BEFORE: OK, getting ready for "Avengers: Endgame" has proven to be a massive amount of work, which included (but is not limited to): staying mostly off of Twitter and Facebook for a week leading up to today's screening, re-alphabetizing my comic-book collection from letters D through M, re-reading the original "Infinity Gauntlet" series for clues on how to wrap up the storyline, and re-watching "Avengers: Infinity War" the night before so the lead-in to today's film would be fresh in my mind. Oh, and I had to find a way to drop two films from my chain and then seal the gap. All told, it was a monumental set of tasks, but since my wife's out of town for a few days, I found the time to do all the prep-work. I miss her, of course, but her temporary absence not only allows me time, but in fact forces me to do all these things so that I can stay busy. If not for these tasks, I could possibly revert to caveman state without her, or she may return to find me on the floor in a fetal position, rocking back and forth mumbling to myself. You never know.
I should point out that even though I'm seeing this film on the fourth day of its release, I understand that not everyone gets to see the film on opening weekend. I didn't want to fight those crowds myself, and I've had the best luck lately waiting until the Monday (or Wednesday) right after opening weekend. People just don't think about going to a movie on a Monday - but considering how full the seating chart looked when my friend Adam bought us two tickets, I think the theater will be packed tonight, even though it's Monday. The overflow alone of people who WANTED to see this on opening weekend, but couldn't get a ticket, should be enough to fill all the seats.
Be warned, there could be MASSIVE SPOILERS ahead - but not for "Endgame", if I can help it. However, I can't talk about "Endgame" without revealing what went down in "Avengers: Infinity War", so those are the spoilers I'm worried about. If you haven't seen "Infinity War" in the last year, please don't read any further. Or stop here and watch that movie on Netflix, what are you waiting for? It's 2 1/2 hours long, but so worth it - I'll still be here when you get back, I promise. And if you've seen "Infinity War" but not "Endgame", I still say to proceed with caution, because anything is a potential spoiler - even just a list of actors is a spoiler in this case, I think.
Bradley Cooper carries over again from "The Mule", this week he's been seen as a cop, a country-rock star, a DEA agent, and now he's the voice of a talking raccoon. OK, whatever.
FOLLOW-UP TO: "Avengers: Infinity War" (Movie #2,940), "Captain Marvel" (Movie #3,175)
THE PLOT: After the devastating events of "Avengers: Infinity War", the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, the Avengers assemble once more in order to undo Thanos' actions and restore order to the universe.
AFTER: Supposedly this film is the last piece in a giant, 22-film jigsaw puzzle, and therefore it's got a lot of threads to follow up on, not just THE BIG ONE, but also all the little ones. Ideally it should contain the answers to everything, only that's an impossible task, so instead it has to settle on some kind of resolution for "Infinity War", only that's a near-impossible task as well - even if you're not up on ALL the Marvel movies, you probably heard what happened at the end of "Infinity War" (TURN BACK NOW if you don't know what I'm talking about, last chance...) when half of Earth's heroes, hell, half of Earth's population, wait, no, half of the life in the universe turned to dust. Wiped out of existence by Thanos, using the six Infinity Stones. That's what Thanos is, that's WHY Thanos is, his goal was to reduce the population of the universe by half, so that the remaining half would have more resources, more food, and no planet would suffer and die due to over-population. (Now, if you've read the comic book "Infinity Gauntlet", he had a different reason, he was "in love" with the female personification of Death, think of a feminine Grim Reaper character).
In a weird way, Thanos was right - over-population is a problem, running out of resources, pollution, climate change, quality of life, these are problems that could be fixed by eliminating 1/2 of the world's population. But Thanos is also very wrong, because killing, even without pain, has been determined to be morally not good, and then if controls aren't put into place, the population is only going to grow again, and then we'll be back where we started eventually. Earth's population HAS to learn to control itself before we reach the tipping point, or we could face famine, disease, more climate change, and massive destruction in some form. (There's a bedtime story for you, kids. Good luck getting to sleep.) Plus, then how do you choose which people live and which ones die to save the planet? Thanos said his choices were random, but he could have just as easily eliminated ALL of the superheroes, or, my suggestion, start with the people who put ketchup on their hot dogs (because they're all monsters) and then start working your way through the vegans, vegetarians, and people with food allergies. Trust me, he'd be doing the planet a favor, at least from a culinary point of view. We can then think about eliminating the people who use the word "literally" incorrectly and the word "actually" too often, though then I fear there just wouldn't be many humans left.
