BEFORE: Here's a quick preview of what's coming up in August. After the rock chain, 4 films with Ewan McGregor, then 5 with Leonardo DiCaprio. 4 with Jane Fonda, 2 with Richard Pryor, 2 with Johnny Depp. 2 films about magicians, then it's the 9-film mostly random sci-fi wrap-up. 2 films with Harrison Ford and 2 with Michael Keaton, and then before you know it, it will be Sept. 1. August goes fast, man, but I shouldn't have to tell you that.
I was out last night at a food & beer festival - Edible Manhattan's Good Beer event. I could have given myself the night off, but I've already calculated that if I skip a night, then my horror chain won't line up with Halloween the way I want. So now that my trips are over, I have to acknowledge that Halloween is just about 90 days away. Then 5 days after that, I'll wrap up another movie year.
Linking from "Purple Rain", Prince carries over, and so does Morris Day + the (MF) Time.
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AFTER: As you might imagine, I was more than a bit toasted after the food/beer pairing thing - I tried about 24 food samples paired with various local beers. Really, getting into an involved plot was the last thing I should have been doing - fortunately I remembered that "Purple Rain" barely had any plot, and neither does its sequel. Seriously, there's like one plot point. OK, two.
Plus, it's just about 90 min. long I figured I could just put in on in the background and let the music wash over me, sort of just take it in by osmosis. But it's more akin to cotton candy - as in, it's very light, weighs almost nothing and has no nutritional value whatsoever. You might get a sugar rush from it (especially if you dig Prince's music, but I can take it or leave it...) but it will never fill you up or make you feel satisfied.
I'm heartened by the number of Razzie awards this got nominated for - including Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Prince), Worst Director (also Prince), Worst Screenplay and Worst New Star. I agree the acting is just abysmal, worse even than what was on display in "Purple Rain" - this is why pop stars shouldn't act, direct and play music all at the same time.
If future archaeologists study the last millennium and want to investigate what killed the music video format, they should start here. Every cheesy music video stereotype is on display here, with no attempt to stretch beyond the form and form any kind of coherent point at all. Hey, if you like arbitrary "battles" over who performs better, or really who can pose and preen better, this is for you. If not, this is just the ultimate in nonsensical self-indulgence.
There was one point where Morris Day was performing, surrounded on stage by flames, where I thought maybe he's supposed to be the devil and Prince is God, or something along those lines, and the whole thing is a sort of parable, but no, that would be giving this movie a little too much credit.
Also starring Ingrid Chavez, Mavis Staples, George Clinton, Tevin Campbell.
RATING: 2 out of 10 paintbrushes
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