BEFORE: I got really lucky with "Spies in Disguise", in that I programmed it before it became available on cable - I was willing to pay the iTunes fee because I needed the link to today's film, but I think that's probably where my luck is going to run out. I did the same thing with two other films - the recent remake of "The Call of the Wild" with Harrison Ford, and "Downhill" with Will Ferrell. I planned to include both of these in September's chain two months ago, figuring that by the time I'd get to them, surely they'd be available on premium cable, or On Demand, or at least for rental on iTunes. Nope and nope - "The Call of the Wild" is still a buy-only deal on iTunes, at $14.99, and the same goes for "Downhill" at $9.99. Too rich for my blood, as I'm still only working part-time.
To be fair, both films are available for rental on AmazonPrime, for $5.99. Hmm, if it's going to cost me $12 just to maintain my plan, and that's above what I'm paying now for cable, I'd prefer to find another solution. I might rent (on average) two films each month from iTunes, but that's a last resort, and that only costs me about $6-8 per month, so let me try and find another path. I know, I said no more messing around with the chain, but these are desperate times and I'm not going to pay exorbitant fees.
Hmm, a little searching through my cast lists, and I found a combination of two films that could take the place of "The Call of the Wild", that's going to drop me off right where I need to be next, and then if I drop "Downhill", the total number of films left in 2020 remains the same. So that's the back-up plan, unless "The Call of the Wild" suddenly airs on HBO next week, then I'm rescheduling it and "Downhill" for next year. Already this year I've knocked off several films that have been rescheduled again and again, like "Thirteen", "Matinee", "The Blind Side" and "Call Me by Your Name", so it's not the end for those movies, I just need to be ready to watch them when they become a bit more available.
Now, I'm crossing my fingers that those two replacement films will still be on Hulu for another week, so I can watch them when I need to. This is not a given, I feel like it's about 50-50 odds that they'll disappear, given my bad history with this happening with Hulu. Come on, just stay there a bit longer....don't make me spend $8 on iTunes to rent these two films that I'm watching to avoid paying $12 to AmazonPrime.
Karen Gillan carries over from "Spies in Disguise". She's also in "The Call of the Wild", and I was going to use her as a link twice this month, but now I guess she'll only be in four movies this year, and not five. C'est la vie - she's also in "Jumanji: The Next Level", scheduled for late October.
THE PLOT: A detective recruits his Uber driver into an unexpected night of adventure.
AFTER: I guess if you think about it, it's still a bit early for me to be watching the films of 2020. Movie theaters still aren't open in New York City, so I've had to pass on the current releases like "Tenet", "The New Mutants" and "Bill & Ted Face the Music", while other 2020 releases like "No Time to Die", "Bob's Burgers" and the new "Ghostbusters" have all been delayed until next year, thanks to that pesky virus. And the news just broke that "Wonder Woman 1984" has been postponed until Christmas, which makes me not saving a slot for it a wise decision. I've pinned all my hopes on "Black Widow", still scheduled for November 6, but the release status of that is still a bit unclear. (I've got a back-up plan to complete my year without it, but I would rather not have to use that.)
Still, streaming and cable are where it's at, and I have managed to see a number of films this year with 2020 release dates - they either opened in January and made it to cable the regular way, or they went direct to streaming, either way the result is the same for "Just Mercy", "1917", "Bad Boys for Life", "The Gentlemen", "Greed", "Once Were Brothers: Robbie Robertson and the Band", "The Last Thing He Wanted", "Onward", "The Willoughbys", "7500" and tomorrow's film. That's not bad, 11 films with 2020 release dates, considering the circumstances. Let's say that maybe I can get 3 or 4 more in, like a couple of Netflix premieres in addition to "Black Widow". Seeing 15 films from 2020 DURING 2020 would be quite an accomplishment, considering that theaters near me haven't been open since March. Usually I'd rack up a few superhero films in an average year, but this year I might have to settle for just "Black Widow" and "Birds of Prey", the way things are going. And I plan to be very busy during 2021 catching up on all the films I missed this year.
But in the meantime, my list is still full of movies released in 2019, there's still so much to choose from, like "Stuber", now running on HBO (one of those pesky channels that does not allow me to dub a film to DVD, very annoying - but my DVR is acting up again, and if it dies like all of its predecessors, I may lose this ability altogether, along with a bunch of Ingmar Bergman movies I've been storing up for January like so many acorns). It's a serviceable enough comedy, obviously riffing off the "unlikely comedy pairing" motif, only taking that to the extreme. That's been something of a running theme around here these last few days, starting with the different approaches to police work of the two cops in "Bad Boys for Life", then we had Will Smith teaming up with his younger clone, then Will Smith teaming up with a nerd inventor. The divide has been growing in these matchups, until we find ourselves with a large, brutal cop teamed up with a small, gentle Uber driver. If you follow the logic, and assume that the comedy is found in the chasm between the two personalities, then by rights this one should be hilarious.