But take it from me, I've been reading comic books for a long time, over 35 years, and I've just about seen it all. Take a character like the Hulk, who's gone through so many incarnations - I've seen gray Hulk, green Hulk, red Hulk, dumb Hulk, smart Hulk, I've seen Bruce Banner and the Hulk separated at least twice, I've seen the character DIE at least twice, get exiled from the Earth twice, and he always, always comes back - they all do. (I'm not even counting Hulkling, She-Hulk or Red-She-Hulk, because those are different characters...) The latest version of the Hulk comic book is even called "The Immortal Hulk" instead of "The Incredible Hulk" because Marvel freely admits now that the character dies so often that's his storyline has lost all believability and sense, so it really should be called "The Non-Credible Hulk", if you think about it. Name a Marvel hero, I've seen him (or her) die and come back - I've seen Captain America die twice, quit at least twice, get frozen twice, and even retconned out of existence to be an agent of HYDRA. I've seen Iron Man die at least twice, quit twice, go to rehab, and rebuild his entire body on the molecular level. They killed off Black Widow at the end of a crossover called "Secret Empire", I mean she was really dead, her neck snapped and everything, and another writer brought her back TWO MONTHS later in a series called "Tales of Suspense".
So there's dead, and then there's "comic-book dead", which means that another writer can always find a way to bring a character back, usually in a new #1 issue, or preferably in a 6-part limited series that, if it sells well, will lead to a new ongoing series with yet ANOTHER #1 issue. You see, much like a soap opera, Marvel's not in the business of ending things - the story is never over. Characters come back in soap operas after a plane crash or car crash or something, when it's revealed they were burned in the crash and spent 6 months in a hospital in Argentina, and after massive plastic surgery they look different (because they're now played by a different actor) and we all just roll with it, because it allows the story to continue. And now they're back, ready to go back to work at the hospital or inherit the family fortune, or stop that wedding just before their ex says "I do" to someone else.
Think about it - what would happen if Batman caught all the criminals in Gotham City? What if Superman solved world hunger and all the world's energy problems? What if the Avengers captured all their recurring villains and made them stand trial, then what would happen in the comic books? It would probably be pretty boring, watching them sit around their headquarters, playing cards between training sessions, right?
About 30 minutes after watching "Infinity War" last year, on the way home from the theater even, it hit me - all those Avengers and their friends were not really dead, they were only "comic-book dead". Which doesn't count as a spoiler, because it makes perfect sense if you look at the release schedule for future Marvel movies - they'd already announced "Spider-Man: Far From Home" and a third volume in the "Guardians of the Galaxy" series, so how could they make those films unless they brought back the heroes lost during "Infinity War"? Turning them all into prequels, watching the adventures of the dead heroes before they died would be too depressing.
Ah, genius, I thought, the next movie's going to be all about bringing them back - only, how? My mind filled with theories for the next few months, about what circumstances could possibly take place to bring this about, it's not impossible, though it seemed very, very unlikely. Finally, after months of speculation I went back to read "Infinity Gauntlet" (released in 1991!) for some clues - now, the movie doesn't HAVE to follow the comic book, right off there are some major differences, like in the comic book it's Silver Surfer that crashes into Dr. Strange's house to warn about Thanos, and in the movies, it's Bruce Banner that does this. Thanos also fights the Elders of the Universe (Eternity, Master Order, Lord Chaos, the In-Betweener, etc.) in the comic, and those characters just aren't in the MCU. So some allowances have to be made. Still, these are (roughly) the theories I kept coming back to:
1) The "Captain Marvel" theory - we learned in her solo movie where she'd been all those years (since the mid-1990's) and a hint of what she'd be capable of when she came back. So, perhaps she's got some energy or just plain raw power that could take down Thanos, so they could put together a special "hit squad" of Avengers to track him down and make (?) him un-do his genocide.
