Just Getting Started

Year 15, Day 308 - 11/4/23 - Movie #4,583

BEFORE: I admit that after all this time, I still don't know how Amazon Prime works - I mean, I understand that my wife has a subscription, so I can watch movies.  And I know that I can access it through the Sony PlayStation, which puts movies on the big-screen TV, but I still don't understand which MOVIES are available through AmazonPrime.  This one, for example, was "free" on AmazonPrime (I know, nothing is ever free...) when I put it on my watchlist, and now it costs like $3.99 there.  Why was it free then and not free now?  Who decides what costs extra and what doesn't?  There's a contract, probably, but when does it expire and why?  Oh well, guess I'm watching this one on Roku today, which means commercials, because nothing is ever free, I know.

Joe Pantoliano carries over from "The Mean Season". 

THE PLOT: An ex-F.B.I. agent and an ex-mob lawyer in the Witness Protection Program have to put aside their petty rivalry on the golf course to fend off a mob hit.

AFTER: I almost put this film in the romance chain, and there are little bits about older people hooking up at this retirement community, but this is not a romance film, not foremost anyway.  It's also set during the Christmas season, but it's not primarily a Christmas movie, either.  It's comedy mixed with action, I guess, living in between all of these categories, though, and that's not usually a good thing, because if a movie tries to be about everything then it sometimes just ends up being focused on nothing.  But look, the linking process somehow KNEW where to put this film, because even though it's the first week of November, all I see are Christmas-themed commercials on TV, so the season is here - but also just getting started. 

The setting is this retirement community in Palm Springs, called Villa Capri or Casa Villa or something innocuous, and the property manager, Duke Diver, is an older fellow who just happens to be in the Witness Protection Program, because I guess even those people need to do something for a living.  But he's seen in a TV commercial for the property by a mobster's wife in New Jersey -  the movie's just three minutes old and I have to call my first NITPICK POINT.  Don't you think that if you were in Witness Protection, and there were mobsters out there who would want to kill you, that you might just want to keep a low profile and maybe avoid appearing in a national TV commercial?  Just a thought.

Over the next few days, a number of new people arrive at the properly, including Leo, a former fed or military man (or so he claims) who moves into one of the cabins, also an attractive older lady who spends most of her time in the bar, and also a number of seasonal workers like a new Santa Claus from corporate, camel handlers for the life-size nativity scene and so on.  But which of the new people at the resort might be there to fire Duke, and which one might be there to kill him?  Duke becomes frenemies with Leo, because Leo gains the attention of the older single ladies at the resort, taking their attention away from Duke.  Tough guy, ex-military, can handle firearms and maybe explosives, Leo could be the hitman - or he could just be an older guy looking for a place to retire where he can also get laid on a regular basis. 

Duke challenges Leo to a "Caddyshack"-like golf showdown, which gets cut short after a rattlesnake is found in Duke's golf bag.  Umm, that could have just crawled into the bag, or maybe not - but who would try to kill duke with a poisonous snake?  Honestly, just about anybody, maybe he's not as charming as he thinks he is.  Jealous lovers, mob hitmen, or male rivals, really, anybody could have rigged that golf cart with explosives. Duke's also got a bad habit of signing out wads of petty cash, so he could also be a financial liability for the resort's management company, and it turns out the attractive older lady IS there to fire him.  Or maybe not, because soon she realizes what a fun place it is around the holidays.  Maybe she'll move in  there and start managing the place herself. 

Meanwhile the rivalry continues, Duke and Leo decide that there's only room at the resort for one top dog, so they have their own seniors version of the "Do-Deca-Pentathlon" to determine who gets to stay.  Chess, ping pong, weightlifting and limbo contests don't seem to settle the matter, so they end up throwing cards into a hat.  Was there no shuffleboard available?   It didn't help that Duke got Johnny Mathis to come and sing some Christmas songs, but that didn't win Suzie's heart, she danced with Leo instead.  Duke, you might have won the battle but lost the war.  In the end, it's back to the golf course to settle things, because that's a game that we all understand and that Duke's pals can help him cheat at. 

I don't know who thought some weird mix of "Caddyshack" and "Midnight Run" was a good idea, but it sure wasn't. Reviews of this film ranged from "a thoroughly unfunny misfire" to "a complete waste of time, money and talent". I didn't think it was THAT bad, but then again, I didn't have money invested in this film in the hopes of it being a hit. It wasn't a hit, either, it bombed, perhaps because its target audience couldn't get out of the nursing homes to buy tickets at theaters. Well, with a 90-minute run time, at least it won't waste TOO much of your time. 

Also starring Morgan Freeman (last seen in "The Queen of Versailles"), Tommy Lee Jones (last seen in "Val"), Rene Russo (last seen in "Thor: Love and Thunder"), Glenne Headly (last seen in "The Circle"), Nick Peine (ditto), Sheryl Lee Ralph (last seen in "The Flintstones"), Elizabeth Ashley (last seen in "Coma"), George Wallace (last seen in "Hubie Halloween"), Graham Beckel (last seen in "Sicario: Day of the Soldado"), Mel Raido (last seen in "Legend" (2015)), Jane Seymour (last seen in "Scandalous: The Untold Story of the National Enquirer"), Johnny Mathis (last seen in "Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool"), Kristen Rakes (last seen in "The Space Between Us"), Eli Goodman (ditto), Tasos Hernandez (last seen in "Fast Color"), Ramona King (ditto), Vic Browder (last seen in "Blood Father"), Oscar Avila, Whit Washing, Susan Conklin, Alma Sisneros

RATING: 5 out of 10 elf costumes for the staff