BEFORE: Well, terrible news - right after I planned my chain of movies to get me from the end of my documentary chain to "Wonder Woman 1984", and from there to the start of my October horror chain, I found out that the release date of the new Wonder Woman movie has been moved, from August 14 to October 2. So my new plan needed to be revised, maybe even scrapped entirely.
I know, there's a pandemic on, and we all have to make adjustments. But I JUST MADE that plan, now it's out the window. Or maybe not. The best thing about my plan was that it got me focused on how I wanted to spend the rest of my slots this year, and it neatly divided my watchlist into two parts - one list of films that I could get to this year, and another list of films that would have to carry over into 2021. And I was fine with it, very comfortable with which films could make the cut and fit into what's left of 2020. So maybe I didn't need to scrap the whole thing, maybe I could preserve some of it, or even most of it.
So I took a look at the films I had scheduled on either side of "Wonder Woman 1984". Was there another film on my list that could take its place, connect the two films on either side. No, there wasn't. BUT, there were two films that could bridge that gap. And I still have extra slots, so there you go. One hole plugged.
Next problem - another film coming up that I may want to see is "Bill & Ted Face the Music" which got its release date moved UP to August 14. So far it hasn't been part of my plan, but could it be? I found a place where I could insert it, but is that really what I want to do? And once I link to it, could I link back to the chain I just created, in (hopefully) not too many steps? Why, yes I can, I'd have to delete two other films, and add one more with Keanu Reeves in it, but that's possible!
But with so much uncertainty still over when theaters are going to re-open, it makes sense right now for me to have a fluid plan, or as they say in the world of magic tricks, "multiple outs". This applies to magic tricks that give the magician several ways to appear to complete a trick, so that even if a person picks the wrong card, or the wrong color from a set of choices, they can still have a way to complete the trick and still make it look like the trick worked, even if it's to a lesser degree. This is what I've been planning for "The New Mutants", the X-Men spinoff that's had its release date delayed 4 times already, and the pandemic rescheduling would make that 5. In my October chain I've got one plan if "The New Mutants" gets released on time, and I've got a back-up path in case it doesn't. So the same will hold true for "Bill & Ted Face the Music" - if it gets released as planned on August 14, I have the option of going to the theater to see it. If the pandemic restrictions are still in place, theaters don't re-open in time, and the film's release gets delayed, then I'll watch those two other movies instead.
But I'm sorry, now "Wonder Woman 1984" is probably off the table for me, because by October 2 I'll have started the horror chain, and for me that's set in stone already (umm, except for that bit about "The New Mutants"). After October's done I may have just 10 or 12 slots left in the year, and the chances of being able to link to that superhero film from the end of the horror chain are slim to none. I'll double-check that, but it's looking very unlikely. I'm keeping my options open and my plans fluid, because right now that's the only way I can be sure of having another Perfect Movie Year during this otherwise very imperfect, terrible, no-good year.
Matthew McConaughey carries over from "Serenity", and so does the nautical/summer/beach theme.
THE PLOT: A rebellious stoner named Moondog lives life by his own rules.
AFTER: Let's see, any beach-related milestones in history today? On this day in 551 AD, a tsunami struck Phoenicia... nah, too depressing. Happy birthday to Tom Hanks, who spent a lot of time hanging out on a beach in the film "Cast Away". Too bad I couldn't schedule a Tom Hanks film today, though... And Rod Steiger passed away on July 9, 2002, and of course he was in the film "On the Waterfront". OK, so this doesn't always work very well.
It's funny, I didn't pay attention to who directed this film, but something during the film reminded me of a film I watched last year, "Spring Breakers", because in both movies characters just kept getting themselves into worse and worse trouble, and nobody seemed interested in doing anything to improve their situation. And both films were equally pointless and terrible, so when I saw Harmony Korine's name at the end listed as the director, I thought, "Well, sure, THAT makes sense." Mr. Korine is now banned from future appearances in this blog - you just don't get a third chance with me. I may forget but I don't forgive.