Eh, it is and it isn't. There's nothing horribly offensive here, it's maybe a bit too formulaic, but if you're looking for laughs in an action movie (combined in that peanut butter in chocolate way) that won't take up too much of your time, you could sure do a lot worse than this. Would I rather be on a different track that would allow me to see "The New Mutants" and "Tenet"? Perhaps, I don't know - it doesn't do much good to wish for things that I can't have, plus what if I don't end up liking "The New Mutants"? It seems like a slam-dunk, but then, so did "X-Men: Dark Phoenix". Maybe it's better to stick with the movies I have on hand, they're a known quantity, umm, after I watch them, anyway. It is what it is at this point.
Dave Bautista took all the comedy skills he learned while playing Drax in the "Guardians of the Galaxy" movies and applied them here, which sort of leads to questions about whether he's funny on purpose or funny accidentally. Yes, there's a difference. If he's just a big muscle-bound guy who can just say funny things because they're written down for him, that's one thing, but if he's aware of the image he puts out there, has a genuine sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously, somehow I think that puts him in a different category. Considering that he was grown in the same lab that produced Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and then John Cena, who have both been in comedies as well as action films, I'm guessing that some form of acting lessons is part of the WWE training program. But then why haven't we seen more wrestling superstars headlining Hollywood films? Why is it just these three guys?
The paper-thin plot here is about Vic, a burly cop whose partner dies in a shootout, partially because he lost his glasses. Six months later, he finally gets his Lasik surgery, but on the same day that his daughter has her first gallery show, and also his partner's killer finally resurfaces and he gets some intel about when and where that guy's going to be. Naturally he didn't know all of this was going to go down on the same day, because the simple answer here would be to just re-schedule the surgery. No, of course the call about the drug dealer he's been looking for comes AFTER the surgery, and since he forgot about his daughter's show, she downloads the Uber app for him because he won't be able to drive himself around that day.
Still, he tries, and wrecks his car - but all of this goes toward character, it shows that he's a straight-ahead, forceful guy who has trouble asking other people for help. He's more of a "hold the gun on somebody and demand answers" kind of guy, cut from the same cloth as Riggs from "Lethal Weapon", or any of a number of characters played by Dwayne Johnson. Shoot 'em all and then sort it out later. But since he desperately needs to reach his contact and get a lead on the bad guy, he takes that step and calls an Uber, not knowing what the consequences will be.
Let's just assume there are a number of NITPICK POINTS here, associated with Vic's vision. Like, if he can't drive a car, how is he properly operating the Uber app? Just saying. As a person who's had eyeglasses since the age of 6, I can't really condone the actions of Vic here with regards to his vision. Clearly he had bad vision BEFORE the operation, so he's already familiar with the concept of not being able to see. What, exactly, suddenly made him think that he'd be able to operate a car while his eyes are still recovering from LASIK surgery? Did he suddenly get stupid when his vision was bad, but in a different way? Plus, he's a cop, so he should be well aware of the potential consquences of driving while impaired - so while this stuff is all funny, and necessary to drive the plot forward, it's not at all logical. And as a sight-challenged person, I think I take some offense here - impaired vision does not lead to impaired judgement. In fact, it's quite the opposite - if I lost my glasses and couldn't see well, there's no way I'd get behind the wheel or do any of the other things Vic does while his eyes are recovering.
Meanwhile, the mild-mannered driver he happens to choose, Stu, has problems of his own, like a dead-end job at a sporting goods store (which is why he's driving Uber shifts on his off-hours) and a business deal/platonic relationship with a woman he likes, they're going to open a spin class center together, only he can't quite tell her how he feels about her. Oh, if only he could encounter someone who could show him how to assert himself and take control of his life! Wait for it...
Vic forces Stu in to a number of dangerous situations, while he works his way up the drug-dealer chain in order to find out when the big drop is going down. But together, can the two of them track down the top crook, make it to the gallery show, uncover police corruption and fix Stu's career and relationship, all at the same time? While forging a friendship based on mutual respect, despite their vast personality differences? Duh, it's a movie, of course they can!
Where the heck has Mira Sorvino been hiding? There's plenty of credits on her IMDB page, but the last film that she was in that I've seen was "The Final Cut", released in 2004! Has she encountered some difficulty getting hired in Hollywood, or has she deliberately been turning down mainstream work in favor of smaller, more personal projects? It's tough to determine.
Also starring Kumail Nanjiani (last heard in "Men in Black: International"), Dave Bautista (last seen in "Hotel Artemis"), Iko Uwais (last seen in "Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens"), Natalie Morales (last seen in "Going the Distance"), Betty Gilpin (last seen in "True Story"), Jimmy Tatro (last heard in "Smallfoot"), Mira Sorvino (last seen in "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion"), Steve Howey (last seen in "Still Waiting..."), Amin Joseph (last seen in "The Gambler"), Scott Lawrence (last seen in "The Host"), Rene Moran, Julia Vasi, Melody Peng, Victoria Anastasi, Malachi Malik (last seen in "The Accountant"), Amber Chardae Robinson, Patricia French (last seen in "The Front Runner"), Roger Payano (last seen in "Lady and the Tramp"), Jay D. Kacho.
RATING: 6 out of 10 male strippers
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