BEFORE: Hitchcock makes his cameo very early in this one - he plays a man walking out of a pet store with several dogs. And I therefore get my linking out of the way early, which is good because I've got a lot to talk about today...
THE PLOT: A wealthy San Francisco socialite pursues a potential boyfriend to a small Northern California town that slowly takes a turn for the bizarre when birds of all kinds suddenly begin to attack.
AFTER: Everything is relative, let me start there. Some people feed birds, some don't. Some people go to the beach and enjoy a nice lunch and toss a few french fries at the seagulls, and others think, "How long before the gulls figure out that we humans are FULL of French fries, and then realize that they have these sharp pecking things at the end of their faces, and decide to just go for the jackpot?" I have a bird feeder in the backyard that I fill on a (mostly) weekly basis, and when the birds gain higher intelligence, you'll wish you had done the same, because a couple of cardinals and some pigeons are going to put in a good chirp for me.
As for humans getting along with each other, that's all relative, too. As a person who's forced to share subway space (or bagel shop space) with the youth of America and listen to them natter on about nothing in particular, hearing "like" or "actually" spoken every other word, it's my right as a person to hate someone in my mind just because they're yuppie scum, or a hipster douchebag, or vegetarian or an insurance salesman or Belgian, or whatever, as long as I keep my thoughts to myself. (Racism or sexism or homophobia = not cool, but beyond that, I consider it a free-for-all)
George Carlin had it exactly right - anyone faster than you on the highway is a "maniac", and anyone going slower is an "asshole". Your shit is "stuff", and other people's stuff is "shit". My anecdotes are hilarious gems of wisdom, and anyone who's not a friend or family members tells stories like "Oh ma God, this one time, we went to get bagels, and like, they were SO good, and I saw Jackie standing there, and I was like, are you getting bagels, too? And she was like, Yah, they are SO good, and I'm like, I KNOW, and it was like, so funny, because I hadn't seen Jackie in so long, and like there she was getting a bagel..." Meanwhile, I'm all like, "WILL A SWARM OF BIRDS PLEASE FLY DOWN AND PECK THIS GIRL'S EYES OUT SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS NONSENSE?"
And here's where I'm finally (FINALLY!) glad that I watched all of Hitchcock's earlier films as a prelude to, well, now. Because I've done this to be able to spot and isolate the pattern - and the pattern is this: for years, Hitch made films where bad things happen to good people. Makes sense, take an average (good) person, someone the audience can identify with, and put him in a terrible spot. He's accused of murder, or sabotage, or some robbery he didn't commit. It's all a terrible mix-up, and we feel for him, we really do, because clearly that could happen to us someday. And with a little effort, some dumb luck or the power of prayer (really?), the proper criminal would get arrested, or the Nazi would fall off the Statue of Liberty, and the proper balance would be restored.
But at some point, Hitchcock clearly had some kind of epiphany - what if bad things happened to BAD people? This would maintain the karmic balance, and the audience could enjoy a new feeling, let's call it "schadenfreude", taking delight in the suffering of others. Why else would he punch up Marion Crane's embezzlement scheme in "Psycho"? She was, at least in one aspect, not a good person. Did she deserve what she got? That's debatable, perhaps, but we certainly feel different about it than if she was a young, innocent volunteer worker who happened to check in to the wrong hotel at the wrong time.
About 2/3 of the way through "The Birds", I had the revelation. A group of townspeople are holed up in a diner, with a terrible bird attack going on outside, and some crazy townie looks at our heroine and says, "Why are they doing this? They said when you got here, the whole thing started. Who are you? What are you? Where did you come from? I think you're the cause of all this. I think you're evil! EVIL!" Which is ridiculous - or is it? Why did Hitchcock put this line here? Melanie arrived in town shortly before the bird attacks started, but she didn't cause them, any more than she caused that thunderstorm, or Uncle Joe's heart attack, or the recession.
But this gives me the key to understanding the film - our heroine, Melanie Daniels, for all her beauty, is a horrible person. She's a socialite (ugh), the daughter of a wealthy newspaper publisher (entitled), who's famous for being in the gossip columns (sound like anyone we know?) and recently caused a stir by jumping naked into a fountain in Rome. Jeez, she might as well have been the 1960's equivalent of Lindsay Lohan or Miley Cyrus, or any number of Kardashians. And she drives up the coast to chase a potential boyfriend, feeding him a series of lies. "Why, no, I didn't drive up here just to see you! (LIE!) I'm here to visit an old friend (LIE!) who I went to school with (LIE!) and I can't really stay, I've got to get back. (to do what? LIE!)"
Honestly, the townspeople are quaint and all that, but they're not much better. The woman that Melanie claims to be friends with rents her a room, and doesn't let on that Melanie's pursuing her ex-boyfriend Mitch, so that's a lie of omission. And Mitch's mother is another overbearing sort who would give Norma Bates a run for her money. I was all prepared to say Mitch was OK, but he is a lawyer, so that's that. Peck away, birds, peck away.
I don't think I'm too far off the mark here, since the bird attacks are really the highlights of the film. Whether Hitchcock chose to fill the rest of the film with banality so the attacks would stand out, or whether he was TRYING to portray a town full of horrible people who got what was coming to them, well, I guess that's all relative, isn't it?
NITPICK POINT: I realize the situation is stressful, and people do not always act logically in times of stress, but there are some real bonehead moves here. When a schoolteacher sees a flock of crows out in the schoolyard, logic would dictate that perhaps remaining indoors would be the best course of action. Nope, instead the teacher has her students put their coats on, because school's cancelled, and they're all going outside to walk home. Huh? Did they forget to hand out good sense in teacher school? Kids, you don't always have to do what your teacher says, especially if she's a complete bonehead! You might as well punch out the teacher at this point, because this way you'd give yourself detention and have to stay after school while your classmates get pecked to death. At least volunteer to stay after and clean the erasers, then you can make a run for it after your classmates draw the birds' attention.
Horror films eventually picked up the formula, and filled their plots with people who exhibited bad judgment, like camping out in the isolated woods, or swimming in shark-infested waters, or summoning demons or whatever. All of those "Friday the 13th" movies got it down - those teens on screen are having sex and (let's face it) you're not, so they deserve to die, right? I can almost draw a direct line back to "The Birds" and "Psycho", so I'm just wondering if this is where it started, or if it goes back any further.
Also starring Tippi Hedren, Rod Taylor (last seen in "Giant"), Suzanne Pleshette (last seen in "Oh, God! Book II"), Jessica Tandy (last seen in "The World According to Garp"), Veronica Cartwright, Doodles Weaver.
RATING: 6 out of 10 strawberry finches
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