BEFORE: OK, another change in plans. I was going to watch "The Family Stone" next, since Sarah Jessica Parker would carry over, and that would set up the Diane Keaton chain. But as I started watching the credits, it started to feel more like a Christmas movie than a romance movie. And I wasn't in a Christmas-ey mood, it being February and all. So I'm tabling that film until the X-Mas holiday season rolls around again - but I'm still using it as my connection to link to Diane Keaton (last seen in "Interiors").
(Alternately, Sarah Jessica Parker was also in "New Year's Eve" with Katherine Heigl...)
Enter "The Big Wedding", a film I just put on a DVD with "Last Vegas", and I was planning to watch it later this year, which would have given me options to link to more DeNiro films, or even to the Robin Williams chain. I lose some of those options by watching the film tonight, but c'est la vie. And hey, I get to follow up a Mia Farrow film with a Diane Keaton film, a move I'll call a "reverse Woody Allen".
THE PLOT: A long-divorced couple fakes being married as their family unites for a wedding.
AFTER: As a result of my last-minute substitution, this film ends up next to "Miami Rhapsody" and the two movies actually share some things in common. They both depict large families with adult children, and everyone in the family is screwed up in some way. Last night it was a constant issue - nobody had any success being faithful or monogamous, and tonight it's a whole host of problems. The groom's adopted parents are divorced, and have settled into a happy equilibrium, the patriarch with his live-in girlfriend, and the matriarch happily single and independent.
Meanwhile we've got a daughter who's fresh off a break-up and sickened by the sight of babies (since they remind her that her biological clock is ticking, how quaint and sexist...) and an adult son who's still a virgin and waiting for true love. And the adopted son finds out that he has to either has to lie to a priest to get the Catholic Church's approval, or tell the truth about his relationship and be branded a sinner. Been there, done that. It's great when an organization that has 10 big taboos forces you to do one of them in order to get their blessing - not hypocritical at all.
The family order is thrown into chaos when the son's real mother arrives from Latin America, and she was never told that his adoptive parents were divorced. So rather than have an awkward conversation with her where they explain in a calm, rational manner what the truth is, everyone figures it's easier to maintain a lie for three days. What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything, as a matter of fact.
Also arriving from Latin America is a previously unmentioned sister - and she's very free and often naked, and our in-house virgin starts questioning his lifestyle. Ha ha, horny men are so funny. So eight or ten family members bounce around a house, snarking at each other while confusion reigns, old affairs are uncovered, people learn a bit about themselves, and finally two people are married to continue the cycle.
And very little of it is funny, I swear. Not even in a "isn't life funny?" kind of way. Nope, not a bit. Someone took an average situation, went out of their way to make it more complicated, just to have everything fixed at the last minute. It's a long way to go for such a small payoff.
NITPICK POINT: The whole scene with the priest at the Pre-Cana just didn't work. Why would Alejandro be so clueless about what the Catholic Church's pre-marital rules are, when he was later so concerned with what his conservative birth mother might expect? Wouldn't those represent the same set of expectations? And having been through the Pre-Cana myself, I'm fairly sure that a priest is not allowed to ask such direct questions about a young couple's sex life. If a priest asks, "Is her hymen intact?" I think the correct appropriate response would be "None of your god-damned business!" or at least a punch in the face. This is not the Dark Ages!
Also starring Robert De Niro (last seen in "American Hustle"), Robin Williams (last heard in "Happy Feet Two"), Susan Sarandon (last seen in "Cloud Atlas"), Katherine Heigl (last seen in "New Year's Eve"), Topher Grace (last seen in "Predators"), Amanda Seyfried (last heard in "Epic"), David Rasche (last seen in "United 93"), Christine Ebersole, Ben Barnes, Patricia Rae, Ana Ayora, with a cameo from Kyle Bornheimer.
RATING: 3 out of 10 confessionals
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