Up until that point, I was really wondering what the point of this whole little exercise was, now I know for sure that there is none. Korine just wanted to show a descent into chaos, and had no interest in pulling that character away from it, not at any point. Mucho self-destructive behavior is on display here, Mr. Moondog is not interested in improving his situation, finishing that book of poetry he's been putting together, or acting like a responsible adult at any moment in time. He's always either drunk or stoned, or both, even during his daughter's wedding. He also lives apart from his wife, who's up in Miami while he's catting around down in Key West. I can see the appeal of the island life down in the Keys, but generally you'd expect a character to pick one lifestyle or the other - either be married and live well in Miami, or be single and live like a hobo in Key West, but Moondog can't seem to choose.
Worse, he's got several girlfriends down in the Keys, so clearly he doesn't think the rules of fidelity apply to himself, but then he doesn't take it well when he finds out his wife is having an affair. Well, you can't have it both ways, Moondog, that's an unfair, antiquated attitude - the concept of "free love" or an open marriage should apply to you, but not to your wife? I already didn't like this character, and after seeing this I couldn't stand him. Like, OK, be a bum, be an alcoholic, cheat on your wife, but don't be a hypocrite on top of all that.
Then I really REALLY hated him after the events following the wedding celebration. OK, it's great that he forgave his wife and rekindled their relationship so they could go out and party together, but that just didn't end well. And what SHOULD have then been a wake-up call for Moondog to stop his bad behavior only made things worse, the court orders him to rehab, and that restrictive lifestyle just doesn't work for him, so he and another patient, alcoholic pyromaniac Flicker, break out of rehab so Moondog can drink more beer, smoke more weed and get into even more trouble than before. You see where I'm going with this? Is this the type of character we should be making movies about, somebody who's clearly on a downward spiral and has no intention of pulling out of it? You throw this guy a lifeline and he's likely to set it on fire and throw it back at you.
Who knows, maybe this is semi-autobiographical, or McConaughey saw something redeeming in Moondog, a guy who always lands on his feet yet also disproves the concept that if you do good things, good things will happen to you. Moondog does terrible things, or regular things terribly, yet he keeps getting rewarded for this, for the most part. I guess if all you want out of life is easy access to beer, weed and poontang, those are quite attainable goals that can be achieved with minimal effort. And when any restrictions are put on his behavior, he rebels - I guess we're seeing a lot of that Florida spirit now with all the people down there refusing to wear facemasks and practice social distancing, but look where that's gotten them!
(Umm, yeah, Florida people, you and I need to have a talk. I'm going to need all of y'all to put your damn masks on and control the spread of Covid-19 in your state. Because right now I need those movie theaters in NYC to open up, and that's not going to happen if any of you redneck yahoos travel outside your state and drive your infected asses up the East Coast. Are we clear? I'm rooting for you guys, I really am, I want to see those numbers come down in your state, for my sake as well as yours, but for that to happen, you've got to change your behavior, and your mistaken beliefs about the effectiveness of facemasks, and your so-called right to not wear them. It's not just about protecting yourself, it's about protecting others, which is the decent thing to do. Thank you for your attention.)
I think McConaughey probably just wanted to party - he's a good actor, even has an Oscar, but I think there's more Moondog in him than there is him in Moondog. Just a theory. The chance to hang out with Snoop Dogg for a few weeks, drink beer, smoke the wacky tobacky or the sticky icky AND get paid on top of that, was probably too good to pass up. But that doesn't mean it was a good idea. At the very least, there should have been some lesson that Moondog learned from everything that happened to him. Something to make a point, something to explain the why of it all, or demonstrate any sort of karmic balance - but it's just not there.
But karma did eventually strike - this film had a $5 million budget and took in only $3.5 million U.S. and only $4.5 million worldwide. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
Also starring Isla Fisher (last seen in "Definitely, Maybe"), Snoop Dogg (last seen in "Dolemite Is My Name"), Stefania LaVie Owen (last seen in "Krampus"), Zac Efron (last seen in "Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile"), Martin Lawrence (last seen in "Bad Boys II"), Jonah Hill (last heard in "How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World"), Donovan Williams, David Bennett, Clinton Archambault, Joshua Ritter, John Morris, Jo Marie Payton, Ricky Diaz, Chela Arias, Ricardo Matallana, Sharon Pfeiffer (last seen in "The Irishman"), Debra Cohen, Alan Frankel, with cameos from Jimmy Buffett (last seen in "Billionaire Boys Club"), Bertie Higgins.
RATING: 2 out of 10 cans of PBR
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