BEFORE: I didn't really plan for Easter this year, like I just dubbed two Biblical movies from cable to DVD - "Mary Magdalene" and "Paul, Apostle of Christ". There's just no time to re-work my schedule and try to fit them in, plus the line-up is already so tightly fixed in place that I'm afraid that pulling out one film will make the whole thing collapse, Jenga-style. I tried to link from my upcoming Hitler-based films to the Ingmar Bergman chain, and it's possible - but then I can't find a way back to link up to my chain in time for Mother's Day, so it's probably best to scrap that whole idea. I can start 2021 with those films, and then I've got a couple of possible outros from Bergman's oeuvre that hopefully will get me to where I might need to be on February 1, which is still to be determined.
Instead on something blatantly Easter-related, I've landed on "The Blind Side", which has been on my watchlist longer than almost any other film, let's say two or possibly three years, and before that I was actively avoiding it, because it seems like one of those corny films based on "Christian values" that gets high marks from the folks in the Bible Belt, and that usually turns my interest level way down. Kind of like the crap you see on the Lifetime or Ion networks, or the really heavy-handed stuff like "The Shack" or "VeggieTales", why would I be interested in that? But then I thought, wait, if it's one of those moral tales, isn't that appropriate for Easter weekend? OK, to be honest I really just put this here for the linking out of necessity, to keep the chain alive, and any connection to Easter is an afterthought.
I had really been saving this to link to "Bad Santa 2", but a couple of Christmases have come and gone now, and I haven't gotten to that one, either. So maybe it's time to re-think the plan, and just cross this one off the list to free up another slot for something else. Ideally watching this in December would have had the extra advantage of being in football season, or maybe the NFL playoffs, whereas right now there are no sports being played, and nobody knows if the pandemic will be over in time for the next football season. It's also a school-based film, and there's no school going on either, so I just can't win.
So Kathy Bates carries over from "On the Basis of Sex", and it is what it is. I'll get back to both Armie Hammer and Felicity Jones sometime in May, and we'll see Kathy Bates one more time too, in late April.
THE PLOT: The story of Michael Over, a homeless and traumatized boy who became an All-American football player and first-round NFL draft pick with the help of a caring woman and her family.
AFTER: OK, so it's not football season right now, or school season. The whole calendar has gone awry anyway, because this week I watched both a winter-based crime drama and also a summer-based Swedish horror film. Ah, but here's my saving grace - Mother's Day is on the horizon, so I could call this an early Mother's Day film (the first of, I don't know, maybe four this year?). But also there's the NFL Draft, which as of this writing, is still scheduled for April 23-25. I guess maybe they're going to do the whole thing by virtual teleconferencing? If so, good for them. I figure sports fans and bookies have already torn out all their hair over the cancelling of the NCAA March Madness tournament, plus baseball and basketball are on hold. At least the fantasy football people will now have something to do - and it gives us some sense that life may go on after the pandemic. See, I knew I could find a tie-in somewhere.
And there's the whole Christian tie-in here, too - the Tuohy family takes in "Big Mike" because it's the right thing to do, and their kids' faith-based school in Memphis gives him a slot for similar reasons, to live up to their motto. There you go, practice what you preach. Only don't gather together for Easter this year because you're putting yourself (and others) at risk when you gather in large groups. I know it's tough, Evangelicals, because when you've been using religion as your feel-good crutch for so long, it's tough to walk without that crutch, but you've got to try. The Bible says to "Love your neighbor as you love yourself," so please show your love for your neighbor by not exposing them to a virus at services, which you may be carrying right now without knowing it. Church will still be there for you next month if you want it, but attending Easter services right now would be very selfish and self-serving, so don't do it. Or think about it this way, the early Christians were persecuted in the Roman Empire and had to gather in very small groups or practice their faith in secret at home, so really, this is an opportunity to get back to the basics of your religion. (Or you may feel the need after a month away to NOT return to church, and that's OK too - I gave it up at age 17 and didn't go back, except for weddings and funerals.)
