Thursday, November 11, 2021

Birthday Girl

Year 13, Day 315 - 11/11/21 - Movie #3,976

BEFORE: I'm making rough Thanksgiving plans today, spoke to my parents in Massachusetts who are now staying in an assisted living facility, at least for the winter, possibly longer.  If they don't move back to their house in the spring, then my sister and I may have to work together to close it down in the near future, but that's a problem for another day.  Right now I just have to figure out when to drive up to visit them, probably the Tuesday before the holiday, which would give me time on Wednesday to plan and shop for some kind of holiday meal for them, most likely I can just go to a big grocery store near there and get a turkey breast, maybe a small ham and a bunch of side dishes, mostly just heat-and-eat type stuff, and I know I can at least make some stuffing and a green bean casserole, the rest is just buying some appetizers like cheese and crackers, mini hot dogs maybe, and a couple desserts like an apple pie and a birthday cake for Mom.  No big deal, with my wife's help I can put all that together in a day and make that happen for them as a Thanksgiving meal.  Still, to be safe, I'm taking time off from both jobs and I'll shut down my blog for a week as well - the Movie Year will be on break from November 23-27, then when I get back I can start thinking about wrapping up the year and planning some kind of Christmas.

Nicole Kidman carries over from "The Killing of a Sacred Deer". 


THE PLOT: A thirtysomething bank clerk from St. Albans has his small-town life exploded by the arrival of his Russian mail-order bride. 

AFTER: OK, I'm officially filing this week's programming under the heading of "What could POSSIBLY go wrong?"  You know, as in, "Somebody asks that black teen to check the corner deli for cops, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?" Or "This kid goes to the art museum with his mother, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?"  Even "This doctor forms a friendship with the son of  a patient who died, what could..." well, you get it.  All of these situations were springboards for situations that then spun out of control - maybe that's all it takes these days to inspire a movie, some screenwriter thinking up a situation and then taking it to a set of completely illogical, but quite dramatic, next steps.  Forget six-act structure, all you need is a powerful first idea, then add in a shooting or an explosion and you're basically good as the fallout should fill the next 90 minutes, maybe even two hours. 

Tonight's story is, "This British guy orders a Russian bride, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?"  Well, quite a bit really, once her cousin (who really isn't her cousin) shows up for her birthday party (and honestly, it's probably not really her birthday, either) with his friend and, you guessed it, things start to spiral out of control. Who are these other Russians, really, they claim to be actors or musicians or something, but, are they?  And one seems very comfortable around Nadia, John's Russian bride, maybe a little TOO comfortable.  And maybe a little jealous? 

The story really isn't that complex, when you reason out that John's a bank clerk who's recently been trusted with the keys to the vault, things start to make a little bit more sense in retrospect.  This film even predates the concept of "catfishing", I think, but it works along the same lines, the lonely guy with access to money was probably targeted from the jump, there are still maybe unanswered questions about whether Nadia really was available through the agency, or just targeted him at the airport when his real bride didn't show up, but it hardly matters. The concept was the same back in 2001 as it is today, if you put yourself out there, you make yourself vulnerable, and people can use your personal information against you.  

I'm under strict orders at the new job to not put any information out on social media about who's appearing at the theater, with good reason. But I can talk about it later, after it already happens - tonight I worked a screening of "Licorice Pizza", directed by Paul Thomas Anderson, who also directed "Boogie Nights" and "There Will Be Blood". There were hardcore PTA fans lined up to see him, he was due to speak at a Q&A after both screenings - so even with a top-level film director, security has to be involved, and they're on hand to get him in and out of the theater, because you just never know. I mean, I respect his films and he is one of the top two Paul Andersons in the business, I can't imagine who would want to do him any harm, but then there's no such thing as being too careful. (What shocked me more was that there are still hardcore 35mm fans out there, people who showed up for this screening JUST because it was on film, not digital. Go figure, but then some people still listen to vinyl records and watch VHS tapes.)

Anyway, last night's question, raised by "The Killing of a Sacred Deer", concerned how far a parent would go to save the life of their child, or vice versa. Tonight's question concerns how far a man would go to save his fiancĂ©e, even one who doesn't speak much English and may not even be the woman he's been corresponding with - but come on, she's "2001 Nicole Kidman" hot, so probably pretty far. When he finds himself stuffing stacks of bills from a bank vault into a guitar case to pay off her cousin's friend, I guess we know the answer to that one.  Damn, man, don't throw away your whole career for a piece of tail! Then again, Nicole Kidman circa 2001, so I totally get it. Almost. 

That's it, not much to see here, honestly. There's a bit of a back-and-forth between John and the two Russians, with Nadia (not her real name) caught in the middle, and it ends like you were probably hoping it would, without taking up too much of your time. Thank you, next. 

Also starring Ben Chaplin (last seen in "Two Weeks"), Vincent Cassel (last seen in "Rio, I Love You"), Mathieu Kassovitz (last seen in "Haywire), Kate Lynn Evans, Stephen Mangan (last seen in "Billy Elliot"), Xander Armstrong (last seen in "Scoop"), Sally Phillips (last heard in "Ferdinand"), Jo McInnes, Ben Miller (last seen in "Johnny English Strikes Again"), Jonathan Aris (last seen in "Churchill"), Steve Pemberton (last seen in "Match Point"). 

RATING: 5 out of 10 bondage magazines

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