhattan to watch a kid's movie, without a kid. Pretty bad optics, but they have to allow for older childless animation fans, right? We're a bit weird, but we're out there. I think I saw "Despicable Me 3" in a movie theater, years ago, but I'm thinking I also passed on "Minions" until it came to cable. This animated film thus counts as both a sequel and a prequel, or just a continuation of the story as a cash-grab. Let's see if they can inject some life back into this franchise...
Russell Brand carries over from "Death on the Nile".
THE PLOT: The untold story of one twelve-year-old's dream to become the world's greatest supervillain.
AFTER: This is a film that's had its release date delayed several times, I guess the studio felt they were sitting on a winner, so they didn't send this one straight to streaming, they just sat on it and kept moving the date. That's usually a sign that a movie is bad, like they did that with "New Mutants", but I think this proved to be a smart move. The film made back its $80 million budget in the first weekend, and currently the gross is up to $548 million worldwide. Somebody at Universal just got a corner office and a raise.
It's been 12 years since the first "Despicable Me" film, and I feel like maybe I should have done a re-watch of all the films before going to see "Minions 2", but since Gru is 12 years old here, and in charge of the Minions for the first time, it's really not necessary. The only thing that ties this story to the original trilogy is the presence of Gru and the Minions, almost everything else here is all-new. There's just one other character from the first film that's back, and that's Dr. Nefario, and this film also explains how he came to work for Gru as a mad scientist. And they got the original voice actor back, I guess Russell Brand wasn't available for "Despicable Me 3" so his character spent that whole movie frozen in a block of carbonite like Han Solo, so he wouldn't have to say anything.
Other than that, we're a far cry from the first film, when Gru stole the moon and adopted those three young girls, or the second film, where Gru joined the Anti-Villain League and fell in love with another one of its agents, or the third film, where the whole family met Gru's brother and they fought that weird ex-child star character. But that first "Minions" film got released between DM2 and DM3? That's not how I remember things, but I guess I'm wrong - I should go back and re-watch them all, probably. Anyway, that "Minions" prequel ended with them finding Gru and going to work for him, and that's just before this 2nd prequel starts. Ah, yes, there's my review of "Despicable Me 3" from July 31, 2017 - I didn't like it that much. Also, five years ago feels like a lifetime away.
Since there's an Anti-Villain League, it makes sense for there to be a Villains League, too - here it's called the Vicious 6, and this group of weirdos with bad puns in their names steals this stone with the powers of the Chinese zodiac, which will give them great power on the first night of Chinese New Year or something. In the process of stealing it, five of them take the opportunity to kick one member, Wild Knuckles, out of the group, by killing him, only I knew for sure he wasn't dead, why introduce a character just to kill him? Anyway, the group conducts auditions to replace him in the group, and they contact Gru, for some reason - this doesn't make too much sense because Gru is 12, and has no reputation as a villain yet, so how would the Vicious 6 even KNOW about him? (NITPICK POINT).
But Gru fails the audition, only he doesn't, because he takes their accidental advice and steals the stone, so that they'll have to let him into the group to get the stone back. This is the first of about a dozen reversals over the course of the film, concerning who's working with who, who's fighting who, who has the thing and then who tries to get it back. And everything's difficult, every time somebody says THIS has to happen, you just know there's going to be a roadblock put in place to make that harder, because nothing in this world comes easy. Everything is difficult, problems keep arising and then the struggle continues, and once that's solved, on to the next problem, but that's going to be hard too. It's like somebody is preparing the kids in the audience for their adult jobs, whatever they may be.
The Minions all represent this crazy, problematic work ethic, too - whenever they think of something it seems like a great idea, only then they mess it up, and they have to go way far out of their way to try and fix it, then once in a while they get lucky and stumble on a solution only not the one they intended, but then five seconds later, it's on to the next problem. Sure, there's a through-line and eventually everything works out for the best, but it's so enormously frustrating along the way. This is life, kids, you might as well learn that now, it takes a lot of effort just to maintain your place in this world, and not everything is going to go your way.
Gru teams up with Wild Knuckles, who is (surprise) not dead, and he is Gru's favorite villain, what a coincidence, so after a kidnapping and some torture W.K. becomes Gru's mentor, meanwhile three of the minions travel to San Francisco (don't ask how) and realize they need to study kung fu in Chinatown, somehow completing a multi-year martial arts training program in under two days. Well, they had a good if unlikely teacher. Meanwhile the fourth main minion chases after a guy on a motorcycle with just a Big Wheel, but still somehow manages to catch him - instead of stealing the Zodiac stone from him, they just hang out on a long cycle ride, do fun stuff and hang, and the biker just gives it to him. Another good lesson for the kids, not everything needs to be done through fighting.
But everything gets really manic and confusing during the climactic battle, the five villains get the stone and turn into giant fierce animals from the Chinese calendar, while the three minions get turned into a rabbit, a goat and a chicken, which is just odd. Gru's tied to a clock that supposedly is going to tear him apart, just very slowly, and Wild Knuckles and the minions are expected to battle these 5 giant super-powered animals, it's all very surreal but doesn't make a lick of sense. And where are the Anti-Villain League agents when all of this is going down? Oh, I guess they just show up after everything is over and arrest anyone who's still alive, that's a big letdown.
Sure, it's fun and crazy and I guess exciting, but it's no "The Bad Guys", even though it played off of some similar themes. For that matter, it's no "Encanto" or "Mitchells vs. the Machines" either. Still, it was better than "Raya and the Last Dragon". Setting this one back in the disco-era with all the crazy fashions and great music was a stroke of genius, and also there are many great cultural references and in-jokes along the way for those of us who remember the 1970's, or people who can't remember much since then. I love great phony names for restaurants and stores in movies, and to have the villain's lair hidden in a record store, what else would you call that, except "Criminal Records". Tha's also genius.
Also starring the voices of Steve Carell (last seen in "Irresistible"), Pierre Coffin (last heard in "The Grinch"), Alan Arkin (last seen in "The Private Lives of Pippa Lee"), Taraji P. Henson (last seen in "The Best of Enemies"), Michelle Yeoh (last seen in "Boss Level"), Julie Andrews (last seen in "Becoming Mike Nichols"), Jean-Claude Van Damme (last heard in "Kung Fu Panda 3"), Dolph Lundgren (last seen in "Creed II"), Danny Trejo (last seen in "The Replacement Killers"), Lucy Lawless, RZA (last seen in "Dean Martin: King of Cool"), Jimmy O. Yang (last seen in "Fantasy Island"), Kevin Michael Richardson (last heard in "Tarzan & Jane"), John DiMaggio (last heard in "Scoob!"), Will Arnett (last seen in "Let's Go to Prison"), Steve Coogan (last seen in "Greed"), Colette Whitaker, Raymond S. Persi (last heard in "Ralph Breaks the Internet").
RATING: 6 out of 10 fireworks
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