But let's get back to "The Blind Side", named after, I think the way that a left tackle approaches the quarterback, from his blind side. There was an opening explanation that name-checked Lawrence Taylor, the greatest left tackle of all time, and how it later became a very crucial position on a football team, usually the second highest paid team member, after the quarterback, and how a certain type of person with a particular body type tends to make the best left tackle, and that's the type of person that Michael Oher, aka "Big Mike" was when he was in high school. A giant kid, but apparently a "gentle giant". If this film is to be believed, he might not even have been aggressive enough to play football, if Mrs. Tuohy hadn't convinced him to envision his team as his adoptive family, and the opposing team as people who are trying to harm his family. (NITPICK POINT: Michael's school aptitude tests are not good, except for in some area called "protective instincts", which sounds like a bid load of B.S. I don't remember any school tests for this, it's not anywhere on any report card after English, math and science scores...)
The whole film was pretty boring and white-bread, until it came time for Michael to be interviewed by someone from the NCAA, inquiring about his decision to attend the University of Mississippi, the school that both of his adoptive parents coincidentally (?) attended, and also his tutor, and then there's the fact that his high-school football coach was offered a position there, JUST around the time that Big Mike was trying to decide which school to accept a football scholarship from. "AH HAH!" I thought, "now the fix is in!" This called to mind some of the recent celebrity scandals regarding college recruitment, where some parents colluded with college sports coaches to get their kids scholarships, which involved doctoring up some resumes or falsely claiming that the kids were interesting in rowing or gymnastics or something, and I guess the celebs would then fork over a ton of money or pay for a new gym or a new field or some "sports equipment". OK, to be honest, I didn't follow the scandal that closely, but didn't it suggest that this kind of thing goes on all the time, and by focusing on just the misdeeds of Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, maybe we were missing the big picture?
It sort of called into question, if even for just a minute, the whole motivation for the Tuohys taking Michael into their homes, like they obviously knew the importance of high school football, since their daughter was a cheerleader, and they watched a lot of college football and both rooted for "Ole Miss". So just maybe the whole "Christian charity" thing was a ruse, and they'd been recruiting for their alma mater all along? This was the best plot twist at just the right time, because it spoke volumes about the parent-child relationship, and how some parents sort of thrust their values (and their sports team preferences) on to their children, and somehow never get around to even asking their kids if they like playing sports, or if they want to go to college in the first place. That's when you realize that there can be a very fine line between raising your kids the way you want and just plain programming them. Too much of the first thing and you may accidentally be doing the second - so when they rebel (and they inevitably will) you have to be ready to take that in stride, and realize they may not turn out to be a carbon copy of their parents, at some point they're going to have to start thinking for themselves and make their own decisions. That's my take-away, anyway.
I recognized a number of the college football coaches who play themselves in the film, because I used to record college football games as part of my old job, where I tracked commercials. Lou Holtz, of course, and I recognized Nick Saban because he's doing AFLAC ads now. It's been a while for me since I had to watch any college games, I think they've probably changed all the names of the Bowl games on me. Yeah, football's not really my thing, but I love a good college athlete recruitment scandal. And hey, there's actually a thematic tie-in with yesterday's film, "On the Basis of Sex" - both are "based on a true story" biopics where the subject makes a cameo appearance at the end.
Also starring Sandra Bullock (last seen in "The Proposal"), Tim McGraw (last seen in "The Shack"), Quinton Aaron (last seen in "Be Kind Rewind"), Lily Collins (last seen in "Tolkien"), Jae Head (last seen in "Hancock"), Ray McKinnon (last seen in "Mud"), Kim Dickens (last seen in "The Highwaymen"), Adriane Lenox (last seen in "Black Snake Moan"), Ashley LeConte Campbell (last seen in "Get Out"), Joe Chrest (last seen in "The Front Runner"), Sharon Conley (last seen in "The Boss"), Omar J. Dorsey (last seen in "Race to Witch Mountain"), David Dwyer (also last seen in "The Highwaymen"), Catherine Dyer, Rhoda Griffis, Eaddy Mays, Tom Nowicki, Robert Pralgo (last seen in "The Leisure Seeker"), Irone Singleton, Andy Stahl (last seen in "October Sky"), Libby Whittemore, Melody Weintraub, with cameos from Phillip Fulmer, Lou Holtz, Tom Lemming, Houston Nutt, Ed Orgeron, Franklin Rodgers, Nick Saban, Tommy Tuberville, with archive footage of Roger Goodell, Lawrence Taylor, Joe Theismann, and the real Michael Oher.
RATING: 5 out of 10 Taco Bell franchises
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