BEFORE: See, I told you we'd get here. Just wanted to squeeze in a few extra films so that I'll hit "Avengers: Endgame" on the right day.
Anna Camp carries over from "The Most Hated Woman in America", where she played a teacher who didn't see what was wrong with enforced prayers in school.
FOLLOW-UP TO: "Pitch Perfect" (Movie #1,522), "Pitch Perfect 2" (Movie #2,413)
THE PLOT: Following their win at the world championship, the now-separated Bellas reunite for one last competition at an overseas USO tour, but face groups who use both instruments and voices.
AFTER: Boy, this franchise really has followed the rule of diminishing returns - each film in this series has been a little harder to believe than the one before, so that by the time they've put out the third film, the events depicted are so far-fetched that I'm betting they don't bear any resemblance to what goes on in the modern music world, or the world of a cappella. The first film is a bit like a restaurant that I had a sort-of OK meal at, though there were some service issues, and I keep checking back every couple years to see if the service has improved, only to find out that it hasn't.
Looking back on my previous reviews of "Pitch Perfect" 1 and 2, there are two main things that bother me most about this series - the use of sports-like sideline commentators during the a cappella competitions (it just doesn't happen) and the infamous "riff-offs" that appear to be spontaneous underground battles between (vocal) bands, but from the way they go down, couldn't possibly be what they say they are. These are both STILL problems in the third film, but let me address my issues one by one.
First off, I used to live in this world. I sang in vocal groups in high school and college, and then as an adult I was a big fan of groups like the Nylons and the Bobs, and when I couldn't seem to land a spot in a real a cappella group myself, I found a few like-minded people and we formed our own group. I did this TWICE - neither group really went anywhere, but we had a lot of fun and I learned to arrange music (it's tough, but I managed) and for a few years I went to this annual East Coast a cappella summit (this was before I discovered Comic-Con). Back then, the big group was Rockapella, before they broke up and re-formed and replaced nearly every founding member in the group - and at that point, is it even the same group any more?
So I've been to many, many competitions, like the Harmony Sweepstakes. There is never, NEVER any running commentary from sports-like experts, because this is not a sport. And these competitions are rarely, if ever, broadcast, so who would even be listening to commentary, when all that people want to hear is the music? A few years back they had an "American Idol"-like a cappella competition on TV, it was called "The Sing-Off", and while there were judges rating each performance, that all took place AFTER the singing, not during. They sort of tried to solve this problem in this third film by taking those commentators and turning them into de facto documentary filmmakers who follow the Bellas around - this gives them an excuse to ask strange questions and throw a lot of shade at the girls, because if they can catch them in embarrassing moments, or show their lows as well as their highs, that's all grist for the documentary mill.
However, this leads to more problematic questions about following the Bellas around and filming them - like if they don't seem to even LIKE the Bellas very much, then WHY are they doing this? And as any good filmmaker knows, you can't make a documentary about someone without their permission, or at least getting them to sign a release. (Yes, you can make a documentary about a public figure or famous person, but the Bellas don't really qualify as that.) So any doc made about the Bellas that intentionally made them look stupid or incompetent couldn't be released, not without the permission of the subjects, or the filmmakers would be on the hook for a potential lawsuit.
Now, the next issue concerns the Bellas getting back together - an accidental non-reunion, plus some personal setbacks in their careers, and the fact that there's a new batch of college-age Barden Bellas that replaced the graduated alumni, this all gives the older Bellas the idea to really get back together and go on the road. But it's very far-fetched that they would choose to go on a USO Tour, and even MORE far-fetched that there would be some kind of secret, unspoken, tacit competition where the "best" group out of four contenders gets to open for DJ Khaled and maybe get a record contract, or something. It's all very unclear, and seems like the kind of thing a record company would float out there to get people to go on the road and do concerts for free.
It would have made more sense for the Bellas to get back together and transition from a college a cappella group to a professional one. That's a valid career option, we have those now - Pentatonix is the best example, but I'm sure there are others (Straight No Chaser, Home Free, Take 6, plus the ones I named above). Why is this not an option they consider? Because it's too much work? Sure, let's stake all our chips on some nebulous record contract promise and a possibly non-existent competition, why not. Probably the answer here is that a USO tour of military bases in Spain, Italy and France is much more cinematic - whereas a USO tour through Iraq and Afghanistan would be much more dangerous and not as scenic. And watching them just slog through a bunch of mediocre local concerts, do publicity and promotions, hang posters and network - yeah, that sounds boring.
Now, the riff-off, which I thought couldn't get any more ridiculous than the one seen in "Pitch Perfect 2" - it turns out I was wrong. The chances that any group would be able to come up with a song ON THE SPOT that not only meets the criteria of a particular topic (party songs or artists that are secretly Jewish) but also is one that they already know and have worked out the harmonies on, even though they don't know what key they're going to be singing in - and then to be able to think of the first word of that song, and how it's going to match a word that's coming up in the song that the OTHER group is currently singing.... Uh-uh, no way, this would make someone's head explode. And then to have some kind of group-mind take over so that everyone somehow knows when to jump in and how to harmonize with the others, without their starting notes - it's impossible. And it's clear that someone behind the scenes pre-picked songs that all mash up together, arranging is a LOT of work and does not happen instantly like this.
