BEFORE: I've got an endoscopy appointment today, to try to figure out if there's something wrong with me internally, which could explain why I get the dry heaves in the morning, I've been on antacids for months and they seem to be helping, but the problem's not going away. If I get a clean bill of health today, then the problem is just general anxiety and stress caused by my job, and that would be a lot harder to fix, I think. So part of me is hoping to find out that I've got an ulcer or something physical that would be easier to deal with.
When I get back home, I think I'm going to try to sneak in a screening of "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever", which is likely to eat up the rest of my Saturday, but I've decided I need to break up the monotony of the romance chain, somehow. I write a review but I'll save it for March, when I know I can link to it about a week after my St. Patrick's Day movies. I'm starting to get shifts booked for March, the NY Children's International Film Festival could take up a few of my weekend days, so it wouldn't hurt to have a review or two ready to post.
Jesse Bradford carries over from "The Year of Spectacular Men".
THE PLOT: A high-school senior with a promising swimming career has a one-night stand with consequences.
AFTER: I know, this doesn't seem to fit neatly into the "romance" genre - it's way more into the "complex and effed-up relationship" spectrum, but it's something that's been on my DVR for at least two years, and I'm still desperately trying to free up some space there. Two or three more films coming up in the next week have also been clogging up the DVR, so this February chain was designed to clear off as many of those as possible, which not only frees up space on the device, but slots on my list. I've got 300 films on the back-up list that would probably all want spots on the main list, but my self-imposed limit there is 225 - every film that I have on DVD or DVR frees up a slot there, and I can record something else in its place. I'll just never be DONE, will I?
This is just "Fatal Attraction" set in a high-school, right? Sad to say there wasn't a lot of new ground broken, it's the same moral - don't cheat - just transposed to a high-school senior on the swim team with a regular girlfriend. And as we learned in "Last Night", swimming in a pool with somebody late at night who isn't your wife or steady girlfriend is just asking for trouble. It's late, it's dark, it's wet, people have to take their clothes off and swim in their underwear, it's a damn recipe for disaster, and by the time you're close together in the pool, it's already too late, you might as well just go for it. Because apparently nobody ever said, "Hey, this is a bit TOO wet and anyway, we might drown, so I know we're on the verge of something, but let's just call this off and get dry, maybe grab a burger, whaddaya say?" Personally, I never learned to swim, so I don't see the appeal of getting in a pool with somebody. I barely see the appeal of getting in a bathtub with somebody I care about. A shared shower? Maybe. But only as a precursor to getting clean before getting, umm, dirty again.
What about the cold and umm, shrinkage? That's not very sexy, so the logistics of pool sex would seem to be a hindrance. Not to mention that's it's not very sanitary, other people have to USE that pool after you, and they don't need your fluids mixed in with the water. Chlorine can only do so much, but I digress, I don't want to be gross. Too late, I guess.
Anyway, Ben Cronin wonders what it would be like to fool around in the pool, with someone who isn't his steady and uptight girlfriend, Amy. Obviously he gets more than he bargained for, because Madison Bell, the new girl in school, doesn't like to take "no" for an answer, she's used to getting what she wants, and what she wants is Ben. Even though she and Ben sort of agree to not talk about what happened in the pool, she moves in on his life, befriends his girlfriend, visits his mother and then starts dating his teammate on the swim team. Is this all to get his attention, or is there more to the story? She just doesn't want to be IGNORED, and next thing you know, there's a rabbit in the pot on the stove, right? Wait, different movie, but same idea. When somebody's this close to being psychopathic, supposedly it doesn't take much to push them over the edge - or maybe they were over the edge all along and just hid it really well.
Anyway, today's "Love Tip" is if you want to stray, make sure you break things off with the current girlfriend before you start something new with the new girlfriend. Wait, that's terrible advice, it should be "Don't cheat in the first place," or something like that - how about "Don't go swimming late at night with no lifeguard on duty"? Can we work with that?
Also starring Erika Christensen (last seen in "The Perfect Score"), Shiri Appleby (last seen in "Lemon"), Kate Burton (last seen in "Liberal Arts"), Clayne Crawford (last seen in "Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball"), Jason Ritter (last seen in "Carrie Pilby"), Kia Joy Goodwin, Dan Hedaya (last seen in "Too Big to Fail"), Michael Higgins (last seen in "The Conversation"), Nick Sandow (last seen in "Connie and Carla"), Pamela Isaacs, James DeBello, Phyllis Somerville (last seen in "Our Souls at Night"), Monroe Mann, Patricia Rae (last seen in "The Big Wedding"), Peter Hermann (also last seen in "Too Big to Fail"), Malcolm Barrett (last seen in "Larry Crowne"), Tom Cappadona.
RATING: 5 out of 10 letterman jackets
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