BEFORE: OK, now that I'm back on more monster-y monsters I'm feeling good about The Road to Halloween. "Muppets Haunted Mansion" and "Hotel Transylvania 4" are way in the rear-view, and it's time to get serious. Just in time, because Halloween's on Monday, it's going to be tough for me to stay on track because I'm working all day tomorrow at the theater, like a 12-hour shift. So I can't watch a movie tonight, because if I stay up too late then I'll oversleep, then there goes that job - I HAVE to be there at 6 am with the keys to open the theater. If I were a younger man, I'd just stay up all night and go for 36 without sleep, but I can't do that any more, I think our vacation last week proved that. I stayed up to catch an early morning flight and I was just no good that day, and I needed afternoon naps for about four or five hours before I could catch up.
OK, so no movie Friday night, no caffeine or sugar either, I need to be asleep by midnight to have a chance of getting any solid rest, before a long shift. I'll just have to watch my Saturday movie on Saturday night (I know, it sounds crazy...) and then proceed from there. This is why I like to start movies the night before, so if something DOES come up that prevents me from watching a late-night movie, I'll still have time to get the film in the following evening.
Jessica Henwick carries over from "Underwater".
THE PLOT: Seven years after surviving the monster apocalypse, lovably hapless Joel leaves his cozy underground bunker behind on a quest to reunite with his ex.
AFTER: Well, I'll give this one points for originality, I've never seen an apocalyptic story quite like this one. The lead-in starts with an asteroid approaching Earth, likely the kind that's going to wipe out all of human civilization, as many of us have come to expect. (Well, there ARE a lot of asteroids out there, so I suppose it's just a matter ot fime....). But WAIT, humans send up a bunch of rockets or missiles that blow the asteroid up, or knock it off course. So the planet is saved...but then there's chemical fallout from the explosions that affects all life on Earth, turning all of the smaller, non-human life-forms into giant monsters. So this also means the end of civilization as we know it, just in a way that we weren't expecting. All right, I'll roll with it.
(Well, OF COURSE I have nitpick points, the two main ones being: did we HAVE to use rockets with toxic chemicals with unknown side-effects in them? I mean, it seems easy, just build the rockets and DON'T use any materials that are untested or possibly hazardous, right? AND then of course there's another question, which is - if the chemicals fell from the rocket and affected the whole planet? Aren't humans part of that "whole planet" thing? Why weren't humans affected by the chemicals, did we as a species build up some kind of immunity by drinking diet sodas? My point is, if there can be giant snails and giant worms, where are the giant humans?)
The only other sticking point was that the lead character does a lot of talking to himself, but over the course of the film I came to accept that and I was rooting for him by the end. He's that certain kind of loser/loner/everyman, and maybe you see a little of yourself in him, and thus you're right with him on his quest and you want him to succeed. Or maybe not, maybe you're a total bastard or a socipath, but I was cheering him on as he tried to travel 90 miles on foot through a land where nearly everything wants to kill him.
Huh, maybe the secret to enjoying movies more is for me to not overthink them, and stop taking them so seriously. I wish I could do that more often, because when I do, I think I stand a better chance of having a good time. So, there you go, give this one a whirl if you can, just try not to take it so seriously, relax and try to enjoy it. You're welcome. Since the world's going to end soon, anyway...I'm fairly certain of it.
Also starring Dylan O'Brien (last seen in "Deepwater Horizon"), Michael Rooker (last heard in "Vivo"), Dan Ewing, Ariana Greenblatt (last seen in "In the Heights"), Ellen Hollman, Tre Hale, Pacharo Mzembe, Senie Priti, Amali Golden, Te Kohe Tuhaka, Tasneem Roc, Thomas Campbell, Joel Pierce, Melanie Zanetti, Bruce Spence (last seen in "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales"), Hazel Phillips, Miriama Smith, Andrew Buchanan, Tandi Wright, Damien Garvey, Julia Johnson, Donnie Baxter,
RATING: 8 out of 10 sand-gobblers
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