BEFORE: I meant to do this somewhat chronologically, but to fit this one in, I've got to go back before I go forward again. Elizabeth I was the daughter of Henry VIII, and this film centers on Henry II - so I'm going back 6 Henrys, from the 1580's to 1183 or so. I always get confused with the British royalty coming from different "houses" - Henry VIII was a Tudor king, and Henry II was from the House of Plantagenet? What the heck is a Plantagenet, anyway?
At least Timothy Dalton carries over from "Mary, Queen of Scots", to maintain some level of consistency.
THE PLOT: King Henry II's three sons all want to inherit the throne, but he won't commit to a choice. They and his wife variously plot to force him.
AFTER: And you thought Christmas with your family was tough - sure, you have to set up the tree, decorate the house, prepare the Christmas dinner...but you've never had to fight over the succession to the British throne, have you? Your family members aren't all plotting to kill each other...well, who knows, maybe they are.
I don't pretend to understand the process of succession - I thought it just automatically went to the king or queen's oldest descendant, or to their next oldest sibling if they had no children. This film makes it seem like King Henry can call an audible and choose the next king from among his sons - can he do that? I guess when you start bringing divorces and annulments into the picture, along with legitimate versus illegitimate children, it starts getting more complicated. And perhaps the next in line for the throne is not the best choice, for one reason or another.
The royalty/rock star behavior tonight comes in the form of King Henry II, who has imprisoned his wife Eleanor and taken to sleeping with Alais, his son's fiancée (but which son she's supposed to marry seems to be a bone of contention). When Queen Eleanor is released to join the Christmas party, we realize that she and Henry are ready to continue a fight that's been going on for decades. They bicker so much about their sons and what it means to rule England - and they know what to say to each other to cause maximum damage. Please, not in front of the children!
There's not much action here, save for a jousting accident early in the film - after that it just becomes a series of negotiations - OK, you get the throne, and you get the girl, and you get the province of Aquitaine. So it's mostly talky-talky, or perhaps it's screamy-screamy. Couldn't they just settle who gets the throne with another jousting tournament? I couldn't follow it after a while, I kept nodding off - so I'm not sure if I failed to be interested in the film, or if it failed me by not holding my interest. I gave up around 3 am and finished it in the evening.
Problem is, we know how this all has to end. If that's Eleanor of Aquitaine, then Prince Richard is THAT Richard (the Lion-Hearted) and John is THAT John - anyone who's read or seen Robin Hood will know how this is all going to shake down. I wish I'd known, I could have watched this film right before those three Robin Hood films, it would have made a fine lead-in.
Also starring Peter O'Toole (last seen in "King Ralph"), Katharine Hepburn (last seen in "Bringing Up Baby"), Anthony Hopkins (last seen in "Thor"), John Castle, Nigel Terry (who later played King Arthur in "Excalibur", nice), and Jane Merrow.
RATING: 4 out of 10 goblets
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