BEFORE: Picked this one to land on my birthday, because by the title, I can surmise that it's all about growing up. Right? RIGHT? Adam Sandler carries over from "Mr. Deeds", and several other actors do the same. Talk about being charitable - once you're one of Sandler's friends, you don't have to struggle for roles, even if you're just plain unfunny.
FOLLOW-UP TO: "Grown Ups" (Movie #837)
AFTER: Well, this was just misguided nonsense. I gave the first "Grown Ups" film a 4 because underneath all the slapstick, there was at least a message about how maybe it's a good idea to turn off the handheld devices and get outside with the family once in a while. This one - no message whatsoever that I could discern. It's just junk piled upon junk.
When the main characters are driving their kids' school bus (pretty sure you need a special license for that) because the regular bus driver is stoned, and it ends with them pulling him in an inflatable raft, you realize the plot was created by much the same process as when people play "Mad Libs". Can we have someone ride a snowmobile through a cotton candy factory? Sure, why not?
And there are no missed opportunities when you go for the cheapest laugh possible every time. Diaper humor? Leering at women working out? Forgetting an anniversary? Who needs a storyline when there are so many terrible mishaps that our characters can get into? From the opening joke where a family gets pissed on by an invading reindeer, nothing ever makes sense, and it's all downhill from that point. One character riding in a giant tire is a perfect metaphor - once it gets rolling downhill you don't know where it's going to stop, but it's bound to be a disaster.
The arbitrary stopping point (and at least there was one, God knows it could have gone on and on...) is an 80's-themed party (after pointing out that today's kids don't even know how long ago the 1980's were, so what's the point of having such a party?) where every plot thread (and I use that term very loosely) comes together in a giant fist-fight with an army of frat boys.
Thanks for making me feel old, guys - since I remember the 80's. And thanks for reminding me that everything we do as adults is essentially a pointless endeavor that ends in annihilation and entropy.
Also starring Kevin James (last seen in "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry"), David Spade (ditto), Chris Rock (last heard in "Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted"), Salma Hayek (last heard in "The Pirates! Band of Misfits"), Maya Rudolph (last heard in "Zookeeper"), Maria Bello (last seen in "Payback"), Nick Swardson, Tim Meadows (last seen in "Mean Girls"), Jon Lovitz (last heard in "Hotel Transylvania"), Colin Quinn, Steve Buscemi (also carrying over from "Mr. Deeds"), Peter Dante (ditto), Allen Covert (ditto), Oliver Hudson (last seen in "The Out of Towners"), Shaquille O'Neal, Cheri Oteri, Ellen Cleghorne, with cameos from Steve Austin, Georgia Engel, Taylor Lautner, Andy Samberg (last seen in "Celeste and Jesse Forever"), Will Forte (last seen in "Rock of Ages"), Taran Killam, Bobby Moynihan, Norm Crosby, Dan Patrick, Chris Berman, Milo Ventimiglia and the J. Geils Band.
RATING: 2 out of 10 field goals
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