2) The "Nebula" theory - somehow get the Infinity Gems away from Thanos, and another person could use them to "rewind time", like Thanos did to get the Mind Stone away from Vision. In the "Infinity Gauntlet" comic, Nebula grabbed the gauntlet with the gems and immediately said "Let everything be the way it was 24 hours ago!" but of course, she forgot that 24 hours prior, Thanos was holding her hostage in a zombie-fied stasis, between life and death. So, poor planning there, but a smarter gauntlet user could find a way to phrase this wish a little better, and bring all the heroes back.
3) The "Iron Man" theory - in "Infinity War", Dr. Strange scanned over 14 million possible futures, and found exactly ONE way to defeat Thanos. His next action was to trade the Time Stone for Iron Man's life, to make sure that Iron Man wasn't part of the universe's eliminated people. Did Dr. Strange know that Iron Man's knowledge, skill or power was somehow the key to defeating Thanos?
4) The Avengers soldier on with the heroes they have left, maybe bringing back Hawkeye and Ant-Man to the roster, and move forward, guiding the world toward acceptance of the things they can't change, and making the best of things while defending the world against future alien invasions, and making sure that Thanos never comes back, even when the world gets full of people again? (I know, that sounds pretty boring, right?) But this is, generally speaking, what the Avengers do - the roster keeps changing but the mission parameters remain the same - protect the planet.
Now, I've told you all the theories I had BEFORE watching "Endgame" - so I haven't really told you anything about what IS in the movie, just what I expected to see. Maybe some of the things above happened, maybe none of them happened, maybe ALL of them happened. I kept going back and forth - Iron Man is the key, no, wait, Captain Marvel's the key - no, wait, maybe it's Nebula.
Here's what I think I can tell you - the first hour of the film is just mired in grief, I mean, you've got to have the lowest possible lows for maximum impact if you're then going to reach the highest highs, right? And everybody's who's still actively on the Avengers (Black Widow, Captain America, Thor, War Machine, Rocket, Captain Marvel) has lost somebody, so they're doing the best that they can - but something is still wrong with the planet, and that's somehow related to Thanos's actions, so bringing back the disassembled Avengers isn't just a personal issue, it could be a way to save the planet. (See, I told you, Thanos was right, but Thanos was also wrong...) But this is also a shout-out to the original comic "Infinity Gauntlet", where Thanos's power knocks all of California into the ocean, and the West Coast Avengers are forced to relocate their headquarters to Las Vegas.
The question then becomes, for the audience at least, is "Can they bring back the Avengers that were wiped away by Thanos in a believable and satisfying way?" Again, remember that Marvel is NOT in the business of ending stories, so what follows is another two hours of complications, essentially. But what was apparently wrong with my theories listed above is that they would wrap things up in five minutes, and not three hours. (Yes, this film is THREE hours long. Be sure to visit the restroom before the film begins, maybe during the previews. And buy a small soda or water, not the large one, even if the large is only 50 cents more. You can thank me later.)
So the middle of the film is SO convoluted, SO full of twists and turns and shout-outs and callbacks to the Marvel movies that came before, you might have trouble keeping track of it all. I sure did, and I've seen all 21 MCU movies before this, plus I have 35 years of comic-book reading experience. I'm not saying you need this, or do any of the rituals that I did to prepare for this film, but they couldn't hurt. Then there are (I'm sure) about a hundred Easter eggs and inside jokes for the Marvel fans - after I finish typing this I'm going to look for a list of them all online.
Then there's a final battle that feels it has to top everything that has gone before, even the battle that went down in Wakanda during "Infinity War". It's just a bit unfortunate that the movie spent two and a half hours bending itself over backwards and sideways to seemingly avoid this sort of thing, and then ends up right back there again, almost exactly where it left off. BUT if you have a favorite character, that character will probably get a moment to shine somewhere in that battle, so you've got that to look forward to.
