BEFORE: Linking back from Ewan McGregor to Scarlett Johansson, back the way I came, via "The Island".
THE PLOT: Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.
AFTER: We've moved on to Spain, but this is the same old Woody Allen - entitled rich people who are always either thinking about having affairs, having affairs, or ruing the fact that they had an affair. Jesus, isn't anyone anywhere ever happy, or at least satisfied? People hailed this film when it came out a few years ago, but I can't help but view it as a step backwards in his career, as it hearkens back to films like "September" and "Interiors".
The one thing that stands out, to make this film different and interesting, is that for a while, three of the characters are in a committed relationship together - that's one man and two women, and the women are even sort of into each other for a bit. Now you've got my attention - that's every man's fantasy, right? The plot of every late-night film on Cinemax... But no, the way it comes off here, it doesn't last long, and we don't get to see much of it, so congratulations, Woody, for finding a way to make a three-way boring.
And who the heck was narrating this? That actor didn't appear in the film at all, so who's telling this story, whose point of view is represented? It's all so disjointed, and self-contradictory. This little arrangement represented the perfect relationship - umm, until it didn't. Why? What changed? Somebody felt dissatisfied, but why? Again, every change just seems to be motivated by a woman acting irrationally, and from a story standpoint, that should not be enough, not every time.
Oh, and everyone who's Spanish, please speak English, for the benefit of the other characters. I mean, for the American audience.
I think I definitely need a break from all this drama. So it's a good thing we're headed out on our little three-day vacation tomorrow.
Also starring Javier Bardem (last seen in "Skyfall"), Penelope Cruz (last seen in "All the Pretty Horses"), Rebecca Hall (last seen in "Iron Man 3"), Chris Messina (last seen in "Celeste & Jesse Forever"), Patricia Clarkson (last seen in "Miracle"), Kevin Dunn, and the voice of Christopher Evan Welch, with a cameo from Zak Orth (last seen in "Melinda and Melinda")
RATING: 4 out of 10 wine tastings
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