BEFORE: The Michael Buffer boxing film festival continues, as he carries over from "Against the Ropes". Buffer is NOT seen in the film "Southpaw", according to the IMDB, so I see no need to rush out and see that film in a theater just to complete the topic.
THE PLOT: A pair of aging boxing rivals are coaxed out of retirement to fight one final bout -- 30 years after their last match.
AFTER: I think they really missed the boat here, giving this film such a generic title. Any sport can have a grudge match, right? Any football team that meets an opponent year after year or any team that has a rivalry can have a grudge match, it's so generic. Why not call this film "Ready to Stumble" or work the Stallone angle and call it "Grudge Dredd"? Or my personal favorite alternate title, "Aging Bull"?
It makes me wonder what came first here, the story or the casting. Did someone write a film about two aging boxers and then check to see if both Stallone and De Niro were available, or did the two actors decide they wanted to work together, and had someone develop a project they could both do? Or, much more likely, this came from some development people sitting around over a couple of beers, wondering, "Who would win in a fight, Rocky Balboa or Jake LaMotta?"
There's more to this story than just boxing, of course. These two characters have a personal rivalry based on dating the same woman, so really it doesn't matter if they're boxers or hit men or shoe salesmen. They could go at each other with guns or knives if they truly hated each other, but boxing just happens to be the method used for them to channel their anger and hatred for each other.
But as we all know, hatred is just inner loathing turned outward. Neither guy had much of a successful career in boxing after their last match-up. One became a steelworker and a recluse, and the other opened a bar and a car dealership, and both remained unfulfilled in their personal life. But the unexpected consequences of fighting again include putting "Razor" Sharp back in touch with his old girlfriend, and "Kid" McDonnen back in touch with his adult son (conveniently the child of that same woman).
This is one messed-up family, in the end. That son had a stepfather that he regarded as his father, only to find out that his biological father is one boxer, and his mother is in love with another boxer. And those two boxers are rivals scheduled to fight each other. And he just got hired as a trainer, and he has to call his father "Kid". That's bound to be confusing.
There was something weird with the boxing footage - some of it didn't look quite right. Did they try to use CGI versions of Stallone and De Niro for some of the more grueling action sequences? Or were they so old and slicked-back that they didn't really look like themselves?
Unexpectedly, though, I did like a lot of the humor in this film. They sort of established a running joke, with a pattern that showed that every time these two guys got in the same room, their rivalry took over and they ended up smacking each other around, again and again. And since they're so old, they never realized that everyone around them always has a phone that can record video, so they kept ending up making the news again and again, acting like spoiled children, accidentally going viral time after time. There were plenty of other knowing winks to the audience, like having Stallone drinking eggs like "Rocky" or finding himself in a meat locker.
But why stop here? Next year's going to see the release of the "Batman vs. Superman" movie, after all. And we had the mash-up of "Aliens vs. Predator" a few years back - why not have Rambo take on De Niro's character from "The Deer Hunter"? or Travis Bickle vs. Jack Carter? You might think that logically I'm going to watch "The Expendables 3" next, but nope - more boxing tomorrow.
NITPICK POINT: I realize that the situation is played for laughs here, but don't they do a rehearsal before anyone sings "The Star-Spangled Banner" at a sporting event? Geez, Stallone's character can barely speak coherently, what would have made anyone think that he could sing clearly?
Also starring Robert De Niro (last seen in "We're No Angels"), Sylvester Stallone (last seen in "The Prisoner of Second Avenue"), Alan Arkin (last seen in "Jakob the Liar"), Kim Basinger (last seen in "Never Say Never Again"), Kevin Hart (last seen in "This Is the End"), Jon Bernthal, LL Cool J (last seen in "The Hard Way"), Jim Lampley, with cameos from Anthony Anderson (last seen in "The Big Year"), Mike Tyson (last seen in "Rocky Balboa"), Evander Holyfield, Don Lake, Rich Little.
RATING: 6 out of 10 butterscotch jelly beans
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