Someone Like You...

Year 7, Day 60 - 3/1/15 - Movie #1,960

BEFORE: You know you're really a geek when non-geek friends text you and ask how you're holding up after Leonard Nimoy dies.  Hey, I admired the man, I enjoyed him in his films, but I don't feel strongly enough about him to, say, dedicate some blog entries to him.  Let's keep some perspective here, it's not like he was in "Star Wars".  I'm slightly kidding, because my Trek fandom probably peaked some time around "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock", but the only Trek actor I ever met was James "Scotty" Doohan, while I've met about 16 "Star Wars" actors.

But I've got bigger concerns, since I'm trying to focus on eating healthy, or at least healthier than I have been for the last, oh, let's say two years.  When we went on our last cruise two years ago, I sort of adopted a "Well, fuck it" attitude about watching my weight, and now my doctor has told me that even though my cholesterol number is low, it's the wrong KIND of cholesterol.  I've got to get the good cholesterol number up and the bad number down, which means avoiding certain foods.  I spent the last few days eating grilled chicken instead of beef, and getting salads without avocados.  

OK, so we drove out to Long Island today and stopped for barbecue - but I got chicken instead of brisket, rice instead of fries, and corn.  Yeah, there were ribs involved also, but that was the first red meat I'd had in almost a week!  I can't just go cold turkey - in fact if I ate more cold turkey I might be OK.  I'm getting re-tested in 3 months, so I'm going to try to work out a schedule that allows for some healthier choices on workdays, and trying to pick better items when we eat out.  All I know is, it's going to be a long three months. 

Greg Kinnear carries over from "Sabrina", and the romance chain comes to an end today.  Oh, I still have about 8 or 9 films that I'd call romances (plus it seems like many of the Cary Grant films are also on topic), but I'll just work them in to the rest of the chain, because I'm hoping to not come around this way again next February.

THE PLOT:  After being jilted by her boyfriend, a talkshow talent scout writes a sexist column accusing all men of being cheaters, which gains her national fame.

AFTER: A little research shows that this film was based on a novel titled "Animal Husbandry", and when they started to turn it into a movie, the working title was "Animal Attraction".  The poster image posted on IMDB still has the old name, which means no one cared enough about this film to update the image to match the final title.  That's a bad sign.  

However, it explains why the lead character is so intent on comparing men to animals, and not the dogs that most romance films seem to suggest they are.  No, her theory has to do with bulls and their apparent inclination to always want to find a "new cow" to mate with, instead of sticking with one.  Footage of farmers explaining why their herds may have 100 cows and only 1 bull is designed to lead us to believe that men just don't want to be monogamous, however there is a much simpler explanation - it's much more economical to have 1 bull than 100 bulls, since cows also produce milk, which is a product that can be exchanged for money, and most bulls are only good for turning into beef, which can also be exchanged for money.  

To try and draw an analogy between the way that cattle ranchers run their herds and the dating habits of men is suspicious at best, and quite sexist and short-sighted at worst.  Does our heroine have some data to prove that men are more promiscuous than women, or have more sexual partners over a particular period of time?  Or is there any data that shows that men break up with women more than women break up with men?  Nope, I thought not.  In the long run, I'm guessing it's 50-50, the only difference being that women are possibly more inclined to end things sooner.  I'll admit that some men may lose interest after scoring, but women are more likely to shoot men down before it even gets that far.  

Of course, I can't prove that either, I have no statistics - people can only judge the dating scene by their own experiences.  But our heroine forgets that little detail, and she thinks that she's cracked the code, come up with a formula that explains everything that happens between men and women.  But perhaps writing this theory down right after a break-up is not the best idea, because it will probably be fueled by her raw emotions.  She not only writes it all down, she gets it published in a magazine, under a phony name of a degreed relationship expert, who doesn't exist.  

Now, this should never happen in the real world.  A magazine has a responsibility to check out the credentials of someone who writes an article for it.  Plus, writing under a pseudonym is fine, but faking a degree is not.  This should put her in the territory of James Frey or Brian Williams or anyone who's misrepresented themselves to tell a story - she should be blacklisted, and the magazine should print a retraction, but of course since this is a Hollywood film, we never see that happen. 

Instead she pulls a "Tootsie"-like moment on the air, revealing her deception, but speaking such valid truths about why her theory was wrong that the audience can't help but applaud.  For a liar who also admits that her article was way off base.  OK, great, congratulations.  
I guess that's the lesson, what's important to keep in mind while watching a lot of romance films in a row is this - your mileage may vary.  It's all too easy to take your own experiences, especially bad ones, and extrapolate them outward, which leads to generalizations and misconceptions.  "All men are pigs." (or dogs, or bulls, or whatever)  "All women are irrational." (or emotionally needy, or talk too much, or whatever)  Just don't do it - every partner you'll ever have is a different person with different traits, and if you ever think you've cracked the code, if you think you don't have more to learn, well, most likely you're mistaken.  

The final score for this year's romance chain was 21-8, in favor of love.  Love won out more times than not, which is to be expected from the movies.  Again, in real life I'm guessing the stats are more like 50-50.  When the "relationship expert" in this film doesn't realize she's falling in love with her roommate until it's already happened, it makes me wonder how any two people ever get together. 

Also starring Ashley Judd (last seen in "Where the Heart Is"), Hugh Jackman (last seen in "X-Men: Days of Future Past"), Marisa Tomei (last seen in "Parental Guidance"), Ellen Barkin (last seen in "The Fan"), Catherine Dent, Peter Friedman, with cameos from Colleen Camp, Naomi Judd, Hugh Downs. 

RATING: 3 out of 10 yoga mats