But whether this ends in a satisfying conclusion (or at least a stopping point) is for you to decide, I wouldn't try to impose my opinion on you. But hey, I trust Doctor Strange, who looked at 14 million possible futures (one wonders if this is how many ideas the screenwriters rejected...) and if he says this is the way it's got to be, who am I to argue with him?
Without spoiling anything (I'll leave that to others) about the ending, I just want to say this - the Marvel Cinematic Universe began with Iron Man and Captain America, and to a certain degree, this phase of storytelling ends with Iron Man and Captain America. They were on opposite sides during the "Civil War", and that was by design, because they represent two completely different attitudes toward superheroing - Tony Stark was always selfish and arrogant to a degree, while Steve Rogers was always sacrificing and humble. They worked together well until this difference in personality caused a huge rift. But they come back together in "Endgame", and they put aside their differences, and they learn from each other, in a certain sense they also sort of switch places. At the start of "Endgame", Tony Stark is still saying "I won't give up my personal life." and Steve Rogers is saying, "We'll do whatever it takes." In the very end, Tony Stark learns the meaning of sacrifice, and Steve Rogers learns to be a little bit selfish - the symmetry is quite amazing, and that's all I want to say about it.
Also starring Chris Evans (last seen in "Captain Marvel"), Scarlett Johansson (ditto), Mark Ruffalo (ditto), Brie Larson (ditto), Don Cheadle (ditto), Robert Downey Jr. (last seen in "The Singing Detective"), Chris Hemsworth (last seen in "12 Strong"), Jeremy Renner (last seen in "Kill the Messenger"), Paul Rudd (last seen in "Ant-Man and the Wasp"), Evangeline Lilly (ditto), Josh Brolin (last seen in "Only the Brave"), Chadwick Boseman (last seen in "Avengers: Infinity War"), Danai Gurira (ditto), Anthony Mackie (ditto), Sebastian Stan (ditto), Tom Holland (ditto), Benedict Cumberbatch (ditto), Pom Klementieff (ditto), Dave Bautista (ditto), Zoe Saldana (ditto), Winston Duke (ditto), Elizabeth Olsen (last seen in "Peace, Love & Misunderstanding"), Jon Favreau (last heard in "Solo: A Star Wars Story"), Chris Pratt (last seen in "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom"), Karen Gillan (last seen in "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle"), Benedict Wong (last seen in "Annihilation"), Tessa Thompson (ditto), Gwyneth Paltrow (last seen in "Thanks for Sharing"), Letitia Wright (last seen in "The Commuter"), Frank Grillo (last seen in "The Grey"), Ty Simpkins (last seen in "The Nice Guys"), Hiroyuki Sanada (last seen in "Life"), Tom Hiddleston (last heard in "Early Man"), Maximiliano Hernandez (last seen in "Sicario"), Callan Mulvey, Jacob Batalon, Ross Marquand, James D'Arcy (last seen in "The Snowman"), Emma Fuhrmann, Lexi Rabe, with the voices of Carrie Coon, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, Michael James Shaw, Terry Notary, Vin Diesel (last heard in "Avengers: Infinity War'), Taika Waititi (last heard in "Thor: Ragnarok"), Kerry Condon, and cameos from Michael Douglas (last seen in "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"), Michelle Pfeiffer (last seen in "Mother!"), Cobie Smulders (last seen in "Jack Reacher: Never Go Back"), Samuel L. Jackson (last seen in "Quincy"), Robert Redford (last seen in "Pete's Dragon"), Angela Bassett (last seen in "Mission: Impossible - Fallout"), William Hurt (last seen in "Avengers: Infinity War"), Rene Russo (last seen in "Nightcrawler"), Natalie Portman (last seen in "Vox Lux"), John Slattery (last seen in "Mona Lisa Smile), Tilda Swinton (last heard in "Isle of Dogs"), Hayley Atwell (last seen in "Christopher Robin"), Marisa Tomei (last seen in "Spider-Man: Homecoming"), Linda Cardellini (last seen in "The Founder"), Stan Lee (last seen in "Venom"), Ken Jeong (last heard in "Norm of the North"), Yvette Nicole Brown (last seen in "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters"), Jim Starlin.
RATING: 8 out of 10 Pym particles
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