Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Hope Gap

Year 13, Day 54 - 2/23/21 - Movie #3,756

BEFORE: I'm starting to see signs that things in New York City are getting back to normal-ish. Ads have been updated in the subway stations (I'm seeing fewer ads for last year's TV shows and Broadway plays scheduled to open in April 2020) and in the past two days I've eaten something in quick-serve restaurants that had open tables, TWICE.  And then today the news broke that movie theaters in town can finally open up again, on March 5, at 25% capacity.  Well, it's something, I guess you have to walk before you can run, and the suits at the major studios should be celebrating right now, because there's a chance that "Black Widow" and other blockbusters slated for release might get some attention and do some box office, and maybe by the time summer rolls around we can just pick a movie, buy a seat online and not even think about it any more, and we won't have to pay $20 just to watch a first-run film on our home TV, we can pay $20 plus $12 for popcorn and a drink to watch it in a dark crowded room that's not between our kitchen and our bathroom.  Here's hoping. 

Annette Bening carries over from "The Seagull". 


THE PLOT: A couple's visit from their son takes a dramatic turn when the father tells him he plans on leaving his mother. 

AFTER: Well, it seems I'm getting back into the "It's complicated" section of this year's romance chain. Grace and Edward have been married for 29 years and have an adult son, but Edward reveals to his son that their entire relationship is based on something of a misunderstanding - he met Grace after boarding the wrong train, told her a story about how he'd just mistaken a man for his deceased father, and she comforted him. This was apparently enough to build the foundation of their marriage on, but he's never really felt this emotion called "love" where Grace is concerned.  But as a typical British person, he was naturally unwilling to correct someone else's assumption and clear up this rather embarrassing confusion, so he just went along with it to avoid a confrontation. For almost thirty years. Yep, that checks out, very British of him.  (I'm reminded here of every episode of "Fawlty Towers", the lengths that John Cleese's character would go to just to never admit he was wrong, or to be made to feel foolish in any way, though that then just ended up happening even worse.)

But somehow they managed to raise a son, and both Edward and his son Jamie have endured endless criticism from Grace - now, it's only naturally on some level for a mother to be critical of a son, sometimes a mother will think she's being encouraging but is instead being condescending.  With a long-time spouse, on the other hand, she's been so demanding of Edward over the years that he just defers to her on everything, he's become a doormat that goes along with everything Grace wants, and that in turn drives her absolutely crazy.  She still wants what she wants, but she wants Edward to want the same things, too, and he just doesn't.  Plus, there's something of an expiration date on Edward's feelings, it turns out he can only defer to her for so long, and the clock has run out.  (Also, he's met someone through his teaching job that he has feelings for, and so he believes he's got a real chance at love for the first time, if only he can get out of his marriage.)

But separating from Grace isn't going to be easy, even though Edward's willing to part with his stake in the house - secretly he longs for something like his son's spartan bachelor-pad existence - and Grace still believes she's in love with Edward, even if her definition of love is more than a little screwed up.  She's a control freak, and most likely what she appreciates most about her marriage is being the one in charge, so when she's thrust into this situation that she can't control, you can just feel that she's not going to take it well.  Edward's forced to change his phone number, and Grace keeps demanding an in-person meeting before she'll sign any paperwork, which fits right in with her controlling personality.  Meanwhile their son is by default put into the position of being a negotiator between them, and insists that he won't choose sides, even though that's exactly what Grace keeps pushing him to do.  

This one feels very real because we do get to see both sides of their story, and I can't really tell if I'm supposed to side with Grace or Edward.  Of course it sucks to be left by a spouse, but on some level, it also sucks to be the one who leaves, who feels like there's no other recourse or way to regain self-worth except to pack a suitcase and head out.  Edward's just a bit luckier that he's got a new relationship on the horizon, something fresh to explore to take the sting out of it, while Grace spends days on end in bed, stops cleaning the house or taking in the mail, and starts going through the stages of grief, spending most of her time on "anger", with a brief stop-over on "bargaining" before heading straight on to "depression". 

Jamie's story sort of gets lost in the shuffle here - though his mother berates him early in the film over his relationship troubles, we never really find out exactly what those troubles are.  He makes a point of saying he's not gay, but he also can't seem to maintain a relationship of any length with a woman.  We can infer that something about being raised by these parents maybe broke something inside of him, watching them argue for over two decades may have soured him, at least unconsciously on long-term relationships.  But I really had to read between the lines to get there, it's not very obvious and I may even be wrong about this.  Maybe it's just the long hours he puts in as a web-site developer that affect his ability to form a partnership bond. 

The scenery is beautiful - Seaford in the U.K. has something called "The Seven Sisters", which are chalk cliffs similar to the White Cliffs of Dover, and the establishing shots show them again and again, from every angle.  I kept waiting for them to be important to the story, like if Grace was at any point considering jumping off the cliffs, but I don't think so, they're probably just nice to look at.  Hope Gap, in addition to having a sort of meaning in the title representing the loss of hope, is the real-life name of a beach below these cliffs.  Seaford was once known for its beaches, but creating a large breakwater 100 years ago in the nearby harbor ruined those beaches, and the shoreline there is now very narrow and composed of small boulders. (Perhaps there's another metaphor there for a relationship that's no longer what it used to be...). The U.K. tried a massive beach replenishment project there in 1987, but it was apparently bungled and didn't achieve positive results. 

Ah, and the IMDB trivia section tells me that the writer/director, William Nicholson, based this story on his own parents, who split up after 33 years together.  So that's probably why it feels so realistic. It presents to the viewer a rather interesting conundrum - when a couple splits, they sometimes say they'd be happier if they had never met in the first place.  But is this really true?  Since we don't get "do-overs" in life, how can someone ever know that they'd be happier or sadder if their life played out differently?  It's probably madness to even start thinking this way, and it's just not productive - it's better to just be aware of one's situation, and if things fall apart, try to move forward as best as you can, even though that may be difficult. 

I sure have seen a lot of films this February in which older single ladies have dogs, or suddenly get a dog as a companion to get by - this trope appeared in "Manglehorn", "I'll See You in My Dreams", "The Jane Austen Book Club" and today's film.  "Duck Butter", too, so it's not just older straight women...it just feels like screenwriters have single female characters adopt dogs when they don't know what else to have them do, symbolically I suppose it means they're OK being alone, like who needs a man in their life if they've got a dog for companionship?  (And what happened to Will and Abby's dog in "Life Itself"? We never found out...)

Also starring Bill Nighy (last seen in "The Constant Gardener"), Josh O'Connor (last seen in "Florence Foster Jenkins"), Aiysha Hart, Ryan McKen, Steven Pacey, Nicholas Burns, Rose Keegan (last seen in "Match Point"), Nicholas Blane (last seen in "The Illusionist"), Sally Rogers, Derren Litten, Finn Bennett, 

RATING: 6 out of 10 beach huts

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