Let me try a sports analogy - imagine you're an Olympic gymnast, and you have to do certain things in your floor exercise routine, in order to get a great score. BUT you can't work out your routine in advance, or practice in any way, because they don't tell you what flips and jumps you'll have to do until right before the competition. AND you have to start your routine the moment that the gymnast from the other country stops, and you also must be ready to STOP your routine if someone else starts theirs. Maddening, right? Oh, and you have to time your routine so that when you finish, you'll hit the mat at the exact same time as that guy on the pommel horse. Or imagine a bunch of synchronized swimmers who has to do the exact same movements, only it has to be improvisational, they can't plan out the routine in advance - that would be impossible, as is the riff-off depicted here.
The film also has to bend itself over backwards and sideways just to get Anna Kendrick's character in front of one of those sampling/mixing devices, so I'm guessing her solo song from the last film turned out to be one of the most popular. But this really takes the focus away from the group songs, which I think are more powerful and better-arranged overall. This is supposed to be a TEAM, and any plot points that take the focus away from the team shouldn't get so much air time. Case in point, they tried to give each Bella a little bit of a solo story, and they range from misguided (Aubrey's absent daddy issues) to completely nonsensical (Fat Amy's father is a dangerous criminal, or terrorist or something). And the Asian girl never even spoke before? That seems weird, and everyone just assumed that she couldn't speak English, but could somehow sing it? Ad then the "real truth" about her is even weirder than that.
NITPICK POINT: This is meant for humor, I suppose, but there are two characters in the group that have been so neglected by the screenwriters that when they finally get mentioned, the other characters jokingly say how unimportant they are, or that they don't really like them or know much about them. Then why, for God's sake, were they invited to go on tour with the group? Are they singing some harmonies that nobody else can sing? If you have a musical group with 11 people and nobody else liked two of them, wouldn't it make more sense to kick them out and have a 9-person group?
On the issue of personal growth, it's too bad that these two girls have trouble either getting their father's attention, or getting out from their father's shadow. Two of the other girls try to act like strong, independent women, but lose all sensibility as soon as they're around eligible men like their military liaison or a record executive. Combined, this is a terrible message to send out to younger women, because that's four cases where the women are letting themselves be defined by their relationships with men. I would have greatly preferred that these girls figure out that true happiness and satisfaction in life can come from within, and not from being in a high-paying job or in a relationship with a successful man.
So this movie couldn't really decide what it wanted to be - was it a singing movie, or a movie about a bunch of friends getting back together, is it a comedy, is it a drama about finding your path in life, or is it an action movie about getting kidnapped by terrorists and conducting a dramatic escape? It's a shame that there's so little focus, because in the end a movie just can't be about all of those things - it's firing off in all directions without landing any meaningful points. The second film ended with all the Bellas, past and present, coming together and singing together and promising to always be there for each other, as a network of strong women. So this series SHOULD end with the group becoming successful together, and anything but that is just unacceptable, and makes me feel like I've wasted my time.
It's past time for me to say goodbye to this series, anway - out of all the songs the Bellas sang (not including the ones in the riff-off) I only recognized two of them, the Britney Spears one and the George Michael one. I think I've aged out of the program, I don't know songs by Flo Rida and Aloe Blacc and Iggy Azalea. I had to look them up after, it's just not my kind of music.
Also starring Anna Kendrick (last heard in "Trolls"), Rebel Wilson (last seen in "The Brothers Grimbsy"), Hailee Steinfeld (last heard in "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse"), Elizabeth Banks (last seen in "Shaft"), John Michael Higgins (last seen in "Mascots"), John Lithgow (last seen in "Leap Year"), Brittany Snow (last seen in "Pitch Perfect 2"), Ester Dean (ditto), Hana Mae Lee (ditto), Chrissie Fit (ditto), Kelley Jakle (ditto), Shelley Regner (ditto), Alexis Knapp (ditto), Matt Lanter, Guy Burnet, DJ Khaled (last seen in "Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping"), Ruby Rose (last seen in "XXX: Return of Xander Cage"), Andy Allo (last seen in "The Hero"), Venzella Joy Williams, Hannah Fairlight, Troy Ian Hall, Michael Rose (last seen in "Kill the Messenger"), Jessica Chaffin, Moises Arias (last seen in "Ben-Hur"), Jeff Hortillosa, Andrew van Voorhees, Bobby Fitzgerald, James Gwyn, James Bookert, Trinidad James, D.J. Looney.
RATING: 4 out of 10 custom-made juice drinks
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